(Flight 221)

Title: 5/5 

The title suits the fic nicely, giving the reader a hint of what the one-shot is about, but not giving away too much.

Forward/Description: 7/10

I understand your description, but the way it is written is quite awkward and certain phrases are grammatically incorrect. Your current description is:

'"Flight 22..." Jongin's tired eyes scanned the monitor. All he wanted to do was be home again and feel Seoul's warm summer air on his skin or to be lost in the endless amounts of books at favorite book shop. Most importantly, he wanted to see his lover's smile. '

I suggest to changing it to:

' "Flight 22..." Jongin's tired eyes scanned the monitor. All Jongin wanted to do was to be home again, feeling Seoul's warm summer air on his skin, or lost among the endless amount of books of his favorite book shop. Most of all, Jongin wanted to see his lover's smile. '

Appearance: 5/5

I have no problem with the appearance of your fic whatsoever.

Plot: 13/20

 Due to the fact that your fic is a one-shot, I cannot award you many points for the plot of your fic. Although you did not have an exact plot in your one-shot, you gave a short background of both Kai and Kyungsoo, giving the readers an idea of what happened between them, and I commend you for that. 

Mechanics: 17/20

I found no spelling nor grammatical errors in your fic, however, certain sentences were worded awkwardly.

In paragraph one a sentence is written as:

'It was that one word he was dreading most. '

I suggest changing it to: 'It was the one word he was dreading most. '

Also in paragraph one, a sentence is written as:

' How would this person react?'

The sentence itself is actually not awkward, but the way you referred to Kai's lover as 'this person' was awkward. When I first read the sentence it took me a while to realize that 'this person' was actually Kai's lover. I understand you don't want to reveal Kai's lover's name yet, but instead of using 'this person' just write it as:

'How would his lover react? ' or ' What would his lover's reaction be? '

If you don't want to overuse the phrase 'his lover', I suggest using a pronoun as a replacement, so the sentence would follow along the lines of, ' What would his reaction be? '

In paragraph one, remove the word 'simply' from the sentence, ' Jongin simply didn't know. ' to make the sentence flow smoother.

In paragraph two, the first sentence is written in a way that is hard to understand. Consider revising it from 'Finding an empty seat was difficult , but as he looked around the small room, there was one section that seemed out of place.' to 'Finding an empty seat was difficult. Looking around, Jongin found a section in the room that seemed out of place.' or 'Finding an empty seat was difficult. Looking around the room, Jongin found a section that seemed out of place.'

In the sentence, 'He instantly pulled out his earphones, and put it on full blast.' consider changing 'instantly' to 'immediately' and 'put it on' to 'turned them up'.

Characterization: 20/20

Considering your fic is a one-shot, you did a good job with characterization . You gave short backgrounds that hinted the character's personalities and lifestyles, within a few sentences so I commend you for that.

Flow: 14/15

I don't have much problem with the flow of your fic, but the transition from Kai and Kyungsoo just sitting there to Kai falling asleep on Kyungsoo's lap was a little to fast for me, but that could just be me. 

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

It was alright. It wasn't bad, it's just that I'm not really into one-shots or . Good read though.

Total: 84/100