Life goes on. Well, manner of speaking. It meant waking up, finding an outfit that was both comfortable but still made it look like she'd at least passed a mirror, curling her bangs, grabbing a banana and devouring it on the way to class. Then a strength training session, another hour of Korean, lunch—anything to meet her elusive gaze, to no avail—then classes before a well-deserved break, practice again, cafeteria and a good night's sleep. It was pleasant to have an established routine, a steady but regular one that allowed everything to be done in order without forgetting priorities or small moments of pleasure. For example, watching an episode of Fullmetal Alchemist after the third alarm, spending lunch getting dirty looks because of their loud laughter, winking at Sumin, lying on the bags in a corridor hoping not to bump into a teacher and playing PUBG after classes. All the little things that made a day a good day.

But it felt bizarre. Actually, Minjoo already missed waking up to a few lovely pictures of Chaewon showing off her outfit of the day or complaining about her hair or the practice schedule. It felt weird to be in the cafeteria without her smirking or cocking an eyebrow, and it was even weirder not to talk candidly to her until the hour was too unreasonable. It was a lot of little things, really. Like not daring to send her 'hey i did a toe loop with my skates lol' or 'teacher rainbow wearing the red shirt today!' or going to their shared playlist and not seeing any new songs. They say it takes three weeks to develop a habit, and two weeks had been enough to make Minjoo feel nervous with every notification she hoped was Chaewon's. 

It wasn't as if she had disappeared, anyway. Chaewon was often around, in fact. Like Monday lunch break, eating at the table right in front of her—Minjoo couldn't eat, fearing she might get some all over herself. She was with Jimin in the hallway when they were waiting for Minjeong, and she was sitting on a blue couch in the lounge with Hyunjin, waiting for their practice. Like it couldn't get worse, Chaewon's class had to present professional projects relating to sports and nutrition, and of course, her group passed during Minjoo's class due to their Korean teacher... In fact, being away, she was so close. And she was so, so pretty in her perfectly pressed uniform, tucked into her navy blue skirt, her tie tied tightly around her neck, her cheeks as pink as her hair as their eyes met a few times. She was so pretty that the whole class had fondly laughed when she'd stumbled over a word and applauded heartily at the end of their presentation, except for the hockey player whose heart was beating too fast, just by hearing her talk. Chaewon was a sweet but cold heart, the centre's darling, and it was bittersweet to walk away from the moment she could name the skater her sweetheart, but her own heart was still too big, confused, blue.

For all that, Minjoo was ready to put her pride aside. She could do it. She would have that Friday night, but if Chaewon didn't want to make an effort either, then it wasn't that important to her, right? Why would she go all out of her way for someone who told her she'd rather let her go than be a little more understanding and patient. Chaewon esteemed communication so much, so why would she get defensive over being told what was wrong? Admittedly, in a rather clumsy way. Minjoo was lucid enough to admit that sending a picture of Yuri—her idea, snuggling to her and replying 'just a friend' after Chaewon asked who that was had not been the cleverest thing to do that night. However, that didn't change the fact that when Chaewon told her they should just stop talking, like the days of building trust on ice didn't mean anything so special to her, Minjoo felt like something building crumbled to pieces. Like that first try at an Axel Throw where the skater didn't commit and withdrew last moment before taking off, instead this time, she didn't hold Minjoo's neck to keep her balance.

-

Therefore the day went on, and Minjoo left the rink, showered, with Yena and Ryujin to rush to the cafeteria. Either Teddy had fallen asleep while earnestly pressing the air-conditioning button, or spring was increasing the temperature contrast between the rink and the gloomy but warmer weather. In any case, the three hockey players were delighted to enjoy a nice plate of hot rice. Some of the agents were cleaning the tables and setting up the chairs as the girls began their desserts, and by nine, the roommates finally settled down in their dorm room, already exhausted. 

Yena announced she was starting at ten, leaning against the bathroom door with toothpaste all over as she tried to be threatening, warning Minjoo that making a sound would get her killed. But the moody latter didn't take it very seriously, replying that she would bring a fanfare. Yena laughed before telling her it was going to be okay. Needless to say, she knew everything, and as the second best friend, it was her job to be the angel in white, telling Minjoo that she'd ed up, that Chaewon wasn't the only one at fault, that ignoring her was silly when the skater was probably just waiting for her to make the first move, again. This made the brunette reflect, obviously, except that, on the other hand, Yena was still Yena, and she thought it was hilarious to say the coast might have been clear for her if Seohan and Chaewon weren't going to end up together. Best friend thing, too, as once they were both in bed, bedside lamps on, Yena turned her head towards the bed opposite.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I've been observing her a lot—" she raised her hands innocently before continuing. "And I know you as if I made you. I think she's freaking out, and you are too. Am I not right? Man, she looks at you way too much for someone who doesn't want to see you anymore."

"She didn't say she didn't want to see me anymore," Minjoo corrected, looking up at the ceiling, sighing. She had this annoying, bad habit of cherry-picking information, and if her friends were used to it, maybe it had inadvertently contributed to this argument going on for days instead of being resolved with a smile, a joke, and rosy cheeks. "She said she'd rather spend her whole life with the annoying guy who asked for her table than breathe the same air as me."

The worst part was that when Yena giggled, Minjoo couldn't help but do the same. After all, that was why she was so attached to Chaewon and why she feared so much losing her. Was there another girl extolling communication that could make her laugh in the middle of an argument and say something so seriously preposterous? Very likely not, like they were just meant for each other. Yena was right. She was afraid of many things, of little spiders, or failing to score her goals, of being the second choice, of being an experience, of her getting bored, of her wanting her only for the attention, of everything not going well and of her disappearing from her life as fast as she appeared. Strangely enough, she couldn't find the recklessness she'd once used, as if pride and doubts were gripping her back and holding her from reaching out with an absurd excuse.

"Well, anyway, even her friends were glancing and all during lu-"

"Why are you even looking at her?" Minjoo interrupted, more in jest than actually annoyed. Decidedly, in addition to appropriating her necklace, she also took her talent for cutting people off.

"You're not for real," Yena deadpanned. "Excuse me, but who's been in love with her since day one? No, because, two months ago, you were sick of seeing Chae Nara's face all over the hallways, remember?"

"So what?" Minjoo said between laughs, suddenly remembering all the times she had called her Chae Nara. Which suited her just fine anyway. If she could, well, if she put her pride aside, she would have messaged her that right now. "I'm not the same person I was two months ago."

"No, you've become pathetic!" The brunette rolled her eyes and became serious again after a few seconds. She shifted her head to Minjoo, who did the same, reluctantly abandoning her review on the CCM's Attack frame technology, pinching her lips. Yena resumed, "I'm not telling you to chase after her either, but it would be silly for you both to keep avoiding each other when you both want to talk again. I mean, I'm sure you know she just wants you to come talk to her first."

"I don't know. The thing is... I don't know. It feels like I'm taking a test, you know?" Minjoo put her phone to the side. As the gesture became spontaneous in these few days, she grasped the gold necklace, her eyes tracing the lines of the ceiling, her fingers those of the angel. Her stomach fluttered, but it would do her good to get some of what was in her blue heart out. "Or that I'm a test. Test to see if she really likes girls, test to see if all hockey players are the same, test to see if I do what she asks, test to see if she actually likes Seohan... she's my crush or my recruiter? I would answer her message so we could talk about what’s wrong, but what was that for anyway? A test to see if I'd really leave? Or to see how many days I'd last before coming back to her? I don't know. I don't like thinking like this, you know, but it really pisses me off. She doesn't trust me with anything yet she wants me to... I mean... I don't know. I don't get her."

"I just think it's silly," Yena replied after thinking for a few seconds. "I don't really get Seohan either, though. Because if they're that friends, he would know you two are getting close, right? Or maybe she didn't even tell him about you..."

"That's the thing," sighed the brunette heavily. "Anyway, let's just sleep."

"Yep," Yena smiled despite the slightly heavier mood. "And don't forget to be quiet tomorrow."

Thereupon, they turned off their respective lights and let themselves be lulled by the distant sound of cars in the city, the machines in the pool near the dorm and the few echoing footsteps on the floor above where some students were still awake. Only, when the whole centre was asleep, when the moon and the stars had the sky to themselves, when the cars' noise was rare, in the peace of the night, Minjoo increased the volume of her music. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't, going back and forth between the conversation, where she should just send a message knowing that Chaewon wouldn't do it, and the shared playlist where she knew every song by heart now. And my hopes, they are high . She bit her lip, her heart pounding, typing something before deleting everything. I must keep them small . Chaewon was probably sleeping. Indeed, Minjoo couldn't find sleep—because for the last twenty days or so, they'd been telling each other their secrets at this hour, and now her phone felt empty, cold, but that must not have been the case for Chaewon. Minjoo didn't know anymore. She didn't understand anymore. 

She went back over the conversation, her stomach knotting as she reread the words and how some of them were absolutely absurd. It wasn't right to blame this on the fact that she was tired, let alone blame it on Yuri, but she regretted those stupid words she only used because she knew it would sting the skater. Nothing intentionally mean, nothing insulting or anything, but nasty. The other, of course, did too. Minjoo would never have said certain things if Chaewon hadn't sent a picture of her and Seohan sitting on a couch. No. Her heart wouldn't have sunk a little in her chest, struggling to answer coherently. But everything is shattering and it's my mistake . Chaewon had apologised and assured her that she understood her reaction and that it was okay to be mad at her, that it wasn't what she meant, but Minjoo preferred to run away and put back the wall of ice between them that the hours spent together had melted. Minjoo was a fool, in fact. Because she skated so fast that a single crack in the ice would be enough to send her ten metres further, frozen and soaked. Because she was falling so hard that she preferred to hang in the air rather than wait to see if she landed on hard ice or a cloud of candyfloss. Because without speed, without risk of falling, only fools fall. 

Hence Minjoo closed the app, turned the music up and took a deep breath before adding it to the playlist. Fools . Chaewon loved this singer, and it didn't hurt to try. It wasn't the adrenaline of last week nor the recklessness of earlier, but she closed her eyes, the phone burning against her chest, hoping that maybe tomorrow morning she'd get an outfit of the day and a smile across the cafeteria. She felt even more silly when she returned to the app a few minutes later, finding a new song was added too, by the same artist, The Quiet . She listened as she read, trying to understand the lyrics, and it was as if Chaewon was saying them out loud. It resonated, and she fell asleep with a heart as heavy as it was lighter than the night before. 

-

Not unexpectedly, after telling her that they were only talking so she could get her daily dose of attention, Chaewon wasn't going to forget everything in one song added to a playlist. That would have been too good to be true, honestly inconceivable. A girl can dream anyway, and knowing that the skater was listening to their favourite songs at two in the morning was enough. Enough for Minjoo to wake up at the first alarm, watch her episode early and use the remaining time to brush, dry and curl her curtain bangs, even changing her sweatpants for baggy jeans. Sleep on it, they say. This time, the night whispered to her to stop fooling around, that when two magnets that used to attract each other start to repel, it's very delicate to harmonise the poles and clasp them again. Perhaps her amazing sunbae could explain this phenomenon to her in detail, but to do that, she had to make the first move. The best advice is found on the pillow, but Minjoo came to that conclusion on her own. She was determined to put her pride aside and offer them another try, a new beginning in position to the music.

Until breakfast, when the nationals were eating by the windows, already in their skating clothes. Minjoo tried to catch her eye several times, but to no avail, not even when the four of them approached. It made her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach when she only smiled at Seohan before passing the table, staring straight ahead, indifferent, letting only her perfume and pink hair drift away towards the cafeteria doors. Minjoo sighed, feeling the knot that formed in her stomach when the skaters stood up unravel painfully, weighing down on her stomach, almost cutting off her appetite. Her frustration passed through the fork she was absently stirring in her bean sprouts bibimbap, and the knot from her stomach passed through as she looked up only to meet the captain's gaze. It was indecipherable but intense enough that she immediately looked down again, nibbling her lips.

-

Thankfully, there was Sumin to brighten up her day, which had quickly turned grey again. As they would on Wednesday lunches for some time, they met in front of the fourth floor's notice boards. The team was divided in two for these reflexology training, and Minjoo's session took place during the second hour of the break, while her closest teammates left as soon as classes were over. Therefore she took the opportunity to eat with Sumin and spend some time away from the hockey players' discussions, enjoying listening to the brunette tell things about synchronised swimming, her friends and her life in general. To be sure, she couldn't count on Sumin to recommend a hiding spot on Valorant or explain the combination of an off-ice trickshot, but it felt good to talk a little about spring, green leaves, sequined swimsuits and dramas.

They entered the corridor leading to the cafeteria. There were a lot of people already, but unlike the other times, they didn't feel the pressure to find a full table free. On the contrary, it allowed them to chat more, face to face in the queue, filling the few gaps by talking about things surrounding them like the day's menu and the Olympic selection posters. Both were concerned, and apparently, it wasn't just the hockey coaches starting to pressure them.

"I think we've rehearsed the choreography at least four times," Sumin sighed exaggeratedly, lowering her shoulders to illustrate her extreme tiredness, pouting a little. "I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I was going to drown..."

"I couldn't take it anymore," as she often did, Minjoo mimicked her teasingly. "I'll give you CPR."

And as usual, the synchronised swimmer rolled her eyes, amused, unsurprised, slapping her shoulder to take that smug look off her face. It was cute, but it wasn't like Chaewon who would put her hand on her cheek to push her away, preventing her from seeing her red cheeks and... would they turn red if she said something like that? Was it too late to find out? Then again, Minjoo grasped how something had changed in her, like a switch someone—the figure skater, had . 

"How 'bout you? Do you know who you'll be playing against?" Sumin captured her attention back with one of her sparkling smiles, and Minjoo couldn't help but gently bump her fist on her cheek as she shook her head. Yeah, a little ray of sunshine on these dull, rainy days felt good, and the swimmer must have understood that too as she encircled one of her arms, offering her another smile. "I was going to say it would be fun if we ran into each other at the Olympics, but I forgot you were for winter ones."

"That would be a bit tricky if your pool was frozen enough for us to play on it," the brunette replied, smirking. The Minjoo of five, six months ago would have disintegrated by being this close to the Bae Sumin, but now, she was just delighted of having such sweet company as a friend.

"Yeah, imagine that," Sumin chuckled. "But actually, I hope everything goes well for you guys. Our team is already qualified while it depends on the other team's score for you guys, right?"

Minjoo didn't answer straight away. The national skaters were there, farther back in the line, chatting, except for the one whose eyes met for the first time those of the hockey player who immediately turned her head. She didn't know when Chaewon arrived nor what she’d seen, but it couldn't have come at a more adequate time. After all, on her way up to the fourth floor to meet Sumin, Minjoo had seen the skater leaning against a wall, arms behind her back, giggling at whatever this guy had to say that was so funny. Puck in the middle, one-all, and the hockey player flicked the swimmer's forehead, "you got it."

"I just didn't say the name of the team to not make a mistake," giggled the brunette rather proudly.

"No, tell me now," Minjoo smirked again, crossing her arms, challenging her. Sumin was so genuinely interested in everything and everyone that it was rare for all the information to stick in her head. It was never contemptuous. On the contrary, it was rather amusing when she confused cities, competitions and gear names. Last time, Minjoo had explained the whole play-off thing to her, and her smile widened as Sumin hesitated loudly, trying to recall the details. "Just try."

"It's on the tip of my tongue," the swimmer defended herself. Perhaps because she would do this naturally, and mayhap because Chaewon was behind them, Minjoo punished her friend's forgetfulness by ruffling her bangs, instantly getting scolded. Poor Sumin would never make it through an hour in her company without ending up dishevelled, and to escape another tease, she grabbed the hockey player's fingers. "Wait! Wait, stop! It's... I know!"

Minjoo smiled a little wider, using her second hand to tousle the swimmer's hair, "What then?"

"Ulsan!"

"Ulsan!" She mimicked, and before the brunette could realise she was wrong, she was trapped by the hockey player's arm. Knowing her, Chaewon would have gotten mad—she was too serious about her hair, but apparently, Minjoo was mistaken because glancing over her shoulder, she noticed how the skater was smiling. Oddly enough, it was worse. But she didn't let go of Sumin. No, she kept an arm around her shoulders. If that made the skater smile, then it meant she didn't care as much, did it? Because Minjoo hadn't found it amusing that she was only paying attention to Seohan and spending time with a boy from her class when they were starting to ruin what had barely begun. But if Chaewon thought it was fun, then good for her. It just meant Minjoo wasn't completely in the wrong for doubting her.

She drew Sumin closer as the line moved, using her other hand to help fix her bangs, only glancing back once more, unsurprisingly meeting the chocolate rain and storm eyes she should be dreading more than her recklessness was apprising her to. Yuri, in red on her shoulder, was telling her to keep going, that Chaewon had to realise that not everything was to take for granted, that Minjoo wouldn't spend days chasing after her. On the other side, in white, Yena told her it was stupid and that her lips were smiling without her eyes. But she wasn't with either of them, so she kept her arm around Sumin's shoulder until they grabbed their tray. If Chaewon told her to go if she wasn't happy, she should just do it, right? Why hold back for someone who remained stuck in her narrative and couldn't open up to her, demanding without giving enough in return? Did Minjoo have something to prove to meet her expectations? No. She didn't really know anything about relationships and didn't want to know what kind of won her heart once to get it so frozen, but it wasn't fair to her. She hadn't done anything wrong, after all. So far, anyway. Puck in the middle, face-off and last period, Chaewon regained her cold face, and her eyes had never been so grey, more rain in them than it fell from the clouds those days.

-

Sumin was always good at giving advice. A bit like the voice of reason, in fact, taking all sides into consideration before making a fair and relevant judgement. Few people were still naturally caring, and the swimmer was one of them. Despite all her efforts to keep joking and acting casual, she noticed something was off, so the hockey player told a bit more of what was on her mind that she hadn't dared admit to her best friends. Sumin listened to her so attentively, without interruption or judgement, that Minjoo confessed everything to her, from the skater's doubts to her own. Habitually, they would relax during this break, just having a good time, but at least the discussion had been more than revealing.

"I see, I see," Sumin smiled gently, "And just because she's bi doesn't mean she can't have boy friends, Ming. Look at us."

"I had a crush on you," the hockey player grumbled, slumping in her chair, sighing for the umpteenth time. Not that the detail really mattered now, the feelings turning out to be nothing but a lot of respect and sincere friendship, but it had a point. The swimmer scolded her with her look, so she resumed. "No, but hey, she knows I'm insecure about that and she... She... I don't know."

"Isn't she insecure about that too?" As usual, Sumin pointed out the right thing, but Minjoo remained silent, frowning a little, questioning many things. "Oh, trust me, you wouldn't want to see her crying on her first gala here because this guy just wanted to flex pulling the world champion. He dumped her right before their performance and was dating a girl from his year the very next day or something. I don't know if she ever told you that, though... Wait...Sorry, Oh my-you didn't hear it from me, okay? Anyway, I'm not assuming anything but... I guess that seeing you and, well, me, like this after you… yeah.”

Oh, Minjoo was a fool. 

Her phone vibrated again. She checked it this time, instantly feeling something explode in her lower abdomen when chae1kim appeared on the screen for the first time since Saturday morning. The lump in tripled in size, her heartbeat pounding against her temples, her leg bouncing against the floor, her breath getting heavier with apprehension and excitation. But she needed to calm down first. To understand a little better. To come to her senses, to regain her balance.

Sumin summed up the situation perfectly as she comprehended it; the essence of the misunderstanding was that Chaewon was stuck in her preconceptions and apprehensions, but Minjoo couldn't give her the keys to let go of them. How could the skater finally open up if the hockey player didn't knock on the door or barely brushed it? Without daring to knock too fast or too hard? For pair figure skaters and couples, every movement, breath, look and initiative must be in harmony. Naturally, Minjoo was the one who gave the impulsion, who threw her in the air or lifted her at arm's length, but the element wouldn't be one if Chaewon didn't then spin or catch her skate above her head and make a graceful arm movement. No matter how much she wanted to jump, if Minjoo didn't hold her confidently, she would never take off enough to perform her three revolutions. And so, if Chaewon didn't look at her before she would pivot and go backwards, giving her all her trust, body and mind, then Minjoo couldn't grab her waist and hip and throw her high enough to chase the high.

Maybe they weren't together on the ice anymore, and it changed things more than they thought. Sumin was right, Yena was right in a way, Two Weeks was right, Eunbi was right, and even Chi Hyunjung was right. In figure skating, you have to feel the fall to land the next one. They needed to trust each other, communicate, be one. They had to understand each other in a glance, in a breath. She had been the one distancing herself, and she had to know when to bring the skater close to the right rhythm and harmonise. Not rushing or hurrying, even being unsure that the sequence would go well, but doing it without thinking because if they both tried and stopped doubting, it could be the most beautiful choreography, conveying the purest emotions.

And as the final piece of the puzzle depicting a snowy landscape, a frozen lake and two people skating on it while holding hands, Minjoo swallowed her saliva, opening the messages. Not a single word, two images. Her heart grew in her chest, a bittersweet smile gracing her reddened lips; it was a picture of her sleeping on the bus, sent by Seohan, to which Chaewon replied, 'wanna hug'. Her stomach flipped when she opened the second media. She felt downright stupid, like a fool, a real fool. It was the skater taking a picture of herself grimacing, the camera pointed at Hyunjin, and Seohan, both lying on a bed, pressed together, the hockey captain's hand in the skater's chestnut hair. Oh, she was a damn fool.

-

Practice was agonisingly hard that Wednesday night. Coach Oh had handed over supervision to one of the coordinators, who spent more time on the phone with recruiters and sponsors than actually coaching them. Cocho usually organised his sessions well, adapting them from one day to another so they could correspond to the points that needed to be worked on, refined, or rectified according to the game's performances and statistics. Admittedly it was strict and demanding, but it had its results. The scores of last week's playoffs were all out, confirming the predictions; Anyang Halla in the semi-finals of the Asian League against the Tōhoku Free Blades, Haneulae against the Nippon Paper Cranes. The National 3 could expect a bit of suffering over the incoming month of practices. It was about to be severe if they wanted this team to win the Asian League for the first time.

The coordinator, a former National 1 player who had also played for an American team and retired due to injury, focused the dynamism of the training session on rotating between game phases and warm-up drills. Dressed in a winter coat and gloves over his suit, he alternated between phone calls, whistles and hand clapping to set the pace. A pace so exhausting that when he finally announced a break, Minjoo collapsed on the ice, out of breath as her body stopped moving for the first time in over an hour. Her calves burned with fatigue, her feet sending electric shocks through them, her abs on fire, and to top it all off, Seohan smacked her helmet with a stick as he passed over her, glaring behind his cage, saying she needed it sometimes.

Once the torture was over, her thick helmet off, her cheeks reddened by the friction and cold, her skate blades dried and protected by the guards, Minjoo joined him. He'd been a bit distant these days anyway. If the stick move had paradoxically broken the ice, the elephant in the rink was amused to see them blushing as they walked side by side down the hallway towards the showers without saying a word to each other. Embarrassed, feeling very silly and guilty, Minjoo tried to glance at him, and the captain did the same, at the same time, making the situation even more awkward. But before he could walk through the boys' locker room door, she grabbed his arm, waiting until they were alone in the hallway to whine, "you could've told me!"

"I don't want the guys to know!" The captain defended himself, raising his voice in a whisper, shrugging his shoulders like a child victim of injustice. He was even taller, his hair wet with sweat, his helmet tied around his neck, his big round eyes suddenly shy, alert, a birthmark on his cheekbone and a golden earring... Minjoo totally understood what Hyunjin could see in him. Damn, she felt ashamed. Really, how ridiculous. "I wanted to wait a little longer before telling you, Yen and Ji, but no, little miss acting jealous over nothing, and I'm getting involved!"

Minjoo raised her eyebrows, almost offended but unable to ignore the fond heat in her chest. It was a plot twist she would have never thought of, really. "You're not serious. Do you really think we would judge you or something? What the .. I'm so happy for you-wait, how long has it been? Wait, you guys are a couple, right? He's your boyfriend?"

"Joo! Shut up," the captain gritted his teeth, dramatically bringing his gloved hand down on his face. The brunette, in turn, placed her glove over , realising that her excitement made her speak a little too loud, but she insisted enough with her eyes that the boy gave in with a sigh. "Yes, he's my boyfriend. It's gonna be two months Friday, and yes, we had an emergency meeting on whether or not Chaewon could tell you!"

"I'm so stupid," she whined, and the captain didn't even try to reassure her, nodding his head in approval. But he was right, and Chaewon was right to be just as angry with her. She'd obviously only been telling the truth all along and had no other explanation that wouldn't betray her best friend. Damn it. Minjoo felt terrible. Because she must've played with the skater's nerves with this and because she practically forced Chaewon to reveal something that Seohan preferred to keep to himself. It was stupid and selfish, terribly hasty and at the same time, she couldn't know. Seohan was hiding his game well. "I'm so sorry, Seo... I'll just act like I don't know but wish you-"

"It's okay," the captain shrugged, poking her forehead with his thick Bauer glove, finding their natural complicity that, now thinking about it, had been gone for several days. He let out an embarrassed giggle. "I'm sorry. I should have told you. Would have avoided this whole misunderstanding, but... you get me..."

"Yeah, don’t worry," Minjoo made it easy for him, knowing that just like her, Mini Cocho rarely admitted his wrongs—he would blame the ice for missing a shot. Both had gotten themselves in this mess, creating unnecessary tension and adding even more weight to the skater's heavy shoulders. But it was understandable enough on both sides. In that manner, it felt like a relief to finally stop avoiding it and talk about it... Proof communication is key, and they both learned from the bests—their figure skaters. That's what it was, relief. "But you know very well that you can trust me?"

"Trust you, yes," Seohan poked her forehead again. "But his parents are very closed, and you know, the fewer people know, the better. Mine don't know yet, and some of the guys on the team would... yeah. I'm not even that close to her, byt the way. We just on the same group chat and hang out at Hyun's dorm after classes sometimes."

"You have no idea how dumb I feel..." sighed the brunette, throwing her head back in embarrassment as much as remorse and annoyance. "And , like, I think she saw me being close to Sumin at lunch break."

"Yes, she did," Seohan confirmed, the same smile on his face that Chaewon had displayed the first time their eyes had met at that moment. In fact, that smile meant 'keep going, because you're going to feel silly afterwards' and that Minjoo should have understood if she hadn't acted like a…player? And just as the skater had done at lunch, the boy lost his smile, replaced by a grimace as he shrugged. "Look, I'm not gonna lie, I don't really know what's going on between you two. She doesn't talk much, but I've been finding out things these days. Why didn't you tell us you were talking to Kim Chaewon?"

"Keeping her to myself," Minjoo answered, rolling her eyes as she received another glove hit on the forehead. "I don't want to mess it up."

"From what my little finger told me...It's not looking good for you right now," Seohan said, shrugging. That, Minjoo guessed, but at least it was clear. "You're lucky you're like my sister because if I told her Sumin was your crush, believe me, Chaewon would have ended you. Anyway, didn't do a damn thing all week. I've got all my homework to catch up on," he took off his glove for good, ran a hand through his hair and wiggled his eyebrows, just like a big brother, before walking away without giving the other one a chance to retort. "Good luck! And tell Yena to give Intak his charger back."

With that, the boys' locker room door slammed shut, and Minjoo sighed again.

-

Sometimes doubts take over reality, and that offered her a new perspective. If Minjoo, who wasn't the type to overthink, clung to this idea that the skater couldn't be fully trusted, then, of course, Chaewon, who didn't trust herself and people enough, could also have a hard time letting go of the thought that maybe the hockey player was just like the other ones. However, in all this, Chaewon proved her wrong as best she possibly could. She'd done so while respecting her friends, trying to be fair to both, while Minjoo had been selfish. Like the music the skater added to the playlist in response last night, she didn't even care to discuss. To be sure, they wouldn't have fallen into that mess of pride and doubt if the hockey player hadn't chosen silence over words. If only she'd said something like 'I'm so happy, but it scares me because it's new, it's deep, it's as natural as it feels weird, it's you... I'd just like you to trust me the way you want to be trusted, to understand that I need reassurance too, to be patient and to tell me clearly if taking our time is a way of saying that you need more time to be sure of how you feel, or if it's for us' Was it too late, then? And after what she did with the swimmer, was it too late? No, it wasn't. 

If Chaewon had told her to stop what they had if she wasn't happy, she would have just done it, wouldn't she? She had to prove to her that, on the contrary, their meeting painted with Salchow and Toe picks had been one of the most magical things that ever happened to her. Because at first, it was intriguing, intimidating, a little risky, overwhelming, demoralising and nerve-wracking. Then it felt euphoric, pleasant, a wriggling with every heartbeat and extraordinary lightness with every breath, like the pleasure it was skating on that dangerous frozen lake. Apparently, they were made for each other, and that was why Minjoo knew things going wrong didn't mean it wasn't right. There had been more than one little argument since the beginning because they cared, but not once had Minjoo considered giving up or anything, stopping the complex choreography and going back to her simple HTC hockey player life and that wasn't going to happen now.

Why hold back for someone who remained stuck in her narrative and couldn't open up to her, demanding without giving enough in return? Because it was up to her to show Chaewon that coming out for her was worth it, that she had the right, the reason to believe in it once again. Minjoo wanted this time to be Chaewon's first, her best and her last—romantically optimistic. Did the hockey player have something to prove to meet her expectations? Yes, yes, she did, in fact. So biting her smile, she sat down on the bleachers after showering, nothing but waiting for the blue doors to open on the one who had stolen her heart and was only seeking permission to keep it warm next to hers in this cold ice rink.

-

As soon as Teddy parked the Zamboni, Jimin was on the ice, dressed in black fleece, accompanied by her coach and solo figure skaters' choreographer. As she got used to it the past two weeks, Minjoo put her headphones and slumped more in her seat, manspreading as long as Viderski wasn't nearby, one hand in the pocket of her half-zip sweatshirt, her chin tucked into the collar, wearing grey sweatpants, her sneakers tapping the front seats. She recognized that feeling of the cold air in her damp, shampoo-perfumed hair, of having to turn the volume up to beat the Junior Champion's one and fight the urge to empty the vending machines of all the chocolate bars and hot chocolate. Like the good old times, she would occasionally look up from her phone, glimpse what was going on behind the plexiglass walls, impressed by Yu Jimin's prowess, and then go back to her sports reviews. She liked Jimin and knew she was the World Junior Champion, but any skater could pull off a quintuple Axel that she'd find Chaewon the most talented, anyway.

Speak of the devil, the door opened. Her blood ran cold. A breath caught in , realising that all fearlessness was an illusion and that the second she'd see pink hair, she would melt like the thin layer of snow covering the trees on a sunny afternoon. Fortunately, it was only Eunbi, and she loosened up, though not very relaxed, as the coach walked towards her.

"Well, well, well," she greeted genuinely. "The new figure skating prodigy! Congratulations on your game!"

Trying to hide the heat coming to her cold cheeks, Minjoo replied timidly, "Thank you, Coach."

Coach Kwon smiled, "what now? Semi-finals?"

"Yeah, basically," still a little embarrassed, the hockey player took advantage of the question, trying to soothe her heart and regain her composure. Otherwise, she would only be able to roll on the floor and cry when Chaewon walked through the door. "The High 1's had a penalty so Halla took an even bigger lead in the league. I think they are two or three points ahead of us in statistics, but I don't know with Friday's game ratio. So yeah, we go to Hokkaido Saturday morning, and if we win, well... Asian League play-off final..."

"Woah..!" Eunbi sounded genuinely impressed for someone who must have merely understood a few words—Minjoo understood even less when they used the technical terms during skating practices, anyway. "Woah, that's great! Very good! We're getting there too, as you can see," she pointed to the briefcase she had tucked under her arm. "The programme and the technical elements are officially entered in the ISU challenger series. The final stretch to the Olympics!"

Immediately, Minjoo felt warm from tender and consumed with pride. It was official, Two Weeks was entered in the trophy that would, among other things, decide which couple would represent the country at the next Winter Olympics. Chaewon, Hyunjin, Eunbi, Hyunjung and the rest of the team were finally on their way to the Olympics, and if the heat of pride made her cheeks red, guiltiness spread to her cheeks. If only she hadn't been absurd, Chaewon would have told her the fantastic news, ecstatic at the thought of performing her own choreography for one of her most decisive competitions. She didn't share this moment with her...... It made her so blue that Eunbi noticed, and something also changed in her eyes. It became almost maternal as she took a small breath, clutching the documents to her chest.

"How is it between you and my champion? Still friends?" she asked, in a lowered tone, as if she were no longer talking to a student, let alone about her own student.

Minjoo felt her chest flutter, so warmed by the pride of knowing Chaewon's work was recognized that the snowflakes swirling in her lungs when she was thinking about her were now melting, turning into rain. With a heavy heart at not being able to congratulate her in person because of a silly argument, her body tired from practice, her mind tormented by the last few days, the hockey player simply shrugged heavily, looking down at her sneakers. There was no point in lying if the coach asked the question she already knew the answer for, but she still  tried, "It's fine."

"Minjoo," Eunbi tilted her head a little, flashing a smile that expected something else. However, Minjoo lifted her head, eager to hear the rest, still not daring to look at the coach but attentive, her breath short again, her lower belly starting to hurt from nervousness. The flakes began to twirl again like they never had before. "I shouldn't interfere, but... she's head over heels."

Louder than any words, a foolish smile gained Minjoo's lips, a smile that meant everything. A smile like skating at full speed on wet ice, the crowd going wild, red and blue lines everywhere, red digits announcing the last seconds, the puck in front of her, the defensemen incapable to stop her, a goalie being the only obstacle last. A smile like the one she would wear once she scored, cheered by all the supporters, jumped on and hugged by all her teammates, her name shouted, the horns honking as they celebrated the victory on that last goal. The smile she would wear once she had the cup in her hands, a gold medal around her neck. The smile that would mean she won.

And if there was no cup, no medal, not even a final yet, there was Chaewon, who was head over heels for her, and that was perhaps the most promising hope she had right now.

"Well," Eunbi trailed off, bowing her head, accompanied by one of her smiles too, the kind she'd show after they'd successfully performed a complex lift or simply the sequence of moves in rhythm and fluidity. It was as if her duty as a coach had been fulfilled. Like when she demanded chemistry and witnessed it when they didn't let go of each other's hands when the music stopped, shyly parting away when they realised. "Good luck on Saturday if we don't run into each other again! I better see you here for the final!"

With that, she left towards the meeting rooms, leaving Minjoo alone with her stick and puck, the only defensemen being her pride and how hurt Chaewon had been by her behaviour. But she wasn't afraid of anything when she played, least of all obstacles, and she was going to score that goal.

-

The atmosphere in the rink changed a little. The music of Jimin's programme was replaced by the sound of her skates sliding on the ice, rehearsing the introduction of her choreography dozens of times. And then she and her coaches left the rink, leaving Teddy on the ice resurfacer to prepare for the following session. It was a bit cooler because, despite the arrival of spring, the days were shorter, and it was dark outside at this time. According to the schedule posted in the corridors, the N1s were the last session of the day, finishing at 1 AM before heading back to the Korean International Rink, where they trained most of the time. The schedule was always accommodated for hockey, pairs and solo figure skaters. This meant that at the end of every session, another one began. Therefore Minjoo took off her earphones.

She took a deep breath of cool, even frigid air as it passed down , cooling down her whole body. The snowflakes in her lungs were comforting, perhaps not warming, but there was something quite reassuring about knowing they were there. However, at this moment, sitting in silence except for the Zamboni's engine, the small blast of the air conditioning optimising the resurfacing and the sound of her leg bouncing on the floor, Minjoo could hear nothing but the pounding in her temple and the potential footsteps in the hallway. She'd forgotten that Chaewon only came early to spend time with her and regretted not bringing a warmer jacket. Starting to shiver, her gaze flicking nervously back and forth between the doors hidden under the bleachers to her left, the time and her untied shoelaces, Minjoo tried to gather her thoughts. Maybe not to prepare a speech, but to know what to do other than looking at her and melting. Yes, she needed to talk this time. But she knew how to do that, right? Maybe not in the best way, but in the most sincere. 

Teddy began a new straight line of shuffling the old snow and smoothing the new one, Minjoo shivered once more, nervously grasped the necklace in her cold hand, and the door finally opened. Her heart missed a beat; she was there.

In warm leggings and a long-sleeved zip-up thermal top that covered her dainty hand, two braids holding a cascade of pink hair behind her back, no smile on her rosy, glossy lips, her national athletic bag around her shoulder, her second hand hidden in the pocket of her fleece. Chaewon was there like she had been every night those two weeks of practising together, as she had been every time Minjoo realised she was slowly falling for her white fleeces, pink hair and black leggings. The most beautiful, the sweetest, the coldest, World junior champion Kim Chaewon, as if Minjoo had just seen her close for the first time, except this time it wasn't intriguing or intimidating. Because strangely enough, her stomach didn't wiggle with nervousness like it did when she imagined her, no. It flipped like it did when she looked at her spinning, twirling in the air, laughing with Hyunjin... like when she thought about kissing her or saw her wearing the clothes she'd chosen for her. That feeling in her stomach, filling it with honeyed sweetness every time their eyes met and she realised how much she was really falling for her.

That feeling that came when Chaewon immediately looked away after noticing her. Oh. It was adorable because Minjoo could have sworn she saw her eyes widen before she lowered her head and instinctively moved closer to her partner, heading for the bleachers on the other side of the door. Only Minjoo stood up without thinking about it for another second, finding some imaginary strength to keep her voice from wavering as she called, "Kim Chaewon!"

It took her a second to turn around, her gaze cold, impassive, but she had no control over her rosy cheeks and the way her hand had reflexively come to her neck. Minjoo couldn't help but smile once more. Because the necklace was still around her neck, and if Chaewon didn't want it too, she would have taken it back. In fact, the skater felt the same, maybe not hoping about a goal at the last seconds of the playoffs final, but of landing that Throw Triple Axel she doubted so much. It was time to accelerate past the defensemen, guiding the puck with the stick and executing a slapshot. Goal . Time to grab her hip and waist, to meet her eyes and take a swing before hurling her up in the air for her three revolutions. 7.7 .

"Can I talk to you?" Minjoo asked.

Chaewon observed her for a moment, then Hyunjin stepped away—not without a glare—and she approached, both hands in her fleece's pockets. If it were only her, Minjoo would have hugged her and twirled her around like they were at the end of a Hollywood movie in the rain and in love. But not yet. She had to say a few things first, utter some apology and confess what she believed would warm Chaewon's heart to the point of melting the ice wall a second time.

"Be quick," in a weary tone, Chaewon rolled her eyes, following her into the doorway under the bleachers to be at a more tranquil place—hopefully, Viderski wouldn't show up. "We're late and I need to put my skates on."

Oh . Minjoo was screwed because hearing her voice after only five days made all the snowflakes twirl and waltz. She must have looked like a fool, staring at her like that, smiling, like a kid would look at his favourite hockey player at his first game. Except that Chaewon wasn't wearing a jersey, she wasn't throwing a signed puck and stick over the plexiglass. She wasn't even playing hockey... She was just standing there, waiting for her to talk. Minjoo thought even less, "I'm sorry about Seohan. I really thought that-"

"Yeah, once again assuming things," Chaewon interrupted her and crossed her arms against her chest, hugging herself.

"I know, I'm sorry-"

"Minjoo-It's just," the skater abandoned her indifferent facade, raising her eyebrows, betraying how confused she too was. , , what a fool. "It's just you did exactly what- ugh , never mind. Do you think I was joking when I said one thing wrong and it's over?"

"I know, I know," the hockey player responded, feeling the adrenaline rush just from seeing her as expressive as she was in those performance videos. "But do you really think I would let you go? Be honest. Yeah, it's only been two weeks and it's not much, yeah it's your first time with a girl so you can't be sure of everything, yes, I'm a hockey player, yeah, I know, I don’t know how to communicate the way you want me to, yes I did way too much earlier. I know you said you didn't mean it, but do you really think I'd ever want to let go of.. this , now? No, and you know it."

"I don't know," Chaewon replied, and Minjoo knew she was telling the truth since, a few hours ago, she didn't know anymore either. "I don't understand you."

"I don't understand everything either," Minjoo resumed, her heart racing with every possible emotion. "You know this is my first time being like this with someone and not gonna lie, it's... yeah . See, you're afraid I'll do or play you or whatever? Well, I don't want you to change your mind or realise this isn't what you are or something. We both have our doubts, right? You can't tell me things like that just because you'd rather not jump than mess your landing. You know that because we've done that before, right? You know I wasn't perfect, well, terrible at first, but I learned everything I needed to know so you could do your choreography, right? You understand that?" Chaewon only nodded, lowering her gaze. "What don't you understand, then? Tell me. I don't understand why you refuse to open up to me..and you? What's holding you back? No, I mean, what is it you don't understand?"

"I don't know," she breathed, keeping her eyes on the ground for a few moments. Then she glanced at her watch and sighed profoundly, "I don't know why you're so distant when I try to get close."

Oh, that's it. Minjoo got it now. She kept missing things, only to understand them later, but it was always for the better. Her heart missed a beat, and a new smile danced on her lips, then a chuckled when Chaewon cocked an eyebrow, "you’re really intimidating. No, really, I just feel like screaming every time you look at me..But you know that too, huh?"

"Yeah," the skater bit her tongue, rolling her eyes. However, she didn't suppress her smile fast enough. Minjoo noticed it well, too well, as she had to bite her lip to stop herself from acting rashly, grabbing her jaw and kissing her now. She couldn't lift the trophy without finishing the game.

"I know you said one thing wrong and it's over but..." The snowflakes swirled, making her breath short as her heart drummed against her chest. She felt her curtain bangs lightly fall back in front of her eyes. She didn't mind it, too mesmerised by Chaewon's unique beauty, who was intently staring at her, with two large eyes filled with expectation and hesitation, as if waiting for something precious to come. Minjoo took a step forward, pretty words escaping her lips before her thoughts, "just like I fell skating with those goddamn toe picks the first time, right? Yeah, give me some more time, another two weeks, remember? And I promise we'll do like... six, seven revolutions throw Axel together. Because I want to be with you. Winning, losing, falling or landing… I just want to be with you." 

The skater remained silent, looking down at her feet, nibbling on her lip. Minjoo didn't feel the snowflakes turn into rain. She saw something other than grey clouds in Chaewon's eyes when she was talking, a glint so precious she wondered what she could say or do to see it again and again and again. Chaewon needed to think things through, take her time, meditate on them, and know she was ready to act or speak before doing anything, and Minjoo now respected that. She definitely didn't take it personally when the skater sighed and briefly glanced at her, pulling the strap of her bag up over her shoulder, "I'm- Um , late."

But before she left for practice, Minjoo had to cross the blue line and skate towards the red one. Taking another step forward, she lifted her palm and cocked an eyebrow, "peace?"

Almost surprised, Chaewon looked at her hand, then at her, and as if she had no choice—her heart versus her pride, who knows, she rolled her fierce eyes again, gently placing her palm half covered by the vest against Minjoo's. Sure, they'd already held hands a hundred times for the programme, but it was as if Minjoo felt her hand against hers for the first time, like when the skater helped her get up on their first practice together, laughing. A chill, cold, and exciting shiver ran from her fingertips to her heart, and she shamelessly grinned, "still wanna hug?"

Naturally, the skater shook her head, except that Minjoo liked shooting fast. Slapshots were her little thing. She only had time to see Chaewon's eyes widen before quickly pulling her towards her without giving her a way out. There would be no words cold enough to describe the sensation in her lungs the moment her arms encircled the skater's neck, nor words sweet enough to describe the smell of her hair, the sensation of her neck, her body pressed against her. There were only warm words in the middle of this icy rink and the cold looks they exchanged all week. Warmth in her cheeks as her thoughts slowly assimilated the fact that she was hugging Kim Chaewon. The warm breathing of the latter down her neck. The warmth of her body against hers. So close that Chaewon could feel her heartbeat against her own. Warmth in her lower abdomen as the skater stopped resisting, letting her hand grip her sweatshirt to squeeze her back, positioning her head more comfortably on her shoulder. Her whole body warmed as if she'd never known cold, or as if that was all she'd ever known until she embraced Chaewon's. A burning sensation as the skater's fingers clutched a little tighter at her sweatshirt, pulling her closer.

The junior champion, the member of the national figure skating team, one of the most beautiful girls in school, unattainable, cold, a bit condescending, mysterious, the one who could fascinate the whole world in one jump... in her arms, her heart pounding against hers.

"You're so annoying," she spoke gently in a low voice, her hot breath landing on the hockey player's ear and neck as the latter shivered again, drawing her closer if possible. Now that she'd tasted the sensation, she didn't know how it was going to be possible to live without being so close to her. Yeah, how could she have been so distant when Chaewon had already tried to initiate this kind of closeness? She'd been a fool all along. And now that fool had to reluctantly let go of the one she'd fallen for, trying to grave for the night the feeling of her arms and Chaewon's warm neck, partially covered by the collar of the figure skating vest. 

But her smile and eyes, as sweet as hot chocolate after skating on a frozen lake, comforted Minjoo enough to offer her one last smile, watching as she was about to walk away, "I won the game, by the way. You know what that m-"

"No chance," Chaewon knew what that meant, of course. She rolled her eyes as she began walking away. Well, maybe Minjoo didn't deserve that one yet, indeed. After all, those few days of confusion would have never happened if she'd considered both points of view and communicated. Seemingly, she was back in the game, scored a few more points—a lot from what Chaewon hid, but she couldn't desire too much either, and she didn't want it anyway. Now, the center wanted to pass unhurriedly between the defensemen. Of course, to score, but mainly to focus for a while before shooting, making sure that the goalie couldn't catch the puck. Minjoo wanted the trophy in her hand, but she also wanted Chaewon in her arms. So, with a lovestruck smile on her face, she watched her walk a few steps away, her back straight, her pink hair nicely braided, her fruity, assertive scent lingering in the cold air, her body in black leggings and top, her bag slung over her shoulder, towards Hyunjin. He was standing against the board, already wearing his skates, waiting for her.

But she turned around and came back. This time it was her turn to act quickly—was it recklessness? Because her fingers, kept warm by the sleeve of her top, came to rest on Minjoo's now warm cheek, as they often did, but even more delicately this time. Chaewon always made her head spin. Only this time, she did it for real. Her thumb grasped her chin, enough to make her head turn slightly. She coyly smiled, using her deft fingers to tilt the hockey player's head just enough to gently kiss her cheek for a winter or a heartbeat. Except Minjoo was even more reckless than all the times before. And before Chaewon finally turned around to go and put on her skates, already late, she held her by the back of the neck, her hand sliding against the warm skin, fingers passing through her hairline. Chaewon smiled, shaking her head again, trying to say 'no chance' with her eyes, but Minjoo nodded, smiling in the same way, saying 'you sure?' , quickly passing her tongue over her lips. She's wanted to do it so much. Her gaze darted back and forth between Chaewon's eyes, how they were pretending to refuse it, and then her lips, and she didn't think any further, especially when Chaewon closed her eyes, slightly tiptoeing when Minjoo pulled her by the back of her neck for a peck. A light peck only, but it meant everything as the skater hopped away for good this time, leaving her only with a burning sensation on her lips.

-

At about three in the morning, when they had just sent each other the last message to say good night and Minjoo chose another song of their playlist to fall asleep to, the tingling sensation from the lips that brushed hers still lingering, burning, her name appeared on the screen once more. 

chae1kim

two weeks is enough tho

you had me the first time you fell bc of the toe picks actually

could say i did too kinda lol gn

And she fell asleep dreaming of the sweetest things.