The rain could’ve at least stopped while they were getting to the bus and loading their bags, sparing clothes and hair. As she didn't want to have her puffer on the bus, Minjoo only brought a hoodie she hastily took off once she was seated. She saw one of the managers running in a suit through the window, clutching a bag they must have left in the changing room, keeping his greying hair neat as best he could. Yena was wriggling around to her left, grumbling relentlessly about losing that decisive rock paper scissors game to decide who would sit by the window. The winger also took off her hoodie, and once everyone was comfortable, one of the managers communicated the driver's instructions before the bus left the Haneulae car park. 

It was almost a five-hour drive to Doekchon Ice Rink, and it couldn't be more cosy.

They were used to long journeys to away games. Despite the growing number of adherents, not every city could afford to maintain a year-round ice rink, let alone in provinces. There were several in Seoul, then Suwon, Incheon, Jeonju, Busan and others for regional divisions' clubs. It was funny, though, when some HTC team members played against their former teammates. Jiung, for example, was looking forward to the almost friendly match, as he was the only one in his Busan team recruited by the Haneulae Training Center and was greatly supported by the whole club. When they went there last season, his former teammates all congratulated him, proud to have shared hours on the ice with a future national champion.

That's the beauty of sport. It is never an exaggeration to speak of sport, teammates and local clubs as family. Whether things go well or not, people who move together on the same road and for the same goal always find the most adequate arrangements. Perhaps this was missed at the HTC, where adult referees wore suits and maintained professional relationships. In local clubs, parents, supporters, fans of the atmosphere, or simple visitors consistently carry on this warm and family-like collective spirit. For example, Minjoo and Yena had known each other since they were old enough to skate. Their families were so used to meeting every weekend for games that they ended up having barbecues when the weather was good or waffles parties at the Doksan rink bar when it snowed, sharing moments together regardless of the score and differences. 

At HTC, performance was the only thing that truly mattered, everyone knew that, and that was why their team worked so well. Because everyone from clubs all over Korea, from different backgrounds and families, got along with the same conviction; win, win and win. In elite championships, a simple handshake after winning a game meant the same as a waffle party after a victory by one group of friends against another. It showed that this player from Busan, these two forwards from the Doksan Club and the one who practised in Canada had managed to find the perfect harmony, on the same road to the same goal, achieving it. It had nothing to do with the chemistry of pair figure skaters, but it was great in its own way.

They were jerks, for the most part. They couldn't necessarily all love each other and bond genuine friendship, but when Minjoo received a travel pillow on the back of her head from Dahyeon, who was moving between the seats, a smile escaped her lips before an insult, and that said it all.

Once the bus was on the highway, fastly moving away from the centre, Minjoo set her earphones, her stomach still wiggling from an hour ago when she was with Chaewon. It was still a little hard for her to fully realise she was spending so much time with the girl she thought was unattainable, way out of her league, the one she'd never allowed herself to look at like the others did, the one who'd turned her whole life upside down in one Axel. 

When she'd accepted the proposition, Minjoo hadn't really thought about it, to be honest. Well, she had, but not thoroughly, more like a fun thing to tell the guys during lunch break like oh, by the way, I'm going to replace Hyunjin and skate with Kim Chaewon after practice, and y'all can it. She hadn't predicted skating to be so hard, the training to be gruelling, strict and demanding. She hadn't anticipated doing it for two weeks at all, and then she hadn't planned for it to end this abruptly either. And mostly, Minjoo hadn't planned on being on a bus to an ice rink with only one thing on her mind; Chaewon. Oh, she definitely hadn't planned on falling headlong onto the ice for brown eyes, pink hair and sweet smiles. But now that she had, she could only witness how her heart raced when her name appeared on her screen.

One hour had already passed since they left the Centre. Most of the boys were sleeping or playing on their phones, Yena was watching a series, and Minjoo was thinking. Thanks to the warmth of the plaid her roommate had brought, her HTC hoodie rolled up in a ball, sweatpants and socks, she was jolly comfortable. From the outside, she must have looked melancholic, her head resting against the wet window watching the wipers swish across cars with their lights on. Every now and then, she would draw a few shapes she thought were more artistic than the grotesque things her teammates did, then watch them become condensed drops on the cold window before settling back comfortably, her thoughts on fire. Maybe that was what was warming her body enough despite the humidity and temperature.

Chaewon still hadn't responded to her last messages even though classes were over, but a song was playing on a loop in Minjoo's earphones, and she was starting to lose control.

Every so often she wondered how guys could spend so much time talking about nothing but fantasies. Contrary to the reputation she was sometimes given, especially as she liked to test her game on straight girls and her friends, she wasn't the type to look down too much and act upon it. She was interested in this, but not more than that. Not more than she was interested in anime, NHL Highlights, skates reviews and three-hour videos long on astronomical theories. Yet right now, the mere idea of the skater being near her was enough to make her chest flutter. She wasn't done comparing since in one night spent kissing the Kang Seolha, she hadn't felt all the things she felt having her hands around the pink-haired girl's waist. Right now, that was all the hockey player could think about. Her, her smile, the three little scars there and how she wanted to brush them with her own smile before asking where they came from, then taste the balm she always wore. 

She also pondered how photos and videos could feed the kind of fantasies her teammates had for girls. Seolha, Sumin, Minjeong... They were gorgeous, of course, and when they posted on socials, it was cool but not exceptional either. But still, in an almost mechanical gesture, accustomed by the number of times she had done it late at night or alone on the bleachers, Minjoo clicked on her profile, then on the highlights, which she knew almost by heart now. 

She observed each mirror selfie, her eyes free to uncover as long as she wanted, her stomach wiggling. Don't start now , Chaewon still had auburn hair and was stepping back after placing her phone down on the ground, walking back to Hyunjin, medals around their neck, joined by other medal-winning skaters from the Asian Grand Prix. 9AM in Calabasas , and her phone was hiding half of her face in front of a mirror, slowly zooming in on her gaze, passing two fingers through her bangs, Mayday, showing off her outfit—low-waisted baggy jeans and a cropped cardigan showing her stomach. I love It playing with another outfit picture. Bambi as her head was slightly tilted to the side, almost cutely. The most recent one was Minjoo's favourite, perhaps because of the makeup she was wearing, making her gaze captivating, or by the magnificence of her hair in shades of light pink and white from the flash. She was gorgeous.

As if snapped out of her distraction, Minjoo ceased nibbling her lip, quickly checking if Intak was still asleep in the back seat and if Yena was still focused on her show. Oh, no one was supposed to know she was this down bad.

Anyway, Chaewon still hadn't opened her messages, recollections of the early days when Minjoo had to wait hours for a reply. So she kept looking at all the pictures and videos to pass the time. She also knew that highlight from the Asian Junior Grand Prix a few weeks ago, but that didn't stop her from looking at everything. A few clips from Bite , a photo of Hyunjin taken while he was sipping a hot drink, looking out at the white city, a video presumably taken from the hotel room showing the snow falling heavily and the two of them with medals, trophies and bouquets of flowers. Another one was for galas, the most recent being clips of the performance on Fright Song for HTC's costume gala themed, followed by a shot of them dressed as Draculaura and Cleo de Nile , hence Chaewon's pink hair and her partner's light brown. She was drop-dead gorgeous.

And annoying for leaving her on delivered again. She could have been busy, and it was something they would have to get used to anyway. It was sensational to share the passion, the love of the ice and its adrenaline, but strictly speaking, they couldn't exactly share the rink. Well, they had done so for two weeks, but now it was back to alternating between practices, with Chaewon starting hers after Minjoo's, breaking the rhythm established so far. But precisely because they knew hockey and skating remained the priority, despite the shared feelings' euphoria, everything could only go well… In theory. Because, at the moment, the rink held the N1's game and Chaewon was definitely not attending it—she already said she was threatened every time she showed up for a hockey game.

Minjoo sighed, checking her notifications one last time before locking her phone and repositioning her improvised pillow against the damp window. Cars on the highway drove through the pouring rain, spraying droplets at each acceleration. They all had their lights on while some had their wipers frantically wiping. Many were grey and black, a red one passing by every now and then or a truck wrapped in a colourful advertisement in this grey scene... All this spectacle and still Minjoo could only think, only see her. So she fell asleep on a snow-white landscape where snowflakes fall from candyfloss clouds, an angel spinning and her skating fastly on candy canes behind her, catching her landing. 

-

The hockey player woke up two hours later, her bangs a bit messed up, amused to find the loud noises she had fallen asleep to had been replaced by silence and light snores. She stretched a little, relaxing her muscles. Intak had slumped into the seats, completely laying down. Fortunately, Cocho and the coordinators didn't come to the back of the bus because sitting like that would have earned him a lot of scolding. Dahyeon had regained his travel pillow and seemed to be in a deep sleep, lending his shoulder to Jaehyuck whose glasses were sliding down his nose. Minjoo straightened just enough to see if Ryujin and Jiung were asleep. Indeed, both were wrapped in their hoodies with only the earphone wires sticking out. To think that, in less than two hours away, they would be on the ice... If Busan's players were to see them now, they wouldn't feel threatened at all. 

Suddenly, she realised her music had drifted from Dean, Troye Sivan, Frank Ocean and Exo to WJSN, and the title almost made her smile. Kiss me , yeah. Ironic when the one she was thinking of while secretly listening to this song still hadn't texted back. Actually, it wasn't that bad...was it? It was just a message, wasn't it? Chaewon must have been doing something else or resting after a long week of training. Besides, Minjoo still hadn't asked her how the first sessions with Hyunjin went, but would she get an answer before Saturday night if she asked now? Again, memories of the early days when her heart would race every time the skater sent something, only to ignore her after that. The days of racking her brain trying to decipher all the mixed signals.

Nevertheless, it wasn't like her to overthink such things. After all, Minjoo preferred hitting on hets for a reason; nothing serious, just for fun, no headaches, expectations or disappointments. Chaewon messed everything up. Even more so when the latter had admitted she was bi and...interested a few days ago, ing, even more, everything up. In fact, she messed everything up at first sight. Until that moment in the gym room when their eyes met and she could only nod, Minjoo had never felt these things for anyone. She'd fallen for Seolha because she was gorgeous, attractively pushy, and most of all, openly gay—taking the easy road, finding out she didn't like that. Good thing for sure Chaewon wasn't an easy one..! Then she had a crush on Minjeong, her classmate, because she was mysterious and pretty, and then on Sumin because of her smile and bubbly personality despite looking so reserved... all of which were visions she gravitated towards. As if they were ideas of an ideal that was somewhat shaped by what she desired to feel. Chaewon... She was actually the first person Minjoo liked for the genuine and intense connection they had created in such a short time. The proof was that, at first, she could hardly utter a word without stammering, stutteringand was caught off guard every time they got a little too close. She didn't lose only her flirting skills and sense of humour but all her senses, proving that with her, it was indeed for real, like the latter had asked in disbelief a few days ago. That was new and intimidating.

And as it was as smooth as complicated, genuine and intimidating, she quickly changed the music, said they win the race so I’m slow and I'm steady , repositioning herself against the window after Yena nudged her rib, telling her to discreetly look over the seat. Naturally, she couldn't be hers for the ride if she was talking to Seohan.

Minjoo didn't understand what could be going on between them. She knew she shouldn't worry. Chaewon had said it multiple times already, assuring her that there was nothing, but then... What secret were they sharing at this point? What could Seohan be telling her that he wasn't telling the team? A lot, possibly, but still. The team didn't know the skater and Minjoo liked each other—Minjoo knew better than to question that—but if asked, she wouldn't make a big deal out of it. It must have been super important, right? For her to prefer talking to him than her, right? Was that what it was like to like a girl questioning herself? To feel on top of the world only to be in the background when it was too real?

No. No, Minjoo wasn't like that. Her thoughts were playing tricks on her right now. It wasn't her mentality at all to invalidate others' feelings. They had discussed many more or less personal things in the last few days. However, Chaewon remained vague about this, only saying that she had been questioning for some time and that only a few other people knew about it. Everyone explores at their own pace. If the hockey player felt it since she was young, when she particularly liked the actresses in teenage movies she watched with her older, the skater had to explore it all at her own pace too. Minjoo would be ready to support her if she needed to, to be with her if doubts or fears took over, holding her down. But Minjoo was neither in love nor too uninterested to fight for someone who demanded without knowing what she wanted. Or maybe Chaewon did know, but it was still too early to admit it. Perhaps this was why she said they should take their time, enough for her to settle down, land or take off. Enough to take that final push and let her picks hit the ice before jumping, graciously spinning without falling.

Lucky charm for tonight. Minjoo's fingers grasped the necklace as the skater did all the time when she was nervous... Or rather when she doubted too much. The relief of the angel engraved on the gold gave Minjoo a feeling similar to crawling under the sheets after a long training session or drinking a hot drink after hours of skating on a frozen lake. She finally perceived why Chaewon often fidgeted with it. Oh, and she also had a clue on why she often took longer to reply. Minjoo tried to take a closer look at the golden angel, but the chain was too short. Therefore, she just caressed it with her fingers, her gaze lost on the outside. The music matched perfectly with the sky turning from dark grey to dim, thinking about her, the rain pelting the concrete road and car roofs. Her fingers played with the golden medallion as Chaewon's did when they were together, and she understood a tiny better.

The hockey player was used to superficial relationships; she guessed. She exclusively knew about these ambiguous friendships, talking all night and passing each other in the hallways without making eye contact. Even more, her best friend lived in Busan—she couldn't wait to see her—always talking through messages and phone calls. In reality, she was just too used to communicating that way, while on the other hand, Chaewon saw intimacy through contact, touch, looks, and actual communication. And she was absolutely right. She probably didn't see the harm in not texting back for hours, waiting until Monday at the lockers to talk, preferring to chat with Seohan or anyone else because she cared less. That Minjoo understood completely. Well, she was genuinely trying. But then, how could the skater demand so much without reciprocating? How could Chaewon say 'don't play ' when she was playing with Minjoo's mind and heart? How could Chaewon ask ' act, so I don't have any reason to doubt ' without listening to Minjoo's ' prove me that you really want it, so I don't have any reason to doubt '? They say love is complicated, and she was slowly starting to comprehend why.

One car passed another. Minjoo saw a little boy asleep against the window, his mouth wide open, and she shivered. It was always simple when it wasn't complicated. Yena moved a little, pulled the small blanket over their legs, put her phone away, then placed her temple on her friend's shoulder. The most beautiful choreographies are the most complex. She raised her eyebrows, suddenly seeing her reflection in the wet window, the necklace's gold colour instantly catching her eye. It was Chaewon's. Minjoo was wearing the jewellery of the girl who doubted herself so much she looked like the most confident person on earth. It was around her neck, but it belonged to the girl who aspired to produce the most beautiful and intricate choreographies on ice. To the girl lacking recklessness, seeking appreciation, afraid of failure and not enough rotations to her jumps. The girl who wasn't taking off when she wasn't certain about the landing. As Minjoo continued to look down the dark highway, her fingers around the angel, she understood even more.

In fact, this golden necklace was not really a lucky charm. It was a comfort. The skater sought reassurance when they were together, when she doubted the moment, while the hockey player doubted those to come when they were apart. Maybe Chaewon gave it to her for that reason, or maybe not. Maybe she needed a bit more recklessness and was still silently asking for it. Maybe Minjoo could have racked her brain for more minutes like she never did for anything else but the rain, the blanket's warmth, the disappointment and the fatigue from last days lulled her back to sleep. She swooped into the same soft, complicated world she was sinking into a little more with every dream and every smile.

-

The second awakening was drastically less gentle. Intak shook her shoulders back and forth, brutally tearing her away from dreamland. The coordinators knew that lifting the spirits before arriving would motivate everyone and bring them out of the dizziness caused by the long journey. However, that didn't exactly mean Minjoo had to get her shoulders dislocated by the goalie on a Pop Smoke song. She didn't even try to fight back, letting him do so if it would at least keep her from falling asleep again for the last half hour. It was comical how powerful team spirit could be. Like hibernating animals after winter, they were all awake—except for Jiung, as usual, and excited as the bus left the highway, entering the urban area of Busan.

Yena had knelt in her seat, facing the guys, apparently talking about Apex and a new skin event. With no news from the skater, even though she had planned to talk with her the whole way, Minjoo didn't even check her notifications and turned around on her seat to join the conversation, which quickly deviated to more trivial and less technical things.

Daehyeon interrupted the discussion on one of the characters' thighs by raising his hand, demanding silence. "Guys wait, who was snoring like my father?"

"Was coming from here," Jaehyuk had already traded his glasses for his contacts and giggled as he pointed at the two girls. "From there, right there."

Falsely offended, the hockey player raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms against the back of her seat, challenging the sturdy defender, "ask your mother if I snore."

The coordinators must have been wearing earplugs or been in a particularly good mood to allow them to be so loud at the back of the bus, but Dahyeon singing was the limit of their tolerance. Joo Changsuk angrily grabbed the mic to instruct everyone to shut up for the last minutes. Minjoo exchanged a look with Yena as the small grey-haired man yelled louder than the whole team combined. Finally, he ran a hand through his remaining hair before sitting down, knowing the silence hid mischievous smiles holding back laughter rather than remorse. Minjoo exchanged another glance with Yena before sitting correctly in the seat, chuckling behind her palm, just in case. Figure skaters had Viderski while they had Joo Changsuk.

The bus was quiet again, the city lights passing over their faces as the traffic moved. Minjoo pulled out her phone for the first time since waking up, her stomach flipping as she finally saw her name on the screen.

chae1kim

hiiii :)

did you sleep well? when are you arriving?

2 unread messages.

hope you got to rest:/

do your best and win for me lol☺️

It delighted her, of course, but it was... not the right time anymore. She didn't reply, instead joining the PUBG game Intak had just started. If she wanted to talk, she had four hours to do so. She'd preferred Seohan or whatever, so Minjoo preferred focusing on her iconic role as a fake sniper. Nevertheless, she took advantage of lying on top of a building in Rozhok once to check Chaewon's new messages, but the team needed her as the backup to leave the area.

chae1kim

oh hi

just text me the score when it's over

good game 🤍

And she left them on read again, her developing feelings not taking over her pride, especially as they were down to six on the map and the coordinators were starting to get busy with strategies, the rink appearing on direction signs.

-

For a club not ranked in the national league, Doekchon knew how to make the game challenging. The bleachers' few seats were filled with red supporters, and they knew how to set the mood. Busan's speciality, as Yuri liked to brag every time. She herself was sitting with her parents and sister, and as a good best friend, she betrayed her city by wearing an HTC hoodie that Minjoo had lent her once and never got back. Now, because Yuri was still a brat, she displayed red streaks on her cheeks and booed with the other supporters, especially loudly whenever player number 11 got the puck—she also clapped the loudest when Minjoo scored. Also, during the last period, the hockey player couldn't help but blow a teasing kiss after scoring her fourth goal against her best friend's hometown team. So the latter reciprocated, despite the plexiglass board between them.

The score wasn't surprising at all, but her rate was impressive enough that the center was personally congratulated by Coach Oh as she left the locker room, blushing a little, bowing before slowly following the others due to her feet numbness. Minjoo scored four goals out of six, probably making her win a few points in HTC's all-team best goal leaders, tied with N1 pro-players and Taeho. Oh she wasn’t done competing for that skater.

The two teams had planned to share a moment together after the game to celebrate the whites' win against the reds and the good relationship between partner clubs. It was no secret that all those men in suits came to scout next season's recruits, and judging by their seriousness as they studied the scoresheet, they must have found some interesting profiles.

It was reminiscent of her own recruitment two years ago now, and with her free hand, the other holding a cup of hot chocolate, she nudged Yena, "It's gonna be number eight."

"Yeah, for sure," the girl nodded. Pretty obviously, with nothing but curiosity, the two Doksan strikers observed the one they suspected was in the recruiter's sights. Jiung was arm in arm with him, happily chatting with his old teammates, like the good friends they've always been despite that 6-1 result. That’s what they loved so much about sports. Yena took her hood off her head and pulled her glasses back up after enough observation. "He's super sharp."

"Yeah," Minjoo rested her weight more on one leg, drinking half her hot chocolate in one gulp. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, and one of her sweatpants' legs was rolled up half her calf to let fresh air soothe it a little; probably not her most fashionable state, but no one was after a game anyway. "That's why you got to give it all to go N2 with me and not let him take your place."

"No one is going to take anyone's place," Seohan cheerfully chimed in, putting both arms around his star players. Less wrinkled and bubblier, mini Cocho had a lot to be proud of as the team captain once again. Under normal circumstances, Minjoo would've grabbed him by the shoulder just like Yena had just done, but awkwardness prevented her from doing so, and it was as if Seohan had noticed it too. "Everyone has their place in a team." Minjoo turned her head towards Jiung, #8 red and the Busan players, sensing very well that Seohan's was becoming more playful and insistent on her. He pulled her a little closer, towering over them by a few inches, emitting a strong scent of male body wash and deodorant, and nudged her neck, almost amused. "We're both centers, but that doesn't mean I'm taking your place or you're taking mine, right, Ming? You’re safe." Hauling her a little closer, Seohan waited to see her raise her eyebrows before resuming, nudging Yena this time. "Yeah, Changmin's profile is interesting, but that's good for you anyway, Yen. Wait... do y'all smell that too?"

As much as Minjoo wanted to roll her eyes, a smile danced on her lips as the captain dragged them to the table and served them a slice of chocolate cake. So the lucky charm had worked. In both ways, as she was playing with the golden angel, laughing at whatever Seohan and the others were saying after beautifully winning another game.

-

In the morning, Minjoo woke up to a weight purring on her chest. Every time she slept at the Jo's, Yuri's little grey cat would come and snuggle with her, pawing at her belly. She rubbed her eyes, then stretched enough for her hand to find the animal, which purred even louder as she scratched between his ears, turning on himself to find the most comfortable position. Needless to say, Yuri couldn't be trusted to wake up before noon, let alone after going out, so Minjoo went back to sleep, petting the cat, enjoying the comfort of the sheets and the smell of her best friend to console her even more. 

It had been a long night for her, quite nerve-wracking as the fatigue overtook her reasoning. Besides, Yuri tended to be a bit too direct with words—best friends thing, and asking her for advice didn't really do good. But Minjoo must have known that a pissed Chaewon had no mercy, even less so at three in the morning when, surprisingly, her answers came so fast that Minjoo barely had time to think about what to say back. In fact, to make it short, it ended on 'but if you're not happy, who's forcing you to keep talking to me? just go, i'm not going to hold you back', and even Yuri hadn't found an answer to that.

It was still raining in the afternoon as the two girls lay in bed, each on their phones, alternating between showing someone's profile and conversations to feed their two months of missed gossiping. Although they hadn't been in the same high school because Yuri moved back to Busan after Minjoo joined Haneulae, they still managed to keep up with everything. For example, Minjoo learned that their friend Lee Chaeyeon joined an agency as a dancer and that the girl they hated in Year 2 had been rejected by the boy she liked. Then they talked a bit about everything, a little about their plans for college, a lot about that guy who'd asked Yuri out for a date after school... everything that had nothing to do with the fact that Chaewon had sent 'i'm sorry' later in the night and that Minjoo didn't send anything back since then. She was too proud. The other one wasn't very fair. It had only been a little over two weeks, it was her first time being in this kind of situation , and it was way more complicated than she thought it would be. She was afraid of messing up, so now she was running away, knowing this was the worst thing she could do. Therefore, she swallowed her emotions, smiling when Yuri was gushing about this guy's ways of teasing her in class, ignoring the little lump in .