012

It has been a week or two since Sooyeon left and up until now, his eyes wouldn’t leave the door ─ thinking maybe one day she would bother knocking on that door and come back. But who is he kidding, though? It was crystal clear that it was her choice to leave and there’s no way she’ll come back anytime soon. It was clearly Sooyeon’s choice to leave and find herself and her happiness and they both know they want it to happen. He wanted her to be happy because after all, her happiness is the only thing that matters to him. He wants her happy.

Yes, he found himself in love with her with no reason. He doesn’t know when and how or probably why because it doesn’t require a reason to figure out why. The only important thing is that he loves her. Donghae let her go and maybe he loves her so much that he let her even if it kills him to see her leave. He wants her around him. He wanted her to stay but God knows she can’t and she has to do what she thinks is the best way to do and maybe, it isn’t their time yet. Sooyeon changed his life and he didn’t see that coming. All along she was just a stranger trying to get over with her hell of an ex-boyfriend and now they’re here. He didn’t expect to fall in love with her and now it happened. She was sweet and charming and she has these specific ways that attracted him. Yes, it was easy to fall in love with someone like her. She’s different from others and yes, different from Jaekyung. Probably, Sooyeon’s right about his past love with Jaekyung. That he had loved her so much that at time passes by, he just fell in love with the fact that he loves her when he’s already not ─ just loving the fact that he loved Jaekyung. But that was then and now is different. However, it would sometimes feel like they’re the same because he can’t have the girl once again.

But with Sooyeon, he feels different with her and even if she’s not around, she still manages to bewitch him and it was too easy to fall under her spell. Damn it, he’s really in love.

Living without her felt lonely again and it’s like going back to the way he used to be before. The feeling was like living in his old self once again. It felt like history repeats itself ─ like a déjà vu. Everything felt like lonesome and boring whenever Sooyeon is not around. However, the only thing that keeps him away from being like that is work. Work has been his bestfriend despite the stress he receives from it. He has become a workaholic since she left and he would do nothing but work. Well for him, it’s better to be a workaholic than to be an alcoholic. Besides, working is something productive instead of wasting his time getting wasted. He’s aware about how lonely it could get but he has to cope with it. He chose this and he chose to let her go when basically there is no other option aside from making her stay. God knows how much he wanted to make her stay but he can’t. He tried but he can’t and at the end of the day, she walked out right at that door after kissing him goodbye. He kept on asking himself if that was it. He wanted her ─ she’s all he ever wanted and he never wanted this much but he can’t have her ─ at least for now, he can’t. But it doesn’t matter if being unhappy and lonely is the prize. All that matters is that she’s happy and contented.

From two weeks to two months and as time goes by, it has been two years. Two years and Donghae just couldn’t believe how fast time could fly and he honestly knew to himself that he always lose his track of time because of his business all the time. All that he’s aware is his schedule and sometimes, the time would really surprise the hell out of him. Two years and he’s still in love with her and he would feel weird sometimes if that’s still possible but every freaking day that passes makes him love her even more even if she’s not around. Was it because her memory keeps on haunting him at night that he couldn’t sleep at times? He recalled himself suffering from insomnia just because of her. He misses her, damn much. God knows how much he wanted to see her, hug her, kiss her, cuddle with her and stay with her. He could’ve asked her to stay a million of times before but being with Sooyeon is different. He’s usually selfish but when it is about Sooyeon we are talking to, he manages to do unselfish things even if it means taking his happiness away from him.

Sooyeon is his happiness and no matter how much it kills him living without her, he somehow got used to that setup. He has been there before, anyway. He’s used being all by himself.

All alone.

Letting her go was probably the right thing to do even if it doesn’t sound good to his ears. Donghae didn’t want her to leave but for Sooyeon it was the best for her. And now, he was forced to breathe without her again and it felt like new to him again when it should be nothing new to him. He grew fond of her presence that he would always feel like someone’s missing. He even misses her cries and muffles. He misses the way she laughs and her smiles. He misses how she greets him good morning. Bottom line, he is really missing her.

Even when he’s at work, he still can’t manage to get her out of his damned mind and he doesn’t have a single idea if she’s still going to show up to him or even coming back to him. For a couple of years, he came up with a possibility that by the time she comes back, there’s a chance that she doesn’t feel the same way as his and so, he told himself to consider it slowly by slowly. Of course, a lot has changed. Even him has changed. Everything changes as time goes by and it he’s sure big time that the only thing that hasn’t change is the way he feels for her.

He’s unsure if he’s ever going to see her again but he wishes. He wishes she would come back.

He wish she would.

Why is it every damn time he falls in love with someone, they tend to walk away and leave him behind? He loved Jaekyung but she chose to his brother over him. He loves Sooyeon and by the time he had realized it, it is the time when she decided to leave. He really do love her but the thought of her never coming back makes him feel hopeless at times. He has no idea if she’s still coming back and he also doesn’t know if the love he’s feeling for her is unrequited or otherwise. Back then, she stopped from saying those words and that left him really clueless.

But why is it every time they kiss, she’s giving in and kissing back? Why did she kiss him back then? Donghae doesn’t know if that could be a valid reason to conclude that she’s feeling the same way and it doesn’t seem enough until she said so.

In the past two years, a lot of things had changed. The architectural firm he’s handling has been gaining a lot of recognition that made his brother and father really proud. In addition to that, he also became one of the hottest bachelors in the field of business. He’s that good looking and it’s pretty undeniable since a lot of the employees in their company and firm has been swooning over him. He focused on his work and gave hi everything that he couldn’t take it out of his system already. And even though, he told himself that being a workaholic is better than being alcoholic, there are some times when he just couldn’t resist drinking even just a little bit.

And because he’s missing her damn much, he had decided to stay at his parents’ mansion for a while in which his mother didn’t object at all. Mrs. Lee really loved the idea of her son staying at their mansion since it has been years since he last stayed there. Mrs. Lee was really happy that everything is in its places now in their family. The tension between her husband and her son has finally come to its end and that’s a good sound in her ears.

Sunday is family day for the Lee’s and everyone in the family should stay in the house for a day.

For Dongwoo, Jooyeon and Donghae, it means day-off and spending quality time with their parents. But for Donghae who has a lot of work to do, that day isn’t the usual Sunday. He still has tons of work to do and he couldn’t just leave it hanging.

Donghae went down wearing his three-piece Armani suit and looking so professionally with his briefcase with him. Mrs. Lee immediately saw her son and got confused why he has to work on Sunday when it is his day-off.

“Donghae-ah?” Mrs. Lee called that caught his attention. “You’re going to work?” she asked.

He nodded and tried to fix his tie again. Here comes the struggle once again. He’s not usually like this but something is weird today for him that he can’t even fix his tie. “Aish,” he muttered under his breath.

Mrs. Lee noticed him struggling with his tie. She sighed and approached her son to fix his tie. “Come on, let’s fix your tie, young man.” His mother told her with a smile on her face.

“Mom, I’m not a kid anymore,” he remarked.

His mother chuckled at her son’s remark. “Aigoo, Donghae-ah. You’re saying you’re not a kid anymore and yet you can’t even fix your tie.” She let out a small laugh and fixed her son’s tie.

“It’s not that I don’t know how, Mom. It’s just that I don’t know what got into me that I can’t focus that well.” He told her, looking bothered at all.

“Is that so?” He nodded. “Don’t worry, son. You don’t have to fix your tie for the rest of your life. Someone’s going to do it for you every day when you go to work. For the meantime, mom’s here to do it for you.” Mrs. Lee said to him while smiling at her son.

“What are you talking about, Mom? You’re tearing.” Donghae asked his mother and wiped the tears in the corner of his mother’s eyes.

“I know you haven’t found her yet, Donghae. But there will be a day that you will finally see her and she will be the one who’s going to fix your tie for the rest of your life just like what I always do to your Dad.” Mrs. Lee emotionally told Donghae.

Donghae gave his mother a faint smile. He knows what she’s talking about and he knew to himself that there will be a day that he’s going to be with someone. He was touched by his mother’s words that he couldn’t help but to give his mom a big hug.

“I love you, Mom.”

His mother teared because of so much happiness and hugged her son back. “I will always feel the same, Donghae.”

There’s always a room for common ground, Donghae.

That’s what he kept on telling himself as he tried to focus on the stacks of papers in front of him. Apparently and obviously, he can’t stop thinking about Sooyeon again. It has been two freaking years since she left but her ghosts kept on haunting the hell of him. She wouldn’t leave his mind. She wouldn’t stop running around his mind and up until now, his hearts shouts for her name.

She’s all that he needs and that’s why he wanted her to stay back then but she chose not and she doesn’t want him to do anything about it. He asked her if that’s where it all ends and she didn’t dare to answer that left him clueless and hoping that it’s not yet the end for them.

He shook his head and let out a deep and heavy sigh. His hair was running to every direction it could get. His life is disarrayed. Everything is a mess, even him is a mess. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He tried everything ─ distract himself, find himself, isolate himself, everything. He couldn’t seem to find himself without Sooyeon.

He tried everything that he could do but none of those worked and there’s only one thing that he could do but he chose not to and it’s to give up.

No, he’s not going to dare.

There’s no giving up and even if he has to wait for a million years just to be with Sooyeon, then so be it. He’s that desperate to have her and if she doesn’t come back, only heaven knows what he would do to himself.

A knock on his door was heard that caught his attention. He fixed himself and told the person behind that door to come in.

It was Dongwoo, wearing casual clothes with a bottle of whisky in his hand.

Donghae furrowed his eyebrows, confused to see his brother in the firm with a bottle of whiskey. But seeing him with that bottle, he exactly knew what he’s up to.

“Up for a drink, Hae?” his brother asked as he raised the bottle and went to get two shot glasses.

Donghae smirked and just nodded. He realized that maybe he needed a drink and a buddy to talk to since it’s been a while since he last had a drink and he totally missed drinking.

“Mom told me you went to work even if it’s day-off,” Dongwoo mentioned and sat across him as he filled both of their glasses with whisky. “I’ve been noticing that there are times when you usually go to work even if it’s your day-off. Isn’t it too stressing for you?”

Donghae shook his head as he rested his back on his swivel chair. “Not at all, man but sometimes, it really is stressing. But you know it has always been there when it comes to working so I’m just coping up with it.” He answered plainly and took a shot.

Dongwoo chuckled. “You really love your work, don’t you? You see, two years and a half ago, you’re not like this. It was actually still fancy to me that you’re… like this. You know, with that three-piece suit and working your off? You look expensive, bro.”

“Basically, there’s nothing I can do with my life but to work. You see, this is the only thing that is keeping me busy. I might as well work instead of getting wasted like what I always do before. Seriously, it’s kind of boring to just sit down and drink only to forget something or someone just for temporary.” He replied as he poured his glass and took another shot.

His brother nodded and seemed to get his point.

Dongwoo smirked and poured his glass of whisky again. “So you’re trying to forget someone, huh?”

He caught Donghae’s attention and gave his brother a look. Donghae looked at Dongwoo differently like he’s telling him not to dare say a thing through his eyes but Dongwoo was too stubborn to listen to him. Plus, Dongwoo’s the older one after all.

“Tell me it’s not my wife, Donghae. I know you used to like her. Please tell me it’s not her,” Dongwoo laughed and earned a punch on his arm from his younger brother.

“You bastard, why can’t you just get over with it?” Donghae playfully asked his brother. “It’s really not Jaekyung, of course! You can have her all of your life, don’t you worry. It’s been years since I got over her.”

“Who’s the girl you’re into, then?” Dongwoo asked. “Don’t tell me it’s Sooyeon? For goodness’ sake, Lee Donghae. It’s her, am I right?”

Donghae took a deep sigh once again and nodded. He then took another shot of whisky and checked his phone. There was nothing and it was nothing new to him. The only thing he receives everyday were client calls and messages from acquaintances ─ sometimes from Jooyeon and the rest is always from his mother.

“I know what happened but not the whole story. Jooyeon just told me that you told her that she just left and poof, that’s it! What’s the real deal, man? And do you have any idea where on Earth she is right now?” Dongwoo asked out of curiosity.

Donghae chuckled and faced his brother. “Beats me. I don’t even know if she still has a plan to go back.”

Dongwoo went to his brother and tapped his back. “You’ll see her, man, you’ll be able to see her again. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, or either the day after tomorrow, but someday you will. You just have to wait because patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait. You’ll see and you’ll understand what I’m saying when that time comes. It’s worth the wait, man. She’s worth the wait.” He advised and gave his brother a pat on his shoulder before going.

But before Dongwoo could leave the room, Donghae called him. “Thank you, man.”

Dongwoo smirked. “Not a big deal, Mr. Workaholic. And oh, before I could forget, you’re going to be an uncle now.”

“You’re such a sharp shooter, man.” Donghae chuckled. “Congratulations, bro.”

“I just dropped by to deliver the good news so if you would excuse me, my wife needs me now.” Dongwoo smiled and bade goodbye to his brother. “Mom wants me to tell you to go home early!”

“Fine!” he shouted back and went back to what he’s doing: to work.

Another drink won’t hurt, right? He asked himself as he got himself a shot glass and a bottle of scotch. He got himself used to drinking that he can handle his alcohol intake but there are times where he didn’t want to stop and just consume as many as he can. He’s not a drunkard but drinking could be his habit sometimes. Old habits die hard, as many would say. He went out of his place and went to the rooftop of the building his living in while the bottle of scotch is in his hands.

He fished a cigarette box in his pocket and lighted a stick. He’s not usually like this. He killed his smoking habit long before but he can’t help but to miss it. He needs to unwind and this is the only unwinding thing he could ever think of since his mind isn’t processing that well lately. Everything is a blur and hard to process. His work is really stressing him out plus the fact that he’s missing Sooyeon way badly is depressing him.

He puffed and closed his eyes.

He breathed in the air and tried to clear his mind. He was cursing himself for an unknown reason. He misses her ─ so much. He tried to imagine what it is like having Sooyeon with him right now. He imagined what would happen if she chose to stay with him. Earlier, he dropped by to his parents’ house to have dinner and apologized to his mom that he will stay at his place for a day or two when all along, the reason is he just wanted to be alone even just for a little while.

He stared at the cityscape in front of him and God knows how much it reminds him of Sooyeon. He had never heard anything from her since she left. She cut all the communications to everyone like she’s hiding into the depths of the ocean. He remembered how his mother kept on asking him where is Sooyeon by the time she found out that her son’s friend left. Mrs. Lee was saddened for she wanted Sooyeon for her son.

“How dare you make me feel like this?” he asked no one, not even himself as he let out a chuckle.

Even after all this time, he’s still hoping that maybe someday his love would come back someday. He got himself hoping even if he doesn’t know if he’s still waiting for her or he’s now waiting for nothing. Donghae decided to keep his hopes up even just for nothing and he will gladly take the prize in the end.

He knows that only heaven knows if she’s still planning to go back.

Only heaven knows.

He took another shot of scotch and puffed again.

Comments are appreciated so keep it coming, everyone =))) Anyways, did you guys see the OT9 version of Catch Me If You Can? It would be really nice if Jessica's still with the group but things change as time goes by. Change is inevitable and the only thing we could do is to accept and cope with it :) By the way, there are no classes today so I decided to make an update for you guys ;) Hope y'all like it and don't forget to send me your feedbacks, a-right? Lots of love.