Nichkhun had gotten his hands first on the prescription shots when the nurse had come into the consultation room with them earlier, holding onto them adamantly. He even teased Victoria a bit, threatening to call the doctor if she didn't let him do his "assignment" as daddy-to-be. He explained further that he could only execute the task the best possible way if he stayed with her. So the driver dropped by Nichkhun's hotel first, allowing him to collect his stuff, and then they drove back to Victoria's apartment. Nichkhun practically moved to Victoria’s apartment, specifically her living room couch, given that Xiao Li was occupying the extra room.

When Victoria checked the booklet in her bedroom to stick the new sonogram with the twins now, she noticed something scribbled on the space reserved for “爸爸 [papa],” right beside Victoria’s Chinese name on the one for “妈妈 [mama]” on the cover. It looked like Thai script, and she realized it was Nichkhun’s name in his native language. On the page where the first sonogram with only Noreunja was, a new note appeared: “Mommy and Daddy love you sooooo much!” in English, next to Noreunja’s name. She wondered when he had the time to do that and was reminded of how he sneakily added their selca at the back of the truck into his “diary,” which he supposedly forgot to bring to their WGM shoot during their trip to the countryside.

Evening came on the same day they got home from the check-up and it was time for the shot, Nichkhun called out: “Qian, it's time!” Nichkhun called out cheerfully at Victoria, who came over, with Xiao Li closely trailing. Nichkhun was visibly flustered when he realized Victoria’s still flat belly needed to be exposed a bit and he felt his ears fire up. “This is not the time to give in to lust, you pabo!” he told himself and tried to concentrate on the task at hand, getting one of the tiny syringes ready.

Xiao Li was standing close by, keeping a close eye on him like a dungeon keeper monitoring a prisoner. As Nichkhun prepared, Victoria felt a mix of emotions. She was touched by his efforts to be actively involved in this process, even though it was a bit awkward for both of them.

“So we need to stick it here, where Ireumi can get the most of it, per doctor’s instruction.” Nichkhun distracted himself to prevent his thoughts from going to the gutter and nervously wiped a spot on the right side of Victoria’s abdomen with a disinfecting pad.

“Ireumi?” While Victoria was momentarily distracted, Nichkhun quickly administered the injection. “Ow! Heng tong! Appo!” she interjected as she felt the painful prick from the needle.

“All done! You did it, babe, bravo!!!” Nichkhun cheerfully exclaimed and quickly put another disinfecting pad on the injection site while both Victoria and Xiao Li glared at him. “I meant, ‘baby,’ the baby, you know Ireumi, she did well. Our baby girl is very brave to take the injection.” Victoria winced as the sensation of a hundred "ant-bites" spread from the spot where the shot was administered through a wider area. Xiao Li and Nichkhun looked instantly worried so she quickly said she was ok and could handle it. Xiao Li, thinking fast on her feet, offered to get a warm compress for Victoria. While the former was preparing it in the kitchen, Victoria asked Nichkhun: “Did you just name the other baby ‘Ireumi’ like that caterpillar plushie from…?”

Nichkhun nodded, not missing the chance to comment that Ireumi was not just a caterpillar plushie. “I thought Ireumi was a boy,” Victoria continued. She could see how pleased Nichkhun looked with himself as he confidently declared: “but I thought our Ireumi back then was a girl. Anyway, now we’re having twin baby girls!”

“What if they’re both boys?” Victoria questioned him, feeling like they were back in the past, engaged in a playful banter.

“I want them to be unbelievably beautiful when they grow up! So they have to be girls and take after mommy,” Nichkhun wiggled his eyebrows at her just like the old times gone by.

“Can’t they look like me if they're boys–” Victoria insisted, trying to hide her blush at the sudden compliment from Nichkhun. “HaoRan! Look at HaoRan. Mama says he’s like my male clone…”

“Oh yeah. Then our sons will be the prettiest boys ever! We can always try again for a girl. But I still think the twins are girls,” Nichkhun declared dreamily, while Victoria was left speechless by the thought of having another baby as insinuated by him.

“Aren’t you scared bad guys will chase after them when they grow up?” Xiao Li, who had heard and understood more or less that the discussion was twin boys vs twin girls, butted in Chinese with the warm compress on hand. Victoria translated to Nichkhun.

Real fear shone for a second in Nichkhun’s eyes, to Victoria’s amusement. “Oh noooo…what if our girls meet someone like me?!??” Victoria shook her head as she put the warm compress on her stomach. 

“Then Noreunja will have to be a boy then. So he can help me protect Ireumi. Noreunja, help daddy beat up those nasty guys for your sister, ok? We’ll make sure they shape up nicely and come to their senses fast, not slowly like daddy only finally came to his senses now.” Declared Nichkhun, stowing away the syringes and the rest of the medication in the container.

“Ya, what are you teaching Noreunja now? No son of mine will become a gangster!” They ended up laughing over the matter; the pain forgotten and were looking at each other with no barriers between them, just pure happiness, the air becoming laden with awareness, when suddenly an “Ehem!” was heard. It was Xiao Li: “Remember the doctor’s orders,” and raised a quizzical brow at Victoria who quickly stood up, excused herself for the night, and disappeared into her room before Nichkhun could blink twice. Xiao Li turned to Nichkhun next. “Ni ah! You again bully Qian Qian, you die. I kill you,” and stormed off to the extra bedroom. But then the door opened again and Xiao Li added with much more menacing in her tone “Papa Song kill you!”.

Nichkhun called to let JYP know he was OK but could not reveal where he was yet or who he was with to respect Victoria's privacy. He pleaded with his hyung-mentor to trust him, simply explaining he simply “needed to protect and take care of loved ones that were more precious to him than his own life now” and he promised to practice his routines for the concert for now. He couldn't bear to leave Victoria's side, especially at a time when their twins were in a precarious condition.

Over the days that came as they waited for the next check-up with Dr. Jiu, Victoria still stayed at home to rest. Xiao Li had already canceled Victoria’s commitments. There was also bound to be a press release that Victoria would be focusing on her health and recovery but it was decided to be put off, at least until after the next checkup so as not to worry Mama and Papa Song before they were notified by Victoria personally. Nichkhun would go to the study to practice or go with Xiao Li, reluctantly leaving Victoria at home, to the studio when it was empty to prepare for the concert which was only a few weeks from now. He did promise JYP he would not neglect his duties to his group. But in between practice rounds, he would check up on Victoria, making sure she was feeling ok, getting her whatever she wanted to eat.

One night before dinner, he saw Victoria intently watching the TV and noticed her focus on the peaches being shown. Nichkhun instantly grabbed the car keys that Victoria kept in a ceramic bowl near the entrance and was gone for almost 2 hours when Xiao Li and Victoria started worrying. He came back beaming a bit out of breath, as he came in through the door, the passcode of which he now knew, holding up triumphantly a bag of the plumpest, juiciest, and sweetest peaches that he went far and wide across Beijing to find. They were well in the middle of October already, and peaches came into season 2 months ago, in summer. Another time, he was already half out the door after he heard Victoria inadvertently sigh out loud that she missed Mama Song’s beef soup, and he would've already hopped on the next available flight to Qingdao to fetch that soup from Victoria's hometown if Xiao Li didn't run faster than he did and grabbed him by the hood of his jacket. Needless to say, Nichkhun took care of Victoria very well, and even Xiao Li would admit to voting “yes” for him if he were gunning for the “Model Doting Husband and Soon-To-Be Father of the Year” award.

Still, there was this gray cloud of the twins' condition that loomed gloomily over the expectant parents, but neither was brave enough to bring up the question of “What if Ireumi's heartbeat doesn't get stronger by the next check-up, and as explained by the doctor, instead both twins end up destabilized?”. Nichkhun felt how much his default “It’s gonna OK. Don't you trust me?” sounded so lame to his own ears given the gravity of the situation and didn't know what to say to comfort Victoria, who always looked in deep thoughts, and was very worried even if she wouldn't say anything.

One afternoon, after coming home from practice, both he and Xiao Li heard retching sounds coming from the bathroom as they entered the apartment. They both rushed to discover Victoria slumped on the tiled floor, looking spent. Nichkhun quickly kneeled beside her and started rubbing her back, holding her hair for her as another run of dry-heaving took over, and she emptied her already empty stomach into the toilet bowl. After she was done, he patted her face gently with a warm wet towel and carried her in his arms to her bedroom. Xiao Li followed them with a glass of water to Victoria's room where Nichkhun propped her up on the bed. “Drink this,” Xiao Li held the glass of water to Victoria.

Victoria looked so exhausted, and Nichkhun held up the glass of water, helping her take a few sips. “Matda! Oh right! I brought home some light cookies and crackers. I read that it's good to always eat some to ease morning sickness. I’ll get them; wait here.”

Nichkhun quickly fetched the snacks from the kitchen and returned to Victoria's room. “Here, try to eat a little. It might help with the nausea,” he suggested, offering her a plate with some crackers and cookies.

Victoria managed a weak smile and took a small bite. “Thank you, Nichkhun-ssi. I appreciate it,” she whispered, her eyes reflecting both gratitude and fatigue.

Xiao Li chimed in, “Qian Qian, if you're not feeling well, you should rest. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything. I'll be in the other room, just finishing up some contract clauses.” and left the two.

As Xiao Li left the room, Nichkhun sat beside Victoria, gently rubbing her back. “I hate seeing you like this. I wish I could take away all the pain and worries,” he confessed, his voice filled with genuine concern. 

"It's not as if you could go through the pregnancy for me, could you?" Victoria stuck out her tongue at Nichkhun, trying to make light of the situation. Nichkhun smiled and pinched her cheek lightly "Kwiyeopda!"

That night, Victoria was still feeling queasy and didn't have much of an appetite. Nichkhun volunteered to cook soup for her. “You can cook kimchi jigae now?” Victoria asked to which Nichkhun nodded affirmatively. “Yep, I learned how to cook it.” His ears turned red as he added: “I wanted to re-create the version of it--the one with spam and tofu--that I missed so much.” He was looking at her intently, revealing a vulnerable part of his soul through his eyes. “Is it the same taste?” “I hardly cook kimchi jigae nowadays…” Victoria shrugged, bluffing as she was caught off guard. She took a spoonful and the hot soup warmed up her body and especially her heart to the person who cooked it for her with such care.

It was very late in the night. The shot for Ireumi had been administered; Victoria had long gone to bed to an early night as she was doubly tired from the bout of morning sickness she had never experienced before this week. Nichkhun stirred from his slumber on the couch when he heard sounds coming from Victoria’s door, which they all decided should be kept open so Nichkhun and Xiao Li would be alerted in case Victoria needed them. It sounded much like a faint sobbing, and he quickly stood up and rushed inside. “Qian? Are you ok?” From the soft glow of the bedside lamp, he could see Victoria was curled up in a fetal position, tears streaming down her cheeks and onto her pillow. “What i-i-f…wh-what if…Nno-no-reunja a-a-and I-i-ireumi? Ot-ottok-hhhae, Khun ah?” she struggled to say in between hiccuping sobs.

Nichkhun joined her on the bed, slipping an arm under her shoulders to scoop her up to him, hugging her close to his chest, hoping to comfort her with his embrace since he could barely talk; his own heart was breaking into a million pieces with the thought of losing even one of their twins, he felt he would die if they lost both. He feared he would lose Victoria as well – their babies were the only lifelines he had to hold on to her now, and if, heaven forbid, they were gone, he wasn't sure Victoria would forgive him ever. He wasn’t sure how – if at all – he would survive losing his family, especially Victoria. He carefully wiped her tears as he suppressed his own from welling up from his eyes. He swallowed the knot that had formed in his throat and said: “It’s all my fault. I'm awefully sorry, Qian.”

He kissed the crown of her head tenderly and repeatedly, chanting a desperate silent prayer for the innocent little sparks of life the love of his life was carrying right now. Then he continued: “Dr. Jiu is the best. Didn’t you say she’s well renowned in the UK and all over the world? We’re doing our best to take care of our babies, following the doctor's instructions, right? Noreunja and Ireumi are fighting hard just like us. But they need their mommy and daddy to be strong and hope for the best for them.”

Gently, Nichkhun held Victoria’s chin up slightly with his free hand and looked her in the eye in the dim light. “Dr. Jiu said the twins can feel what you feel. So if mommy is sad, they'll be sad and worried too. Can you be strong for them, Qian? I’ll be strong for both of us, I promise.” He kissed her on the forehead and reached his hand to her belly, and spread out his palm as if trying to give an indirect hug to their twins. As his hand came into contact with Victoria’s skin, Nichkhun felt another knot threatening to choke in his throat and couldn’t say a word anymore. As they lay there in the quiet room, their entwined hands on her belly, Victoria marveled at the strength and tenderness he poured into those simple gestures: it was as if Nichkhun was comforting Noreunja and Ireumi that “Daddy's here”. She nodded, tears still streaming down her face but with a glimmer of determination in her eyes.

“I'll be strong with you, Khun. For Noreunja and Ireumi,” she whispered, her voice shaky but resolute.

Nichkhun smiled, a mixture of sadness and hope in his eyes, as he kissed her forehead again. With a raspy voice threatening to crack any time, he whispered to this amazing woman in his arms: “That's my Qian. We'll face this together.” He also realized how simple yet thoughtfully laid out soothing words worked infinitely more effectively to calm Victoria during times of worry and doubt like this; they made so much more sense than the empty “Just trust me, it'll be alright.” that was haphazardly blurted out; which was his default response to her before.

Nichkhun tightened his embrace and patted Victoria’s back. He kept holding her that way, almost like rocking her to sleep for what seemed like eternity, a heavenly one. When he felt her breath start to even out, he moved to stand up to go back to the couch because his self-control was reaching its limits, having her in his arms after such a long time of missing her, feeling her body oh so close to his. But Victoria held on to the sleeve of his t-shirt, giving out a soft protesting whine. He stopped moving, and she buried closer to his chest. He was going to have little if no sleep at all tonight and acceptingly began counting “sunny side up eggs and plushie caterpillars” as he held Victoria's hand close to his heart and brought up in his mind the sonogram of their twins.