It was a few days after that incident at Victoria’s apartment. All the f(x) girls were busy in Beijing, except for Krystal who Amber and Henry were teasing by calling her a “professional free-loading bum”at Victoria’s place which annoyed the maknae. She wouldn’t tell anyone why she hadn’t gone back to Seoul when everyone knew that a recent article mentioned her being cast in a new drama and so script reading was happening anytime soon now. Something was bothering her clearly.

The guestings and promotional activities for “Heart Ramble” continued and Nichkhun was taking the role of a “xiao di di” very seriously, so much so that he had become very “hands on”. Victoria wanted to explain to Nichkhun that she needed time to process and think about what their relationship should be because whenever she tried to find time for them to discuss matters, just the two of them, he would just keep on trying to be "physically close" to her. She didn't dislike the attention from Nichkhun in fact, if she were to be honest, she'd been missing the playful interaction they started to have when they resurrected their friendship from the ashes during the filming of their drama a few months ago.

It was just that she had now proven intimate closeness with the guy would melt her brain into mush as exemplified by the kiss they shared when he first showed up with Amber and Henry at her apartment. To make matters worse, Nichkhun seemed to have made it his goal to be a totally "hands on xiao di di” with her whenever they're in close proximity. Luna was still busy with her musical runs and she and Amber would only show up once in a while at Victoria’s place.

Later that evening, after dinner, Victoria confided in Luna about her feelings.

"Sun-young ah, it's not that I don't like Nichkhun," Victoria explained, her voice laced with uncertainty. "I do, a lot. But everything is so sudden and it’s complicated."

Luna listened attentively, sensing the turmoil in Victoria's words.

"The chemistry we had before was adorable, harmless. But now..." Victoria trailed off, shaking her head. "Now, it's different. It's intense, almost overwhelming. And I can't think straight when he's around."

Luna nodded in understanding. "You're afraid."

Victoria nodded in agreement. "Yes, I am. There’s a part of me that wants to be with him, but I don't want to lose myself in the process. I know we need to talk about this, but he just..."

"He just wants to be close to you," Luna finished her sentence.

Victoria nodded, her eyes betraying her inner conflict. "I don't know what to do. I need time, Sun-young. Time to figure this out without the... the physical distractions."

Of course Victoria kept from Luna that detail about that accidental night with Nichkhun during that drama wrap up party last summer in August. Even if it was a well-guarded secret between her and him, it was proof of her weakness nonetheless. Victoria was never the type to get drunk and sleep around. With her senses about her and away from Nichkhun, she could introspect their "situationship" more level-headedly.

Their history of misunderstanding and not giving each other the benefit of the doubt first before assuming the worst after WGM years ago, had repeated itself now; with the Tiffany rumors on the internet, hadn't she simply dismissed that he was just an absolute player? Also, when he just left her that morning, she just assumed he agreed with her panicked suggestion to forget what happened between them the night before, resolving that he didn't care for her at all because she was just another warm body on his bed.

Since Victoria couldn't keep Nickhun’s hands off of her whenever they were alone together, in between breaks from the shows in the resting area or when they were being shuttled to and from locations in a private van (thankfully the driver was a trusted uncle that just laughed at Nichkhun's antics and never was the type to gossip), she was still yet to get her chance to voice out her concerns because the guy just wouldn't sit still long enough to listen to her.

Adding to all that unresolved conundrum was Nichkhun who had started dropping unexpected hints on Chinese national TV that he and Victoria might have something more than friendship. It stirred the gossip factory, producing articles that started to catch even the attention of JYP himself and got Xiao Li worried because the hate comments and backlash against her charge started to heat up as well.

Not that Victoria was one to succumb to bashing (remember how she stood her ground regarding the passing of Sulli) but when she tried to bring up the issue to Nichkhun, he would just do aegyo on her, wiggling his eyebrows, seemingly unaffected. It was undeniable that Victoria was getting annoyed now that other people around them were getting worried.

If this was Nichkhun's way of "wooing her", she didn’t like this high-handed method of his. She sighed and Luna placed a comforting hand on Victoria's shoulder. "I totally get you, unnie, communication is always key in anything. I hope you’ll be able to talk to him. But like what Amber said, don’t be too hard on him either."

Victoria nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of relief in sharing her inner most thoughts. But as she lay in bed that night, thoughts of Nichkhun lingered, her heart torn between her heart and her mind whose clamoring for reason had the upper-hand right now. If they were to be together, she was well aware that attraction or physical chemistry was indeed important, but if it was going to be for life like she wanted, they also needed to be able to communicate and understand each other as partners.

On the other side of the city, in his hotel room, Nichkhun was talking to Jun K. All of the 2PM boys, now men, were in the know of his endeavors to win the former f(x) leader’s heart. They were close like real brothers but Nichkhun, to his credit, kept that special night in August a secret. It was Jun K, being the closest 2PM member to Nichkhun currently, that Nichkhun would confide in the most often among s.

“Way to go, bro. Strike while the iron is hot – this isn’t the time for talking anymore. How long have you been both beating around the bush? Years man.” Jun K advised Nickhun.

“I really have to see this through, bro. I’ll do my best.” Nichkhun agrees.

“Vic is lovely but she seems to be the type to overthink things. She might decide on her own she doesn’t want any of this.” Jun K continued. “So you don’t want to give her the chance to overthink. Show her how strongly you feel about her, be always around her.” Jun K meant well although he could go overboard at times.

Henry, being a guy himself, seemed to think in the same vein as Jun K i.e. that skinship is the solution to everything. Amber was better because she suggested to Nichkhun that he should not leave anyone to doubt what he felt for her Vic umma, but she was only slightly better because she was a big fan of how her ex-appa (hopefully, her future real appa) would insinuate on public interviews years ago during WGM that he would like it if her umma would be his girlfriend and how he was confusing “reel and real”. Unbeknownst to her, that was exactly what Victoria didn’t like.

And that was how Nichkhun got encouraged that attacking his Qian-Qian with kisses and hugs as well as dropping “intrigue bombs” to the media, were his sure fire method of getting to his goal of making her “Nichkhun’s Qian-Qian or future Mrs. Horvejkul”.

One day, they didn't have any schedule for promotion because Victoria had photoshoots all day for Khiel's, Maniform, and her other endorsements. Nichkhun was missing her, getting worried that she was being a workaholic again. Also he learned from Amber that Victoria finished early and that she had invited Amber to her apartment to eat an early dinner. Krystal was busy shopping and would be back later that night but actually she had been avoiding prying eyes about her troubles with her bashers. While Luna had her performance for her musical run so it was just Amber and Victoria.

Nichkhun thought it was another golden opportuity and begged Amber to let him tag along to Victoria's apartment. Amber knew the lock code – thankfully, she resolved to keep it guarded as she agreed that it should be Victoria to give it to Nickhun when she had fully accepted him and in fairness to Nichkhun, he agreed that it made all sense. As soon as Victoria heard the door open, she called out "Amber?"

"Yes, unnie?" Amber responded cautiously. As Victoria's voice echoed from the bedroom, Nichkhun gestured to Amber to stay quiet.

"The lasagna will be ready in 10 minutes in the oven. Just wait for a bit. I'll just finish up here, OK?"

Nichkhun stealthily approached Victoria, who had her back on him and was engrossed in sorting the fresh laundry spread on her bed. Without a sound, he wrapped his arms around her in a back hug. She turned around in surprise but before she could react, he quickly planted a kiss on her lips. Victoria tensed, her heart pounding furiously as her brain struggled to process the whirlwind of emotions. Her body instinctively responded to the familiarity of his touch before she snapped back to reality. She felt him try to push themselves down on her bed.

Her eyes widened as she registered what had just happened. Amber almost caught them, causing Victoria to take a step back, trying to regain composure.

"Nichkhun-ssi! What are you doing here?" Victoria's voice was a mix of shock and frustration. Though it was embarrassing, Victoria was relieved for who knows what could've transpired on that bed if Amber hadn't arrived on time. Nichkhun just grinned, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"That's not funny," she retorted, avoiding his and Amber’s gaze. "You can't just barge in like this!"

“I thought we could spend some time together," he said, attempting to approach her again and it was Amber’s signal to go. “Uh, I’ll check on the lasagna, unnie.” And the giggling Amber took off.

Victoria held up a hand, stopping Nichkhun in his tracks. "Nichkhun, I told you I need space to think this through first. Every time I try to talk, you just..."

"But I've missed you," Nichkhun interrupted, stepping closer again, trying to hold her hand. “Qian-Qian…” He was pouting, doing his aegyo to Victoria’s indignance.

"That's the problem!" Victoria exclaimed, stepping away. "I need time to process things, to figure out what we are. But you keep getting physical, and it's overwhelming."

Nichkhun's expression softened as he realized the impact of his actions. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just can’t help wanting to be close to you."

Victoria sighed, her frustration still evident but her eyes were visibly softened. "But we can't rush this. I need to think clearly, and I can't when you're so... hands-on." She said quietly. She liked the confession she heard from Nickhun about missing her and wanting to be close but at the same felt defeated and deflated as well. Nichkhun, interpreting this as victory, was doing somersaults and fist pumps in his mind, thinking how effective Jun K, Henry, Amber’s advice was.

Victoria rushed outside in pretense of helping Amber with the lasagna and they all eat peacefully. Even Nichkhun was just sitting there, content with his having scored a kiss from "his Qian-Qian" a while ago and a smile plastered on his face that Amber thought amusing but Victoria thought mortifying. She didn't get to this ripe age of 36 just to become a shrinking violet because of a man, not after all the hardships she had gone through with her head up high. Plus she still had yet to give him a piece of her mind and make her sentiments known; she had to find a way to sort this mess out with her scheming "xiao di di". She was Victoria, no, she was Song Qian after all.