Moonbyul wasn’t sure why she was being summoned to Dr. Kim’s office on a day when they didn’t have a scheduled session. 

 

Moonbyul had been rather proud of that––that she was down to three sessions instead of five per week. She knew it meant progress, so why the sudden change?

 

Before she could think on it any further, Dr. Kim opened her door and gestured for Moonbyul to come in. Dr. Kim was usually smiling, but this time her smile was nearly blinding. Once Moonbyul was seated, Dr. Kim, her hands clasped together in front of her atop her desk, cleared . 

 

“Moonbyul-shi, this is one of the things that makes me happiest in the world.” 

 

“What’s that?” Moonbyul asked. 

 

“Telling you that as of tomorrow, you’re officially released from here.” 

 

Moonbyul almost couldn’t take in the words properly. Released? As in free to leave? 

 

“You’ve made so much progress,” Dr. Kim continued, “And I genuinely think you’re in a far better place. I think you’re ready to cope with life beyond these walls.” She tilted her head and looked at Moonbyul. “Do you agree with me? Because this isn’t just my decision.” 

 

“It’s not?” 

 

“No, it’s our decision. If I’m wrong, if you feel like you aren’t ready, we can talk about it. But… Well, how do you feel?” 

 

First Moonbyul felt a bit of panic––where would she go? What would she do? Just go back to her dingy apartment and job at the café? To all the things that reminded her of Sunmi?

 

No, she thought. Those are my things. Sunmi intruded on them. They’re mine.

 

She looked up at Dr. Kim, and this time with a smile on her face. 

 

“I am ready,” Moonbyul said. “I am so ready.” 

 

***

 

María wasn’t sure how to take the news that Moonbyul was being released. 

 

She was happy for her, of course. She did all the right things: smiled, hugged her, told her how proud she was of her, how happy she was for her… But that night, alone in her bed, she turned her back toward Moonbyul and stared out the window at the ever-lit parking lot. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d have a life out there, or maybe when. Dr. Kim told her she was making a lot of progress. She’d told her how much courage it’d taken to stand up to her father like that, for both herself and Hwasa. 

 

So why wasn’t she being released too?

 

The next day, she had an early morning session with Dr. Kim, hours before Moonbyul’s goodbye celebration. 

 

As soon as she sat down, the question blurted from . 

 

“Why is Moonbyul-shi leaving, but I’m still stuck here?” Right away, she realized how bratty that might have sounded and quickly added, “I’m happy for her, really, and she deserves it, but…” 

 

“But why not you too?” Dr. Kim finished. 

 

María nodded. 

 

“That’s because I think we need just a few more sessions, María-shi. Everything that happened with your father was huge. You’re processing it well, you’re truly healing, but I can’t just send you out without thinking you’re truly ready.” 

 

A smile slipped onto Dr. Kim’s face. 

 

“That’s why I want to hold onto you for just one more week,” she said. “A week from today, we’ll be celebrating your goodbye from here.” 

 

María swore she almost left her body.

 

“A-a week?” María stammered. 

 

“Yes,” Dr. Kim said. “And I know you’ve been here a while, so let’s talk about it, alright?” 

 

All María could do was nod. 

 

She was getting her wish, but suddenly she was so scared––what would she do? Where would she go? Who was she outside of these walls? 

 

She looked up at Dr. Kim. 

 

“Who am I outside of here?”

 

“You’re still yourself, María-shi. You’re still your strong, brave, gentle, and kind self. And out there, you’re going to learn even more and more about who you are.”

 

She smiled at María. 

 

“Let’s talk about it a bit, alright? We’ll make sure you feel ready.” 

 

María nodded, and began to talk. 

 

***

 

Moonbyul’s goodbye party was bittersweet for María. She knew she’d see Moonbyul again soon, but she wasn’t ready for how empty the room they once shared felt that night. 

 

She lay on the bed staring straight up at the ceiling. Hwasa sat next to her, looking at her sister’s glazed-over eyes. 

 

“You’ll see Moonbyul-shi soon,” she said. 

 

María remained silent. 

 

“You’re so close, María-ya. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re finally going to live it.” 

 

Tears trickled down María’s face. Before she knew it, she was sobbing. 

 

“I miss her so much,” María said between her sobs. “I miss her,” she said. 

 

Hwasa sat there helplessly, wanting so badly to hug her sister. She’d become used to relying on Moonbyul to comfort María in ways she couldn’t anymore, and now that the older girl was gone, she felt alone too. 

 

“I miss you,” María said, looking directly at Hwasa. 

 

Hwasa saw what she hadn’t for the past three years: raw grief. María was finally feeling it. She was finally starting to process her death. In her sister, Hwasa saw herself. She saw the hole she left behind, and she felt the void of losing María within her own heart. 

 

It finally sunk in: she was dead. She would never live the life she’d told her sister about for the past three years. What María had said in court was true––Hwasa’s future had been stolen from her. 

 

She wanted to say something comforting to María just like she had for the past three years, but she could see the shift within her sister too clearly to rely on the words she’d repeated so often.

 

“I miss you, too,” Hwasa said. Tears rolled down her face.

 

They cried until María fell asleep and Hwasa was left to watch.

 

***

 

One week later, María’s own goodbye party was almost over. Dr. Kim talked her through the last minute panic that overtook her as she thought about reentering the world. 

 

“It’ll be so different from the world I left behind,” she said.

 

“Yes, but so much of it will be the same, and what’s different is for you to explore,” Dr. Kim said. “And you’re all set with the psychiatrist in Seoul. She’ll be there to help you adjust. Your first appointment is in only two days.” She smiled at María. “You’re ready, María-shi. It’s normal to be worried, to doubt it, to question it… But you’re ready.” 

 

“Am I?” María looked up at Dr. Kim.

 

“I’m certain of it,” she said. “You’re ready to step out into the world.” She looked out the window. Dr. Kim’s window overlooked the city of Seoul. “You’re ready to live your life outside of these walls.”

 

María wasn’t sure Dr. Kim was right until she saw Wheein and Moonbyul waiting for her at the gates. She stared at them for a moment, recalling something Dr. Kim told her during her last session.

 

“He made it seem like your choice,” Dr. Kim had said. “But you were too young to know what it would mean. He lied, he used you, and he tried to take your life in his own way, but you’re taking it back.”

 

As María ran toward Wheein and Moonbyul with open arms, she felt flowers blooming within her. 

 

With each step, she felt life coming back to her.