María wasn’t exactly feeling better, but she was awake. She was eating. She was going through the daily motions of what had been her life for the past three years. Still, seeing her mother brought out that urge––the urge to just join Hwasa and leave their messed up family, their messed up lives, behind.

 

When she and Hwasa were young, they often wondered who they would be reincarnated as even though their family was Catholic. Hwasa was always more interested in the topic than María, who would rather imagine some sort of future, high up in the sky, where she and Hwasa were never apart.

 

“Maybe we’ll be something tiny and cute… Like a mouse!” Hwasa said. 

 

“I don’t want to be a mouse,” María replied, scribbling on the house she’d been drawing. “The whole point of it is to become something better, right?” 

 

Hwasa shrugged. “I guess. Isn’t ‘better’ what we think it is? Being a human is a lot.” Hwasa sighed and flopped back on her mat. “School, grades, teachers, parents… If this life is a reward for being good in a past life, it’s kind of lousy, don’t you think?” 

 

María laughed, but shook her head. “No, this life makes me happy.” 

 

Hwasa propped herself up on her elbows and looked at her sister in confusion.

 

“What? How? Just today I comforted you in the bathroom after those mean girls picked on you again.”

 

“Because I have you,” María said. “So no matter what else, I’m happy in this life because I have you.” 

 

María remembered how Hwasa had tackled her with a hug, called her cheesy, but also hadn’t been able to stop smiling the rest of the evening. 

 

María buried her face in her pillow, willing that memory to go away. Hwasa was still with her, but never the way they imagined. Not the way either of them wanted it to be. It was a cruel trick of the universe. 

 

Hwasa sat on the edge of María’s bed, worry etched into her face. 

 

“Come on,” Hwa Sa said. “You have to get going.” 

 

“Why?” María muttered. “What’s the point?”

 

“You can’t just stay in this room all day,” Hwasa said.

 

“Watch me,” María mumbled. 

 

Hwa Sa sighed. She looked toward the door, as if Moonbyul would appear just because she wanted her too, but she knew she wouldn’t. Unlike María, Moonbyul was eating in the cafeteria. 

 

“At least go wash your face,” Hwasa prompted her sister. “Then I’ll quit nagging you.” 

 

María wordlessly hoisted herself from her bed and began to shuffle toward the bathrooms. She found that after she’d gotten up and washed her face, she did feel a bit better, which she guessed was Hwasa’s whole idea. She wandered the halls, feeling a bit out of sorts even though this place had been her home for the past three years. 

 

Just as she was about to head back toward her room, she caught sight of one of the most beautiful women she’d ever seen. She had long locks of silky black hair, was dressed in the latest fashions––even María, who’d been barely able to keep up with fashion for the past three years, knew that––and had on crimson lipstick. 

 

Crimson lipstick… Why was that detail something she remembered from somewhere? She didn’t know anyone who wore crimson lipstick. 

 

“I’m here to see Moonbyul-shi,” the woman said to the nurse at the reception desk. 

 

“And who should we tell Moonbyul-shi is here to see her?” The nurse asked. 

 

“Sunmi.” 

 

María felt like someone had kicked her in the gut. She couldn’t breathe for a moment as she just stared at Sunmi. The Sunmi. The Sunmi who’d ruined the word unnie for Moonbyul. The Sunmi who broke her heart. The Sunmi who’d locked her up here. 

 

And now she had the audacity to visit her? 

 

María felt some of what Hwasa always called her “fighting spirit,” otherwise known as her “defiant streak,” come back to life in her. She hadn’t felt it since Hwasa died. 

 

After the nurse handed Sunmi a visitor’s pass and pointed her in the direction of the Common Room, María blocked the way, arms crossed. 

 

“You can’t be here.” She glared up at Sunmi, who was naturally taller than her, and especially so in the heels she was wearing.

 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Sunmi lowered her sunglasses and took a good look at María.

 

“You don’t know me, but I know you.” María furrowed her brows. “I know what you did to Moonbyul-shi. You cannot see her.” 

 

Sunmi crossed her arms. “I’m sorry, but the nurse said I could, and I intend to, so if you’ll excuse me…” 

 

She tried to walk past, but María jumped in front of her. 

 

“She’s starting to heal!” María said. “Do you really want to ruin that? After what you did to her?” 

 

Sunmi laughed. “I don’t know what she’s told you, but I’m sure it’s all a misunderstanding. I love her.” 

 

“You have an awful way of showing it,” María said. “And I’ll never let you show her your fake love.” 

 

“You know nothing about our relationship,” Sunmi said. “How do you even know––or think you know––Moonbyulie so well?” 

 

It was the term of endearment that did it for María. Before she really knew what she was doing, she was lunging at Sunmi, only to be held back at the last second by someone from behind her. 

 

Sunmi’s face went pale, and at first María thought it was because she nearly tackled her to the ground, but then she realized Sunmi was looking behind her. 

 

It was Moonbyul who was holding María back. 

 

“You don’t get to call me that,” Moonbyul said to Sunmi, her voice stern. “You don’t get to be here. You don’t get to be in my life, and you definitely do not get to harass my friend.” Moonbyul pushed María behind her, as if she were protecting her. 

 

“It’s all a misunderstanding, Moonbyulie!” Sunmi took her sunglasses off, her eyes pleading. “I left him! I left him!” 

 

Moonbyul looked Sunmi up and down for a moment. 

 

“I just needed some time,” Sunmi said. “That was all. Now we can be together.”

 

“You just needed some time?” Moonbyul laughed. “And to get that time, you had me thrown in here?” 

 

“I didn’t want––”

 

“Leave, Sunmi-shi. And never come back. Never see me again. Let’s never meet again in this life or the next.” 

 

Sunmi just stood there looking at Moonbyul for a moment. slightly agape, she looked entirely lost. But she turned around, and after throwing her visitor’s pass down on the reception desk, stormed out. 

 

Moonbyul turned to María and grabbed her by the arms, looking desperately into her eyes. 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

“Me?” María asked. “Are you okay?” 

 

Moonbyul took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. 

 

“I am, actually.” A small smile began to spread across her face. “I never imagined I’d get to tell her off, but now that I’ve done it, it feels so good.” Her smile widened until she was shining as bright as a star, living up to her name. 

 

“Are you okay?” Moonbyul scanned María, as if she were looking for any signs of injury. “You were really gonna fight her?” 

 

“I’m fine!” María tried to wriggle from Moonbyul’s grip, but she wouldn’t let go. “I’d fight anyone for my friends,” she said. 

 

Moonbyul pulled María in for a hug. 

 

“Thank you, María-ya,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

 

In that moment, after watching María protect and defend her, after telling Sunmi off herself, and now hugging María close, Moonbyul really began to feel it. 

 

She began to feel what healing was like.