The excuse I used to not let go from Hanbin was he hugged me way too tightly.

I knew it was a lame excuse, I knew I had to pull my self away, I knew this was wrong to hug him- but again, this was felt so right at the same time. His hug was different this time anyway. If before I felt safe and relieve when wrapped on his arms, now I felt so desired by him.

He didn't say anything though. But I just knew what his hidden thought behind his embrace:

Please don't go anymore.

And I knew I had passed the fine line and boundary I made for us when all I thought was the same thing. That I didn't want to him to go from me, from the close distance between us, from our intertwined body. I don't want to let go. 

"Hanbin-ah... why are you hugging me?" I finally dared to ask him. But my voice sounded so hoarse and hesitant, like I didn't really mean the question.

I heard his deeply inhaled breath from my left ear before when he said:

"So we don't get lost again."

I understood what he meant anyway. 

And I wanted to cry because the realization that bumped both of us, making me feel more dilemma between my logic and feeling. 

But my logic still won.

"I was the one who get lost, you weren't." I said and managed to chuckle a little.

He remained silent. Then he whispered, "I know you understand what I mean."

. . .

"Hanbin-ah..." I trailed off my words when Hanbin finally pulled his head from my shoulder, but his arms stayed on my waist and back. 

He stared at me solemnly, making my heart weak. "We can't be in such a denial again, Irina. You and me know both know about exactly what happened to us."

I was fidgeting, pretty much. "Please don't talk about this." I whispered with fearness embellished my voice. Hanbin smiled sadly.

"I know about what are you thinking about us, and I understand clearly about our boundaries and the consequences ahead- but we couldn't running or hiding forever from our feelings. I mean, this..." he said while resting his palm on my flushing cheek, rubbing it gently. "... is clearly the chemistry that didn't matched with something called a friendship only."

Someone please save me from here... I thought horrifyingly.

"So you don't want to be my friend, Hanbin?" I tried to ask him jokingly. Such a really bad joke but there was nothing I could pull off anymore.

Thankfully, he smirked at least. "I want to be your friend," he agreed. "But a kind of friend who is making your heartbeat rate rise every time we touch, whom you're always thinking about for 24/7, and whose heart would be claimed as yours only."

There was a firework show inside of my body, lighting my body up and creating an endlessly sparks on my stomach. Never been before a sweet words and pure confession making such a sensation on me like this. 

"Don't," I murmured. "Don't do that. Don't say that. Just don't."

"I could say and do this before, when we're locked in my room. But you were scared to me and that was making me been holding my feelings. And now, I can't do that anymore. Not after I realized you're my exit gate for the endlessly world maze of mine, Irina." he uttered.

"Hanbin, but I-"

"I don't need your answer now," he said. "I only confessed though. Damn, it feels so right to finally admit all of these feelings to you anyway. But please, you don't need to avoid me and we can still be friends. I'll bear with it, pretending like this never happen if you want- as long as I can still see your smile for me." 

My heart was pinched over and over by guilty feeling. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't feel sorry. It's no one's mistake. We're just trapped in the most wrong time, place, and situation. Yet only you- who's making all of these make sense, Irina." he muttered.

It was scary how his words perfectly matched with all of my thoughts about him.

Hanbin finally let go his arms wrapping around my body, but he still stood up closely to me. I just realized I had been averting my eyes from his face since he confessed. I looked up and saw his face- then wondered about how his smile and gaze could be seemed full of adoringly sweet.

And it gave me goosebumps when I knew it were for me.

"Don't be scared of me," Hanbin suddenly said. "I can't bear with your fear toward me."

"I'm not scared of you," I disproved him.

"Then, what are you scared of?" he asked while raising his eyebrows.

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