No One’s POV

The double doors of the waiting room burst open as seven hysterical girls rush in.

Taeyeon quickly slams the lid of the box closed, and shoves it in her pocket before anyone can see.

“How is she?” Seohyun shakes the leader, and Sunny has to pull her off.

“I don’t know. The doctors haven’t been in there for very long, but before she went in, she did talk a little. Hyoyeon’s tough; I think she can pull through,” the leader smiles, and holds back the words that Hyoyeon wanted her to tell them.

She wasn’t going to say anything, because in her mind, Hyoyeon was coming back.

“Here Jessica, why don’t you lie down?” Tiffany takes up a few seats and lets Jessica rest her head on her lap.

The girls eyes are red and puffy from all of the crying, and she has hardly spoken a word. Her eyes are glazed over, and she keeps staring off into space.

“How’s Jessica doing?” Taeyeon asks.

“She hasn’t said a word since they took Hyoyeon into the ambulance. I think she’s gone into shock.”

“I’ll go tell the nurse. Maybe they can give her something to calm her down.”

“Good idea.”

Jessica’s POV

What if I hadn’t been lazy and forced her to give me a piggy back ride?

What if I hadn’t been distracting her when we crossed the street?

What if I had just said something when I heard that noise?

Would we still be here? Waiting in the emergency room to know if the love of my life was dead or alive.

Pabo Hyo!

Why didn’t you jump?

Why didn’t you try to save yourself?

Why do you always have to be the hero?

Pabo Hyo. Pabo.

“Pabo Hyo,” I whisper unknowingly.

“Jess?”

I look up and see Taeyeon staring down at me with a worried expression.

“Come on, the nurse wants to see if you’re hurt at all.”

She grabs my wrist but I jerk it away.

“Who the cares if I’m hurt Tae?! This wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t been worried about me being hurt! This wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me! God damn it!” I fall to my knees and continuously punch the cold tile floor. “It’s all my ing fault!” I curl up into a ball and let my tears form a puddle on the ground.

“Jessica! Jessica!” Tiffany shakes my body and forces my face near hers. “Look at me Jessica!” I shut my eyes tight and continue sobbing violently. “I said look at me Jessica!” She forces me up from the ground and slams me into a chair. “Don’t you ever say that again Jessica! Do you really think she would want you out here screaming about how things could be different? About how you could have done this or what if this had happened? Well you’re wrong. She loves you Jessica. Do you think she would regret this? Do you think she would be upset that you’re the one out here and she’s in there fighting for her life? The Hyoyeon I know would rather die than see you in pain like this! How do you think seeing you cry makes her feel? She did this for you so know you need to do something in return. Smile that smile that she fell in love with. Pray for her safety and stay by her side because she needs you. She needs all of us. We’re her sisters and you’re her girlfriend. All we can do for her now is let her know we’re waiting for her to come back. Got it?”

“Ugh I, I… I got it.”

“Good,” Tiffany huffs and takes a seat near the window and far away from me.

Hyoyeon, if that’s all I can do, I’ll do it. I’ll sit here until I see your v-shaped smile again. Until that graceful figure is mine to wrap my arms around once more. When I can bury my head in that long blonde hair and breathe in that scent that makes me feel so safe I’ll be able to smile. I’ll smile for you because you always say that my smile takes away your pain. Even though I’m hurting, I’ll do anything to make you happy. I love you Hyoyeon. Please hurry back. I feel so empty without you by my side. Even though it’s been only hours I feel like you’re gone. Gone from my life forever. Don’t leave me Hyoyeon. Please don’t leave me. When you aren’t here, my heart doesn’t know what to do with itself. Until you’re safe and healthy and in my arms again my heart will be silent. Without you, my heart has no reason for beating.

Hyoyeon’s POV

They say that when you’re about to die that your entire life begins to flash before your eyes. That you get to relive every glorious moment, every embarrassing scene, every heartbreaking action, everything that combined to make you who you are. So when the scene begins to replay one of the happiest moments of my life I assume it must be the end.

~

“Hyoyeon!” I hear the members calling me but I ignore them.

Who are they to try to comfort me anyway?

I hop onto my motorcycle and head to the only place I’ve ever been able to find any comfort, the dance studio.

The rain has gotten worse and the droplets pelt me harshly like small rocks against my skin. The roads are slick but I still drive well over the speed limit because I need to get there that badly. 

Within minutes I reach SM Entertainment. I reach into my jacket pocket and take out the set of spare keys I’ve had since debut and unlock the door. I consider turning on the lights but decide against it. I don’t want to alert anyone that I’m here. Instead I use the light of my phone to guide me down the familiar empty corridors. My footsteps echo throughout the building reminding me of how truly alone I am in here.

Alone… How long have I been feeling this way? Has this always seemed like such a lonely path? A path where I have to exemplify perfection. Where I always dance with every bone and muscle in my body until my sweat drenches the stage and I almost faint from exhaustion. Why do I have to work so hard and still my popularity is so low? One little mistake and they all find their reasoning to turn against me once again.

Why do I feel so unloved when the crowd chants SNSD?

I angrily shove open the studio door and the noise resounds through the building like a gunshot. I huff in annoyance and turn on the only light I’ll be needing. I plug my phone into the speaker and turn the volume up full blast. I bop my head and tap my foot to the music to catch the rhythm.

When I’m upset there is no routine. Nothing is scripted or learned when the emotion takes over my body. I just dance because dancing is what I feel like doing. No one watching me, judging me, putting pressure on my already fragile psyche. In this room I’m not the Dancing Queen or Korea’s number one female dancer. I’m just Kim Hyoyeon. The kid with a passion to dance and who would do anything to perform on stage. To have the crowd scream her name as she effortlessly flowed with the music. To not be judged by her looks or her voice but by her talent and hard work over all these years.

Does the crowd really want talent and skill or just another pretty face?

I feel the anger, the hate, resentment, sadness, insecurity, and doubt roll together and build the moves that power the dancing machine of Kim Hyoyeon. My heart is beating rapidly and the sweat is already beading down my forehead and creating pools along the wood floor.

It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to dance like this. Not with skill but with emotion and raw power. I miss this. I miss this feeling of being loved, even if it’s just by myself.

The song starts over and I begin again but suddenly I find myself on the floor. I clutch my ankle and cry out in pain.

This is all your fault damn it! If you hadn’t twisted during my solo I wouldn’t feel like this! I wouldn’t have yelled at them! I wouldn’t have stormed out of the apartment in the middle of a storm to come comfort myself like a ing loner!

But I know that none of what I said is true. Even if I hadn’t fallen on stage I would feel hated. I would still have these insecurities, these doubts, and I would still harbor this sadness.

Who am I trying to fool? I know my place in the group. If someone has to be on the bottom I’m glad it’s me. I couldn’t stand to see any of them go through the same thing, especially not her. I’ll bear this pain as long as you stay happy Jessica. I just wish I could tell you how I felt.

I try to get up from the floor but I instantly fall back down again.

“Aish!”

! I think this is worse than a sprain.

“Hyoyeon?” I hear someone call from somewhere down the corridor.

!

I cut the lights and manage to crawl to the darkest corner of the room before the door swings open.

Sica?

“Hyoyeon?” She calls.

Her voice saying my name makes my spine shiver and a warm feeling enters my stomach.

“Kim Hyoyeon, I know you’re in here so answer me!” She walks farther into the room and I can see she’s completely drenched.

She went looking for me in the rain? How did she know I would be here?

“Hyoyeon please come out. I know you’re hurt. We’re best friends Hyo, I know it’s not just your fall earlier that’s bothering you. We promised we’d be here for each other. Well, here I am, so where are you?” 

I hear her choking in breaths and I can tell she's crying.

So she came because, she was worried about me. Don't cry over someone like me Sica. I'm not worth it.

“Sica,” I call and a smile dances across her lips.

“So you really were in here,” she comes over and helps me up from the floor.

“Appa!” My ankle bends under me and I fall into her arms.

“Whoa!” She holds up my weight and I silently thank her. “Hyo you’re hurt?”

“No I’m fine. Here I don’t want you to catch a cold,” I limp over to the bag I keep here and pull out a towel.

I wrap it around her until I know that every inch of her body is covered. She shivers under my touch and I hug her to give her some of my warmth.

“I’m sorry Sica. Because of my stubbornness you had to come looking for me in this weather. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“Hyoyeon don’t change the subject let me look at your ankle.”

“Jess I’m fine really I… Appa!” She grabs my ankle and the suddenness makes me cry out.

“See you aren’t fine. Just let me have a look,” she gives me one of her HellSica glares and I instantly comply.

I try to limp to the bench on my own but she slides under me and gives me her support. I blush madly and hide my face so she can’t see.

“ do you have a fever too?”

Oh my god she saw.

“I’m fine Sica. It’s just a little warm in here.”

“Sit here for a second,” she sets me down on a bench and heads into the hallway.

I massage my ankle to soothe some of the pain but it hurts even more. After a few minutes Jessica comes back in with the first aid kit.

“Here,” she places my foot on her lap and I flinch slightly.

“Hyo?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not really good at this stuff.”

I immediately burst into laughter.

“Why would you offer if you couldn’t help?” I laugh.

“I don’t know I just wanted to help I’m sorry,” she whines.

“Come on let’s just go home.”

“But you’re still hurt.”

“It’s fine. Beside we need to warm you up.”

I intertwine our fingers and she helps me back down to my motorcycle.

“I’m driving,” she insists.

“Sica.”

“No buts Hyo. And when we’re back home you’re going to apologize for storming out like that. And then me and you are going to talk about this.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And Hyoyeon? I just want to let you know that without you we wouldn’t be here. Please don’t leave again. I need you.” She looks away and my heart skips a beat at how lovely she looks.

Even drenched in this rain she looks like a goddess and I can't take my eyes off of her.

With those words, for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel alone anymore. Her smile takes away the pain I've been hiding and makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. I know for a fact now, Jessica Jung has stolen my heart.

~

I hear people calling me but I can’t seem to open my eyes. It feels like a heavy weight is placed on my chest and making it harder to breathe. I can feel my heartbeat slowing then going too fast and almost stopping. I can’t feel the pain anymore but for a while I wanted to die. I just want it to be over. But I want you to know I’m trying Jessica. I’m trying so hard to come back to you. But if I can’t, if I don’t ever come back, please forgive me. I love you so much.

No One’s POV

After several hours in the waiting room the doctor finally passes through the operating room doors. Taeyeon, being the only one awake, sees him and wakes the others. Jessica immediately runs to him and the others soon follow.

“Tell me Hyoyeon is okay,” Jessica grabs the man’s jacket and his eyes widen in shock.

“Jessica unnie calm down. Doctor is she okay?” Seohyun asks.

“Well girls, there’s good news and there’s bad news.”

So what'd you guys think? Sorry if It's not that great. Normally I spend more time on this but I was running late this weak. By the way the fall is made up to show how Hyoyeon felt about Jessica before they started dating and also to reveal some of Hyoyeon's insecurities about being in SNSD. (It's not the fall on Dancing With the Stars 2) In the next chapter find out what happens to Hyoyeon and I'll see you next Saturday. Comment, subscribe, criticize, romanticise, and see you next time. ~AfterSNSD