“Yuri...pwede ba tayong mag-usap?” Jessica whispered to herself, not wanting the latter to hear anything she just said. Her motionless legs stood from where they are standing and refused to take a single step closer to Yuri’s pace. Maybe it’ll be better this way, it’ll be better for her not to witness the desperation in her face, wanting those attention she craved for days.

Perhaps it was a wrong move to follow her when she obviously left the room not wanting to see any of her lingering presence, maybe she should have stayed at home, minding her own family while Yuri and their friends are here, exchanging farewells. Hindi naman talaga siya dapat nandito, dahil hindi naman talaga siya imbitado. It was a bit late for her to realize what she did, but atleast Jessica was still able to send her off without her even knowing it. Jessica broke another smile for her, it was a bittersweet feeling to witness nothingness from the latter, she didn’t take a single glance nor even look at once, and just like that, the young woman acted as if their eyes never met after some time.

She thought, this time, it’s gonna be for real. This time, she would really need to forget about those beautiful years they spent, they shared, and they loved together. This time, Yuri will no longer try to work things out for them. At hindi pa pala ‘yon ang magiging pinakamasakit, it is the way they ended just like this, ito na pala ‘yon, tapos na pala talaga tayo, ito na yung closure na kailangan ko para sa sarili ko.

It was so great...to see you again...Yuri. Hindi na siya nagtagal sa kinatatayuan niya, at nagsimula nang maglakad palayo sa dalaga. That was it. That was the end of it. And she couldn’t be more proud of herself for not crying infront of her woman. She knew Yuri had enough of it already, Yuri was so tired of seeing her crying, bawling as if she was the victim, neither Jessica can fathom the idea of it. She also had enough of herself; it’s been forever, it’s been a routine even she, wants to break.

Tiffany, out of nowhere, caught her right at the moment. She had been looking for over an hour now and thank god she found her walking lifelessly at the garden. Isa na namang mukha ng nabigo ang nakita niya, walang lungkot at bahid ng luha ang mga mata nito, at wala ring ngiti o mga tawa sa mga labi niyang ganon pa rin hanggang ngayon. Hindi siguro sila nag-usap, hindi siguro siya nakapagpaalam sa kaibigan, at hindi na siya magtataka pa kung ang isasagot lang din sa kanya ni Jessica ay oo hindi pa rin sila nagkita.

“I believe hindi kayo nagkita? I believe hindi ka niya hinarap? I believe hindi mo rin siya sinundan? Tama ba?” Her voice was almost mocking the out of Jessica, and all she could do right now was give her a death glare, because at the back of her mind, Tiffany was right. She didn’t do anything, like how she always did.

“Hindi, sumunod lang ako, pero hindi ko pa rin siya kinausap, parang hindi ko pa siya kayang kausapin. Sana pala talaga hindi na lang ako nagpunta, she doesn’t even look like she was pleased to see me here.” Funny how she was still able to say that when she knew all along Yuri wouldn’t like it when she’s around just right now, at the exact failed moment.

“Of course, hindi naman talaga siya matutuwa na nadito ka, ang plano diba hindi ka naman talaga magpapakita? Sabi ko kasi sayo, keep the distance eh nasa may pinto ka pa talaga pumwesto kanina.” Tiffany really had the guts to blame it on her when she was the one who started it all. Either way, kasalanan pa rin naman nila pareho, sarili lang nila ang pwede nilang sisihin dito.

“Wow sorry naman, kasalanan ko pang nagkita kami kanina, if you didn’t convince me to come with you edi sana nananahimik na ‘ko sa apartment ko ngayon.” Tiffany scratched her head, wala na siyang kawala sa sinabi nito, it was indeed her fault to tell Jessica what Yuri as well as their friends forbid her to do.

“Well uhm, now that you know she’s leaving, what does it feels like to see her after some time? I mean to be completely honest last niyo na ‘yon... are you going to be okay after this?”

“Ewan ko, pero wala naman akong choice. I have to be okay, I have to look okay, life must go on pa rin kahit wala na kami. Actually, pinadali na niya nga eh, pinadali na niya para sa’min, especailly sa’kin.”

“But wouldn’t it be harder for you dahil alam mong mahal ka pa naman niya, pero hindi na lang talaga pwede?”

“Hindi natin alam kung hanggang kailan niya ‘ko mahal o hanggang kailan ko pa rin siya magagawang mahalin. Alot can happen in a span of days or weeks or even months, hindi natin masasabi kung mahal pa ba niya ko ngayon, o bukas makawala hindi na ulit.”

“Are you saying you’ll finally try giving Kris a chance? For real na ba talaga kayo nito? You’d officially start a family with him?”

Jessica remained silent, whatever her response was, she will just keep them to herself. And Tiffany didn’t bother asking for the second time though, her vague silence was enough for her to know the latter’s answer. She even had to excuse herself a few moments after a call interrupted their conversation, saving Jessica from telling her the truth. Very timely of him to call around this hour, and very timely of him to look for her now.

Not to mention Yuri, who was at the other side of the garden, knew all along Jessica had followed her, she knew Jessica wanted to bid her final goodbye, and she knew Jessica, did her best not to stand any closer. Hindi na rin niya ginawang harapin ang dalaga dahil magiging mahirap pa para sa kanila ang magkita bago siya umalis sa makalawa. Ang bigat pa rin pala niya sa paa, na kahit ilang beses na siyang naglakad palayo sa kanya, ilang beses tinaboy ang mga pasasalamat at pasensya, mabigat pa rin palang talikuran ang taong minsan mong minahal, inalagaan, at binigyang halaga.

Naisip niya na minsan, magkaiba ang dalawang salitang akala niya pareho lang; yung bigat at yung sakit. Mahirap man dalhin, pero sa wakas hindi na sila kasing sakit ng dati, hindi na kasing sakit noong unang beses niyang tinitigan ang mga litratong nakasabit sa dingding, iniiyakan ang mg alaalang pwede pa sanang ulitin, binabalikan at pinapakinggan ang mga tawag na sana pwede pang marinig, dahil sa wakas, mahirap man dalhin, pero sisimulan at tatapusin niya ang mga araw na hindi na siya iisipin

Hindi na sila iisipin, hindi na sumasagi ang pangalang palagi niyang binabanggit, at habang tumatagal ang pagdaloy ng panahon, hindi na siya ang kanyang laging bukambibig. Sa wakas, mabigat man sa dibdib, ang mahalaga hindi na sila kasing sakit ng dati.

“Nag-usap kayo?? So did you tell her na aalis ka na for good?” Why on earth does this woman never stopped asking Yuri about the said matter? Sooyoung was overly worried for them, when there was nothing to be worried about in the first place. This time, it was Hyoyeon who answered on behalf of her silent bestfriend.

“Taena ang kulit naman kasi nito, sinabi nang hindi nga sila nag-usap, hindi niya hinarap si Jessica! Ilang beses ba uulitin ha?” But Hyoyeon only recieved a death glare from Sooyoung, at para na rin sa ikatatahimik ng kaluluwa ng kaibigan, sumagot na lang ulit si Yuri para sa kanya.

“That’s it, ano ba kasi gusto mong marinig? Ako nga dapat nagtatanong sa inyo kung bakit siya nandito eh.” No one had spoken who the culprit is, either one of them knew who did it, both of them told her about it, or no one in between actually said anything, Yuri was quite certain, it was the last choice.

“Eh sino pa nga ba? Edi ang bestfriend ni ate ghorl mo.