Yves

 

      "What if you had a crystal ball that could predict your future?" Chuu asked.

 

      Yves sighed. "I'd choose not to ask anything."
 

 

     " Just thinking about campus life made me happy..."

 

     "There were things I wanted to do,"

 

      "Like walking on a spring day,"

 

 

      Yves inhaled deeply and smiled as she enjoyed the walk under the cherry blossom trees on a beautiful spring day. The weather was perfect, it matched perfectly with her mood.

 

    "Having lunch between classes, "

 

    "And taking a nap in the afternoon, "

 

    "All those little things... Would be done with Haseul making it more special."

 

 

     Yves was beaming with happiness as she held Haseul's small hands in hers, they would occasionally stop to take pictures of each other. They were having a good time just being dorks together.

      Haseul would kiss Yves' cheek as the taller girl holds the phone, taking a selfie of them together.

     They would have lunch together between classes and the shorter girl being the mom that she was, would feed Yves and wipe the crumbs off the side of , she would also scold Yves to eat slowly or to swallow the food before talking.

     Yves would peacefully take a nap on Haseul's lap as the short haired would use her small hand tl shield her from the afternoon sun, with soft Loona playlist playing in the background.

     They were all perfect times back then, but only vivid memories of them remained.

 

 

****

 

 

 

      "You're taking this class together after you broke up?!" Chuu asked, shocked.

      "Keep it to yourself, Chuu, please" Yves pleaded desperately. "Don't tell anyone, especially those in class." She paused for a second. "I don't want it to get to Haseul, okay?" She said softly, voice breaking slightly at the mention of her ex's name.

       Chuu looked down, blinking rapidly and trying hard to resist the tears. She didn't want to let Yves know about her feelings. The girl trusted her enough to reveal who her crush was and she wasn't about to break her trust just like that. If she couldn't have Yves the way she wanted to, she could at least keep their friendship because she really enjoyed the girl's company, just being around her made her happy.

      "Okay." she met her crush's eyes, they held so much gratitude and she couldn't help but smile softly.

     Yves checked her watch, frowning. "Are you okay with going back to the dorm by yourself?"

     Chuu's smile dropped and she looked down again, nodding sadly.

      "Chuu? Are you okay?" her soft voice and hypnotizing hazel eyes held nothing but pure concern and it was tugging on the smaller girl's heart strings.

       "I'm fine! I'm... Totally fine." She faked a smile. But it didn't last long, as her lips quivered and her eyes became glossy.

     "What it is?" Yves leaned down, searching the girl's eyes.

      She wished nothing more than for the girl who has been invading her thoughts to just drop her question because seeing her so concerned about her only worsened the pain. The pain that she had unintentionally caused.

     And it didn't help that the girl was so close to her face that she could barely breath properly.

     "It's... Nothing." She mumbled, tears threatening to stream down her cheeks. Please drop it, please.

      As if on cue, the white cab came in the older girl's sight, successfully distracting her from their conversation.

     "Oh! There's the cab!" Yves waved the driver over. The red haired girl released a long shaky breath she didn't know she was holding. The girl opened the door in the back for her and quietly entered. "Get home safely." She waved. Chuu waved back emotionlessly.

      The taller girl waited until the cab was out of her sight before heading back to her own dorm.
 

 

 

       Yves peeked through the glass door to the class she recently signed for before getting in, and she felt her jaw drop when she noticed a certain short haired goddess staring right back at her. The girl quickly tore her gaze away, focusing instead on the professor. Yves looked down, smiling to herself like an idiot before looking back up. She soon felt a presence behind her, so she turned around so fast she almost snapped her neck.

     There stood a small red haired girl staring curiously at her, she was so cute and resembled a penguin, it made Yves feel soft even though she had never seen her before.

     She smiled nervously. "I missed the timing to go in."

 

*
 

 

 

     "When we want to say something important, we want to say it in person. Why is that?" Mr. Wong began, searching the class for any possible answers even though it's a rhetorical question. "It's because we want to see their facial expressions. If it's over the phone, you can't see those things." He observed the students quickly jotting down notes. "That's why your speech is very important."

      "With this phone call assignment, we will practice speaking." He paused once again. "Keep these two things in mind. Number 1: ask appropriate questions. Number 2: relate to the other person." The professor noticed one student in particular spacing out, so he approached her and leaned over the desk.

     "Yves-ssi" He called for her attention, snapping her out of her train of thoughts. "What did I just say?"

     Yves felt her nervousness escalating from being the center of attention. She tried to recall what the professor was saying but her mind was blank. . She really didn't know. She was barely paying attention. "Uh... Ask appropriate questions and..." Yves trailed off, not really having much to add.

      Chuu acted quick upon sensing her partner's discomfort. She raised her arm, offering to answer instead. "And relate!"

     Mr. Wong smiled widely, giving her a thumbs up, laughing as she did a small victory dance. Yves casted a glance behind to Haseul, who seemingly didn't pay her any attention. "Let's try practicing with this phone call. After all, well begun is half done."

     "Oh! One last thing. Before you begin, think about what kind of conversation you want to have. Okay?" He then dismissed the class with a small smile.

      There were a few thank you's and a few claps here and there before the students started filing out of the room. Haseul was the first one to leave followed by her partner, Vivi, Yves noticed. Are they going out together or what? Is there something going on between them? Does Haseul probably like her? Is that why they were kissing?

 

    "Yves unnie!"

     "Hello?"

     "Knock knock?"

      Chuu's last attempt in getting the senior's attention was successful as she finally tore her gaze away from her short haired crush, focusing on the penguin like girl. "what?"

     "Let's talk on the phone later."

      "Phone...?" Yves was puzzled. Why does she suddenly want to talk on the phone?

      Chuu pointed her index finger towards the board where their assignment from moments ago was written.

      "Empathetic Expression Phone Call Practice"

     When did all this happen?

      Yves was too busy having her daily dose of Haseul-filled thoughts to notice.

     "Oh..."

     The sophomore observed her partner. She did look fatigued, now that she thought about it. Is she getting any sleep at all? Chuu wondered.

     "Sorry, I'll call you." She said quietly.

      Chuu shook her head disapprovingly before gathering her things and leaving Yves to her thoughts. She was worried about the older girl but maybe she needed some time alone to sort her feelings out, and she didn't want to disturb her so she just quietly left.

 

 

      "It was that day when my future became uncertain."

 

 

      Yves could only remember the remaining memories of the night she was sat on one if the stools in front of her ex girlfriend on a chill night, they had decided to take their minds off things with a few rounds of drinks.

      "How can I do another year?" Haseul ran her hand through her hair in frustration. It was pretty obvious that she was going through a lot and Yves felt vulnerable because she didn't know the exact reason of her girlfriend's stress. She could only offer a warm smile. "Want to do it with me? I'll join you! I'll do it too!" She offered.

    Haseul stared deeply at her girlfriend, and even though Yves was much taller, she felt so small under her intense gaze.

     "Are you crazy?" She stared at the girl as if she had grown two heads. "Ugh whatever." She gripped her head with her small hands. Yves hated this. She hated feeling helpless. She hated how she could do absolutely nothing for the girl she loves the most. Her chest tightened.

     She quickly got up from her seat, sitting on the one beside her girlfriend and holding her warm delicate hand in hers. She wrapped her free arm around the smaller girl's shoulders, allowing her to lean on her. It didn't last long though, as haseul quickly regained her composure and got back up and away from her grip. She felt helpless.

 

 

     "It was then when I realized that she might not feel the same way about me, about us."

 

 

     Yves could only stare helplessly as she watched the love of her life slip from her grip.

 

*

 

     "Haseul, congrats on starting college!" Yves said enthusiastically.

      They were at the same bar they used to go to since the beginning of their relationship.

      "Yves," Haseul's voice sounded empty. It lost the emotions it used to have whenever the smaller girl addressed her. Her tone was cold, it lost the warmness it one used to have. Yves' heart sank. She kind of had an idea of what was was coming next, but she still clang to the small pit of hope left in her that maybe Haseul wanted to tell her something else.

     She didn't. She said the words she afraid of the most and nothing could've ever prepared Yves from the excruciating pain of heartbreak. It was unbearable.

     "I can't do this anymore." Her voice sounded dead, and her voice and Yves could hear her heart shattering.

      It was as if haseul stabbed her right in her heart-

      She blinked, taken aback. "W-what?" she was hiding something. Yves had to know, she just had to. Maybe she could save whatever they had. "Is there something wrong, Haseul?"

      Haseul only stared back, with the same emotionless expression. "I'm off." She grabbed her bag and stood up. Yves quickly grabbed her wrist, stopping her dead in her tracks.

      "What's the matter, Haseul? Talk to me." She demanded stubbornly.

      - then it felt like haseul twisted the knife inside her before harshly pulling it out-

      "I want to break up with you. It's better that way."

      Yves let her go for a moment to process the words that felt like thousand knives piercing through her heart. "Why?" She dared to ask. "Why do you say that out of the blue?"

      - only to stab her again-

     "It's not out of the blue!" Haseul snapped.

      They stared at each for a few seconds, which felt like hours of pain to Yves.

     "Then since when?" Her voice was shaky. "And what's the reason?"

    Haseul bit her lip, avoiding her eyes.

    She felt defeated. She couldn't speak anymore because she was sure nothing but a squeak would come out of , so it was up to Haseul. She could either explain or leave with no closure.

     After a few moments of silence, she spoke up quietly, softly, almost whispering the words. "You would never understand what I have gone through."

     - And just like that she was gone, leaving Yves to die slowly and painfully.

 

*
 

 

      "Haseul unnie!" One of the underclassmen called the girl who was walking out of the department. "The guys are buying us drinks, Eunwoo sunbaenim is coming too! Join us." One of the girls said.

     Yves stopped midway, listening closely.

     Haseul shook her head. "I have plans." She politely declined the offer before leaving.

     The other girl rolled her eyes. "She always says that."

     "She's probably going to see her sugar daddy."

     The girl gasped. "I thought she was gay? Does he pay her to sleep with him or-"

      Yves quickly marched towards the table they were sat on. "Hey, don't you realize you're in front of the library? Keep it down, brats."

     The girls were stunned, and the bravest of them whimpered out a small "okay" because the Yves has just addressed them. One of the hottest seniors around campus has just spoken to them.

     She then rushed to the elevators, only to find her ex right there waiting with her head down. Despite Haseul harshly pushing her away, she still cared. She hated seeing her getting treated like this so she did a little something that could hopefully make her smile at least. 

 

      Yves: hey remember that soccer mom from loona?

 

      Yves watched as haseul fished her phone out from pocket, reading her text. She swore she could've seen a small smile of amusement tugging on the corners of , one that lasted almost half a second before Haseul shook her head and put her phone back. Yves quickly typed another text.

 

     Yves: hey remember that soccer mom from loona?

     [Seen]

     Yves: she became a meme icon lol

 

     Haseul checked the text once again then put her phone back inside her pocket.

 

    Yves: hey remember that soccer mom from loona?

 

    Yves: she became a meme icon lol

 

    [Seen]

 

    Yves: btw i know college is tough but pls take care of yourself okay? Tell me if you need anything.

    Yves looked up again, and she couldn't help but feel disappointed as Haseul didn't bother to check her last text. She simply ignored it and went inside the elevator. Yves smiled sadly.

 

*
 

 

    Lip paced back and forth nervously. She didn't know what to say to Jinsoul. She had practiced a few lines a million times but she wasn't satisfied yet. She ran back to the mirror, taking a deep breath.

     "Jinsoul sunbaenim, what do you usually do on weekends?" She tried to make her voice steady as much as possible, but she didn't really trust it.

     However, she didn't know that Jinsoul was having the same problem. That she was also staring at her reflection in the mirror, trying to find the right words to use.

      As if the universe was turning their lives into some romance movie, both girls picked their phones at the same dialing each other's numbers only to find the other line busy. So they decided to text each other at the same time, somehow. Talk about synchronicity.

 

     Kim Lip: are you busy right now?

    Jinsoul sunbae: you seem to be busy right now, Lip-ssi... I'll call you later.

 

 

     After what might've been hours of planning, Jinsoul finally called. It only rang two times before Lip picked up, as if she has been waiting for a while now with her phone in hands (yes she was, she even fixed her hair before actually picking up even though it was just a voice call)

 

 

      "Tell me, Jinsoul. What do you usually do on weekends?" Lip asked after a while of silence. She mentally praised herself for remembering the small mirror practice she did earlier.

     "Ah... I usually just spend my time building Gundam models and listening to Red Velvet." Jinsoul answered in her adorable slow speech. Her voice was kind of raspy and it made Lip have not-so-straight feelings. What was she doing to her?

"What about you, Lip-ssi?"

    The brunette smiled. "I just spend it cleaning and fangirling over Chungha..."

    "Right... I heard there's an upcoming concert next week. Are you going?" Jinsoul asked curiously.

     "I don't have enough money..." Lip trailed off. The blonde could sense her sadness over the phone and it made her heart ache for some reason.

 

 

     Jinsoul learned that Lip's birthday was a couple days before Chungha's upcoming concert, and a sudden idea popped up in her head. She quickly headed to a certain website, smiling softly. Even if she only knew the girl for less than a week, she found herself wanting nothing more than to make her happy in any way, just to see her beautiful smile.

 

*

 

 

 

     "Unnie... You asked me not to tell anyone, but it's obvious." Chuu said. She was laying on her back, hugging her penguin plushie while talking to Yves on the phone.

     "Huh?"

     "The way you stare at her the whole time... It's obvious that you're still not over her, unnie." Chuu stated, pouting.

     "Oh..."

     The red haired turned to fthe direction her phone was at. "Tell me, what's on your mind as you look at her?" She asked curiously.

     "Just a bunch of things..." Yves paused to do the same. "There were many things I could do with her if she was here, I just didn't expect to break up with her. It came so suddenly"

     "I guess you really liked her." Chuu commented.

     "I did. I just wonder, what did I do wrong? I keep blaming myself. I thought I tried my best but I guess it wasn't enough..." The senior trailed off, voice thick with sorrow, searching her mind for any possible reasons but then snapped her eyes wide open as she realized something. "Wait why am I telling you this? I'm sorry, Chuu"

     "No it's okay. You needed to let it out like this." Her partner reassure.

     "I have to go."

     "Wha-" Yves hung up before she could even finish her question. What the hell? Where is she going at this hour?

 

 

 

     Yves found herself back at the bar drinking, trying to forget but she only seemed to remember more of those painful memories.

     The old man, the owner of the bar, approached her table with a tray full of food.

     She got up from the stool, bowing in respect. "Mr. Lee! You didn't have to give me food..."

     Mr. Lee shook his head. "You looked hungry, dear. You  don't bring her here anymore..."

      Yves could only smile sadly.

      The senior picked up her phone, going through the albums and looking at the pictures of her and Haseul. She focused on the latest picture, scanning both their faces and heaved a sigh. While she was smiling and feeling as energetic as ever, Haseul was staring blankly at the camera, not even bothering to pose.

 

 

     "Now that I think about it, I really was clueless.

 

     Clueless as to why she dated me,

 

     And clueless as to why she left me."

 

 

      Yves chugged down the rest of her beer and got up to leave but stopped midway as the double glass doors opened and in came none other than Jo Haseul, she still looked as elegant as ever. Alright, fate was definitely playing with their emotions.

    Despite all the pain, she was still keen only seeing her. Probably would always be.

      hung open as she layed eyes on the taller girl, who had the same shocked expression as hers but soon beamed at her. Only to have her smile drop as she saw Vivi enter right after her, stopping behind the shorter girl and cocking an eyebrow, looking back and fourth between them.

 

 

 

     "I'd choose not to ask anything.

 

    And...

 

    I don't want to know anymore."