I felt a heavy weight on my chest as I woke up on the Monday of my second week of work. I felt uneasy, I had received an e-mail over the weekend to meet with Jin at 9 am on Monday. Perhaps it was finally time I met Hoseok, but a huge part of me didn't want to face this big of a challenge yet.

“You look lovely today Yannie.” Jin began, I had arrived just 10 minutes earlier to what he had requested, wearing a dark green blazer with floral dress pants. I smiled, his flattering comment was kind to my self-esteem.

"You probably know why I requested you here today." He sat on his desk, hands clasped together placed on a neatly stacked pile of papers. I could feel a fear bubbling within me, slowly raising my heart rate.

"Maybe..." I urged him to go on with a toothless smile.

"You will be meeting Mr. Hoseok this week. Most likely on Wednesday. I suggest you prepare yourself mentally as well as professionally, that is, prepare some questions for you two to get acquainted. I'd like for your first meeting to be straight to the point as well, there's no need to be shy about your job so you can ask straightforward questions. You are his lawyer after all." He nodded his head and turned his head ever so slightly to look at me with a side eye squint.

"Is something the matter?" He asked, I didn't know how to respond to what he had just said, I was still digesting the fact that I'd meet my potential maker in my career to come.

"No, absolutely not! I'll do exactly as you advised." I immediately stood up and exited rather hastily.

“I'm meeting him this week.” I told Jimin, who had just become my desk-buddy since we had met. We enjoyed sharing a work space so that no idea would ever go unheard.

“Don't worry you'll do fine" he nudged me. "All you have to do is prove he's innocent" He said it mockingly. We laughed.

I resumed my serious expression: “And if he's not?”

Jimin stayed silent, but after realizing I had gotten upset, he began to point out the leads towards Hoseok's innocence in his case file.

"I know there are flaws but...I mean, what if he's just not innocent."

"You can't say that, you're a lawyer, you signed up to make these decisions, to face these cases."

He was right. Why was I being immature, like I had never learnt anything from my 5 years at law school. I was underestimating myself.

The night before the meeting, I looked over his case once more and prepared a page worth of direct and intrusive questions. I was feeling rather unapologetic and ready to prove myself. Here's a summary of what I had so far: Hoseok is a 26 year old male (my age) wealthy enough to afford a lawyer from a firm. He was born in Korea but moved here early on because of his father (I don't know why yet). He's had trouble as a teen and was checked into rehab by his parents at only 16. His first arrest was because of driving drunk at age 20. He oddly has no incidences between 20 to 26… which leads me to this case: his father was found dead at 3:14 am on April 21st of this year. Fifteen (yes, fifteen) stab wounds around his abdominal area and pushed to bleed to death under his own car. The weapon was said to be a pocket knife but wasn't found at the scene. He was last seen having dinner with Hoseok at a nearby restaurant on the same day - surveillance footage showing Hoseok in anger and leaving. There were fingerprints found in his father's car but since they are related, it wasn't quite enough to arrest him. An anonymous witness also spoke against Hoseok, making his case for innocence weaker. His step-mother isn't making a statement about Hoseok, having the anonymous witness and paying for lawyers for her deceased husband - it wasn't hard to figure out she wasn't on her step son’s side.

I woke up with the same heavy feeling the next day. The hypothetical weight crushed my hypothetical confidence. I sat up in bed and took a deep breath, you'll be fine, you've earned this spot now you just need to keep it.  

And just like that, there I was, minutes away from meeting Hoseok. The room felt cold and still. I was waiting inside a room on the 3rd floor of the firm. He had requested my presence at his apartment but I insisted the location stay professional. The silence was calming, it gave me time to grasp that I’d be meeting a potential murderer, alone, and trying to juice him dry for facts and alibis. I felt rather selfish, doing this for my own reputation rather than trying to help my client, I was afraid that would blind me from the truth, if there was one. The minutes ticked by until the ultimatum of 3 PM was reached. I now crossed my legs, assuming a professional posture and fixed my hair. I had picked up my pen and opened to a blank page my notebook I had been using to study this man. I began to tap my pen against the page awaiting his responses. He isn’t on time...this was expected. Suddenly an aggressive push opened the door, ruining my professional stature as I became cautious of who was to enter.

A tall man, slim but well built walked in. He had a snapback on and was dressed from head to toe in black. We kept eye contact as he made his way across the room to the seat directly in front of me. He slid it out and placed himself on it reluctantly, as if he had been forced to come see me. It took some time for me to adjust to his silhouette, he had sat right in front of the window, currently all I could see was a black figure with details of an urban city surrounding him. We sat in the very silence I had befriended a while ago, waiting for us to get acquainted with each others presence.

I cleared my throat: “Hi Mr.Hoseok I’m...Yannie” I paused, he didn’t seem interested. He looked at me from top of his eyes, his lips and proceeded with lip bite as if he wanted to say something. He seemed angry, I hesitated to continue, stumbling on a few words at first whilst I explained the confidentiality I was paid to provide. He smirked throughout, as if I was telling him some sort of joke. I moved on to asking him some questions but he just sat there, smiling or looking away - a mischievous grin pasted across his dewy face. I continuously made the decision to ignore his attitude, working my way through my page of questions and being reminded I was getting no where by the blank page in my notebook. It was possible that he'd want to hear about his rights first rather than answering a bunch of questions so I began to tell him about his duties, rights as a defendant and his chances of winning the case, allowing him more time for him to play his childish games.

“You don’t have any alarming evidence against you, but it is enough to put you in jail if the Jury decides so. So please behave during the trial.”

He rolled his eyes, and with that unlocked my final level of tolerance, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“What is it? Why aren’t you cooperating? I don’t get it! I’m here trying to help you out!” I exclaimed, a bit more harsh than I had intended, but it got the point across.

He gave me one dead straight look and leaned in closer than I had, I perceived his motions as a threat and backed away instantly.

“Listen, you think I don’t know what's going on here?" his voice kept rising as he went on "I know what he put you up for, I know what that woman put me up for. I’m not dumb. If Jail is part of it, good, I’d rather be there than outside with morons like you.” His first words left me more confused than before, what was he going on about. He sat back down, grumpily and avoiding eye contact.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb, I know him better than any of you, of course he’d pick some uneducated Barbie doll like you to defend me.”

“Uneducated Barbie doll? Excuse me? What is wrong with you, who are you talking about? I’m here to help you and you’re just making things harder for yourself.” I tried concealed my anger by redirecting it to the main subject, his possible conviction.