So much for hating the new VP, I had completely forgotten about him the next morning. Sitting in the car, Jieun and I made her way to school just like any other day.

“Unnie,” Jieun spoke, “Please make it clear to Sehun that I don’t love him. It hurts me to see his hope filled eyes.”

The wretched topic was the last thing I wanted to discuss in the morning. If I managed to pair her up with Sehun, it will hurt, if I did not then Sehun would go for someone else and it will still hurt. Question was what will hurt more?

“And just what will I say to him?” I asked not looking at her.

“The same thing-“

“No! Your same thing is no explanation to reject the love of a boy who has admired you for nine years,” I said angered by her dismissive reaction, “Do you know he has never had a girlfriend for the past nine years? Do you have any clue about how much he cares about you? The reason why he never approached you was that he knew he would mess up something or the other! Just what is your problem?! You liked him when you were young, you loved being singled out by him and you blushed every time he touched you and now you are saying you do not love him!”

“Will you just shut up for a moment?” snapped Jieun her eyes blazing.

From a relaxed posture, my position had tuned aggressive, my monotonous voice had reached a different pitch, my eyebrows were furrowed against my will and I was breathing heavily as if I had more anger to vomit.

“Just because I find him good looking, just because I blush when he touches me, just because I smile when he is kind to me does not mean I am in love!” she said. She was not shouting but it felt as if she was wincing in pain and looking at me with . . . pity.

“Unnie! You always keep on stressing how beauty is superficial and transitory then how can you expect me to fall in love with Sehun just because he is good looking. I am a girl and I respond like a girl when I see a handsome guy but how does that amount to loving him? I can’t fall in love with every other guy who is kind to me; I can’t fall in love with every other guy who waits for me for nine years!”

Here she threw her hands in frustration as if unable to communicate her actual meaning.

“What I mean is,” she continued, more stably now, “that just because he is an angel does not mean I will love him. I could just fall in love with the devil and no matter how imperfect life would be with him I would still enjoy it.”

I stared at her dumbfounded. She massaged her forehead closing her eyes and reclined against her seat and I staggered to face the window. What she had said was painfully true. Despite my long winding speeches on how unimportant beauty was, I always placed it at a higher and unreachable pedestal. I always assumed life to be easier for good-looking people or that good-looking didn’t need to have brains to excel in life. And here was my sister teaching me my own thesis, giving me a taste of my own medicine. Was I indeed just a hollow talker, a coward who skipped behind her fortress of books to legitimise her power, was I indeed just as superficial as I thought beautiful people  to be?

In the entire ride thereafter we did not talk. She had not insulted me but I felt terribly insulted. I could not forget the look in her eyes, which clearly said that I was just a kid who had no experience of reality, who just spouted her bookish knowledge. They pitied me; they looked down upon me with sympathy. And how I detested it. These were the moments when I felt like killing that sister of mine which people so dearly loved, erasing her from my memory, after all if a single person from the millions who loved her forgot about her, it wouldn’t cause any harm.

“I’ll see you later then,” Jieun murmured as she got off the car. I did not deign her question with a reply and walked off with arrogance unmatched. I was not Mother Teresa, I was also a common human being and no matter how nice I was to my sister, I was jealous, I was insecure.

As I walked towards my class, I saw him leaning against a window deep in thought. His long, lean legs were stretched out looking never ending, his surprisingly long torso promised a chiselled chest beneath the white shirt and his porcelain white face looked intense and intimidating. Just watching Sehun mulling over some random thought caused colour to rise to my cheeks and my heart to race.

He cocked his head to the side and catching me staring at him smiled enthusiastically causing blood to shoot up to my head. I needed to calm down! He waved his hand and hurriedly made his way towards me leaving barely anytime for composing my poker face.

“Still as icy as ever?” he asked to the stone cold poker faced President. I was so glad at my acting skills. If my nails had not been digging into my palms, my happiness at seeing him would have become disastrously evident.

“The usual,” I relied nonchalantly, “But why do you look so tensed?”

The irritation was back on his face and clenching his palm into a fist he said, “Well your younger sister just came by and gave me a long lecture on how I fooled around with her for days together but did not have the guts to ask her out and to quote her ‘and even if you did I would have rejected it'"

“Did she say she would reject me just because she was mad at my cowardice or because she genuinely dislikes me?” he asked earnestly. His nine years were at stake here, so the urgency was understandable.

“Sehun,” I began, turning warm and caring, “She doesn’t dislike you but she does not love you.”

I stopped and looked up at Sehun to note his reaction. He looked surprised. Not horrified or heartbroken, just surprised.

“You’ve never talked that nicely to anyone since ages,” he gasped as he bore his eyes into me. Those orbs of black staring at me brought back the familiar flutters of the heart and the warm heat at my cheek. Gnashing my teeth I said, “She said she doesn’t love you, never did. She likes you and finds you good looking but that is not a pre-requisite to falling in love. It did not make any sense to me but you need to understand.”

Sehun’s face turned grim and his eyes were unreadable, as they got darker by every passing minute. His jaw tightened and I could see the veins at his throat flexing. He was trying to suppress his anger or sadness or may be both.”Nine years,” he whispered, “Nine years.”

He was wallowing in sadness and my heart felt as if it was ripped apart. I wanted to hug that poor soul who was trying his level best to be stoic and not break down at the face of truth. I wanted to tell that I had loved him for nine years as well and that if he accepted me then I would love him forever but I am sure that was not the consolation he wanted. Not knowing what better to do I placed my hand on his forearm and said,”Please do not blame her and please do not blame yourself either. It was a mistake, a mistake committed for too long.”

I felt the muscles at his forearm tense and instinctively, withdrew my hand scared that I had irritated him more but instead he took my hand and clasped it in his own.

Squeezing my palm, he asked softly, “Can I imagine you to be wrong?” It was one hell of a task to answer his question when I could feel the pleasantly rough hands and long fingers touch my tiny ones. I think I had stopped breathing but my heaving chest suggested otherwise.

“I don’t know,” I squeaked meekly. A sad smile graced his lips and looking at me he just stared, he just stared at me for the longest 4 seconds of my life and then he did something, which made my chest feel constricted. He bent down and kissed my forehead and thanking me, walked away.

It was just brotherly affection. It had to be just brotherly affection but that did not calm my racing heart, my burning body, my trembling hands or my frozen trance. I do not know for how many minutes I stood there like a statue with my mind as blank as a white sheet. Even when I did walk, my steps faltered and I staggered every now and then. I had just felt his lips on my forehead, those soft delectable lips graced my forehead and all I wanted to do was cry.

The rest of the day passed like a blur. I did not pay attention in class, I forgot about attending the debate society’s meeting, I did not wish any of my seniors; I just walked around like a zombie, a happy zombie.

At the end of the day when I was just about to leave school, my phone rang, flashing Sehun’s number. That same nauseating feeling took over me. I knew I was overreacting to this entire scenario but imagine if your crush just as much as looks at you how would you feel and here my love had pecked me after nine years! With shaky hands I pressed the receive button and unknowingly, let out a chirpy ‘hello’.

After an awkward pause, Sehun replied, “It’ll take some time getting used to your cute side but keep it going!” He did not sound as depressed as before but his voice had a deep gravity to it unlike his usually cheery self. As for me, I sat down at the school corridor to stop my wobbly legs from tormenting me anymore. What was with the sudden compliments from Sehun? As much as it made fireworks burst in my mind, it also made me immensely suspicious. To add on to this was my suspicion from last night about him making fun of me.

“Sehun,” I threatened, the coldness taking over me, “do you want something or does your compliment have some other hidden intention?”

“And back is the icy whom I so detest,” replied Sehun sighing, “No I do not have any hidden intention and no, this is not the first time I have complimented you but you are so busy being grumpy that you obviously didn’t notice and I called you up to remind you about meeting the VP.”

The VP! ! All this one-sided romance had made me complete forget about meeting him.

“Oh my god I am late!” I shrieked in the phone. I heard Sehun groan as my voice hit his ears unannounced.

“Yes, you are, shriek monster,” he replied, “just a warning, he is weird as . He didn’t speak a word during the tour of the school but smirked when I told him he had to meet you at the council café.”

“You make him sound dangerous,” I snorted as I walked towards the exclusive privilege of the council members, the council café, “I’ll make sure to show him his place.” I cut the call and broke into a run not wanting to reach late. There were certain techniques to dominate a person. One was time. If I entered the café before him I would certainly be the one controlling the situation because the first one to enter the space is invariably the owner of the space. However, if I entered after him, he would become the owner of the space while I would be psychologically subordinated to him.

And the funny part was despite knowing the psychological implications, I was the second one to reach the café and the gestures of subordination had already kicked in. I entered the café bowing my head and hunching my shoulders, apologising profusely. And the figure to whom I was apologising did not give a . He just stared out the window of the café swirling the cup of liquid in his hand. At first sight, he looked as tall as Sehun but broader than he was. He had a lean torso despite his broad frame but the striking aspect of his physicality was his complexion- a slightly tanned complexion that in my country would be considered out and out dark.

“If you are done staring at me,” spoke a bass voice, “will you proceed to introduce yourself.”

Shaken from my blatant gawking, I fumbled, stuttered but somehow managed to introduce myself.

“Ah!” he exclaimed sipping on his cup of liquid, “you are an underclassman. Well I am Kim Jongin or Kai, whichever you prefer, and I am absolutely new to this place and system since I have been overseas for the past two years. I hope to be treated properly as the Vice President.”

“Oh you shall,” I replied, the shaken confidence building itself again in my mind, “as long as you treat the President and the other members properly. You see, the only rule we follow here is that respect has to be earned. So either you earn it or be ready to be dropped off at the wayside.”

His placed the cup at the windowsill and stared at me leaning next to the window frame with his arms folded. “I am also the trustee’s son,” he added meaningfully, a hint of a smirk lingering at his plump lips.

“This of course, has nothing to do with your position as a Vice President or as a student.” I replied. I was gaining back the control I had lost but his smirk, which had stretched itself out from a hint to a proper smirk and his confident stature did not quite make me feel at ease.

“Do you realise the risk you are courting by being such a ?” he asked and chuckled at his own question.

“Just the same you are by being an .”

The chuckling stopped and from his relaxed position, he turned tense and alert.

“Adhering to stereotypes and rumours are we?” he asked rhetorically. I bit my lower lip in regret. Well there was no lying that I had entered the room not as an objective person but a person with a set of preconceived notions about Kai which was just unfair to him.

“Resorting to threats and hooliganism are we?” I retaliated. Accepting that I was at fault in front of a cocky bastard was impossible for me.

“Not threats,” he corrected the smirk returning, “warnings.” He slowly walked to the table at the centre and played with a paperweight.

“Well they won’t work Mr. All Powerful, definitely not in the school.” When he did not answer to my jibe or showed any feelings of shame, I poked at his ego further, “Just because your father’s corrupt practice worked does not mean yours will too.”

He stopped playing with the paperweight and lazily turned his head towards me. “Who said you had to face danger from me in school? And you are one to talk about corruption,” he leered. I was taken aback by his random comment. It did not make any sense to me. Is he trying to tell me that he was going to take his violent activities outside school and what is my relation with corruption?

“So,” he began as if from the beginning, with a sigh, “What are my duties as the VP?”

“Well,” I answered a little unnerved by his sudden mood swings, “You will have to go through all drafts about anything before sending it to me. You can only sign application forms but you cannot sign any financial forms. You can only suggest but not decide except in the area of sports. And Kai will you please stand or sit at one place?”

Instead of standing or sitting at one place, he had been roaming around the entire café touching and examining random objects causing a lot of distraction. I hated it when people moved around while I was talking, I lost track of my speech and also it was highly disrespectful.

“I was the one who was abroad for the past two years, not you,” he voiced talking slow and lazy steps towards me.

“I am sorry, I didn’t quite get you,” I answered in all sincerity.

“Geez,” he sighed in frustration, “Are you as thick headed as you look?”

Old wounds opened up, suppressed vulnerability poured over and I felt all my effort over the past years to rise above all start crumbling. That one sentence from nine years ago said in the same manner, with the same connotation managed to do much more damage than he might have intended it to. Everyday I had to fight the feeling of not considering myself as a piece of crap and then people started hitting at the rawest spots and I felt as if I am fighting a lost battle.

“Honorifics,” he spat out in irritation, “You didn’t use your honorifics and, oh my god! Why are you crying? Okay fine don’t call me sunbae!”

What had started out as the sniffing of my runny nose turned into a weeping session. Kai had exaggerated it, I was not crying just weeping but weeping a bit noisily. I just felt so horrible after hearing him quote the same line as Sehun that I could not control my tears. It was not his statement alone but it was the culmination of every emotion I had kept inside me, every insecurity in me and every weakness in me. My eyes were blurred by my tears and I was so busy wiping my runny nose that I didn’t see Kai covering the distance between us and before I knew two lanky but strong hands encased me into a tight and comforting hug. I thought he would smell of spices but weirdly he smelt of flowers and . . . coffee.

“I am sorry,” he cooed, “I didn’t know you were that averse to calling your seniors as 'sunbae'. Just don’t cry.” “! I didn’t intend it!” he muttered under his breath.

Unlike my usual self, I did not push him away but just stood there enjoying the warmth of a person. I did not have the guts to rest my head against his rock solid chest although I did have an innate desire to. His voice was low but it was soothing. His hug was a little tight for my taste but it was comforting. The last time I had been hugged was by my father in second grade. And he made me feel the same kind of protection as my father.

“It’s nothing,” I muttered against his shirt, “Just remember who is the boss and your life in school should be easy.” I extricated myself from his embrace as if it was something I had been doing since years and without another look at him, walked out the door.

The wind blowing outside caused the warmth of his hug to dissolve in space and that is when I realised the enormity of what had just happened there. Standing there stock still, the entire scene went on a rewind in my head and stopped at the part where he had hugged me and I could feel my cheeks burning up at that memory. What in the world did I just do? I just allowed him to believe I was a crybaby! And I allowed him to hug me! Nobody is allowed to hug me! Forget hug, nobody touches me without my permission and here he had been hugging me!

To top it off, I did not even resist! Oh no, I ing stood there and thought about the warmth, comfort, chiselled chest and other irrelevant ! Good going President! He must be feeling all high and mighty at having made the President cry on his very first day. The rising heat on my cheek made me cringe in shame even more and without thinking, I broke into a run shutting my eyes hoping that the wind outside would sweep my memory and embarrassment.

It was not long before I bumped into a sturdy figure and had my head hit by an iron chest.

“Which freak runs this fast with her eyes closed?” yelled Sehun as he grabbed me by my shoulders. He was the last person I wanted to meet but fate was in the mood to have fun.

“Ah, sorry,” I said sheepishly, “was trying something new.”

Now, isn’t that a fantastic excuse!

“Are,” he asked cautiously, narrowing his eyes on me, “are you blushing?”

My head shot up and I had a feeling, my eyes were popping out too.

“Wh-what blushing?” I had intended to ask this in a very cool and chic manner but what came out was a noisy, high-pitched voice. “I am not blushing!” I continued, shaking my head to emphasise on my ‘not’, “why should I be blushing? I do not have an reason to blush. In fact, I never blush! Blushing is just too. . . I don’t know . . . un-cool? I’d rather die than blush. And even if I was, what’s so wrong about it? Can’t I bl-blush?”

“Oh great,” Sehun muttered, “Now you are rambling.”

“Who the hell is rambling?” I shrieked, clearly noticing how my tongue and pitch was out of control, ”I am not rambling. My speech is perfectly in control and is highly constructed and organised. I am saying what I intend to say, nothing less and nothing more. Rambling is also an art, didn’t you know? They say a person who can ramble efficiently is a great orator. Just kidding, there is nothing like that but rambling is an art. Only the orator part was a lie. You understand, right?”

I just shut up after that ridiculous explanation and bore my eyes onto the ground wishing it to swallow me as soon as possible. First Kai, now Sehun, I was on a public humiliation roll. It felt like ages before Sehun replied with a grave “I understand”

We stood there awkwardly for a few minutes. I did not see Sehun’s face. I couldn’t see Sehun’s face so I focussed all my attention on the muddy ground. A sudden squeeze at my shoulder caused my head to flip right back at his face, which had an inscrutable expression etched over it.

“It’s been 5 minutes and you are still jittery,” he commented his brows still furrowed, “Hold on, didn’t you go to meet the VP.”

“Uh yeah” came my weak reply. Serious Sehun was one of the worst Sehun. He was scary and intimidating.

“Did he do something to you?” he asked his eyes searching for something, “I warned you that the guy is weird but you still had to go all alone! Did he insult you or something because I know you are sensitive with ego issue! Will you please stop staring and reply?”

I was really taken aback by Sehun’s behaviour. I would not really call him uncaring but today, he was being exceptionally caring.

“Are you still worked up about Jieun not accepting you?” I asked the jitter and flutter gone.

He let out a spurt of air in disbelief and looked up at the sky and then said that dreaded line,”Are you as thick headed as you look?”

That was it. Twice in a day was too much even for a stupidly tolerant person for me. If Kai got tears as response, this man was in for something worse.

“You know what,” I yelled pushing him away, the tears stinging at my eyes but the fury emanating from the whole of my body, “I am ing not thick headed. I may look ugly as and dumb as a retard but guess what, I am awesomely brilliant! You know you can never win in a verbal battle with me! You can never win at anything academic with me! Going by looks, shouldn’t you be like the top scorer and the scholar of the school but look! You are a ing average student.”

Sehun looked uncomfortable and disturbed and kept fidgeting. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. The anger was boiling inside me and the tears felt hot against my cheek but I was letting out today.

“Don’t say a ing word. First Kai, then you. Who do you think you guys are to go around judging people? Did I do anything to you to get these jibes? Nine years ago you had said the same thing to me, are you trying to say there is no difference in me from nine years and now? Actually you know what, there is not. I was brilliant back then, I am brilliant even now!”

“Did Kai say-“he began but couldn’t complete his sentence because I walked off stomping my foot on every possible object which came under my shoes. I had screwed up my image in front of both Sehun and Kai and at the moment, I was too infuriated to care.