My maid rushed to attend me as I entered the still mansion. The hall was lit brilliantly and so was the stairway but I felt as if all this was a façade, that if I lifted this blanket of light, I would find an ugly darkness slithering from one corner to another, trying to poison anything it came in contact with.

As if trying to avoid the tentacles of darkness from winding around my legs, I ran upstairs. I took a right, as opposed to the left I was supposed to take and without thinking twice went to grandfather’s room. There was huge difference between the hallways of all other rooma and the hallway of grandfather’s room. The moment one’s feet touched the heavily carpeted floor, one’s eyes saw the priceless paintings, one’s hands traced the intricate carvings of the exhibited woodworks, one was bound to feel that something about it called upon the past. Nothing was bright and shiny, everything was old and lackluster but they looked priceless.

When grandfather was alive, this hallway used to be the most active part of the house, always bustling with important people with files or folders tucked under their arms. Grandfather never allowed kids in this part, except for me. I was allowed to come and go according to my wishes. When father objected at the partial treatment being meted out to sisters, grandfather had said that the future heir to the company had all the right to investigate and understand the company workings and therefore, it was absolutely fair for me to come in this hallway. Jieun was never interested in the files and folders so she did not care if she was not allowed but I was, I was terribly interested in them.

I used to watch grandfather bark out orders to his employees and then he would bend down to tell me that I had to learn to do the same. I used to listen to his words carefully and when I was within the confines of my room, I used to look at the mirror and imitate him- the connotation, intonation, the words, everything- and then fall down in a bundle of giggles wondering when would I actually get to wear the grey suits, the high heels and rap out orders like my grandfather.

I wrapped my hands on the decorative knob of my grandfather’s room. Kai should be in there, may be sleeping, may be thinking but Kai should be in there.

I used to come to my grandfather whenever I felt sad. Now that I think about it, he was horrible at pacifying. He used to shout in his hoarse voice about how the next heir of the company couldn’t possibly shed a tear, how I was such a kid, how I would remain such a kid. But the one which worked was,

You are not a delicate doll like Jieun! You are a strong woman with responsibilities! My favourite grandchild shall not disappoint me!

I laughed at that precious memory, tears lining my eyes. Grandfather and I used to take part in this unhealthy gossip about Jieun whenever I was feeling down. I used to vent my frustrations and he used to support me throughout.

Wiping my tears, I opened the door at one go expecting Kai to be seated on the bed but there was nobody there. The room was empty, empty and dark with only the moonlight streaming in from the slightly parted curtain. Unthinkingly, I entered the familiar warm grotto. After grandfather died, fighting a long term illness, I never returned back to this room. I had nothing to return back to. All my memories associated with this room was with relation to grandfather who was no longer a part of this world.

Before he had passed away, I used to cry every night in my room but never in front of him. When I was with him, we talked business, falling sen or about Jieun like two jealous girls. Things started spiralling down for grandfather when he was framed in the drug pedalling case by Kai’s father. Within a matter of a few months, the company he had built so painfully came crashing down, several charge sheets were filed against him and that was when the illness took over him.

We would not have been able to maintain our lifestyle but father, thankfully, owned another company because grandfather had clearly stated that after him, I would be the heir.

I looked at the room and realised nothing had changed. His favourite mahogany wood desk was still at the same place, next to the windowsill, with Kai’s books strewn over it untidily. Grandfather was untidy as well. All his important documents would be lying there on the desk prone to the sun and wind. I sat on the bed, the bed on which grandfather had peacefully closed his eyes, and thought about the final day.

My grandfather, who had never shed a single tear, had been crying his eyes out on that sunny day apologising to me for failing to pass on the company to my hands. I winced every time he called himself a failure, a malfunction, a letdown, a disappointment. He had said that he knew how hard I had worked to be worthy of being the owner of the company but now, he was unable to reward me. He warned me that after he was gone I should not feel lonely, that if I had anything against Jieun, I should just go and tell it on her face. I had laughed at his childishness but never really followed his action.

When he took his last breath, the weather outside was still sunny, the birds still chirped but this hallway and this room were darkened forever. I did not cry in his funeral. What did I have to cry for? He was gone now, never to return, and then what should I do, crying? I guess I had started bottling up my feelings since then.

“You should be proud of the guy who resides in your room now,” I said to the moon, “He gave your favourite granddaughter a much needed makeover.”

Getting up, I went to the desk to open the second last drawer. The second last drawer contained the contract which grandfather had made certifying that I would be the heir to the company after him; it had been such a long time since I had revisited the glorious time.

The drawer glided out smoothly, much to my surprise but then I thought Kai must have been using so it must have smoothened with use. The contract glistened in the moonlight and with excited hands; I took it from the drawer. I remembered the feeling of seeing my name in the ornamental handwriting. Oh! The excitement!

I adjusted my eyesight to the dim light of the room and began reading the contract. It was not the contract I was looking for but it was far more interesting than the contract I was looking for. This was the original copy of the contract signed between my father and Kai’s father. I sat down on the plush chair and slowly read the clauses. So far, I was aware of all the clauses- transfer of property, change of heir, etc. - but the last clause made me smile and stare at the moon once again.

“Grandfather,” I said, breathing slowly and steadily, “Some things are fated aren’t they?”

However, 50% of the property shall be redeemed to the Park family and 50% of the control shall be transferred to the elder daughter of the Park family in case a matrimonial bond is established between Kim Jongin and Park Jieun.

Mother did not tout Jieun as the ideal girl for no reason. Guess, mother did love me after all.

When I entered my room, Jieun sprang up to her feet dropping the rubix cube she was playing with.

“Unnie!” she exclaimed. I motioned her to take her place as I picked up the rubix cube and placed it on the corner table. I had placed the contract in the same manner I had found it and then left the room, my head and my mind clearer than ever.

I sat down on the chair and waited for her to speak. She was in a terrible state. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair was frizzy, and she looked listless. She didn’t look at me but fiddled with the bed sheet, twirling and tightening it around her finger, she tried to say something but it always got stuck at . Looking at her fumble and stutter like this, I wondered I had grandfather, whom did she have?

It was not possible that her life was all roses. I don’t remember her telling me about any mid life crisis, any teenager issues, nothing. She never told mother for sure because if she had the entire world would have come to know. Father was too unapproachable. She did not have best friends, majorly because half of her friends were sycophants and some were just out and out jealous. So where did she vent? Did she even vent?

“I don’t know where to begin,” she fumbled. We had been sisters for years and as we, both looked at each other, unsure of what to say, we felt like strangers. I thought I knew her but obviously, I was wrong.  

“From the part you hate the most?” I offered.

“I rejected Kai,” she blurted the moment I finished my line. Surprisingly, I did not feel happy, I felt angered. She was doing it again, just the way she did with Sehun. But I waited for her to explain.

“Kai came running to me at the amusement park,” she rambled, “he said that he was sorry and that he loved me. Many things were going on in my mind at that time! You and Kai look great! You may not know it but many people at school also agreed on that. I was so terribly jealous.”

She wiped her tears, sniffed her nose, and continued, “I have never seen you smile like that and I always knew you did not like me wholly. Although, I acted as if we were the closest siblings, truth is I do not understand you at all neither do you understand me. I saw you fall in love with Sehun and saw how you pushed me towards him. I felt like you were trying to get rid of me! And you were weren’t you? If Sehun and I had become a couple I would never be a road block in your love life.”

I wiped my tears but didn’t interrupt her.

“I don’t know how much you love Sehun but you love Kai much more than him. Kai loves you too. I know he does! Even if he denies it, I know he does love you. I am sorry, I am just going on and on about random stuff. I just came here to say that you do not have to worry about me; I am not going to take Kai away from you. I beg of you don’t push him away! Please take him!”

Her last words were drowned in her sobs. Stupid girl! It was so evident that she loved him but still she tried to act brave. We were indeed strangers.

“Jieun,” I steadied my voice, which still quivered from the suppressed tears, “Unnie may not have had a very exciting life till now but she does know more than you. You are young, pitifully young; you still have loads to learn. So do not make decisions for now and let time guide you. Time is an excellent teacher, much better than Kai. As for my love for Kai, I have decided to forfeit him. No! Don’t think I am doing it for you! It is my personal decision. I am leaving Kai but I am not leaving him for you. Although, he is up for grabs.”

We both laughed at my terrible joke. It felt nice to talk, sincerely, crying and laughing at the same time.

“You know what,” Jieun began, suddenly sounding like my younger sister, younger in age, younger in experience, “I used to hate you, maybe I even do now when grandfather used to call you his favourite granddaughter! Mother used to beam with pride when you got the top position for consecutive years and when she dressed me up for school she used to say you have to grow up to be as smart as your elder sister. Remember, your middle school essay, which was soiled in ink the day you had to submit, that was my doing. I do not feel sorry for it! Although I did feel sorry when father scolded you for your carelessness.”

Father, you were right, she did resemble me. In fact, she was a younger version of me going through the same kinds of turmoil I had been through.

“You know what,” I began conspiratorially, as I plopped myself in the bed next to her, “Grandfather and I used to about you day after day. Remember, the torn lace dress, which you adored when you were in kindergarten. Yeah , I was the one who shredded it. I was also the one who broke your doll’s neck.”

“You are a top grade arsehole,” she commented with a straight face.

“And you are my sister,” I retorted with the same poker face.

Our shoulders shook and both of us burst out laughing like coy students picking a prank on each other. Kai and Sehun were forgotten, it was just the late night confessions and us.