3rd person’s POV

The bell signaling the beginning of afternoon classes had sounded 2 hours ago, but Minju still couldn't concentrate. Her mind seems to be in some other place, the floating clouds today attract her strangely. Duck shape, broccoli shape, mandu cake, … countless different shapes that Minju can assign to those clouds. Perhaps looking at them would put her mind at ease rather than trying to concentrate on the class. The first lessons were supposed to be fun and relatively easy, but now Minju finds them tasteless and hard to swallow when looking at them. Minju secretly hopes that the biology teacher will not choose her to express an opinion or answer a certain question, it will be very bad if the new vice-president could only act bewildered when her name is called. “Puppy, that big cloud has the shape of a puppy,” Minju thinks as she looks at a corner of the sky. “Haizz! Yujinie, we can’t think of anything else associated with the image of a puppy other than Yujin. She’s always cheerful, mischievous and clings to those she loves”, Minju smiles secretly, “I miss Yujin again”.

“Kim Minju!”

“Kim Minju!”

There is a call but Minju doesn’t seem to hear it.

“Ya! Minju, teacher is calling you!”, Yuri sitting next to Minju lightly pats Minju’s arm to call her, trying to save her friend from being scolded by the teacher and laughed at by friends.

“Huh?”, Minju turns to look at Yuri in shock.

“You’re Minju right? It seems that in this long list, I have just been lucky enough to call the right dreamy soul floating out the window, class”, Ms. Hyoyeon, a biology teacher, says and accompanies by a half smile.

The whole class laughs at her joke, and at the same time rejoices in the fact that there is a teacher who is cheerful and not very grumpy. They hope there will be many other interesting people at this new school.

“Nae! I’m Minju”, Minju shyly bows and replies, not daring to look up at anyone.

“Tell me what are you thinking?”, Ms. Hyoyeon continues to ask.

“Yes…”, Minju hesitates and Ms. Hyeyeon raises her chin to signal Minju to continue.

“A puppy", Minju replies softly.

The whole class suddenly exclaims, Ms. Hyoyeon also purses her lips into a “wow”. Minju is confused as to what everyone’s actions meant, did she accidentally answer the question correctly?

“Go on”, what else, Minju doesn’t expect that Ms. Hyoyeon’s question needs more than one answer.

“A duck, a broccoli and a mandu,” Minju lists in a row of things she imagined as she looked at the clouds outside. The whole class laughs loudly, making Minju blush red in embarrassment. Didn’t she ask what I am thinking?

“My question is to give an example of an animal that belongs to the class of mammals, not what shape the clouds are out there, Minju”, Ms. Hyeyeon smiles while shaking her head, “You’re lucky for a dog. But ducks are birds and broccoli is a plant. And the mandu isn’t even a living thing, dreamy lady, it’s food”. The whole class bursts into laughter once again making Minju wish that there is a hole dug right next to her so that she could crawl into it and hide.

“Sit down. Pay attention, I won’t punish you for making the whole class laugh. But you don’t want to be laughed at, do you?”, Ms. Hyoyeon gently reminds and Minju shyly lowers her head.

Minju breaths a sigh of relief as she doesn’t receive any punishment from the teacher. But maybe she needs to focus more, or else she’d be knocked out in front of the whole class again. Minju thinks that she should find a way to solve this jealousy of hers, it is completely unnecessary and will greatly affect her studies. So Minju decides to meet Yujin after school, maybe she’ll try to find out what’s going on with her and Wonyoung. Of course, without asking directly, it’s best if Minju will pretend like she wants to know more about her friends. Or if she didn’t inquire, then at least Yujin’s eyes, words, actions or just presence would be enough to make her feel better.

…

Yujin puts her head down on the table after skimming through the contents of the “Square Root” lesson in the Math book and once again feels depressed. While Ms. Seohyun is re-lecturing on the Square of the previous school year, since Square Root is its opposite, to the other students in the class, she completely grasps this lesson. Of course, even if Yujin is very reluctant to study and does other miscellaneous things that students are not normally allowed to do during class, her teachers didn’t have to mind, because they couldn’t force people to study known things. Unless Yujin affects the other students, they will punish her, although it’s not scary but the punishment is definitely a bit annoying.

Yujin tries to fall asleep but can’t seem to. Every time she closes her eyes, the image of Chaewon hugging Minju on stage that year keeps popping up in her head, making Yujin really uncomfortable. She has to keep her eyes wide open, staring at the wooden desk and unconsciously observing the ridges on it. Meaningless, that’s right, it’s completely useless, Yujin thought. And the fact that she’s sitting in class but her mind is constantly thinking about someone else can’t bring any results. Yujin needs to do something else.

So Yujin also decides to meet Minju after school. “It would be great if I could see her smile”, Yujin slightly curls the corner of her lips at the thought of Minju’s Indian dimples when she smiles brightly. Maybe she’ll tell her first about how boring these classes are and tell her she misses her so much. Their current relationship still allows them to say such words to each other freely without any embarrassment, as friends and sisters. But Yujin hopes she can soon say she miss her in a different way than now.

Yujin sighs. She’s torn between telling and not telling Minju about Wonyoung, who is still chasing after her, and gave her a gift today. Up until now, even though Minju didn’t know it at all, she has always been Yujin’s number one priority. Yujin didn’t tell her about Wonyoung because she wanted to implicitly assure Minju that there was absolutely no other person in her life. And Yujin realizes she is definitely wrong about that. She can’t force other people not to give her love, if she want to refuse and avoid, there will be times when she will accidentally and have to meet face to face, that’s life. “If I don’t explain everything clearly, then when Minju finds out or sees me next to Wonyoung like in the practice field, it will probably be misunderstood”, Yujin thinks. But suddenly telling Minju about Wonyoung and then insisting that she doesn’t like her, it’s like an indirect confession, Yujin scratches her head in thought.

That is something to ponder. And there’s one more thing that bothers Yujin the most, Chaewon. “Minju still keeps in touch with her? But didn’t tell me anything. Yena unnie said so, but maybe she made a mistake? Those two might have met by chance recently, or even just today. Should I ask Minju unnie directly? She won’t hide anything from me, right? ... “, Yujin wonders countless similar questions in her mind.

Vibrating... Vibrating...

Yujin looks at the screen of the phone she is hiding in the desk drawer.

1 unread message from Minju unnie <3

After only a few seconds of bewildered surprise, Yujin quickly touches the screen to unlock and reads the message.

“Come see me at the park after school, okay? I will wait for you ^^”

Yujin is so happy with what she just read in her phone that she didn’t realize how bright the unconscious smile on is.

“Did you just win the lottery? Laughing a bit too loud”, Yuna says, who is sitting next to her.

Yujin bewilderedly turns to her friend and realizes that not only Yuna but the whole class along with Ms. Seohyun are looking at her with wide, surprised eyes. Looks like her laughter interrupted everyone’s lessons.

“I’m sorry! Hehe”, Yujin quickly shows off her teeth and flashes another bright smile to get out of the awkward situation. The class shakes their heads and sighs and goes back to what they are doing.

And Yujin feels so lucky. Those hesitations and thoughts have made it difficult for her, but another thing that is equally difficult is how to make an appointment to meet Minju when she is banned from texting. It seems like Minju didn’t want to talk to her before, if she calls, Minju wouldn’t pick up. Now she has less worries. And most of all, even if those things are difficult to talk about or even if she can’t solve any problems to make her mental health and heart less worse than now, at least she can meet Minju today. Meeting Minju is always a great thing.

...

Yujin finds herself leaning her head against the bus window and looking at the busy streets of Seoul at the end of the day. In her ears are still those earphones, as a music listener who is not picky about genres, she deliberately made her smartphone play songs of all different genres, from gentle ballad tunes, cheerful notes of pop and electronic dance music, a bit of tradition from trot songs, and feel the rebellious sounds of metal rock. They have many different meanings and shades, just like the mood and emotions inside Yujin right now. She thought she would be happy to meet Minju, but now she feels more than that. Yujin is coming there, carrying a nostalgia about to be released, a little shy happiness when meeting the person she likes, a little worry thinking about Minju didn’t want to talk to her, if she did something wrong, a confusion because she doesn’t know how to open the mention of Wonyoung, and also anxiety how to ask about her and Chaewon’s relationship, if she think about it more then maybe maybe it will soon turn into a fear, Yujin is afraid that Minju will like someone else.

Stepping off the stop, Yujin slowly nervously walks towards the park. “If she’s come yet?”, Yujin wonders. After a few short minutes, she sees someone’s figure swinging on the small swing, Yujin smiles: “It looks so cute”. Perhaps she is humming some song that Yujin couldn’t hear clearly from a distance. She just stands looking at her for a while, not wanting to and at the same time daring to call her name.

Minju uses her feet to push lightly on the ground, continuing to create momentum for the swing to move. She sings while looking at the trees and the sky, feeling the gentle air movement of the small winds, temporarily forgetting the confusion in her heart. Suddenly she feels as if the space around her have the presence of someone else. Minju looks to the left, no one is there. Then she turns her head to look to the right, it is her. It’s Yujin smiling at her.

“Hey! You’ve come, why are you still standing there looking at me? Come here quickly”, Minju calls out. Her gaze involuntarily lands on a large gift box she is holding in her hand. “A present for me?”, Minju wonders in her mind.

“Minju unnie, annyeong”, Yujin steps closer to her. She sat down on the swing next to her, slowly swaying.

“Annyeong. How is your school today? Is it okay?”, Minju thinks it would be better to ask around a bit, not directly on the topic she wants. Suddenly asking about Wonyoung is like revealing that she’s jealous of her.

“Hmm”, Yujin pretends to think for a bit, “… It’s fine”.

“Thought you said going to school was boring without me? Turns out it’s not bad, right?”, Minju teases her.

“I want to go to school with you. But I’m used to this. It’s a bit boring, but I can’t help it”, Yujin shrugs.

“How are your friends at school? Aren’t they interesting?”, Minju thinks this is her chance to get on the right topic.

“Just depends on the time. But today is a little bit different”, Yujin gulps.

“What’s wrong? What happened to them today?”, Minju asks confusedly.

“Ah, nothing happened to them. Well…”, Yujin stammers. “It’s time”, she thinks to herself.

“What’s up?”

“Among my friends, I told you this afternoon”, Yujin stops to look at Minju, she nods, motioning for her to continue, “… there is a person named Wonyoung”. “It’s time”, Minju starts to tense up inside.

“Yes, I did see her once. Yuri also told me a little bit about her”, Minju says.

“So that time… did you see…”, Yujin stammers.

“Yes. I saw her hugging you”, Minju’s uncomfortable when she remembers that scene in her head but still tríe to appear calm on the outside.

“Wonyoung likes me. She even gave me this today”, Yujin points to the box she is holding in her hand. Minju’s eyes flashes a bit sad, “So it’s not a gift for me. Yujin received it, that means she accepted the girl’s feelings, right?”, she thinks to herself.

“So you received it?”, Minju has a glimmer of hope that Yujin’s answer would make her feel safe, but sadly there’s a high chance that won’t happen.

“I cannot return it. Wonyoung put a lot of love into it”, Yujin didn’t want to say that, but she thinks she should just tell the truth.

Maybe this is enough, Minju doesn’t think she needs to listen any more. “Um. I know, I’ll go,” Minju stands up from the swing, trying to hold back her tears so they wouldn’t fall like rain. Unexpectedly, choosing to meet Yujin is such a bad decision. This only makes her feel worse.

Yujin feels like something’s not right here, she can’t let Minju go like that.

“But I have something else to tell you. Will you stay a little longer?”, Yujin tries to hold on.

“I've heard enough. I don’t have anything to say anymore”, Minju tries to keep her composure and shook her head slightly in denial.

“Chaewon”, Yujin suddenly says and makes Minju unable to move, “Who is she? Is she the one who hugged you on that stage?”

“Yes. She’s just an acquaintance”, Minju explains confusedly, not understanding why Yujin suddenly asked about Chaewon.

“Do you always keep in touch with her? And I don’t know anything?”, Yujin asks sadly.

Minju used to think the same way as Yujin, Chaewon is not related to Yujin, so she doesn’t need to know. But now she knows she shouldn’t have thought that way. The truth now is that she was hiding another person’s existence and that means she wasn’t completely honest.

“But Yujin also never talked about Wonyoung before. It’s not like I’m obligated to tell her about all my relationships. Besides, Chaewon and I are just friends”, Minju begins to think differently. She turns to look at Yujin.

“You also never told me about Wonyoung before, right? Even though she’s been chasing you for a long time? And I don’t know about it either”, Minju says in a slightly louder voice. This means she’s very angry, but it’s not loud enough to call it a scolding, she’s never yelled at Yujin or anyone.

Yujin bows her head, she accepts that she is at fault too.

“But ...”, Yujin is about to say something when Minju turns away. She honestly doesn’t know what to say, should she screams that I’m sorry and I like you? Yujin doesn’t dare, she did something wrong and blamed her, how can she say sorry so easily. As for admitting her feelings, she doesn’t even dare. She still doesn’t know anything about Chaewon, Minju said it’s an acquaintance, but maybe they just haven’t changed that name to a different relationship. If she confesses her feelings, Yujin is afraid that she will be rejected and at the same time learns an even more painful truth. So in the end she just keeps quiet and watches Minju leave the park.

Minju clenches her fists, each step getting faster and faster. She just wants to burst into tears and run away from there. She doesn’t know how to respond when it is Yujin who hid the truth from her, that someone liked her, and that she accepted their feelings. Isn’t that more important than between her and Chaewon? She and Chaewon are just friends, who share the same taste in singing, now they’re schoolmates, but it’s no big deal. But Yujin blamed her. Well, she’s also somewhat wrong, she didn’t say anything about Chaewon before, just because she didn’t want Yujin to misunderstand her feelings. It turns out that this mistake of hers, plus the fact that she did not dare to admit her feelings, is what made Yujin more misunderstanding, an unnecessary misunderstanding. “Or I go back and say I like her”, a thought crosses Minju’s mind. But she couldn’t be so weak and pitiful in front of her. Yujin likes someone else, and she’s still just a friend, an older sister now, she didn’t support her, so why does she make her mind?