A/N: Hey there! I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this since I've been busy with life (exams after exams is actually hell) and with updating my AU but the long awaited (?) sequel to Renaissance is here! My writing has been all over the place since it's been a while since I've written anything that isn't my essays for my exams, so I hope that people who are reading this will understand what I was trying to convey...This OS might be a bit of a long read - I hope those who are reading, won't mind it. Sorry for any gramatical errors and stuff! There are intended gaps in the timeline and story in case anyone was wondering. Feel free to leave any questions, comments and suggestions on here or on my cc (which can be found on the foreword)! 

 

***

 

‘Your highness, it’s time to wake up. The king and queen would love to have breakfast with you on this fine day.’ said Nanny Im. She was the head maid and also the person who took care of you this whole time. She practically raised you when your parents were off busy doing what they needed to do for the country.

 

Yes, you’re the princess of the country but that doesn’t mean you felt any ounce of joy. You were always stuck in the same routine. The day would literally consist of waking up, eating, studying, eating, studying some more, have very limited free time, eat again, shower and sleep. Nothing special really happened. A vicious cycle that you swear was trying to eat you alive before you get shipped off somewhere to get married to some man you’ve never met before. 

 

Now, you’ve always taken care to present yourself as the perfect daughter. The proper, elegant and studious image they want you to have. Disappointing your parents or upsetting them was a big no - you grew up knowing not to do any of that, or there were...consequences. But trying to constantly uphold that image is both equally stressful and tiring. Suffocating, in fact. So you decided that you needed a break. A break from all these restraints and just get away from here for a bit.

 

Afterall, you just wanted to be yourself.   

 

***

 

Asking for permission to do anything was hard. It was understandable though, seeing that these difficulties are only amplified with your position. But inheriting your father’s stubbornness means you’re definitely going to pester them until they give you that permission.

 

So you asked your parents for permission to walk around town. 

 

They probably only agreed because they think that you were annoying and that you were only going to ‘town’ - which really meant the edge of the palace boundaries marked by gates and the little patch of town that was located just past it. Bringing your most trusted guard, Hyewon, with you was also a factor they took into consideration. Hyewon had basically grown up with you and had become your sister, playmate and bodyguard all in one. Your parents trust her and honestly, you do too. She’s fun when she’s not in her bodyguard mode and would often go along with your random dramatic skits. Things you’d do randomly to kill time. Though it might not seem like it, with how she keeps rolling her eyes or saying that she doesn't like it when you hug her, you know that underneath it all she cares for you a lot. She made you forget what it was like to have a sibling during the times you spent with her.

 

Too bad for your parents - what they don’t know won’t hurt them. You’ve already carefully made a plan for this outing so that you can visit more places than last time. All you had to do was when Hyewon turned around to buy food, you’d make a dash for it. Simple, fool proof AND Hyewon won’t be able to catch you if you just swerve in and out of the alleys. Sure, she may be annoyed but you’d do anything for freedom at this point. Time is limited anyway. It’s too suffocating to be in your position. Plus, you know that you can pretty much get away with everything when it’s just Hyewon. She adores you way more than she’d like to admit and has been subjected to your endless whines about not wanting to stay in the castle.    

 

You’re pretty sure she wants you to shut up too so in your eyes, it’s a win-win situation. 

 

When the markets were in sight, you got yourself ready. You made a mad dash for it when you see Hyewon stopping at a stall to buy food. Just like the plan you had made, You weaved in and out of various streets and alleys - never once looking back. Knowing Hyewon could easily catch up to you, you made a conscious effort to run with everything you’ve got. 

 

And that’s how you found yourself on unfamiliar roads and a scenery that you don’t see very often. Everything around you screamed strange. The further away from the market you walked, the smaller the buildings got. The streets that were once well kept, started to look dustier and more irregular. There were missing tiles here and there, there were roofs that looked like it could do with a new set of tiles. Heck, there were even walls and lamp posts that could do with a new coat of paint. Somewhere inside you, you knew this was a place you have read about before. But the difference between seeing and reading the description of this part of town still had a huge impact. The unspoken line that divided the town into the more ‘fortunate side’ and ‘not-so-fortunate side’. You were definitely not a stranger to this, yet seeing it with your own eyes really did hit you pretty hard.   

 

Rumors fly. The rich, the poor. Every little thing that one could think of. It’s hard not to when you are your father’s daughter. You were powerless to do anything but that didn’t stop you from despising the divide your country had. After all, you’re merely another pawn for your country waiting to be used and it saddens you that you already knew about this reality.     

 

Wandering a little further, your feet led you to a small building. The white paint on the walls was peeling and the little window sill seemed to have collected a lot of dust. Looking in, you noticed the warm glow of a bakery - many of its bread and pastries were on display. You were curious what a proper bakery looked like and how it operated. But then again, you didn’t want to be rude and just barge in. Father had raised you better than that. Instead, you did what you could as you awkwardly tried to peek in by the windows, small hands grabbing the dusty window sill as you tried to peek through. You were hoping to catch a glimpse of everything - from the displays to the operations. In fact, you’d love to have a go at making bread for others. 

 

Hoping to catch a glimpse to quench your curiosity, you were not able to see much before a voice had interrupted you.  

 

‘What brings you here? You’re too well dressed to belong here,’ a husky voice questioned you and you turned to meet the person’s gaze. 

 

The person standing there is definitely not the type of people you see often. The girl was probably your age - or maybe even a little older than you and wore a check clearly patched up shirt with a vest. She had black patches (soot, you assume) littered here and there on her skin and a gray cap on her head. The pair of pants she wore had also odd patches sewn together. It was odd. Upon looking at her, the only thought that crossed your mind was that the girl in front of you was cute. She had those pouty lips - a little like the baby ducklings you saw in the pond behind the garden near your father’s study. Snapping yourself out of your observations, you scrambled to answer her.   

 

‘H-huh? Sorry, am I blocking your way?’ 

 

You watched as this person seemed to zone out temporarily before snapping back to reality, eyes blinking a little too rapidly for a second. Maybe the both of you were similar in that sense.   

 

‘What do you think?’

 

‘Uh, I’m sorry...I’m just a little lost. I don’t really know where I am...’

 

‘Please don’t rob me, please don’t rob me! I promise I won’t ditch Hyewon next time’ was the only thing running in your mind. A frown was painted on her face and her tone was harsh. You were worried that she would rob you, seeing as you were in an unfamiliar part of town. You hated it. You hated to judge, but you couldn’t stop those thoughts based on the way she dressed.  

 

As she walked a little closer towards you, you watched the sight in front of you unfold. She had stumbled a little upon tripping on her own feet and this scene alone had broken all thoughts about the fear of being potentially robbed. The pink on her cheeks was cute and suddenly, you could not feel any malicious intent from her. Instead, you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed for her, seeing as she was probably trying to intimidate you but ultimately failing. Either way, you couldn’t help but think that she was adorable.

 

Father had always taught you to be a kind person. Should there be a situation in which you will need to lead your people, you have to be a kind ruler. Seeing as the girl in front of you had tripped, you quickly rushed over and checked for any injuries. 

 

‘Oh my god, are you okay!?’ you asked, hoping that this unfamiliar girl is not in need of any medical attention. Why? Because you had absolutely no clue where Hyewon is and how you could ask for a doctor for her. You’ve never seen nor visited a doctor’s practice in your life, seeing as you had always had a doctor when you needed one back in the palace. 

 

‘Y-yeah! I’m fine. Just er...you know...shaky legs? Haha...’ the duck-like girl stuttered awkwardly. 

 

It was a relief. But you wanted to extend that gesture just as your father had taught you. 

 

‘Are you sure? I can bring you to a doctor if you need to?’ you offered. She must’ve wanted to divert the topic, seeing as she probably didn’t need the embarrassment to linger any longer. 

 

‘Miss, didn’t you just say you were lost?’

 

‘I am, but I trust you to know the way so we can go together?’ you said with a smile on your face. You think you can trust her. She seems to know this town better than you do anyway. Plus, if she hasn’t robbed you already, maybe she won’t do it. You have faith in your judgement seeing as you had always been praised for it.  

 

‘No, it’s okay - I’ll manage. I’m Yena by the way. You?’ 

 

You hesitated. But it would be rude not to reply when someone asks you.

 

‘I’m...Yuri. Nice to meet you Yena.’

 

***

 

You wouldn’t say you’re awkward. Afterall, as a princess, your father had almost always brought you with him to all the balls held in this kingdom or the next. Any meetings that he deems you would benefit from. Any meetings that he thinks you can handle in the future. While you liked some of those meetings (you were definitely the type that was interested in making your country better through exporting goods that the land can produce and the services your people can provide), you hated some. Even though you were the quiet type, you definitely had no problems in socializing. Etiquette classes have taught you so much. You just hated the part where you had to socialize with the heirs of the other kingdoms, especially when you have heard so many rumors about them from your trusted source of information - your best friend Minjoo, who just so happens to be Hyewon’s sister. 

 

Feeling like you had to explain yourself, you told Yena that you weren’t from these parts of town. That didn’t stop you from telling her a white lie, saying that you came with your friend Hyewon whom you’ve lost on the way to the bakery. Lying isn’t really your forte and you know how tiring it could be. But you had to do it for the sake of protecting yourself. 

 

It was strange though. This duck-like girl is cute and the longer you spoke to her, the friendlier and more open she was about herself. And honestly you loved it. You loved how you were able to be so comfortable with her. You loved how she was easy going and would listen to every word you told her. Most of all, you loved how she wasn’t treating you any differently even though she could probably guess that you were of some sort of well-off noble’s daughter.  

 

‘Yul! There you are! Do you know how worried I was?!’ said a panting Hyewon who desperately tried to keep her breathing under control. 

 

Damn it. Why now? The conversation between you and Yena was going great and you couldn’t help but frown a little when you saw Hyewon. This outing was coming to an end too fast for your liking. While you know she was going to give you a good scolding for running off like that because she would be worried, for a second, you hated seeing Hyewon. Who knows how or when you can get out again?  

 

Even though you weren’t sure what the nod she was doing was for, the cautious look on her face tells you that she was not happy. So to save yourself, you tried to divert the topic. 

 

‘Hyewon, this is Yena! I met her when I was lost. I somehow ended up at some bakery but I was lucky she helped me out!’ you enthusiastically told Hyewon. Hyewon still had her typical straight faced expression that betrayed nothing and you couldn’t help but pout a little. Hyewon seemed like she was seriously contemplating about something and you couldn’t help but shuffle a little on your feet from nervousness.   

 

‘How are you sure this...duck girl isn’t trying to rob you?’ Hyewon asked, voice flat and eyes narrowed as she looked at you before glancing sideways to Yena briefly. 

 

You hated conflict and especially between people you are fond of. You didn’t want Hyewon to hate Yena or think of her in a bad way. Afterall, the duck-like girl didn’t even do anything to you. She only led you to the mainroad to find Hyewon again. 

 

‘Now, now Hyewon. It’s okay! I’m okay so we shouldn’t worry. Plus if she was to rob me, she wouldn’t walk me all the way to a place where you can find me right?’ you answered Hyewon, hoping your words would get through to her. 

 

‘...Right. Thanks for taking Yuri back here...I guess,’ Hyewon said, albeit a little unwillingly. That’s how you knew that you had won this conversation. The slight eye twitch that Hyewon does when she’s annoyed but still agreeing to the things that are said? Check. Honestly, you understand her concerns for you and you appreciate it. She was the closest sister-like figure you had. But sometimes, you just want her to be a little less cautious so that you could enjoy a little more breathing room.  

 

‘No worries. I’ll take my leave. Also, Yuri, try not to get lost and don’t go anywhere near the bakery again. It’s a lot more dangerous than you think. Good day to you two,’ Yena warned before taking her leave. You couldn’t even ask her to stay or anything for the matter. She was gone just as suddenly as she had appeared. 

 

***

 

You know you shouldn’t do this. But you were willing to take the risk. The cage you called your home was suffocating and you honestly hated sticking to the same routine again and again. 

 

‘I promise I’ll be good. I just wanted to go out to town for a bit - I’ll make sure to bring Hyewon along!’

 

Sometimes you feel bad. Everyone knows that no matter where you go, they would only let you if Hyewon was coming along. It’s almost as if they think you’re unreliable and need to be babysat everywhere you go. You hate it but it’s also because you knew, you’d tell them you’ll bring Hyewon along. It almost feels like you are using Hyewon as your excuse to leave. 

 

You’re glad Hyewon loves you and is willing to forgive you even though she knew that she was your excuse. You had apologized to her when she didn’t say anything and followed you while the weight of the guilt crushed you every time you went out. The apology to Hyewon and sorting out everything with her was definitely a hard but much needed process that you were glad you did.

 

By telling Hyewon meant that she could cover for you. All you had to do was be honest with her and that in turn gave you so many opportunities. When you got the chance to leave the castle, the first place you had tried to go to was the bakery at the edge of the ‘better’ part of town, hoping you’d somehow meet the cute duck-like girl again. But that never happened even though you have been trying for a good month. You were starting to lose hope and going out once a week with a new excuse each time was starting to get harder and harder. 

 

But talk about being lucky. Why? Because you managed to bump into Yena again after continuously going back to the bakery every week for a few months. The weather was a lot colder than before and snow was bound to fall anytime soon. You were leaning against the walls of the bakery when a voice cut through the loud thoughts of diminishing hope to see her again that were echoing in your head. 

 

‘What are you doing here again? Didn’t I warn you?’ 

 

‘O-oh! Hi! I was actually out again and walked around while waiting for Hyewon to meet me at the same place as last time,’ you answered, your mood suddenly taking a turn for the better. There was a mix of relief, happiness and excitement that was threatening to bubble up to the surface. 

 

‘...Did you hit your head or something? I told you it’s dangerous here. Go back to Hyewon before something bad happens to you!’ Yena warned you as she gave you a disapproving frown. 

 

‘...Uh, well, can you walk me there again then?’ you boldly asked her. Seeing the way her eyes widened a little at how forward you were being, you suddenly felt so self conscious. Were you being too clingy?  

 

‘I-’

 

‘Please?’ you cut her off. You were definitely not going to lose this chance after waiting for several months. Plus, if you were already feeling self conscious, why not push through this one time?

 

‘F-fine...’

 

Don’t get yourself wrong. You love helping people when you could but it didn’t mean you were some sort of saint. The thoughts of wanting to not listen to your parents have always lingered in the back of your mind. But somehow, whoever was up there watching over you must’ve liked what they saw. Because the next thing you knew, you found yourself on more  walks. One walk became two. Then three. Then four. Until you have lost count and the seasons have gone past. The walks were consistent - happening at least once a week. Eventually a year passed and honestly you are forever grateful for Hyewon trusting you and giving you the space you wanted. 

 

With each walk came a new piece of information. Yena would show you around town, tell you about various restaurants she’d recommended you to try with Hyewon and showed you shops that sold interesting little things. Her hand often found yours during those walks and with the walks becoming longer, as well as the time spent together, you got to know more about her. You loved how honest she was - opened to telling stories about both herself and of the world she lived in. Yena had told you that she was just another abandoned child left for dead on the streets and had to result in doing desperate things in order to survive. She grew up in a harsh environment but still never turned to violence in any situation. She would recount stories of surviving with her friends - Yuqi and Hyunjin, and interesting gossip that the town would have going on. 

 

You felt bad. You had only told Yena that you were from the noble class and not much about yourself. The trust she had entrusted you was something you had felt so honoured to receive. But as more time passed, the trust she gave you felt heavier and heavier. You were worried that the weight would crush you one day. Telling yourself that you should keep your distance was probably the best solution. 

 

I might still be a little awkward, now I wanna tra-la - whatever you want to try-ya 

 

But you hated how your heart worked. Somehow, you couldn’t stay away even if you knew that there were consequences. Couldn’t just leave her like that. You knew you were making a mistake when your heart took over all logical reasoning. Replying with a yes when she had stumbled out a simple confession, she had nervously asked you to be her special someone. Her anchor. Her reason to look forward to another day.       

 

You were absolutely over the moon and your heart was speaking for you as you reassured her that nothing would change. You were there to catch her. You promised that nothing would come in between you two and honestly you weren’t one to break your promises. Father had taught you that. You just...need some time to put a plan together and work out how you could keep her without father being angry or doing anything bad to Yena. There were definitely consequences. You need to make sure no one would lay a hand on her because she was yours. Your person. Your home - the place you could be yourself. Not the princess of the country, but just Jo Yuri, a girl who wanted to see the world. 

***

 

Growing up means more and more responsibilities piling up day after day, year after year. Father used to be a little more lenient and didn’t pay too much attention to your escapades (if you can even call them that because realistically speaking, Hyewon was still technically there to babysit you). But a year had passed and the preparations for the yearly winter ball were coming up again. Two years ago, you were only tasked with showing your face. Last year, you were tasked to make small talk with those who were there. This year? The worst of the three, seeing as you are now a nineteen year old princess who is also tasked with minor preparations and keeping an eye out for any ‘potential suitors’. 

 

That also meant that your time was being cut short. You had things to prepare for as per father’s wishes and that in itself ate into the time you had for walks with Yena. Often disappearing for the week, you always find yourself making up excuses or just leaving it as is, if you were too tired. It was unfair - that much you knew and you felt that you don’t deserve someone as understanding as your ducky. But she had always understood and brushed off your apologies.  

 

One of the weeks after you disappeared because of those damn preparations, you rushed out to meet her with Hyewon following your every move. A little later than what you would normally have liked but you were glad you could find Yena leaning against the bakery’s wall. With every step you take, you couldn’t help but smile a little wider. You couldn’t wait to see the person you love after those suffocating hours within the castle walls. 

 

Except, the smile on your face fell quickly when you noticed there were bruises and cuts on her face. Looking down, you could see that she had some on her arms that were exposed by a ripped sleeve. Concerned, you questioned her - only for her to laugh and brush it off, telling you that it doesn’t hurt. There’s no doubt about Yena being a strong person, but you couldn’t help but wince when your eyes see those injuries. The way she was holding everything in, just to reassure you that she was fine had only left a heavy feeling in your chest. She told you that she was stupid and got into a ‘small fight’ with the other street kids. Like hell you would believe that. But to satisfy her, you didn’t push any further and instead made a mental note to ask Minjoo for the best medicine that could treat cuts and bruises. No way in hell is someone going to touch your girl and get away with it. You could feel the way your heart breaks at the sight of her injuries. Before your mind could register what was happening, your mouth had already blurted out whispers of ‘are you okay’ while you gently caressed her bruises and scabbed over cuts. Yena would look at you and give you a nod of confirmation, before the side of her lip twitched up a little in an attempt to reassure you. You were so damn worried but all you could do was give her a kiss on the cheek. It was a bold move coming from you, but you just wanted to kiss her bruises away. It’s all wishful thinking, but if only a kiss could take away those ugly looking dark purple and red bruises, you’d be more than happy to do it. When you pulled away and looked at her again, you could see a dumb grin stretched across Yena’s face. Her eyes disappeared into beautiful crescents and you knew you had it bad. 

 

You were falling harder than you already did.      

 

Yena had asked you about your ‘rich people duties’ and while you were glad she was understanding and playful enough to joke around like this, there still was that underlying guilt of lying to someone you trust so much (and in turn, trust YOU so much) that gnawed at the back of your mind. Brushing it off, you gave her an enthusiastic eye roll and complained to her about it while treading carefully, leaving out important information that could give you away. The way she would take the time to listen to you and give you her full attention was enough for you to go through your day in a better mood than you had started with.     

 

When it came to your most hated time of the walks again, you could see Hyewon being a slight respectful distance away from the two of you. Standing there, you would play with the hand that was holding yours while Yena would pause to savour the moment with you and ask about your next meet up time. You hated lying to her, but with the ball getting closer and closer, you knew you had limited time. In fact, you barely have time to even comfortably do your own things. So you answered her with another one of your generic answers. 

 

‘I’ll be busy with one of those ‘rich people events’ and honestly I absolutely detest those. I just want to spend time with you with no interruptions...’ you told her honestly.  ‘I’m going to miss you so much...’

 

Yena chuckled at your answer and shook her head a little. Even though you couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, there was definitely something off about her laugh. She bid you a playful goodluck and a farewell to both you and Hyewon. You knew the knights in the castle would be patrolling near your room very soon so Hyewon and you had quickly rushed back towards the castle without making it look obvious.    

 

Muffled by your hurried steps and the way your mind could only focus on making it back to your room, you missed the way Yena had shakily let out a huge sigh.  

 

***

 

People after people. Strangers after strangers. Both father and mother have been pushing you to meet people - walk around the giant ballroom all dolled up and speak in riddles with strangers you don’t even remember the names of. You wore a midnight blue dress that had glitter incorporated to the fishnet looking layer on top. You don’t think you’ve worn something this impressive in your life so far. The design must have had something to do with mother wanting you to ‘dress to impress’, but you personally would like to think that the dressmaker’s inspiration from the beautiful starry skies was what made it so stunning. 

 

Mother had never been a person to show her enthusiasm much. She had to be sold on something or be very passionate about something in order for...well, anything to show on her otherwise straight face. She had become quite strict with you as the years flew by. So seeing how she wore wide smiles all night, constantly talking about your good qualities and introducing you to various noblemen and diplomats, you can tell that she was sold on the idea of finding you a suitor. You could only give out smiles that you hope didn’t look like a grimace, in order to keep up the polite act. The act that you have to put on every single time you attend these balls.       

 

‘What an absolute beauty her highness is, King Jo!’ said one of the intimidating diplomats in the little group in front of the three of you. You watched as he lowered the wine glass he was holding, the monocle on his left eye reflecting the light a little. His suit was fancy - with laces of gold on his black suit jacket and his hair obnoxiously waxed and pulled back. You wore a polite smile and thanked him quietly just as you were taught, even though you had a hard time holding your smile. You were desperately trying to make sure your smile didn’t look like a grimace from the god awful sight you’re seeing in front of you. His suit (while fancy) looked like it was two sizes too small for his...plump body and he smelt awful. The smell of heavily doused cologne on smoke? Definitely not your favorite. 

 

Father and mother were both exchanging words with the man while you stood there awkwardly. You never felt like you belonged in these conversations when it happened. But then, the strangest thing happened. You could feel it. The feeling of someone staring at you - almost boring holes into the side of your head. Thoughts suddenly swirled in your mind. Was it an assassination attempt? Are the guards on standby? 

 

You looked around, eyes desperately searching for some sort of abnormality within the ballroom walls. As you scanned every inch of the room, your eyes came to stop at a figure in the back of the room, dressed in a velvet maroon suit and black pants. The figure looked a lot like Yena and you couldn’t help but open your eyes wider to make sure you weren’t hallucinating. Pinching your arm subtly to check if you were seeing things, you felt a sharp pain. It confirmed everything and your mouth fell wide open in surprise.

 

Believe me, I’m attracted to you calling me in this moment 

 

Quickly but politely excusing yourself, you bowed to the adults that were surrounding you. As you made your way out of the group of adults, you made a beeline to her - eyes only trained on the figure standing near the balcony doors. Ignoring some of the curious looks from the guests in the hall and the passersbys, you reached out to hold onto the sleeve of her blazer. You needed it. You needed to hold her - to make sure she wasn’t just another delusion that you came up with, with how busy you were these past weeks.    

 

‘Y-yena?’ you whispered, worried that she would disappear if your voice was any louder. 

 

‘Yuri...’ she breathed out, eyes lingering on your outfit before staring into yours. 

 

If she was really in front of you, there must have been a lot of things that she would’ve been questioning. Who are you exactly? Who are your parents? Why are you here? A sudden wave of realization hit you. Yena is smarter than she looks. It almost felt like you were doused in cold water, sobering you up immediately. The look she had in your eyes. She knows you were lying this whole time and you felt the need to explain yourself. You can’t afford for her to hate you. You couldn’t help but do that thing when you were nervous. The whole lip biting thing. Yena must’ve noticed everything - every little damn thing and decided to bring you out of your misery because the next thing you knew, she had diverted the topic. 

 

‘Do you like the outfit? It took Hyunjin and Yuqi three weeks to put this together...’ Yena said as she lightly tugged at the slightly stuffy collar. She definitely had not worn something like this in her life. You appreciate the effort and lengths her two friends had gone through to put together something so dashing on your girlfriend and for her to attend this ball - despite the...unexplained issue at hand. 

 

‘I love it. Please, thank your two friends for putting you together like this...’ you answered as you held her cheeks softly and ignored the previous issue for now. You pushed it to the back of your mind as you decided to indulge yourself in this moment.  

 

She chuckled - god you love that sound, and pulled you closer by the waist. Being held closer to her means you had the chance to admire your girlfriend’s features and just how...how amazing she looked. When the most beautifully slow and romantic piece of music resounded in the hall and reached your ears, you looked at her - trying to communicate with her. You were confused. The music prior wasn’t this slow nor this romantic. You were wondering what was going on. Did father randomly decide that now’s a good time? Did the musicians themselves think now was a good time to play something like this?     

 

Yena suddenly let go of your waist and you couldn’t help but miss the warmth that came from her. She shot you her signature cheeky grin and raised a palm up to you. You could only stare at it, a little confused but your heart was beating fast - anticipating what was going to happen next.  

 

Throw away your fears and try holding my hand

 

‘May I have this dance with you, Yuri?’

 

Yena didn’t need to say a single word. Just the gentle look in her eyes and the cheeky grin was enough of an encouragement for you. Encouragement to not care. Encouragement to throw those fears away for now. Encouragement to try to take this step, hold her hand and enjoy the moment with her. So with a soft smile painted on your face, you replied with a simple ‘of course’. 

 

She held your waist in a strong yet gentle grip, while you put your arms around her neck. You were very aware of some of the stares from the people who were paying attention to the two of you - no doubt frowns and faces of displeasure written all over. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. At that moment, you didn’t care. You didn’t care about your parents potentially seeing you dancing with someone. You didn’t care about all the other eyes on you. You didn’t care about the consequences. It was only Yena, Yena and ONLY Yena on your mind.  

 

‘Yuri, have I told you how beautiful you are?’ Yena whispered to you as she leaned her forehead on yours. 

 

‘Really?’ you whispered back, voice soft but full of affection. It definitely feels different hearing compliments from strangers and hearing it from your girlfriend. You had always thought people were exaggerating in the books you have read in the library. Compliments from your significant other feels different. Your heart races. You would involuntarily blush with the things they do to you. Honestly you didn’t believe it and would even scoff at the ridiculousness of it all. But now, you couldn’t help but eat your words. Because damn it. Choi Yena really ticked off every. Single. Damn. Box. That was mentioned. 

 

And you loved every single moment with her.   

 

‘Mhm’ she hummed back, eyes closed as she tried to lose herself in the moment. 

 

You knew Yena had never danced in her life but wow was your girlfriend one talented human. She seemed to use her observation skills and just...somehow followed what she saw and the next thing you knew, you were dancing almost as perfectly as when you were practicing with your ballroom dance teacher. She twirled you around slightly as you both enjoyed and engraved this moment in your mind. You’re definitely not forgetting about this. The way she had shot you a loving smile. The way she looked tonight. The way her eyes were only on you and no one else. The way the hand on your waist was holding you securely. 

 

Yena was probably also lost in the moment, seeing as she was shaking her head. She had a cute habit of trying to snap herself back in reality like that and you couldn’t help but smile endearingly at her actions. 

 

‘Thanks Yuri…I love you so much. More than you think. Don’t be sorry, I’ll be okay...’ she whispered cryptically as the both of you slowed to a stop. She left a soft kiss on your forehead, lips lingering a little longer than necessary. You’re not sure what was going on but a sudden heavy weight was crushing your chest and shoulders. What was happening? What does she mean by all that? Why on earth was she apologizing? 

 

Letting you go, Yena shot you a smile. A smile that didn’t seem happy at all. You could only watch with wide eyes as your mind tries to process her next words.  

 

‘Goodbye, my love. Please, live your life. I’ll be happy for you,’ Yena said, unable to hide the crack in her voice. You stood there stunned. You wanted to reach out to her, but she had already turned around and ran. Confused but desperate, you tried to ‘run’ (well, run as well as you could on those goddamn heels) after her but it was almost as if fate had other plans. A sudden surge of people blocked your way and you knew you had to stop. You won't make it. You sighed - hoping Hyewon would be able to catch Yena for you so you could explain and question everything.  

 

A maid had come up to you and informed you of your parents requesting your presence. So you did what any good daughter would do and listened. It wasn’t like you could chase after Yena anyway. She would definitely out run you with the years that she had spent outrunning the people who she had to…borrow food from. Turning back and making your way to your parents. You could only watch as she slipped past those doors, taking a part of you with her.  

 

***

 

Together, we lived at the same time but where you at, where you at

 

‘You know, you’ve been quiet after the dance. It’s a new morning now Yul and you’re STILL quiet. Are you okay?’ asked a worried Minjoo, her eyebrows meeting in the middle. 

 

You groaned a little as you felt the bed dip a little. You were lying on your stomach and honestly, you didn’t care about etiquette or the way you should be ‘presenting’ yourself at this point in time. The people in your room were everyone who you had grown up with anyway. Someone was sitting on your bed and you knew from the moment that person breathed out through their nose heavily, it was your cousin. She was the only person who would do that just before giving you a lecture. 

 

‘Jo Yuri, you need to get out of bed. You need to stop sulking about..about something, okay? It’s been a week and your dad’s going to literally burn your door down if you’re not going to go join him for breakfast tomorrow!’ 

 

‘Chaew-’

 

‘You know I’m right. So don’t try to fight m-’

 

‘Babe, just...let Yuri tell us why she’s sulking in the first place?’ came Minjoo’s soft voice as you feel another dip on the other side of your bed. Feeling a gentle pat from who you assume was Minjoo, you couldn’t help but groan again. Burying your face further into the blankets hoping that when you were looking back up and this bad dream would end, your voice was muffled as you spoke.  

 

‘Sorry, what the hell did you just say? I don’t speak ‘blanket’, Jo Yuri.’

 

Closing your eyes, you looked up again to where you knew was Hyewon’s general direction. You were sad and way too tired to explain yourself. Knowing Hyewon was practically your shadow, she would probably know what was going on. So you called out for her to explain to your dear cousin.  

 

‘Hye...’

 

You can hear the way Hyewon sighed, before clearing and telling your cousin and her sister what exactly went on that night. 

 

‘The person she danced with - the one in the velvet maroon suit? Uh...white collared shirt, black pants with bits of gold lace if my memory serves me right. That was Yena.’

 

‘The duck?!’ 

 

‘The girlfriend!?’ 

 

The loud exclamations from both Minjoo and Chaewon definitely got your eyes to open. What’s so surprising that your girlfriend would show up? Heck, those two both went to the ball and danced too - so why can’t you? 

 

‘Yeah, well Yuri here is sulking because it’s been a week since she had danced with her girl and their weekly walks had been pretty much non-existent. There was also no trace of Yena anywhere when we went out on those ‘walks’ to look for her.’

 

‘Yeah that. And it bothers me so much because of her eyes...her smile...her voice...her kiss-’

 

‘We get it. You're lovesick and missing your girlfriend!’

 

‘NO!’ you exclaimed as you suddenly sat up and shot your cousin a glare. God, you haven’t even finished and Chaewon was already putting words in your mouth. 

 

‘SHE SOUNDED SO SAD! AND WITH SAYING WHAT SHE SAID TO ME - HER VOICE EVEN CRACKED!!!’ you shouted as you turned to look at everyone. But with the way all of them had looked back at you with their eyes wide open, you couldn’t help but think you shouldn’t have bursted out like that. Shrinking back to your original position, you looked down with apologies hanging on the edge of your lips. Before you could say anything, a hand reached out and rubbed your arm. You looked up to see the ever sweet Minjoo giving you a small smile, hoping her way of comforting you could calm you down a little.

 

‘I’m so-’

 

‘Yuri...you’re crying,’ Minjoo cuts you off softly as you feel Hyewon giving you an awkward pat on the back.  

 

‘...I’m sorry...’ apologized Chaewon softly. Now you feel bad. You had probably ruined the mood and heck, you didn’t even realize you were crying until Minjoo told you. 

 

‘I just…miss her. So much. There’s so many things I need to ask. So many things I need to clarify…and I haven’t got the chance to do it.’ you mumbled through your tears, voice wavering and shaky. 

 

A loud knock on the door interrupted the moment and all of you looked at each other in surprise. You scrambled to wipe your tears as Hyewon and Chaewon bought you some time at the door. 

 

‘What is it?’ came Chaewon’s strict voice - the usual indifferent mask on her face again. She really wasn’t the ice princess for nothing. 

 

‘I-I came to re-relay a message for h-his…his highness, P-Princess Chaewon,’ stuttered the poor messenger. The poor guy looked like he was about to wet himself from how scared he was. 

 

‘Say what you need and go. We are not in the mood.’ 

 

‘Y-yes, your hi-highness.’ Clearing his throat, the messenger at the door tried his best to not be intimidated by the royal who was silently staring down at him. ‘K-King Jo wanted to uh...speak with you, y-your highness...H-he’s in his s-study...’ 

 

‘Finished? Leave. Yuri needs to get ready.’ said Chaewon as her intimidation pushed the messenger to leave the room. The poor guy ran as fast as he could back to where he had come from as the door clicked shut. 

 

‘Yuri, you’ll need to go talk to uncle. Come on, stop sulking and go out there before you get punished again.’

 

‘Chaewon...’

 

You knew perfectly well that your cousin was only looking out for you. Sulking for a whole week straight after the dance was definitely a long time. Long enough that your parents would give you disapproving looks during dinner. Long enough for a number of people to realize there was something going on. You swear you didn’t want to, but with the combination of you sulking and being upset with everything going on, you couldn't help it. The sudden flair in anger rose in your system and if it wasn’t for Hyewon suddenly standing in between Chaewon and you, you might have lashed out already. 

 

You could only give them one last look before huffing out air from your nose. In the most unprincess-like fashion, you stomped your way to where your father was waiting. The bubbling anger in your system didn’t want to settle so you only pushed forward. You didn’t dare to look back at the three behind you. Hyewon will follow you out soon anyway.   

 

If you did, you probably would have noticed the worried looks Minjoo was shooting at both her girlfriend and her sister while Chaewon had a frown on her face.  

 

***

 

‘Yuri, what do you think of Diplomat Lee’s son - Donghyun? Or maybe Counselor Park’s son - Yongmin?’

 

Trying so hard not to scoff at what your father had said, you looked to the side and avoided his gaze. You didn’t want the sudden flare of anger to be lashed out and land you in even more trouble.   

 

‘Father, not even a good morning before launching straight into the topic?’

 

Father’s hard stare was throwing you off guard but you couldn’t help it. The snark in your voice just...made its way out of your system. So you tried to make it up to your father as best as you could, before he exploded. ‘Father, I don’t want either of them. There’s someone I already like.’

 

Okay, maybe that wasn’t exactly the best thing to do. Maybe you should’ve worded it better or broke the news out to him more gently. 

 

‘Jo Yuri, what did you say?!’ said the king as he looked at his daughter. There was a hint of anger in his voice and you knew you couldn’t do this. 

 

‘...Nothing. Sorry father. I wasn’t feeling well nor was in my right mind.’ you replied through gritted teeth. 

 

‘Good. It’s been a week since the dance and I’ll be giving you another week to decide who you will choose to be wedded to.’

 

You didn’t want this. If it wasn’t Yena, you didn’t want to be promised to anyone. But you decided to keep this act of rebellion up. Quickly bowing to your father, you made your way to the library and spent time there. Daydreaming about a better day. Daydreaming about Yena. Think about all the what ifs.    

 

And just like that, a week flew by with you doing this same routine. 

 

*** 

 

Tomorrow was the day that was set by your father. He wanted answers from you about your future. It was hard. You only wanted the duck-like girl and no one else but you still haven’t come up with a plan of any sort. Heck, you don’t even know where she was. Also, with your new routine of locking yourself up in the library, Minjoo and Chaewon had occasionally visited you. It was strange but when Minjoo and Chaewon were both with you, Hyewon would go out to do her other ‘duties’ - duties you had no clue she had. She wouldn’t explain anything further either. 

 

You had a lot of questions but all of them seemed to suddenly have answers that night. Chaewon had dragged you out of the library as soon as the sun was setting and forced you to wear a casual outfit with a fur coat. She wouldn’t leave you alone until you had promised to dress up, so you did just that. As soon as you were dressed and out of the door, you were met with another surprise. Hyewon had a serious look on her face as she guided you to the back door of the castle. The three of you sneaked out through the giant doors and you could see Hyewon nodding to the guards there. You followed their lead and your eyes met with an older blonde woman who didn’t seem like she was from this part of the country. 

 

‘Minnie, show us the way please.’ said Chaewon as soon as she spied the blonde girl. 

 

‘Right away, Princess Chaewon. This way please!’ 

 

So now, it was the four of you heading off to...well...somewhere. This was the first time you had ventured out this far and you were honestly worried about what father would think. But seeing the bakery that you had first met your girlfriend gave you a wave of both sadness and courage. 

 

The scenery around you changed. Dark alleys were appearing more and more frequently and barely any street lights were working. There were bits and pieces of loose wood, buildings covered in grime and even the sky looked grayer in this part of town. The doors that were closed had paint peeling off and the clothing that were hanging by what you assume was a laundry line looked ripped up and patched again multiple times. Your heart hurts from seeing the conditions of your people living like this and you vowed to change something. Bring it up to father if you may. 

 

Turning into one of the many alleyways, all of you came to a stop in front of what you assume was an abandoned shed. It was dusty and run down. Falling apart and forgotten. It was stuck awkwardly between the walls of two buildings that were falling apart, just like the others in the area. You’re sure that unless you knew where to look, everyone would have missed the secluded and hidden shed. 

 

‘Your highness, we’re here,’ announced Minnie as she stepped to the side and bowed to both you and Chaewon. The paint was peeling off of what you assumed was the door and you couldn’t help but feel your heart race a little. In what exactly? That you weren’t too sure.  

 

‘Go on Yuri, we don’t have all day. Knock.’ said Chaewon as she gently nudged you forward. 

 

With your heart pounding, you knocked on the door. You didn’t have to wait long for the door to be answered. A pair of round eyes stared at you through the gaps and you couldn’t help but step back a little. To be fair, you weren’t too sure what you were expecting. The pair of cat-like eyes observed you for a little longer, before closing the door on you. Confused, you tried again. 

 

‘No one’s here!’ came a husky voice from the other side. 

 

‘Yuqi, it’s Minnie! The blonde girl from the other day?’ piped up Minnie from the side. 

 

There was silence for a second before a quick shuffle could be heard. The door then pulled back only to reveal a beautiful brown haired girl with black soot dusted cheeks. Her vest was patched up in several different places and both her shirt and pants were ripped. She seemed to have grime on her face too and she was awfully skinny. Though you must say, there was something bright in her eyes. A smile then stretched across her face as she made eye contact with Minnie (whom you later found out was Chaewon’s bodyguard).

 

‘Minnie!’ 

 

‘Hey, I brought my friends over to find your friend. Is she in today?’ Minnie said, matching Yuqi’s energy. Both of them were shooting each other eye smiles and if you weren’t so occupied with everything, you would’ve thought they were adorable. 

 

‘Oh...uh...she’s busy with uh-’

 

‘Bodily secretions.’ piped up a soft, airy voice from behind Yuqi.    

 

‘HYUN!’ exclaimed Yuqi as she face palmed herself. 

 

‘What? I mean, she’s crying in the corner and draining all the water supply we have. It’s been two weeks already!’ said this Hyun person as the figure came into view again. Oh. It was the cat-like girl from before. 

 

‘Not the way to break it to people we don’t know,’ sighed Yuqi as she pushed the cat-like girl back inside. She turned back to face your little group and invited you all in. ‘Guys, don’t mind Hyunjin. She’s...like that. However, it is true that our friend has been awfully upset for the past two weeks already. Please, come in.’

 

Walking inside the shed, the first thing you noticed was a lump in the far corner of the tiny space. The sniffles coming from the lump was heartbreaking and with every step you took towards it, the more your heart broke. You could guess who exactly was on the floor lying there, facing the wall. Ignoring everyone who thankfully gave you the space, you made your way closer. Heart pounding, you weren’t too sure what to start off with. The apologies you practiced during the times you locked yourself in the library? Or the explanations that you owe her? Or maybe even the questions that plagued your mind?  

 

‘Y-Yena...’ you called out timidly, voice cracking as soon as you spoke.

 

The lump suddenly went stiff and the atmosphere in the shed went still. You’re aware of all the eyes that were curiously looking your way but you only cared about Yena. 

 

‘No, Yena stop.’ came her watery voice, refusing to turn around. ‘She’s not here. She’s happy - let her be happy being who she really is. A dirty poor street rat like you can’t give a princess a happy life.’

 

Unable to hold yourself back at the words that Yena spoke to herself, you quickly kneeled down and wrapped your arms around her figure. 

 

‘Y-Yena...please...I’m here. I’m here...’ you said in between your sobs. 

 

Realizing the arms around her were very much from a real person, Yena sat up in shock, eyes not quite believing what she was looking at. 

 

‘Y-yuri? I’m not dreaming am I?’ 

 

Shaking your head you buried your head in the crook of her neck. You're sure you won’t be letting go of her any time soon. You’ve spent too many days without her and you hate these past two weeks so much. Yena pulled back to look at you. To make sure you weren’t one of her many delusions. She reached up to wipe your tears off while having a frown on her face, and you just knew she was blaming herself. 

 

‘Yena, it’s not your fault!’ you said, more tears spilling out of your eyes as you held onto her desperately. You wanted to reassure her. You wanted to hold on to what you have with her. 

 

‘Yuri, you’re crying…’

 

‘IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A SELFLESS IDIOT!!!’ you cried. ‘Who told you...who told you...you could decide everything and leave me like this...’ 

 

Her arms wrapped around you tightly and you could also feel her shaking. Yena - the head strong girl who doesn’t even cry from all the fights that she had gone through was crying like a baby for you. 

 

‘You idiot, stop crying...seeing you cry makes my heart hurt!’ you said, vision still blurry as you tried to wipe her tears away for her. 

 

‘We look like idiots.’ said Yena with a bright yet watery smile. Sniffing and wiping her tears on her ripped sleeves, Yena stood up and brushed the dust off herself. Puffs of white radiated off her ripped pants, before she carefully wiped her hands down on herself. She slowly stood up and put a hand out to you. 

 

You and me tra-la, dancing tra-la - under the pouring starlight 

 

There was a sense of deja vu. Except this seemed to serve as an even better memory for you. You didn’t need the extravagant halls and beautiful balls to dance in. You’re happy to take your girlfriend’s hand here in this run down shed. The hole on the right side of the roof may have been a nuisance for the occupants whenever it rained, but it was perfect at this moment.  The moonlight had poured through the gaps and flooded that little area with light.   

 

‘Dance with me, Yuri?’ 

 

‘Of course, Yena.’

 

Now the starlight is a dazzling spotlight 

 

The two of you danced to music only the two of you could hear while you forgot the existence of everyone else in the room. It was just you and Yena, dancing in a run down shed with the moon as your light. To you, THIS was the moment. This was the perfect memory of what a memorable dance should be like. No need for anything fancy - just the girl you love holding you as if, if she had let go, you would disappear. 

 

‘Come back with me,’ you boldly told her. It wasn’t a question. You needed to get this through to her. 

 

‘What about both your father and mother?’ Yena whispered as she leaned her forehead on yours, stepping to the left and guiding you along. ‘You know that they would never want me…’

 

‘I don’t care. I’m not afraid of what is going to happen as long as I have you by my side. Come back with me to the castle and we can go talk to my father.’ you answered courageously. 

 

And you might have just made the best decision in your life, seeing how wide the smile on Yena’s face had become. Decideing to be brave and selfish for once, you took the step for two of you. Now you definitely still remember that there were people who were in the same place as the two of you, staring with fascination in their eyes. But you didn't care. Teasing be damned. Pulling her closer, you leaned in and kissed her. 

 

I’m not afraid anymore, I’ll throw it over the sky

 

***