“Umm, Miyeon-ah…can I ask you something?” Ara spoke up while we were sweeping the floor. It was Thursday, the day we were on duty.

“Sure, go ahead.” I nodded. I could feel something weird about her that morning. She was not her usual self. I’d never seen her look so confused before.

“Do you have feelings for Sungyeol?”

I stopped sweeping the floor and stared into her big, round eyes quietly before I flashed a big smile.

“No, I don’t think so. What makes you think so?”

“Because recently, I often see you guys talking with each other—just the two of you.” Her tone had an edge to it.

Was she upset?

“Well, do you still have feelings for him?”

“I…I don’t know, Miyeon-ah. I guess I’m just a little confused.” Ara shook her head and gave me a weak smile. “I’m going to wipe the windows.”

Without another word, she left me alone at the balcony and went into the class, joining Nana who was wiping the windows diligently. Her troubled face kept replaying in my mind the whole day.

~~v~~

“I can’t study anymore!” Nana whined, scribbling randomly on her textbook.

“Yaa, you shoudn’t do that. In the end, you’ll have to erase them all.” I told her but she replied with a big sigh and pouted with her arms crossed.

“I don’t wanna sit for the entrance exam, it’ll be too hard and I’ll fail miserably. Just kill me, Miyeon-ah.” Nana used an invisible knife to stab her chest and acted like she was suffering from excruciating pain.

“You’ll catch up in no time.” I patted her shoulder and smiled. “I’m not ready too but I’m sure both of us will pass the exam.”

“Really? Do you think we can pass the exam?” her slanted eyes grew wider as she looked at me with full of hope.

“Sure, as long as you study.” I smiled.

“Ugh, study. I hate studying. It makes me sleepy.” Nana rubbed her eyes and leaned her back against the chair she was sitting on. Then she stared at me for a couple of minutes before she spoke up, “Miyeon-ah, I’ve always thought of you as my best friend and I think I’ve never said this to you before; thank you for being there with me.”

I stared back at her with a startled look on my face. I didn’t expect her to say that to me.

She just thanked me for being there with her. But I thought I hadn’t done anything helpful to her. Why was she thanking me for something I didn’t do?

“You’re always there to listen to me.” Nana smiled lightly—looking a bit shy because I saw her blushing.

“But…” I started but then I kept my mouth shut.

Maybe what she said was true. Maybe I’d always been there for her to listen to her problems. But why did I still feel empty? I couldn’t allow myself to receive the praise she’d given me. I didn’t feel proud at all.

Why?

“Do you think so?” I raised my eyebrows. “Do you think I’ve done a good job listening to your problems?”

“Of course!” Nana beamed, grabbing both of my hands tightly in hers. “You’re such a good friend, don’t you know that?”

“I don’t know…I guess.” I nodded slowly. “I had always thought of myself as a bad friend. I didn’t think I was good enough-”

“You’re the only one who thinks like that.” Nana narrowed her eyes at me. “You should trust what your best friend told you, Miyeon-ah.”

“I’ll try.” I nodded, giving her an awkward smile.

“But there’s one thing you’re missing.”

“What is it?”

“You’ve never opened up to anyone before.” Nana let go of my hands and stared down at her lap. “Miyeon-ah, do you feel uncomfortable with us?”

“No, no!” I retorted, waving both of my hands for a sign of disapproval. “I’m just… I don’t know. I’m sorry, Nana-ya. I just can’t explain.”

Nana didn’t say more after that. She only gave me a weak smile and continued to finish her homework.