Episode 10.4

i'd rather lose (my mind)
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On a Monday morning, as Winter was rearranging the books, she heard a familiar voice. Winter felt her heart skip a beat. Her stomach suddenly felt like it was tied in knots. 

 

Winter kept her gaze lowered but her hand trembled as she picked up a book.

 

"Excuse me," the woman said, pulling her attention away from her thoughts. "Can I use the reserved seating even though I will not read the books I bought from this store?"

 

Winter nodded, "It's fine as long as you follow the rules and regulations on the bulletin board."

 

On her peripheral vision, Winter saw the customer leaning on the bookshelf. "Will I need to buy from the cafe though?"

 

Winter doesn't know why her body tensed up whenever at the sudden proximity. It was as if she was preparing for a fight or flight response.

 

'Tone it down' Winter reprimanded herself.

 

"Only if you want to," Winter answers as she continues to arrange the books. "Although, I would encourage you to buy at least the cheapest drink if you're gonna stay longer than three hours."

 

The shop owner heard the woman chuckle. "Of course," she answers. 

 

Winter felt like every nerve in her body was abruptly on high alert. 

 

Wanting to escape from the interaction, Winter pushed the cart to rearrange the books at the other end of the shelves. 

 

"Do you answer all the members' questions like this? Or do you have a small pamphlet of rules and regulations where we could look?"

 

'Oh we're still talking' Winter internally mutters to herself. 

 

"We actually have a website that lists those, it's written on your membership card," Winter informs.

 

She heard rustling noises and a sound of confirmation from the woman. "Should've probably checked that…" Karina mumbles to herself.

 

Just as Winter was about to say something, Giselle interrupted them. "Hey, dumbo" she said, walking over. "Can you man the cash register for me real quick? I need to take a bathroom break."

 

Winter winced at the nickname but still grateful for the distraction. She walked over to the cash register and began to ring up a customer's purchase.

 

Winter scanned the items on the cash register yet she couldn't resist stealing a glance at the woman who was busy checking out the new arrivals on the shelves. 

 

The woman looked so comfortable wearing her hoodie, her long wavy hair was cascading down her back like a waterfall. Winter felt a sudden urge to touch it, to feel the softness of her hair against her fingertips.

 

Suddenly, a customer interrupted her thoughts. "Excuse me, miss?" Winter snapped out of her trance and turned to the customer with a smile. "Yes, how may I assist you?" she asked politely.

 

"Do you have any Paulo Coelho novels?" the customer asked. 

 

"Yes ma'am, it's on aisle 3 if I'm not mistaken," she said, pointing to the shelves.

 

As the customer walked away, Winter couldn't help but turn her attention back to the woman who captured her attention. 

 

She tried to catch a glimpse of the woman's face, wondering if she was smiling as she browsed the pages. 

 

Unfortunately, all Winter could see was the back of her head. 

 

Winter wondered what the woman was thinking.

 

Curious if she was thinking about her too.

 

'Oh don't start ' Winter reprimanded herself. 

 

Just then, another customer approached the counter. "Hi, do you have any recommendations for a good mystery novel?" the customer asked.

 

Winter smiled, glad to have something to occupy her mind. "Absolutely," she replied. "Let me show you some of our bestsellers." She turned to the shelves behind her, leaving her thoughts of the raven haired woman behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Winter woke up with tears streaming down her face, gasping for breath. It's becoming a daily occurrence.

 

It was the same dream again, a hazy memory of her and someone unrecognizable. 

 

The memories were confusing, heart-wrenching, and made her feel like she was suffocating. Winter lay in bed, sobbing uncontrollably. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of emotions, unable to escape the pain.

 

She felt like she was mourning every night.

 

Being afraid to go back to the dreaming world, Winter started her day with a heavy heart. 

 

She dragged herself out of bed and got dressed, trying to push the haunting images from her mind.  The thought of spending her day cooped up indoors was already weighing heavily on her but Winter kept feeling like she deserved it.

 

Giselle walked into the bookstore early in the morning, feeling energized and excited for the upcoming Easter holiday. She noticed her co-owner already hard at work behind the desk

 

"Good morning, Win! Are you ready to get into the Easter spirit?" The tall girl asked, a hint of excitement in her voice.

 

Winter looked up from her work, her eyes bleary and tired. Giselle didn't notice the bags under her eyes or the exhaustion in her face.

 

"Of course, I'm always ready for a little holiday cheer. What did you have in mind?" The young shop owner replied, doing her best to sound enthusiastic.

 

Her friend smiled broadly. "I was thinking we could put up some banners and decorations around the store to get everyone in the mood. What do you think?"

 

Winter hesitated for a moment, her tired brain struggling to process the request. "Uh, sure, that sounds great. Let me see what we have in the back."

 

As the restless woman made her way to the storage room, she couldn't help but feel a sense of dread creeping in. She had barely gotten any sleep. The last thing she wanted to do was put up decorations and banners.

 

But she didn't want to disappoint Giselle, who was always so full of energy and excitement for the bookstore. In the end, Winter pushed through her exhaustion and began to search for the decorations.

 

Winter could feel her energy waning as she hung the banners around the store. Her hands felt heavy, and her movements slow and deliberate. 

 

She pressed on, determined to finish the task but her mind wandered to the recurring nightmare she had been having lately. 

 

Someone was breaking her heart, over and over again, leaving her feeling lost and alone. She couldn't shake the feeling of sadness that lingered long after she woke up each morning.

 

Winter stood up on a stool, stretching her arms to put on the last banner in between the shelves. Her lack of height made it a little challenging, and she was struggling to keep her balance. 

 

Suddenly, she lost her footing and began to fall. Winter braced herself for impact, but a strong pair of arms caught her.

 

"Careful there," Karina said, her voice low and smooth.

 

Winter looked up in surprise, forgetting her promise to herself, and looked at Karina's face.

 

She saw her regular customer wearing a pair of questionable sunglasses inside the bookstore. 

 

'Why is it suddenly hot in here' 

 

Winter's cheeks turned a dark shade of blue as she realized she was in Karina's arms.

 

"Thanks," she said, trying to regain her composure.

 

Karina smiled, and Winter couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she looked, even with the sunglasses on.

 

"Are you okay?" her customer asked, concern etched on her face.

 

Winter nodded, still a little dazed from the fall. "I'm fine, thanks to you," she replied.

 

"You should be more careful," Karina notes, still holding the other's gaze.

 

'Thank the cosmos for that sunglasses,' the shop owner thought. 

 

In response to the woman's words, Winter nodded, feeling a little flustered by the intensity she's receiving.

 

"I will," Winter said, her heart pounding in her chest.

 

She steadied herself on Karina's arms, but she could not take her eyes off the woman in front of her. Karina's face was now inches away, and Winter could smell her sweet perfume mixed with the scent of newly printed books.

 

Winter spoke up again, breaking the silence. "Why are you wearing sunglasses inside the store?"

 

Karina helped her off the stool and steadied the bookstore owner before letting go.

 

Karina lifted her head and touched the sunglasses. "Oh, these? I haven't been sleeping well for the past few days…" she then tried to fix her hair, "...and my face is haggard. I thought I'd tone it down a bit."

 

Winter chuckled. "Well, they do look a bit odd inside the shop, but if they help you feel better, then that's all that matters."

 

Karina gave her a blinding smile, and the blue visioned woman felt her stomach flutter. 

 

"Thanks. I've missed this place," Karina said, looking around the bookstore. "And I've missed seeing you."

 

Winter blushed and bit her lip to suppress her smile. 

 

They stood there for a moment before a customer's voice from the other aisle broke the moment. Karina cleared and stepped away from Winter. "I see you're almost done putting up these decorations. Do you want to help?"

 

"I wouldn't really like to impose ma'am," Winter says as she notices a mole just right under Karina's lips. 

 

'Pretty..' Winter thought.

 

"Pretty," Karina said out loud before coughing, trying to maintain her composure. 

 

Working to appear nonchalant, Winter chose to ignore the comment and the fluttering butterflies in her stomach. Instead, she asked a question, "Aren't you here today to use the reserved seats?" 

 

'I extra cleaned it yesterday' Winter added internally. 

 

Karima gave her a smile, "I'm already using it thank you. Just thought of stretching out my back and maybe ordering some food."

 

Caught off guard with the beaming smile, Winter says the first thought that comes to mind. "The cafe station's on this way," then Winter used both of her arms to gesture towards the left. 

 

The woman chuckled at her antics. "Oh thank you so much, I've been lost in here for three weeks."

 

Winter, unable to resist the moment, grins as well, "Glad to be of your service," she says before bowing her head slightly. 

 

Karina beams again, "Let me help you as my way of gratitude," she said, her voice low and husky.

 

That's how Winter found herself spending the next hour putting up banners and streamers, laughing and talking like old friends with the woman. 

 

Winter couldn't believe how easy it was to be around Karina, and she wondered if maybe, just maybe, they could be friends. 

 

'Right. Friends.' she scoffed at herself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For weeks, Winter had been plagued by nightmares that left her tossing and turning in her sleep. Every night, she would see flashes of a blurry memory that she couldn't quite make sense of. She tried everything from meditation to therapy, but nothing seemed to work. 

 

It was fine to endure being restless at first even when she's at work. Winter's perspective changed however when due to her exhaustion, her hand slipped as she was carrying a delivery box.

 

Giselle, who was carrying a box herself, was not able to dodge. Her foot got crushed by the weight of the box full of books and she screamed in pain. 

 

Her friend didn't suffer any serious injuries but it was the day Winter decided to try a sleeping pill.

 

At first, the young woman was hesitant to take the pill. Winter had always been wary of medication but the lack of sleep was taking a toll on her life, and she was willing to try anything to get some rest.

 

Winter drifted off to sleep that night, she felt a sense of calm wash over her. For the first time in weeks, she slept through the night without any interruptions. 

 

Winter was relieved when she woke up that day. The nightmares were finally gone. But as the days went on, she realized that the blurry memories were gone as well.

 

A tap on her shoulder interrupted her thoughts, "Can you bring this order up on the mezzanine?" Giselle asked. 

 

Her co-owner easily gave her a nod, carrying the tray full of donuts and iced tea. 

 

Winter climbed up the stairs to the mezzanine floor of the bookstore. A sign hanging above the pathway that read, "Reserved Seating: Members Only." 

 

It was the designated area for customers who had subscribed to the Dumb and Dumber's membership card. It was their perk, a special area reserved just for them.

 

The shop owner carefully placed the customer's order on the table, making sure everything was perfect before turning to leave. But as Winter walked away, she noticed a familiar figure who's wearing sunglasses sitting alone at a nearby table.

 

Karina's face scrunched up in a frown, her laptop screen reflecting on her incredulous sunglasses. 

 

Winter hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should approach the woman or let her be. But her curiosity got the better of her, and she slowly made her way over to Karina's table.

 

"Hey, is everything okay?" she asked, trying not to startle the other. 

 

Karina looked up, surprised to see someone standing in front of her. "Oh, hi," she said, trying to force a smile. "Yeah, everyt

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aescapism
Phew! Finally laid out the "hints" for this story.

I hope u guys don't mind the additional characters! This story will involve a loooot of disguises so be on your toes ^^

Let me hear ur thoughts on the comments (ps: so far no one is getting it right on who's the "real" karina)

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gomtokkim
2187 streak #1
Chapter 16: I miss this story...
tobykaiii
#2
Chapter 16: karina vs... karina?? AJHFJAHFJA
tobykaiii
#3
Chapter 15: this is so interesting.... WTF
tobykaiii
#4
Chapter 13: OH MY GOD ??????
tobykaiii
#5
Chapter 11: :((
tobykaiii
#6
Chapter 9: This chapter is so cute i always love me a bookshop owner winter. But i honestly cant help but imagine them as smurfs KAHDKSHAHA oh well at least theyre in love 🥰
tobykaiii
#7
Chapter 5: 🥺🥺🥺
jysowee
#8
Chapter 16: Its been a long while since I last saw this fic, congrats on the promo author-ssi! 🥳
Ghad20
#9
Congratulations
Etoile__
383 streak #10
Chapter 1: 🥹🥹🥹🥹