Chapter 5

Days come to pass and Jaemin stays at the hospital. Renjun, Doyoung, and Chenle have already recovered from the laceration. Luckily enough, they were provided by the best doctors to take care of them. However, Jaemin for a reason suffers from trauma. He has panic attacks that sometimes hurt him to the point that he refuses to breathe. He also suffers from nightmares that keep him awake at night. 

Mrs. Na refused visitors in the entire treatment and the security was tight, not letting anyone pass to Jaemin's room. Every little thing could trigger his anxiety and that even the doctors forbid him to meet any of s. That was the last time the Dream visited Jaemin and the first experienced a panic attack. He was transferred to a different hospital and moved his room to the VIP. It was like a penthouse where medical equipment is available for him. Jaemin was surprised about it but he learned that his father also uses that room after the Demon leaves his body. It was hard in the first month because his father was hallucinating and totally out of it. In Jaemin's case, his body takes the toll of the side effects. 

 

Jaemin has no phone or any gadgets that can help him to communicate with the outside world. Jaemin is used to it though, his childhood is not easy knowing about the curse. His being a beta helps him to lessen the side effects because he never experiences rut or heat, unlike his ancestors. Nevertheless, Jaemin's health is totally poor, and he can't handle meeting s without feeling guilty. It was an excruciating evening and no one was there to comfort him. 

 

"You're low Mr. Na," the doctor says after checking his blood pressure. He sighed and shifted his attention to the glass wall that overlooked the sunset of Seoul. It was a gorgeous view that easily took his breath away. If only he has his camera. 

 

"I'm sorry." Jaemin apologized because he felt sicker than before. The doctor scoffed but still looked at him with understanding. 

--

"Hi, baby." Mrs. Na greeted Jaemin. She dropped her bag and went to the kitchen island to open the cupboard and the refrigerator to cook for his dinner. 

 

"Mom... Can I have  chicken soup?" Jaemin asked enthusiastically, eyes still in the book he was reading for two days now. 

"Sure. I will join you today." Mrs. Na warmly smiles at Jaemin, glad that his son seems in a good mood. She silently cooks and prepares the table after letting Jaemin continue reading. 

"I have news about your members." Mrs. Na mumbled. They are already at the table, and Jaemin is eating, her brown eyes loosened up after seeing her son turn stiff. Her breathe halted for a second afraid that Jaemin's reaction. 

 

"What about them?" He asks, does not look distressed, and continues to eat from his spoon but his clasp is a lot tighter than before. Mrs. Na is sharp enough to notice her son's tense body. 

 

"They were fine. I heard that they started to attend practices and there will be a comeback next month." Mrs. Na's eyes dwindled as Jaemin's spoon accidentally dropped. She stands up to get Jaemin another spoon then looks at him with understanding. 

 

"That's... That's cool." Jaemin whispered, trying to act not affected but his stomach turned upside down. Mocking him how vicious it feels to his chest. He was happy alright. He is glad that s are healed but Jaemin can't take the idea that he was not with them. It leaves rotten wounds and bad memories.

 

"The company said that you can rest and they understood that you're still recovering from the accident. I tell you this to inform you that it was not your fault Jaems... They are fine now so I hope you focus on healing yourself so you can be with them." Mrs. Na mumbles and holds Jaemin's hand. 

They finished the dinner silently. 

--

Jaemin is not okay. He feels useless and vulnerable. He thought that maybe the reason his father was weak was that he also lost something important after the demon left his body. That the stolen life from him leaves severe damage to the people and him personally. Hurting the people that matter to you is the hardest thing to overcome and Jaemin is not close to moving on. His memories are vague, not knowing what his body did in the past brings frightening trauma to Jaemin. The looks from s that night never leave his memories. They were disappointments and sadness. Jaemin chest started to tighten. After a minute, he was out of breath the next thing he sees are the medical people checking his vitals. It's quite tough that night. Mrs. Na cried when she saw her son's sleeping body. She holds Jaemin's hand, sending her warmth. She misses her sweet angel, her baby. God, she misses Jaemin. 

--

Jaemin experienced more attacks and months turned to Year and a half. The fans are understanding of his hiatus waiting for Jaemin's comeback. Jaemin went to Japan to heal, far from the bad memories of last year. He was near a mountain and a temple. He also learned how to farm and take care of the plants. It was a peaceful day for him. His nightmares did not visit furthermore and his attacks lessened day by day until Jaemin came back to his old self. The sweet and affectionate Jaemin. He never had friends his age and got close to the middle-aged people on the farm. He is also happy living with his grandmother. 

"Your flight back to Korea is next week. Don't worry child, you are fine now." His grandmother mumbles, smiling at him while holding his both hands. 

 

"I'm still nervous," Jaemin said honestly. Thankful for the support from his grandma. 

 

"The devil still exists. I hope you never engage with them Jaemin-ah, I made an amulet. It will protect you." She said in a sweet voice, eyes are glimmering and there is sadness in her tone, worries to the child and the misfortune of their ancestry. It was never easy. 

"I will be a fine grandma. I will keep myself safe, don't worry." Jaemin touches the necklace and a smile appears on his lips. 

 

"Let's eat watermelon!" 

--

Jaemin uses a face mask and dark shades to cover his face while wearing a raven cap. He just landed in Seoul. The air is not different from Japan but Jaemin feels the nostalgia. The busy airport also brings him a memory but Jaemin is looking for his mother's assistant to fetch him. It distracted him from thinking about the past. It was a peaceful time because the press didn't know that he was finally back in Korea. Even his company had no idea that he was back. It was a secret excursion that only his family knew. Jaemin is thankful because he can easily spot his driver and was greeted by his mother's assistant. They hit the road shortly. 

 

--

Jaemin now has his new phone with a different phone number. His old phone was crashed by the accident and his mother did not bother to retrieve his old contacts. He only has a few numbers to save a contact to his phone, His mom, Grandma, and His doctor.

"Welcome back to Seoul Jaeminie," Yewon mutters in a happy tone. Her eyes glisten and inform him that his mother ordered to send Jaemin to their house. They made a conversation afterward, generally asking how he was doing in Japan. Jaemin answers her and it stops when they reach the house. 

"You can rest now. I was just one call away if you needed something. Mrs. Na is busy at the moment but she promises to join you at dinner later. Have a nice day Jaeminie." Yewon bid her goodbye after giving Jaemin a wide smile. 

--

The door in his old room opens and Jaemin is glad that nothing has changed in his room. Even his old plushie that he bought with Jeno was still on his bed. Jaemin blinks from the memories, not sure why his heart is clenched by the sudden thought of his best friend. The memories from his prior life never came back, it's like it never existed and he was like sleeping the entire time. Jaemin learned how to deal with it and now, he was no longer pessimistic about it. 

Jaemin endeavored to open a social media account. It was a different username and content and mostly posted in the Japanese language. He never posted his selfie but mostly people, plants, or views in Japan. There were notifications and Jaemin lay on his back in his soft bed, feeling how much his skin misses it. The smell also remains with the new blanket and bed sheet.

The bed appears fit to Jaemin and he relaxes after removing his glasses, facemask, and his cap. He also left his coat on the floor and let his white shirt remain on his body. It was comfortable till then. He was busy posting his last picture from Japan. It was the watermelon he shared with his grandmother. Jaemin got the notification after editing the photo and posting it. He scans the feed and widens his eyes when his pictures in the airport earlier appear on the screen. 

The picture is slightly blurred and only his side profile was taken. Fans were tweeting asking if it was Na Jaemin in the photo. The coat is familiar and the fans concluded that it was him and he was back in Korea. Jaemin frowned quickly, looking at his coat, who was at fault why did the fans know it was him and he was finally back. He plans to take it easy and later be adopted with the country that seems foreign to him. 

Jaemin scrolled through the feed and his heart raced when their official group site commented on the fan's photo. 

@/offcialNctDream 

#JENO

Is this Jaemin? :∆

#Renjun

Jaeminie?

#Chenle

Hyung... That's...

#Jisung

I need to see this.

End.

--

Jaemin bit his lips. The fans are going crazy that Jaemin is forced to close the app. It was overwhelming and Jaemin doesn't know how to deal with it. His heart thundered in his ribs and Jaemin needed to do the breathing exercise he learned from his doctor in order to calm down. He abandoned his phone afterward. Nonetheless, Jaemin continues to think about it until he falls asleep.