It’s seven-thirty and Sooyoung’s still not here.

“Jinsoul, if you don’t go soon you’ll miss the show.” She looks up at her mom who is holding up a pair of red pumps. Jinsoul reluctantly takes them and bites the inside of her cheeks to keep herself from crying. Her make-up is already done, she can’t ruin it. Putting on her heels she stands up to check herself out in the mirror one last time.

She has on a full bodysuit, with a deep v cut, and leopard print that’s just the right amount tight. A matching red belt and a dark red, studded leather jacket. She messes with her hair a bit more, Jinsoul teased it so much it’s curled inches above her head. Turning to her mom again she pouts, “I look perfect right ?” 

Her mom nods with a sad smile and reaches over to kill the top of her head. “You look amazing sweetie, are you sure you don’t wanna get someone else to go?” Jinsoul shakes her head, there was no point. Sooyoung had the other ticket and it looks like she wasn’t going to show up.

Jinsoul leaves without another word. 

~~~~

“It took you long enough where the were you.” Jennie smirks at her and hands Sooyoung a paper bag. 

The girl is furiously typing away on a computer, while simultaneously writing down notes. “Hard day?” Sooyoung gives her a look and Jennie nods her head in understandment. 

Sooyoung then starts to strip right in front of her, “you have no idea and now I’m gonna be late to meet Jinsoul, what time is it?”

Jennie checks her watch, “a lil after eight.”

The girl freezes while jerking her shirt off, “what?”

“A lil after eight o’ clock.”

Sooyoung rubs a hand down her face and curse, “oh...! I’m not gonna make it, that stupid .” The girl frantically rips the rest of her clothes off, leaving her in a pair of white underwear that Jennie snorts at. She glances around, there’s only one other person left in the office and he’s asleep. “What the ?”

Jennie turns back to Sooyoung to see the girl holding up the dress she brought her, “what? I couldn’t get into your place so I just bought something of mine, trust me, you need to broaden your horizons anyway.” Sooyoung looks at the silver cherita mini dress and then back at Jennie with a scary expression, “it’ll look good I promise, I even brought your heels and some bling.” Jennie says while holding the items in question up.

Sooyoung rolls her eyes and puts the dress on, it’s a bit short on her but she doesn't have time for other options. Jennie hands Sooyoung the heels, then the jewelry an as the girl puts earrings in, Jennie scoots forward to touch up on her makeup. Sooyoung tries to keep her face still as Jennie applies some blush and lipstick. 

When they’re finished, all in the span of, Jennie checks her clock. Six minutes. Sooyoung is already packing up to leave, “thanks, I owe you one. Coffee next week?”

Jennie smiles, even though she hates coffee. But it’s nice to see Sooyoung excited once in her life. It’s nice to see her happy. “Sure, go have fun with your girlfriend.”

Sooyoung blushes, “she’s not my...god whatever bye.” 

Jennie watches her jog out and waits until the office is quiet again. Jennie sits in Sooyoung’s chair and pretends she’s the boss for once.

Outside, Sooyoung doesn’t struggle to catch a cab with the way she looks. Jumping in as soon as one stops she doesn’t wait for small talk, “Block-Creative Venue, make it quick too. I’m in a hurry and I’ll pay double.”

The man looks at her through the rearview mirror, “you know how hard it is to drive fast at this time of the night? Traffic is crazy.” Sooyoung glares at him, “okay, okay, I’ll try my best.” Sooyoung nods as a thanks and tries to sort herself out so she doesn’t look so much like a mess. “Late for your date?”

Sooyoung thinks of Jinsoul, how the girl must have pouted this whole time. , she should have called. “Yeah.”

“Well you’re looking good, I’m sure he won’t be mad when he sees you in that dress.” Sooyoung ignores the man, and he takes the hint to shut up and drive.

However, Sooyoung hopes he’s right. She hopes Jinsoul won’t be too mad at her.

Besides, she did look amazing in Jennie’s dress.

~~~~

Jinsoul thinks this must be a heartbreak. She’s been so excited all week and Sooyoung just doesn’t show up, no call, no nothing. She stands in line sadly, trying not to cry from the utter disappointment and emptiness inside her chest.

That idiot. All she can think about is Sooyoung and if she’s okay. What if she was hurt or something? Jinsoul couldn’t stop worrying. She knew she would have more fun with Sooyoung, but Jinsoul was gonna have enough fun for the both of them.

Sooyoung wouldn’t have stood her up like this, she knows it.

Giving the ticket person her pass she’s let inside. Jinsoul slowly weaves herself through the crowd and to the spot she’s designated, only to stare at the empty spot beside her. Jinsoul clutches at her leather coat and pulls it tighter around herself. She glances around her, Jinsoul gets jealous at all the excited friends and happy couples. All sorts of people laughing and smiling. 

But she’s stuck here pouting.

Jinsoul pushes Sooyoung to the back of her mind.

~~~~

“Please just let me in for s sake!” 

“Sorry, doors closed about ten minutes ago.”

Sooyoung stares down at the ground and back up, squaring up to the man he doesn’t flinch at her threat so she gives up. Or at least, that’s what she lets him think. Her heels click on the pavement as she tries to find a fire escape. On her way there she spots a couple, the guy is trying to give this girl some flowers when Sooyoung plucks them out of his hand.

Starting to jog she apologizes, “sorry! They’re for my girlfriend!” Sooyoung lets it slip and she stares down at the flowers, girlfriend?...oh brother. Her heart races at the thought. God she wants Jinsoul. She wants every part of her. 

Finding the fire escape, Sooyoung uses her spy skills...pushing a trash can over and flipping it upside down to climb up. It’s not the easiest thing she’s done, but she’s done her fair share of running away from certain people. Balancing on the trash can is hard in heels, but she easily reaches the latter and pulls herself up.

Climbing up the steep stairs she luckily finds an open window.

It was like the universe was on her side, while the world was trying to make her fail.

Shifting inside, she sneaks around the corner. She was in an office part of the venue. There’s a bunch of phones ringing and Sooyoung can see all the tired workers moping around. 

Sooyoung’s so preoccupied with sneaking around she almost runs into someone. Standing straight up she tries to act natural, “Hi...um, Hi.” The worker looks at her funny.

“Hi, I don’t know you...what’s your name?”

Great, of course she runs into the curious one, “My name? Oh it’s…” Sooyoung looks around the office and sees a poster for a musical duo. Seulgi and Irene. “Seulgi, my name is Seulgi.” Sooyoung wants to slap herself in the forehead.

He nods his head in acknowledgement like he was rating the name. However, his eyes narrow, “wait a minute.” His gaze follows Sooyoung’s to the posters and Sooyoung does put a palm to her forehead this time. “You’re not Seulgi, I bet you’re one of those stupid reporters that snuck in to get the scoop!”

After shoving the flowers she got for Jinsoul in his face, Sooyoung starts to run again.

“GUARDS! GET HER!”

~~~~

Yukika is amazing and Jinsoul’s never heard of a Sooyoung before. “YUKIKIA I LOVE YOU!!!” Jinsoul screams with tears running down her face, jumping up and down waving her hands like she was crazy for this girl.

Well she was, and so was everyone else around her.

The singer's smile brightens the entire arena and as she jumps around on stage the crowd cheers and chants her name. The music is so much better with a live band and Yukika’s voice is heart melting. Jinsoul’s going to be a puddle by the end of this.

Jinsoul doesn’t notice the girl climbing down a stage ladder. Doesn’t notice how there are three security guards climbing down after her.

Yukika is at the edge of the stage, touching hands and Jinsoul is about to...she can’t help but look at the idiot being chased around on stage, ruining her moment with her the number 1 star in her heart.

Until she realizes it’s her idiot.

Sooyoung.

Suddenly, Jinsoul doesn’t remember Yukika. Too enamored by the site of Sooyoung flailing about dodging guards five times her size. Jinsoul’s hand is grabbed by Yukika and the girl turns her attention to the back of the stage where the blonde’s gaze is pointed. There’s a girl being chased by three pairs of meaty hands in a beautiful dress and the band slow down on the rhythm of the song.

The crowd is cheering and laughing but Jinsoul starts to smile, her heart pounding out of her chest. “T-that’s my friend! THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!” Jinsoul bounces and screams at Yukika, squeezing one of the singer’s hands between her own. “SOOYOUNG!!! SOOYOUNG!!!” 

Sooyoung turns to her and smiles widely, waving like the biggest dork and one of the security grabs her. Jinsoul cries out, almost crushing Yukika’s hand. But the singer turns to her and smiles, “that’s your friend?” Jinsoul nods frantically and Yukika her lips, “don’t worry babe I’ll save her.” Then she winks.

Yukika winks at Jinsoul. 

Jinsoul faints.

Sooyoung is clawing her nails into some older man’s face when a velvet voice echoes through the stadium, “hey hey, that’s not how we treat a girl now is it?” The security guard scoffs, “let her into the crowd let’s have a fun night tonight okay?” 

Reluctantly, with the pop-star staring at him and the crowd booing, he lets Sooyoung down. The crowd goes wild as Sooyoung is let free and she bows to Yukika who smiles at her. Sooyoung sashays to the edge of the stage and sees everyone cheering for her. But not her biggest fan.

“Hey over here!” There’s a guy holding Jinsoul and Sooyoung hops off the stage and immediately takes the blonde in her arms. She’s passed out cold. She isn’t heavy though and Sooyoung easily keeps her upright, pulling her away from the crowd and to the corner of the stage she waits for Jinsoul to come back. 

Sooyoung feels her heart still. She wipes some of Jinsoul’s sweaty baby hairs away and fixes her make-up smudges. Sooyoung doesn’t shy away from staring at Jinsoul now. Admiring all that Jinsoul is to her and the rest of this world. It even seemed Yukika, a pop-star took a liking to her by the way she kept glancing in their direction. 

Jinsoul only wants to be hers though.

Sooyoung thinks she loves Jinsoul, just a little bit. She has the smallest amount of love for Jinsoul, but still, it feels like so much, almost too much. How is she gonna survive if she falls for this girl? How is she gonna make it when her heart can’t even take this. 

This kinda love that sneaked right up onto Sooyoung without her even knowing. This girl didn’t need to knock down her walls. She walked straight past them.

Jinsoul’s eyes flutter open and it’s all Sooyoung’s ever wanted. For someone to look at her like that. Jinsoul pretends to pass out again and Sooyoung laughs, “hey! Jung Jinsoul I know you’re awake now!” Sooyoung tugs her closer to her chest. She looked beautiful tonight, Sooyoung couldn’t believe this girl had fallen into her hands. 

The blonde smacks her arm, “but you were looking at me like I was an angel!” Sooyoung shakes her head even though what she said was true. This girl was an angel to her. Jinsoul bounces up and Sooyoung throws her arms around the blonde’s shoulders, squeezing her so tight she shouldn’t be able to breathe. Sooyoung wants to keep Jinsoul forever and forever, she doesn’t want to let go.

Jinsoul’s arms fit snug around her waist as Sooyoung apologizes, “I’m so sorry, I got caught up at work and I didn’t think-“

“Shhh shut up, you’re gonna ruin the moment.” Sooyoung smiles and buries her face in Jinsoul’s shoulder, taking in the smell of the blonde’s perfume. It’s the one that Sooyoung got her, the one that was expensive but fit her so well. 

Staring at each other, they both giggle at the same time and bounce around. “God you look amazing.” Sooyoung whispers into blonde hair and Jinsoul pulls back, there’s a sparkle in her eye.

“Me!? Look at you!” She blushes at Jinsoul’s words and does a twirl for the blonde, as soon as they’re facing again, Sooyoung latches back onto Jinsoul’s shoulders. She doesn’t want to be apart from her no longer, “I missed you! I thought you ditched me!” Jinsoul says sadly while squeezing at Sooyoung’s waist.

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

She stares into Jinsoul’s eyes, it’s there and she can feel it. She’s scared but she can take it. 

God, she wants it.

Sooyoung has to have it. 

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Jinsoul’s eyes are dark when she says it. The blonde is so pretty it hurts. Sooyoung’s chest is so tight right now she feels like it’s gonna cave into itself and the only one that can save her is Jinsoul. 

Sooyoung brings her thumb up to Jinsoul’s cheek and gently rubs across it, “I want you to kiss me,” Sooyoung replies in a hushed tone. Jinsoul’s gaze flickers between her own. Then the biggest smile stretches across Jinsoul’s face and Sooyoung finally experiences what it’s like to be out of control. 

She doesn’t want to control this feeling.

She can’t stop her heart from racing.

Jinsoul’s eyes drop down to her lips and Sooyoung can’t help but to bite them. The blonde leans forward and plants her lips on her forehead instead. Jinsoul’s lips are so soft, warm, Sooyoung doesn’t think she’ll ever find anything else to make her feel this way. 

The blonde gives her every kind of kiss except the one on her lips.

Somehow, it’s still the best kisses she’s ever had.

Jinsoul repeatedly kisses her cheek now and Sooyoung grows addicted to the blonde’s lips, “you...are...so...” Between every word Sooyoung gets to experience pure heaven. She scrunches her face up happily and digs her blunt nails into Jinsoul’s sides. Every press of Jinsoul’s lips, Sooyoung leans into them. 

Their noses press together and Sooyoung isn’t even scared that there’s a crowd around them. It’s only her and Jinsoul, she feels like as long as this girl is beside her, she doesn’t have to worry about a single thing. 

Jinsoul pulls her back up to the front, only smiling at her. Sooyoung tries to memorize just how special Jinsoul’s smile is in this moment. She never wants to forget that she made Jinsoul smile like that. 

Sooyoung doesn’t pay attention to the show.

She traces the curve of Jinsoul’s jawline over and over again. 

Until it’s the only thing she knows.

~~~~

Jinsoul is basically vibrating in her hands, she’s one of four that gets to go backstage with Yukika. Sooyoung worked hard (or really played hard) to get Jinsoul this kinda packaged deal. “I’m meeting Yukika... oh my god Sooyoung you have no idea-”

A security guard pops his head out, the same one that tried to grab Sooyoung. They share a glare before Sooyoung tightens her grip on Jinsoul’s waist. “You can come on back.” They walk side by side, Sooyoung hums at all the set up and lighting, it was expensive and her brain, wired by loving technology, goes a bit tunnel vision.

She doesn’t even notice Jinsoul slipping out of her grip before she starts to feel cold from the loss of warmth. Sooyoung stares at her hand that was secured on Jinsoul’s hip sadly, since it was empty now.

Looking up she finds Jinsoul holding hands with the star herself. They’re going on and on to each other like long-lost friends. Sooyoung struggles not to roll her eyes, she can’t get jealous over a pop-star for christs sake, instead she just focuses on how cute Jinsoul is while fangirling over her favorite star.

A part of Sooyoung wishes she didn’t have to share Jinsoul, another part of her was proud that everyone loved Jinsoul. It’s what the girl deserved, she deserved the whole world. 

After ten or so minutes of the two telling each other how pretty they are, Yukika turns to Sooyoung. “Hi, your friend was really excited to see you, I was shocked myself, you had a better entrance than I did.” 

Sooyoung smiles sheepishly, “yeah sorry about that...um, Sooyoung.” She reaches her hand out to shake Yukika’s and Jinsoul glares at her like she was dumb.

The pop-star raises a brow but takes her hand anyways, “no worries, trust me, I wouldn’t go on tour if there wasn’t any fun in it. You and your friend made my night.” Jinsoul contains a squeal behind them. All heart eyes for Yukika, Sooyoung fakes a smile and lets go of the pop-star's hand. “I would regret it if I didn’t ask this, but would you like to go on the road with me for a bit? There’s something about you that I think would make the trip a lot less boring.”

Yukika is now directly talking to Jinsoul and Sooyoung goes wide-eyed. Was she just asking Jinsoul to be her groupie? Sooyoung probably looks pathetic, pleading with eyes as Jinsoul nervously looks between them. The blonde giggles and twirls her hair, “I’d love to!”

Sooyoung should go bury her grave now. The scenario plays out in her head like a horror movie. Jinsoul is gone for months, falling in love with Yukika, then having a tour romance. Sooyoung is slowly but surely forgotten about. Yukika writes a song about Jinsoul- they end up eloping because the song is so successful while Sooyoung is stuck in an office alone and-

“But I’m gonna have to say no...I, kinda have a few things here I can’t leave behind.” Jinsoul says shyly and steals a glance at Sooyoung, “thank you so much for asking though, and I know it would be amazing, it’s just-”

Sooyoung lets out a long breath, loudly at that, relieved and causes the both of them to break eye contact to stare at her. Yukika seems to notice just what Jinsoul can’t leave behind. 

“Oh, I understand. Hey if we ever cross again, I’ll make sure we’ll do something together more than this.” Yukika smirks knowingly at Sooyoung, like she was just trying to . Jinsoul nods eagerly and the popstar hugs her. Sooyoung doesn’t watch of course, giving them privacy and before she knows it she’s being dragged out by the hands. 

Jinsoul beams up at her, “god that was so weird wasn’t it!” The tone of her voice boiling with excitement. 

Sooyoung nods for agreement, “I think she was flirting with you.”

The blonde blushes clearly giddy at the fact, “really?” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and of course Jinsoul catches it, “awe is someone jealous, Sooyoung you’re still number one in my heart but come on that’s Yukika!” She says it's the most known fact in the world. 

“Is that why you said no?” Sooyoung can’t help but ask, she wants to know if she was one of the things that Jinsoul can’t leave behind. 

She wants to be. 

Jinsoul squeezes her hand and Sooyoung makes sure to focus on every feature of Jinsoul’s, just to make sure the girl doesn’t lie to her. But Jinsoul stares straight at her, her eyes are honest, soft, “I think you know exactly why I said no.” 

Sooyoung’s heart leaps to and doesn’t say anything back. In fact, she doesn’t think it’s physically possible for her to say anything back when Jinsoul lifts their joined hands and presses her lips to them. 

“I know we’re friends, but I do really like you Sooyoung. And when you look at me like that it gets my hopes up, makes me think you like me too.” 

Jung Jinsoul you have no idea.

Sooyoung glances away, like she was caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. Which, in a way she was. She promised Jinsoul she’d play fair. But how is she supposed to do that when this feels so right?

“You still want me to kiss you?”

Clenching her jaw, Sooyoung finds her eyes subconsciously moving to Jinsoul’s lips. goes dry. She craves something, it’s the taste of Jinsoul. Her heart is being tugged in two different directions however. One part is the rational, telling her this is a terrible idea. The other is Jennie’s words, replaying over and over again like a broken record.

Love is like the lottery, you can’t win it unless you take the chance. 

Sooyoung’s never been a good gambler though, “maybe.” She loves Jinsoul the tiniest bit, but it’s not enough worth risking for either of them. Sooyoung will love this girl silently, like a shadow, she can’t become this girl’s other source of light when hers has already faded. Sooyoung can’t make the same mistakes she did in the past, and she doesn’t know if she can be the right kind of lover for Jinsoul, or if it’s the wrong time.

Who is she kidding anymore...

“You wanna to, don’t you?” Jinsoul teases and when Sooyoung almost nods without even thinking the blonde leans up, they're a breath apart, but Sooyoung holds hers. “Too bad.” Jinsoul runs away from her, skipping and twirling in the street. Sooyoung stands there like an idiot, her eyes half closed and mouth parted.

She’s craving something.

Jinsoul just might be the sweetest thing she’s ever had.

She wants to taste it again.

~~~~

Somehow, they end up with Yoojung and Doyeon. “Hurry up! We gotta get to this disco before it’s crowded.” Jinsoul and Yoojung are catching up, Sooyoung picks up that the blonde talks more about her surprise entrance than the show itself, Sooyoung doesn’t let it blow her ego up however. 

Sooyoung walks behind with Doyeon. The girl doesn’t say anything for a while, walking in silence while Jinsoul and Yoojung hop around happily in front of them. They make it to the disco and sure enough it’s packed. Sooyoung feels a bit ill to her stomach as they shove their way inside.

She grabs Jinsoul’s wrist when the blonde tries to escape to the bar. Jinsoul looks up at her and stumbles closer, so that both their fronts are pressing together. “Can I take you home?” Jinsoul blushes at the question and Sooyoung is quick to backtrack, “not like that, I-”

Sooyoung wants to tell her everything, how she’s feeling, what she wants. She wants to tell Jinsoul that this isn’t a game anymore. She wants to tell Jinsoul that she’s tired of fighting this, she wants to try, no matter how dangerous it may become. She wants Jinsoul to love her.

She wants to love Jinsoul.

“I was about to say, I didn’t think it would be that easy to win, I thought you were breaking the deal we had.” Jinsoul cuts her off and teases. Sooyoung rolls her eyes even though the blonde was kinda right. She did want to take Jinsoul home, but not for that reason. 

From the moment she met Jinsoul she had no intentions of getting close to her.

Now, all Sooyoung can see is Jinsoul.

“I just want to be alone with you. Just for a little while.” Sooyoung says innocently. She knows what the blonde is thinking when her eyes gloss over a bit. She can’t...give into this desire yet. Even though it’s driving her insane. Sooyoung wants to prove that Jinsoul means more to her than that. She doesn’t want to take this any further until she’s ready. 

Jinsoul tilts her head and leans a bit closer, “okay, we can do that.” Something blooms in Sooyoung. Jinsoul has always chased after her, and she’s done running away from it.

But before they can leave, they’re separated. Yoojung begins to take Jinsoul to the bar and Doyeon slips behind Sooyoung, throwing an arm over her shoulder. “Sorry, can I borrow her for a second?” Doyeon asks Jinsoul, who’s glaring at her. 

Sooyoung smiles apologetically and Jinsoul nods, understanding and turns to walk away with Yoojung. Doyeon whispers in her ear, “we need to have a talk, playgirl.” Sooyoung grimaces and allows herself to be dragged away by Doyeon’s tight hold.

They step outside, Doyeon offers her a cigarette. “Thought you didn’t smoke?” Sooyoung asks her, before taking the offer and holding the stick to her lips while Doyeon lights it for her. 

“Neither do you, but here we are.” Doyeon flicks the lighter off and Sooyoung takes a long drag. They stand in silence for a few moments. Sooyoung her lips at the bitter taste. Car after car pulls up, groups of girls pile out of them. Men goof around while walking towards the entrance of the disco. “What are your intentions with Jinsoul?” 

Sooyoung looks up at Doyeon, daring the girl to make the assumption. She’s still the same girl, but Sooyoung’s habits are dying fast. “Not what you think they are.” She answers vaguely and Doyeon breaks their staredown.

“Don’t even know why I asked.” The taller girl mumbles out before pointing a finger at her, “I think this is what happened.” Sooyoung holds her hand out, offering for Doyeon to continue, even though she knows she’ll be wrong. “At first, you wanted nothing to do with her. She was too much for you to handle, that is, until you saw the challenge in her.” Sooyoung smiles slightly, Jinsoul was a handful, but she never saw it as a challenge, it only became an obsession for her. 

Sooyoung glances at her neglected cigarette watching it burn slowly, the ashes barely hanging on, it might rain tonight. “So you got bored and decided you were gonna pursue her. You’ve been on your best behavior for this girl to like you, to trust you. Just so you can break her like you’ve done every other one of your conquests. We both know how charming you can be, and at the same time, how cruel.” The girl finishes sarcastically. 

“That isn’t true. I don’t just...hurt anyone because I want to, because that’s what gets me off. I can’t help it the girls that I have with always want more than I can give them. The reason I haven't gone there with Jinsoul is that exact reason.” Sooyoung says. She’s never manipulated anyone. Especially not Jinsoul, that’s just what everyone assumes when she doesn’t do relationships. When she rejects the idea of commitment. Sooyoung never wanted to break anyone on purpose. 

She hopes Jinsoul doesn’t think the same.

Doyeon smiles, “yeah it’s not, is it. Trust me, people think wrong things about me too. I just wanted to check and make sure you weren't really an .” The taller girl flicks her cigarette, “Jinsoul’s not the girl that she seems to be.” Sooyoung raises a brow, “she’s tough to crack, a lot like you. She’s been messed with a lot her whole life so she doesn’t take too kindly to any fake . Extra defensive, guarded, you hardly ever catch her vulnerable. Hard to get on her good side, she won’t respect you till you show her some yourself.” 

Sooyoung keeps quiet. Tosses her cigarette down and smashes it with her heel. She hates smoking after all.

“It’s not easy to get her, not a lot of people take the time to do that. But you did. Once you get past all that...fire that she has, she’s pretty amazing isn’t she?”

Doyeon explains, she’s sincere with her words and Sooyoung knows she cares about her. “She trusts you, likes you a lot and at first I had no idea why. I thought you were just messing with her.” Jinsoul was too much at first for Sooyoung, but now it isn’t enough. “It’s because you actually like her, more than you’ve ever liked anyone else. When all those other girls made the mistake in thinking you liked them but...this thing you got with Jinsoul, means a lot to you doesn’t it?”

Sooyoung bites the inside of her cheek and nods her head. She looks at Doyeon, pleading, she knows exactly what’s going on inside her head. She wonders if Doyeon has always been this thoughtful, observant. Sooyoung wants to know the best way she can go about this. 

“You take her more seriously than anyone else does. You understand her like any of us never could, hell, Yoojung is even confused sometimes and they’re up each other's .” Doyeon admits, even though she hates being on Sooyoung’s side. She’s gotta hand it to this girl. Most people wouldn’t be this patient with Jinsoul. But Sooyoung took her time to do it right. “You don’t want to hurt her, but you like her so much you don’t think you can stop yourself from letting something happen.” 

Sooyoung rubs a hand down her face. Hates how everything that comes out of Doyeon’s mouth has truth to it.

“You don’t trust her, do you? Not yet at least.”

Sooyoung thinks for a moment, she feels safe with Jinsoul...but does she trust her? Apparently the hesitation is an answer on it’s own. “If you don’t trust her, don’t you think one of you will end up getting hurt, no matter how much you don’t want it to happen?” While Jennie was her voice of hope, it seems to crumble down with Doyeon’s voice of reason. “Now, you don’t have the guts to fully reject her, because you don’t want to. And you’re dragging her along on a thin string.” 

“I want to try.” Sooyoung suddenly says, “don’t I owe her that? To at least try.”

Doyeon smiles at her, the first time she’s ever smiled sincerely at Sooyoung. “Tell her the truth, Jinsoul’s a nice girl after all. She’ll understand, she’ll wait a while longer.” 

“I don’t think I can keep leading her on like this. She...it’s hard to keep rejecting her when all I want to do is be with her. All I want to do is give her everything.”

The taller girl hums and flicks her cigarette away, “hmm, start something that might end hurting one of you,” Doyeon then raises a brow at her, “or wait until you’re ready for something that may last. I think you know what you should do Sooyoung.” 

Sooyoung knows what she has to do now. She has to trust Jinsoul. Right now...it’s not there yet. She doesn’t think she could tell Jinsoul all her secrets. Sooyoung hopes that Jinsoul understands. She hopes Jinsoul doesn’t get tired of waiting and leaves like everyone else has in her life.

But something makes Sooyoung doubt that.

When Jinsoul has chased after her all this time. Sooyoung doesn’t think this girl will back down. Sooyoung knows Jinsoul must be the right girl for her. So she wants to be the right girl for Jinsoul, even if it takes time.

She wants to be. God she wants to be the right girl for her. 

Sooyoung has to be.

She will be.

“Doyeon Jesus what are you all doing?!” Sooyoung jumps at the sound of Yoojung's voice. Doyeon shoves the lighter and cigarettes into her tummy and greets her girlfriend with a loving kiss. Sooyoung wants that, she’s wishing for it.“What were you two talking about?” Yoojung groans, “you all were out there too long and I can’t find Jinsoul.” She hears the girl mumble to Doyeon. Sooyoung crumbles the packet in her hand, tossing it to the ground before playing with the lighter.

After a second or two, she walks off.

Doyeon shrugs, watching Sooyoung’s retreating form carefully, “giving relationship advice.”

Her girlfriend glares at her.

“What?”

“God Doyeon, stop getting into people’s business! You’re gonna make Sooyoung scared to death and she’s never gonna ask out Jinsoul!” 

“Isn’t that the point?”

Yoojung pinches the bridge of her nose, “Ugh no, babe look, you need to let them figure it out themselves. I feel like Sooyoung is sensitive or something, anything you tell her she’ll take it to heart.” 

Scratching the back of her head, Doyeon sheepishly replies. “I don’t want her hurting Jinsoul.” Yoojung looks up at her softly, and reaches to hold one of her cheeks. Doyeon leans into the touch.

“Doyeon, I’ve hurt you before. More than I should have but we figured it out. We’re okay.”

Yoojung sighs and looks away and suddenly Doyeon feels like an . Maybe it would hurt Jinsoul more if nothing ever did happen. Maybe she would move on before Sooyoung ever trusted her. “Okay, whatever....”

Her girlfriend rolls her eyes and grabs her hand. “Come on, let’s find Jinsoul.” 

~~~~

Jinsoul is dancing her off. In the middle of the crowd she dances with many people, girls, guys, god even now she’s dancing with the DJ, cheering him on as he plays remixed disco tracks. 

Currently beside him, as he expertly spins the track, she looks for Sooyoung. The whole time she’s been searching for her and well it’s like she’s disappeared, like a ghost. 

The DJ bumps her, “hey, baby, you want some?” Jinsoul looks down at one long pinky nail, white powder stuffed into it.

Her eyes widen and she gives him a nervous smile. “Errr no thanks!” The DJ shrugs and lifts it to his nose, inhaling strongly and shaking his face afterwards. Jinsoul quietly shuffles away from the stand and back into the crowd. Slowly, her energy starts to fade, since Sooyoung basically disappeared and she can’t find any of her friends. 

She spots a familiar looking face and thanks whoever is out there for making Doyeon so tall. Jinsoul narrows her eyes as she notices the two are arguing. Shoving her way through bodies she grabs onto Yoojung’s arm, “hey! I’ve been looking for you all forever!” 

They both ignore her, continuing to argue for whatever reason. While Yoojung talks a mile a minute Doyeon just stares at her. 

“Helloooo?” They both turn to look at her for a second, then they’re back to pretending that she doesn't exist. “Where’s Sooyoung?” Suddenly, Yoojung stops talking and Doyeon’s face pales. 

Jinsoul watches them as they communicate without the words and Doyeon keeps tipping her head to the side. “I don’t wanna tell her!” Yoojung whispers under her breath but as Doyeon persists she reluctantly turns around, “um we think she dipped!” 

Instantly, the smile on Jinsoul’s face drops. 

“She felt sick.” Doyeon excuses and Jinsoul rolls her eyes.

“Bull.” She pushes through the two to exit out of the disco. She has a lifetime to dance, but only one night to confess to Sooyoung once again. She’s not giving back the invitation Sooyoung gave her.

It feels like her only chance.

~~~~

Of course, as Jinsoul’s luck couldn’t get any worse, it started to storm.

“Oh this is so ing unfair.” Jinsoul says to herself as rain continues to pour down on her. She had no money to get a cab, and she isn’t entirely sure where she’s going. 

Soon enough she sees the familiar signs, the ones she memorized that lead her to Sooyoung’s apartment. She remembered them since the first night she followed the girl home.

It seems like she was destined to follow Sooyoung home. Just like she has now.

Jinsoul is pissed but can’t help but to skip through the rain, even though her hair, makeup and damn, her whole outfit is being ruined by the weather. But that doesn’t come close to comparing to the feeling of Sooyoung’s lips on hers.

She thinks she’ll be experiencing that feeling again. 

Jinsoul bites her lip and giggles. Jinsoul knows she has to break the deal, she’ll have to suffer the consequences, but really is it such a bad thing if she gets to have Sooyoung?

Finally, Jinsoul thinks. No matter what, she’ll have Sooyoung. Maybe for one night. Maybe for one week, month, year. 

Maybe forever.

It doesn’t matter, she’s gotta have her one way or another. Jinsoul wants her like nothing she’s ever wanted before.

Sooyoung can hurt her. Jinsoul’s done plenty of preparation. She’s ready for anything to happen. The only thing that cannot happen though is them ending on bad terms.

Jinsoul promised that she wouldn’t stop being friends with her no matter what happened. That was in the deal, there was no fine print, no signatures. But a deal is a deal. Pinky-promises meant more to Jinsoul than contracts that could be shredded.

It’s not like Jinsoul could ever leave Sooyoung alone anyways.

Poor girl, Jinsoul thinks, she’s stuck with her forever, kind of. It’s just the way she’s stuck with her. Jinsoul shivers at the thought. She has an idea what might happen when she meets Sooyoung at her apartment.

It could go one or two ways.

Sooyoung is sweet to her, maybe does some patching up, warm tea, stuff like that.

Or, Jinsoul is...well warmed up in another way.

Either option is great, if they could do both that would be even better. 

Jinsoul is trembling with anticipation. She’s anxious to see Sooyoung, she can’t believe how much she already misses her. She guesses it’s because they started something they haven’t finished and Jinsoul’s not the patient type.

Even though the rain is cold, Jinsoul’s never felt hotter.

She doesn’t know how it’s possible to feel everything while Sooyoung isn’t around her. It’s going to be over-stimulating when she sees the girl. 

Jinsoul’s already sensitive.

A man walks past her and Jinsoul desperately asks, “you wouldn’t happen to have some spare change would you? I need to make a call.” The man looks at her sadly, like she was pitiful but Jinsoul is beeming, she feels so alive.

He gives her a few coins, “you lost?”

Jinsoul shakes her head, “I know exactly where I’m going.” She leaves him behind and jogs to the nearest pay phone.

She easily types in the numbers, she memorized them of course.

The phone rings a few times, a soft voice answers. “Hello?”

Jinsoul smiles ear to ear, “baby it’s me.” 

She hears Sooyoung’s voice hitch on the other line and then there’s a shallow breath. “Jinsoul...” Jinsoul giggles into the line and squeezes the phone between her hands.

“Can you remind me where you live again? I want to see you. Really...I mean really...bad.”

“Yeah?”

Sooyoung’s voice is wavering, and a bit hoarse. Jinsoul loves that she’s the cause of that.

“Yeah.”

~~~~

Standing in front of Sooyoung’s door shouldn’t be this scary. Jinsoul goes to knock three times but chickens out. She’s never been this nervous around someone. Jinsoul’s also never liked someone this much.

What she doesn’t know is on the other side of the door, Sooyoung has her forehead pressed to the wood, waiting...and waiting…

Jinsoul wipes her sweaty hands on her clothes and she remembers that she’s wet. In some ways she wouldn’t like to admit, even to herself.

It’s not entirely the rain's fault, Sooyoung has a part in ruining her clothes too. She goes to knock on the door again but it swings open. Sooyoung is standing there awkwardly. 

Jinsoul takes her in, slowly, all the details of her, so she can remember this night vividly. Sooyoung’s hair is half pulled up, she has a tank top on and pajama shorts. They’re extremely short and Jinsoul’s eyes travel posessively all the way down and all the way back up smooth, tan legs.

Her eyes crawl back up and she notices Sooyoung isn’t wearing a bra. Jinsoul smirks, Sooyoung must be happy to see her judging by the way her-

“Uh...hey.”

Jinsoul peaks up from where she was drooling over Sooyoung. Brown eyes, now pitch black. Sooyoung’s cheeks are red and she’s chewing on her bottom lip, it’s swollen and Jinsoul knows she’s been doing that for a while.

The blonde wonders if Sooyoung was biting down to remember how it felt when she bit them all that time ago.

“Hey.” Jinsoul replies back, Sooyoung’s staring at her. Mostly at her lips. But sometimes her eyes dart down and then back up. “Like what you see?”

There’s a tiny noise that comes out of Sooyoung as she grips the door tighter. “Oh shut up.” 

Their eyes meet and god, Jinsoul wouldn’t change anything about this moment. Well, one thing, she wishes they were closer. Much, much closer. Close enough they couldn’t tell the difference between their bodies. Jinsoul knows how to change that though. “Make me.” Jinsoul tilts her head and Sooyoung clenches her jaw. 

Sooyoung doesn’t make a move so Jinsoul steps closer, so close that she feels the hot breath from the girl’s lips. “What about the rules Jinsoul? If one of us broke them.” Every word has a shake to it and Jinsoul reaches to walk some of her fingers up Sooyoung’s tummy. Jinsoul can feel the sharp take of air Sooyoung takes at the touch.

She walks her fingers all the way up, sliding her palm up Sooyoung’s chest and throat, squeezing at the tightness there before cupping the girl’s chin. She wonders if Sooyoung’s heart is pounding as hard as hers. Jinsoul presses her thumb to Sooyoung's lips and gasps when it’s kissed, she thinks they both know the answer to that question.

Pressing her thumb into Sooyoung’s lip’s harder, she whispers out, “ the rules baby.” 

The lines blur there. Seconds don’t feel excruciatingly long anymore. Because Jinsoul’s pulled by the back of her neck, more like the hair on her head into Sooyoung’s apartment. Their lips collide desperately, like the both of them have been waiting all their life to do this.

Sooyoung kisses her in a rhythm and it’s messy at the same time. Her lips feel so right against hers. And by the way Sooyoung moans into , Jinsoul knows she thinks that too. The kiss is warm, it’s soothing, and really too much.

It’s too much for Jinsoul.

So, she lets it consume her. 

Jinsoul continues to let Sooyoung’s mouth slide against hers, she keeps sharing a breath with her every few seconds, when she can’t hold it any longer she lets Sooyoung taste her lips. And Jinsoul hopes Sooyoung likes the taste. She hopes she gets addicted to it.

She hopes it’s her favorite flavor.

She feels everything from the kiss, it feels like more than Jinsoul’s ever done. Nothing has ever made her heart hurt like this, it’s exceeded all her expectations in the best possible way.

Sooyoung isn’t rough with her. The girl’s hands squeeze at her waist and her teeth gently nip at her lips whenever they’re out of air. Sooyoung pulls away, and whispers into her, “off. This needs to be off.” She doesn’t need to clarify because somehow, the soft groan Sooyoung lets out makes Jinsoul understand what she wants.

Taking off her jacket, Sooyoung fumbles around with the small zip on her back, so she can get her bodysuit off. While Jinsoul tries to help her, she leans her head back, allowing Sooyoung to kiss across her cheek, planting what feels like little slices of heat against her jawline. 

Jinsoul hisses when Sooyoung right behind her jaw, below her ear, she bites there as well. Jinsoul makes a louder noise, almost embarrassing with how needy it was. 

But she doesn’t care, Jinsoul knows Sooyoung likes being needed.

So every noise is honest and Sooyoung kisses lower and lower, as she slowly peels the wet fabric off Jinsoul’s body.

Sooyoung presses her lips on Jinsoul’s skin, in so many places she starts to feel numb and tingly at the same time, then she her way up. Jinsoul pants at how good it feels. 

Jinsoul pushes her and they’re stumbling towards the couch. She’s backed into it and Sooyoung stands in front of her, and grips her by the chin. “I didn’t think you would come.” Sooyoung tells her, and her eyes are so glossy, it masks the lust and desire in them. For something deeper than that. Than any of this. 

Sooyoung cares about her.

“Of course,” Jinsoul replies and kicks the rest of her clothes off, leaving her only in her , “I’m pissed that you left me, of course I came.”  

Sooyoung frowns, “I’m sorry I was...um sick” Jinsoul’s chin is tilted up and Sooyoung’s grip lowers to her jaw. The girl kisses her deeply, a single sensual kiss and pulls away. Sooyoung stares at her, like she’s making sure she doesn’t disappear. Then repeats the kiss over and over again.

Jinsoul asks between one of them. “Don’t you want me, is that why you left?” Jinsoul leans forward as much as she can and kisses Sooyoung’s tummy, and toys with the waistband of her shorts. 

“How can you ask that?” Sooyoung grumbles out, “I have, for so long, Jinsoul. I’ve wanted you so ing bad for the longest time.” The tone of her voice deepens, every word is hoarse, full of rasp that just proves how Sooyoung has fought this for so long. 

Jinsoul starts to pull down Sooyoung’s shorts and the grip on tightens. “Do you know how many nights of sleep I lost because of you?” Sooyoung seems dizzy with want, her expression is so vulnerable and Jinsoul kisses the girl’s hip bones.

“I think about you all the time...I can’t stop thinking about you. You are always in my head day and night.” Sooyoung admits and climbs onto Jinsoul’s lap, straddling her thighs, the heat that embraces Jinsoul is borderline painful. And instantly, it makes sense to Jinsoul. It’s at that moment there’s no coming back. Sooyoung clings to her and Jinsoul holds on tight, she’ll never let this girl go. 

There’s something in the way Sooyoung looks down at her, like she’s the only thing that exists. Jinsoul loves the way Sooyoung fits into her, she loves that she can hold her and make her breath short. Jinsoul loves that she’s the reason Sooyoung is so desperate to be touched, to be kissed. It makes her head spin. 

Jinsoul’s dreamed of being wanted this much.

Fingers press at Jinsoul’s lips and she lets them inside. They slide against her, pressing into her tongue, and Jinsoul them with the slightest amount of pressure. “So many nights Jung Jinsoul.” 

Sooyoung’s fingers slide out and down her body, “so many nights thinking about your eyes, your lips. How ing pretty you are.”

Jinsoul loves the way Sooyoung sounds crazy.

“Keep talking.”

“So many nights I was wishing that you were the one touching me instead.”

“Sooyoung.”

“Touch me, please. So I don’t have to keep wishing.” She says it so desperately, pleading. Jinsoul does as she’s told.

Her hands start high, they inch lower and lower. Sliding over every goosebump and any curve that Jinsoul can find. She doesn’t want to stop looking into Sooyoung’s eyes, but she wants to see what she’s feeling. Letting her gaze flicker down, Jinsoul sighs, “oh my god I think i’m gonna pass out.” Sooyoung lightly laughs but then gasps when Jinsoul’s hands reach even lower. 

The girl on her lap curls into her, and Jinsoul has to settle with burying her face into her chest. Now she’ll have to see with her hands. But it’s no problem, Sooyoung’s soft to the touch. So soft that it tears through every inch of Jinsoul’s heart.

Sooyoung’s tiny in her hold, she’s shaking. Jinsoul thinks this girl has been cold all her life because she melts in her arms. Jinsoul will make sure Sooyoung never freezes again. She will make sure she’s always warm.

“Why did you leave me?”

Jinsoul asks, with the mistake of making the question mean more to her than what it seems. She wants Sooyoung to tell her she’d never hurt her again.

Sooyoung pants into the curve of , “I don’t know.” Fingertips ghost across her spine, “I’m sorry Jinsoul, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Jinsoul holds her closer, the feeling of Sooyoung’s skin against hers is all she’s ever wanted. “I’ll make it better, I promise I’ll make it better. I won’t stop until it’s okay, even if it takes all night I won’t stop.” 

Jinsoul sighs as Sooyoung’s words crawl across her skin.

“I won’t hurt you again.”

It doesn’t matter to Jinsoul. She’d give this girl her heart to break into a million different pieces. Jinsoul doesn’t have the self-control anymore, not when giving it feels this good. She doesn’t have the strength to deny what isn’t good for her. Something this bad shouldn’t make her feel things she’s never felt before. Things she might never feel again.

Pulling away, Jinsoul looks into Sooyoung’s eyes and searches. She finds what she's searching for. And asks one more time. “Do you want me?” Jinsoul stares into her and Sooyoung doesn’t even have to say it.

This girl can’t lie. 

It’s in her eyes, the truth.

It’s always been.

Finding Sooyoung’s lips again she presses her words into them. It’s more than a promise. It’s always been more than a promise.

“Then give it to me Sooyoung.”

~~~~

omg...I’m sorry you guys

I had to update this tonight Bc tomorrow is gonna be horrible for me so….yasss! See you all next week on Friday lots of love as always MWAH