"I regret giving birth to you"

The exact sentence my mom said to me last night just because I forgot to do housework.

I hate my life. There is no reason for me to live. I'm just really wondering about my existance. Why does the universe hate me? Well, I have yet to find out. 

I took out my blade and slid it across my wrist beside the scars that healed. No pain. Not even close to how much pain that sentence made me go through. Blood oozed out of the slit and i continued pushing the blade deeper into my skin. I cringed in pain. No pain. 

My mind soon became a blur as I started to feel as though my soul was slowly being out of my body and soon enough everything out.

My life flashed past me. All the pain, insults and mistreatment I went through. 

"Haeun I'm so sorry"

The exact sentence my mom said when I woke up. What a liar. I know that she says these type of things to trick me into trusting her but I've learnt just to roll with it. 

I looked to my mom. The familiar weird smell infiltrated my lungs and soon enough I realised that I was in a hospital. Third time this month. 

I noticed someone was standing at the door. Mingyu. 

"Eomma, can I have some alone time with Mingyu?"

With saying that,my mom left and Mingyu strolled into the room, hands dug into his pockets. I smiled weakly at him, hoping he'd acknowledge the fact that I appreciated his presence. He smiled back. 

"How long have I been knocked out for?"

"Quite long if you consider 2 days long,"

"What did she say this time?"

I turned away,clearly not wanting to discuss anything about that . Mingyu sat beside me and turned my head towards his direction using his pointer finger. He kissed my lips before asking once again. I sighed and replied to him. 

"She said she regretted giving birth to me,"

He then patted my head and kissed my forehead and whispered,

"It'll be alright. I will be here for you,"

This was the reason I loved Kim Mingyu. Other than being unbelievably handsome and getting good grades, Mingyu had the purest heart there was. He always comforted me whenever I felt like my world was crashing down and sometimes he would just cuddle with me and his presence could just cheer me up. I never regretted falling in love with him. He is my pillar of hope. 

*flashback*

"I don't care about life anymore!You can't stop me!"

I shouted as I stood at the edge of the school building,ready to jump off. 

"There is more to life than what you go through! It's just a minor setback!You deserve to live Haeun!"

Mingyu retorted,grabbing my wrist and pulling me into his arms. I looked into his eyes. I saw eyes full of compassion and sincerity. My heart couldnt help but soften while looking into his eyes. They were truly mesmerizing. 

"I love you Haeun, you're too beautiful to die young. You have things to discover, things to experience. It would be a total waste for you to just kill yourself. I believe that you are better than this!"

Mingyu confessed, and a smile slowly crept onto my face. I had waited a year for this moment to come. 

It all started in year one of high school when I met Kim Mingyu. He was the first person I ever talked to or even met. I was lonely. I starved myself. I had many suicide attempts and I had no friends till he came into my life. He was my ray of hope to my dark life. He always reminded me to stop cuttingmyself but I still continued. He always gave me a hug when I looked like I needed one. He was always there to make me smile even on my moody days. He was always there for me when I needed someone unlike my mother, who was the main reason for my depression. 

"Haeun,I really love you but you really need to stop doing this to yourself. I really seeing you in this state. So fragile I can't bear to part with you,"

I looked at the gaping wound in my hand. Mingyu rubbed the area around it with his thumb soothingly. I could still feel the stinging pain and Mingyu stopped rubbing when he saw my expression falter. 

"We'll get through this. You just have to start through baby steps. Starting with this,"

He said,showing me my wrists. He embraced me and tears started falling from my eyes. I couldnt help it. He was so perfect. 

"Gyu, thank you so much. Ill try to change for the better. For us,"

I sniffled, staining Mingyu's uniform. We stayed in this position for about 10 minutes, until my mom stepped in. 

"Haeun, we need to talk."