Once

Minho/Krystal; Sehun/Krystal; Minho/Sulli; Romance/Angst; ~1,900w

Because Soojung’s heart died once and she lived like a ghost since then.

;

Soojung closes the book with a sigh. She thinks that it was, indeed, a good read just like what her dear friend Jinri had said. She was the one who recommended the book and even told her she cried chapter by chapter.

But Soojung tries to think if ever there was wrong with her, with her heart or with her emotion. (People say) It was a sad ending, for both of the main characters of the story, but Soojung did not cry a tear. Not even once.

Her opinion was different compared to the others, that the ending is not a sad thing people should cry over. It was death that separated the young couple because of cancer both had. It was an expected turn of event, in one way or another, someone will die because of it and it was just a matter of time that one of them would leave. Both know it and they even did the most out of it and spend each moment at the best they can.

She thinks that death is a natural occurrence, that everyone will have that same ending. She thinks that dying is pretty normal. And that there is no sense crying over with the death of a character.

“Augustus and Hazel did not have a sad ending. Both loved each other. They spent the remaining days together and I don’t see anything that is sad or to cry for about it. Dying is the default ending for everyone.” Soojung sends an e-mail to Jinri, who is probably at her ballet class by now (it is summer) teaching little girls to dance gracefully at the sound of music.

She pushes her back against her chair and plays with it, twirling in circles and rolling backward and forward again.

Soojung leans to the side, pouting and, thinks about the novel. She envies Hazel too much, she decides.

And she thinks that she likes that type of ending more than anything else.

;;

Soojung spends the rest of summer reading novels and writing and drinking. Most of the nights she sleeps peacefully with her favorite pajamas on (it’s going to be two years before she reaches thirty) after finishing novels written by her favorite author  while there are nights she spends in a bar together with her drinking buddies, the same people she usually sees at her favorite bar, as she wakes up the next morning with few and very short memories of what happened while she was drunk, if fortunate, or even with no memory at all as to how she reached her home safely, without tripping (and having some scratches) because, it is a given fact that, Soojung trips a lot when she’s drunk.

But she never minds at all, she never asks her drinking buddies. As if they even care.

Her life turns out to be like that.

Soojung is woken up by a buzz at her door the next morning. Feeling a bit dizzy from last night’s party, she goes towards it and reaches for the knob.

“Hey, Krystal. Good morning.” Minho appears at her door; Soojung expects him.

“I… attended a party last night. I forgot….” She tells him her excuse (Soojung always has excuses, everyone knows it), drawing her hand in circles at the thin air between them and leads him in her flat.

“It is not a wonder Krystal is drunk the night before the first day of her second year in law school.” Minho teases, taking his seat, while Soojung just ignores, heading towards her bedroom, shutting her door close, and prepares herself for law school.

Soojung finally finishes up, wearing her old jeans and an oversized shirt with her hair tied in a messy bun like she is in her early twenties, free and unmindful. She rarely goes out without make- up on (as far as everyone is concerned, Soojung was an assistant manager of their family business before she decides to enter law school and she is expected to look professional as she really is) but as of the moment, Soojung feels like she’s still feeling ‘drunk’, her eyelids heavy and feels her stomach turning every second or so, and she thinks there is no point making yourself pretty when you feel ugly as hell inside.

“You don’t look like you were drunk at all.” Minho (always) compliments her.

Soojung grabs her bag by the door as a smile escapes from her lips. Minho follows behind.

She walks with Minho from her apartment and down towards the road. Minho talks about his favorite football team along the way; Soojung just nods, not understanding a thing about what her friend is saying, and steals glances at him, enjoying.

He talks about things she does not understand but Soojung never complains because she loves it when he’s talking.

After a block, both of them see Jinri patiently waiting in front of her