HENRY

The whole time I was in United States doing my fan signs, there was something that happened to me that I can’t even explain. The whole time I was there and enjoying the environment all I could think about was how good it would be to be here with her.

We’ve been in US together for SM Town tours but maybe I don’t want us to go here as South Korean idols. I don’t want us to go here as singers under one company. I don’t want us to go here worrying if the fans will like our performances or not.

To be honest, I don’t want to be an idol if it means it would always be like this between us.

I landed earlier than expected and with the phone in my hand I quickly punched in her number, but then I hesitated. I am afraid that I might kiss her if I see her and that would create awkwardness and I don’t like that to happen. She is that one person I can’t live without.

I reached my apartment and dropped off my baggage.

I sighed in defeat, not knowing what to do. I called the person that I know can help me in this time, “Hyung, what should I do?”

“Henry-ah, what’s the problem.”

“You know the problem, hyung. I feel like I can’t contain it anymore. I’m afraid that I would explode anytime now.”

Kyuhyun hyung sighed on the other side of the phone. I know I shouldn’t burden him like this, “I don’t know how I can help you, Henry. I just want to let you know one thing, listen to your heart. That’s what made you come here in Korea in the first place, that’s what made the ELFs love you. That’s what made you be who you are today.”

To be honest, that only made the dilemma even more difficult.

I love my fans, I love what I do but an idol that dates doesn’t really look good in this industry. There are a lot of idols who ruins their career because of dating. And as much as I want to open up and confess everything, I am still wary of what might happen in the long run.

I… no, the both of us have come so far to throw everything away just because of my stupid feelings.

Bangbangbang bang bangbangbang!

She’s here. I stood up not knowing what to do, “One second!”, I called out. After I have slightly calmed my nerves I opened the door to see a cheeky grin welcomed me.

She hugged me tightly. I carried her slightly inside to close the door. “You really missed me, huh?”, I teased to abstain my stirring heart.

She gave me her signature smirked and my world exploded at that. She went directly to my kitchen and rummaged through my package from US, the place I longed to be alone with her.

“Sour patch kids!”, she exclaimed with her eyes sparkling. I laughed at her dorkiness. I’m dead.

“Why didn’t you call when you landed? I could’ve welcomed you to the airport.”, she asked. I know that she will be curious because I just broke our long time routine. I quickly made up a reasonable excuse and gladly she bought it.

“Okay, but can’t you even text me at least?”, I pouted.

At this moment, I swear my whole world stopped and all I can see is her lips and how soft and sweet it would be.

My heart pounded so loud that I am sure she hears it. It’s a feeling that I can’t help but. It’s a thing that I can’t do anything about. It’s the secret that I’ve been keeping all this time.

“You really missed me that much, llama?”, I am surprised that I didn’t stutter.

I removed her cap and messes with her hair. Even though I missed her long hair, I still want her anyways. It’s the charm of Amber that even I can’t resist.

Before she could even hit me I hugged her tightly. Something that I’ve wanted to do ever since I first felt this longing. I stared at her beautiful eyes and taking in all of her. I glanced at her lips, oh what a beautiful thing! Not long I started to lean in to her, I just can’t help myself. One kiss, I just need one kiss.

Finally our lips met and not a thousand fireworks can compare to this. Not a thousand comebacks, not a thousand albums can compare to this. It’s like coming home to somewhere you really belong.

She pulled away, biting her lips, and removed my arms from her. That’s when I snapped back to reality. What did I do?, I was left stunned.

I looked at her and something became different. No… this is not what I wanted. This is not what I was hoping for.

She stood up after long and I stood there worrying, what have I done?

 “What? No, I’m sorry. I just—“, he stuttered.

“It’s okay Henry oppa. I’ll come back again.”, she gave me a cheeky smile that I always adore.

I should let it go, I thought. I smiled at her and nodded.

I wonder how long should I suffer like this. I don’t want her to get hurt because of what I’m feeling. I don’t want her to be affected in any way.

As much as I love music, Amber is so important to me too so I can’t help it. I guess all I can do is to admire her from afar, after all I asked for is just one kiss.