Being a South Korean idol has its pros and cons. Many think that when you live such a glamorous life then you wouldn’t want anything more, but that’s not the case.

You have to mask everything, to what you really feel, to what you really want to say, to who you really love.

It may be ironic to say this because I am an idol myself but I don’t want to be an idol.

After an hour of practicing for our comeback, Vic –eomma called for a break and monitoring. She commented some glitches on choreography and what should it be. I listened to her subconsciously for my focus was on my phone. He is not usually this quiet.

“Amber, are you okay?”, Luna called me and I just nodded at her and gave her a cheeky smile.

He just came back from his fan meet in US and I’m expecting to hear from him sooner rather than later. I even heard about his landing from the internet.

“Manager-nim, just drop me off here. I’ll stop by Henry oppa’s place.”

The other members are asleep besides me and Vic-eomma, “Is he in Korea already?”

“He just arrived but I don’t know why he didn’t call me yet.”, I said glancing at my phone again.

Vic-eomma gave me a knowing smirk.

“What?”

“Just be careful of your heart, llama.”, and with that the van stopped and I climbed off.

I always find time to drop by Henry oppa’s place. It’s like an unwritten agreement between us that once a week either he or I will go to each other’s home. It was always a good time between us.

Bangbangbang bang bangbangbang, I knocked

“One second”, he said and I don’t know why but my nerves suddenly calmed down at the sound of his voice.

He opened the door and I feel like I just had a burst of fresh air. I shook the thought and greeted him, “Oppa!!” and gave him a bear hug.

He holds me and dragged me inside, keeping the hug, as he closed the door to his apartment. “You really missed me, huh?”

I pulled away and smirked at him, “You wish, I just came for your food.”, pushing him aside I went directly to his kitchen. “What did you brought home from US?”

Henry silently followed me to the kitchen filled with goods. My eyes sparkled as I went through the package. “Sour patch kids!”, I exclaimed and Henry laughed at me.

“I know you would like that.”, he sat on his new chair. He likes to design furniture and the chair he’s sitting is a new item added to his ever-growing collection.

I raised a brow at him, “Why didn’t you call when you landed? I could’ve welcomed you to the airport.”, I said while munching on a sour patch.

“Well, I figured you would be busy since you guys are preparing for your comeback.”, he shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, but can’t you even text me at least?”, I pouted.

He approached me and removed my cap, messing with my hair, “You missed me that much, llama?” and before I even push him as I usually do. He hugged me, tightly. He stared at me longingly and I swear I can see something unusual in his eyes. Unusual but warm. Before long I can feel us leaning closer to each other. Is this what I think it is? I can’t think of anything when I felt his lips on mine. It’s home. It was euphoric

I can hear my heart pounding too fast but no… It shouldn’t be like this.

I pulled away and removed his arms from me, “Eyy… don’t be like that.”, I whined and snatched the sour patches and went to the living room, leaving Henry like that in the kitchen.

After a few awkward glances, I got readied to go home, “I’ll just come back when you’re feeling okay. It must be the jetlag, oppa.”

“What? No, I’m sorry. I just—“, he stuttered.

“It’s okay Henry oppa. I’ll come back again.”, I gave him my cheeky smile to tell him I’m okay and he did not need to worry about me. He smiled at me, the first time today, and nodded.

I did not show it but I seriously wanted to get out of the apartment quickly but at the same time I wanted to stay for him. Once I was out and Henry closed the door, I let out a deep sigh. I put my hand on my chest, it’s still pounding hard. I wonder if he even heard this pounding in my chest.