In the early hours of the morning, tranquillity enveloped the house. The only sound that could be heard was of a rusty old ceiling fan that whirred in the bedroom.

A look of turbulence was apparent on Ji eun’s face as the sunlight crept in and landed on her disturbing her sleep. Her eyes unconsciously squeezed tighter as she rolled to her side; her back shielding her from the blinding light.

She tried to force herself back to sleep again for it was still inhumanely early for her; especially after the night she’d to go through, but it only seemed that Mother Nature was as merciless as a certain latter that didn’t let her rest for a good hour.

Speaking of a certain latter…

In reluctance, Ji eun’s eyes slowly fluttered open; blinking in the process to be adjusted to the light. She peeked to her side and, as expected, found Yongguk lost in dreamland.

It occurred to her that she wouldn’t mind selling her soul to the devil itself if it meant not waking up to the sight of him next to her.

His dishevelled black hair contrasted with the whiteness of the pillow, and his lips were parted a little allowing faint snores to escape them. His face looked relaxed; the scowl that was always painted on his face was nowhere in sight now.

Scanning him with her droopy eyes, she found herself reminiscing the times when she got to witness his peacefulness more frequently.

Yongguk wasn’t categorized as handsome, but there was a time, a while before when kindness was written all over his face. Back then, he looked like the man that would offer protectiveness and shelter to whomever he loved, and it was this that’s gotten her to concede and marry him.

Whoever said that looks were deceiving has obviously gotten that right because Yongguk’s offered nothing but insecurity and fear.

She bit her lip involuntarily to stop it from trembling vigorously as events from last night flashed in her mind. She can remember vividly every inch of her body would probably end up leaving a scar… to haunt her.

But then again, it was nothing compared to the emotional ones.

Along the way, she’s grown a little immune to the physical damage. She recalled the first time, it was so surprising and brutal, and she tried to fight back then. She fought so hard, but it only made things worse for it only angered him causing his beating to get stronger. Besides the physical pain, the thing she was most ashamed of was how it felt like someone’s stomped on her dignity; running and jumping over it dozens times; tainting it with his filth until she lost her self-respect.

A beeping sound went off; snapping her back to reality and indicating that she’d received a text. Groggily, she tried to push herself up but ended up falling again when a coursing pain shot through her entire body. This was the jerk’s fault… no jerk was a huge underestimation, and frankly she couldn’t find a word that could describe his inhumanity. Inhumane, yes… that he was.

She tried to push herself up again, whimpering all along but eventually succeeded to rest her back on the headrest with a rather loud huff. 

Grabbing her phone that was resting on the nightstand; her lips unconsciously quivered up a little when she saw whom was it from.

Meet me today?

The text was short and simple, but the thought of seeing him today caused a wave of glee to wash all over her, so she instantly typed away.

Sure.

Biting her nails, she alternated her eyes between the lit screen and Yongguk in slight nervousness. She was paranoid; checking every second on him to make sure that he wasn’t looking at her. The possibility of him waking up now seemed almost non-existent, so she forced herself to relax a bit and wait for the text instead. It didn’t take long before her phone beeped again, and she eagerly swiped to unlock.

Meet me in thirty in front of the park, I’ll be waiting in the car.

“Who’s it?” She jumped in place the instant she heard his hoarse voice. Her hands instinctively flew to her chest; feeling her heart pounding in an abnormal fast way. She fisted the device in her left hands; unconsciously trying to cover the screen.

“You scared me…” She exhaled shakily forcing a lopsided smile on her face as she slowly turned to him. She could’ve sworn that he was fast asleep minutes ago. He wasn’t looking at her; his squeezed closed in annoyance. The look of his earlier peacefulness was gone now as his eyebrows puckered together into a frown.

 “Who’s it from?” He questioned again. “You were smiling.” He commented flatly before she could answer. He peeked at her to see her reaction, and it took everything in her not show any sign of surprise or franticness.  

She paused briefly; her eyes instinctively flickering to the device in her hands. The image of him finding out that she was texting another guy sent shivers to her spine.

“I wasn’t.” She exclaimed with a controlled voice before throwing the covers away from her body. “And it was Suzy by the way, I have an early shift today.”

 “Mhmm…” He mumbled absentmindedly seemingly too drowsy to question her further, and she mentally heaved a relieved sigh.

Planting her feet on the floor, she whimpered as she used every ounce of strength to push herself and stand up.

“Water please.” He croaked before his tongue darted out to moisten his dry lips. “And…if there’s any painkiller.” He rested his forearms on his forehead as the throbbing pain inside his head got stronger making him feel like there was a little kid sitting inside with a hammer.

“On the nightstand.” She replied curtly.

He growled in pain when he rolled to his side. Ji eun paused briefly watching him as he stretched his hands out struggling to get a hold of the filled glass. The sight didn’t faze her even in the least bit. She didn’t budge and stayed immobile in her place unwilling to offer any help. 

She thought of herself as bipolar for her actions towards him were quite contradicting. It was weird how, last night, she made sure to put the medicine next to him when today, she didn't do much as inch it a little closer for him. But then again, Yongguk tended to be more aggressive when he was in pain, like the sight of her in agony was soothing. She concluded, that it was fear that's driven her last night to do this. 

She continued standing in her place for a short while; the sight of him suffering, for some reason, sent her a wave of satisfaction. At least, she wasn’t the only one in pain; she couldn't help think.

It wasn't long before she her heals remembering that she needed to meet a certain latter soon. She ordered her protesting body to move and made her way to the bathroom; wincing the entire way.

Trembling hands gripping the sink, she cringed involuntarily when she saw the hideous reflection in the mirror. Puffy eyes with dark circles that resembled ones of a panda were staring right back at her. There were undecipherable emotions filling them; it was something between despair and surrender. The twinkle that has once glinted them was nowhere in sight now and her cheeks were hollow, face bony and colourless. If someone asked her right now to describe how she looked, she’d say that she looked like someone who’s come out from the dead.

The youthful and healthy Ji eun was long gone and was replaced with an ugly doppelganger.

Her eyes then fell on the dried blood on the corner of her lips. She flinched when she let her fingers graze the area. She quickly dropped her gaze for she could no longer look at the ugliness that she had to call herself. She could feel her body starting to tremble; her blood boiling at the thought of him.

She eventually exhaled a shaky breath before dragging her body towards the shower cabin. There was no use for this rage for she could do nothing about her miserable life. To put it simply, she was so powerless compared to him, and because of this, she had to it all up and continue, somehow, moving on with her life.

Ji eun walked passing by few blocks until the sight of a certain car eventually came to sight. Her face instantly lit when she found the black car parked right across the park where they usually met. It was the safest place for them to see each other because it was nearly deserted, so the possibility of Yongguk seeing her was almost non-existent. People rarely, if ever, passed by, and since it wasn’t so far away from her house, she thought it was simply perfect.

She caught a glimpse of a masculine figure leaning; his hands resting on the hood of the car as he dug his head between them. She quickened her pace; her shoes scrunching with the asphalt underneath and causing the latter’s head to snap up.

A boyish grin found its way to his lips when his eyes met hers; glinting under the sunlight into an almost hazel shade. His blonde hair was tousled, and she noticed that the latter must’ve bleached it a couple of shades lighter. It was now platinum blonde, and Ji eun mentally noted that it surprisingly matched well with his milky white skin.

“Jeee.” He greeted in delight when she finally reached him.

“Senshine.” She greeted back and opened the car’s door when he bobbed his head towards it.

“How have you been?” Came in his question when she got inside.

“Okay.” She simply shrugged. “Nothing exciting’s happened while you were away anyways.” She waved it off with a sigh. Boring might not be the right word to describe her life right now, but she couldn’t say that it was eventful either. Her days were almost identical; with very minute differences. Alas, Yongguk’s drunken nights might’ve been the only thing that could be sometimes considered as an unpredictable event.

“Sure?” He pressed with a weak voice. “You look tired…” He trailed off upon seeing the scowl on her face.

“Gee, thanks for the boost of confidence.”

“Didn’t mean it like that.” He chuckled; realizing how awful the words might’ve sounded when spoken aloud. He had been meaning to speak again, but the words were forgotten, slipped somewhere in the back to his head, when his eyes fell on her. He was looking at her like the honest answer was to be written all over her. Even though it hadn’t been that long since he’d last seen her, he scrutinized her; taking in her appearance. Considering the life she led, anything seemed possible to occur in a short span of time.

His gaze flickered towards the new bruises that peeked underneath the light coat of makeup. It seemed like she’d taken the time this morning to hide them away, but much to her dismay, he still caught glimpses of them. He blew out a heavy breath as he studied them; feeling his throat tightening when he pictured the pain she had to endure.

There was nothing more sorrowful and sickening than knowing one’s self-powerlessness; he realized. Here he was having to look at the scars that painted her body like it was a heart-rending sketch without being able to offer anything but sympathy.

Ji eun felt too exposed under his intense gaze, so she turned her head away seconds later and busied her hands with the seatbelts. She could sense his eyes on her, but she didn’t bring herself to look at him; not when she already knew what he was thinking. If there was something she despised so much, it was having to see the look helplessness on his face whenever he asked about her whereabouts.

“I’m okay, Sehun.” She breathed without meeting his eyes; mentally cursing at her betraying voice for sounding so weak. It was anything but reassuring. Her gaze dropped to the floor; finding sudden interest with her torn white converse. “Can we not speak about him today, please?”

That wasn’t possible; he mentally noted but didn’t bring himself to say anything. There’s something he needed to tell her about, and much to her chagrin, in some way it was related to her marriage to Yongguk. But the pleading look on her face managed to shut him up… for now at least.

“Okay…” He exhaled in reluctance before bringing the car back to life and pulling away.

Sehun made sure to stir the tension away while he drove; blabbering about anything that crossed his mind. He talked about university, the finals he claimed were only created for geniuses, and the new acquaintances; filling her with smallest details about the big society she never got to witness herself.

Ji eun zoned out a bit while he talked but made sure to nod and give small smiles at the right times. She recalled when the two were in high school, and the days they spent dreaming and planning everything about college together. She’s been so eager back then, marking off the days that went by on the calendar.

College symbolized a new transition in one’s life, and Ji eun was more than ready for a fresh start; she was in dire need of it.

She even pictured the entire thing in her head, but it wasn’t long before her dreams came tumbling down; shattering into ruins. The life she’d painted to herself was somewhere in the farthest pit holes inside her brain where they shall stay there forever; she believed.

“We’re here.” Came in Sehun’s soft murmur a while later.

Ji eun casted a sidelong glance only to realize that they were now parked in front of the small shop. The place wasn’t fancy, but compared to the other shops in town, this one could be easily categorized as elegant. The exterior walls were painted black, giving the place a sophisticated kick to it. It was simple without any decorations but the two bonsais that were placed on each side of the door. Its name was centralized above, written in a contrasting white font.

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