"Lee Donghae, I love you."
Stupid You,
Donghae's POV:
"Hello?" it's Gaheun's voice; I turn around immediately and see Kim Bum holding his phone in his hand. He puts a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet. It's a struggle, but I manage to do it; if I didn't, I might as well have gone deaf.
"Hey Dongsaeng, did my little sister move in okay? Is Seunghyun being a pain?" he asks jokingly, laughing. Little sister?...
"Yeah I'm okay! The water is really pretty here... Kim Bum are you gonna drop by and visit? I think I'm going to die here with Seunghyun. He's so annoying and bossy, and his regular weirdo-ness is going to drive me insane." she answers, it feels like it's been years since I've heard her voice. He laugh, her jokes, it's been something I've craved for so long. But... She sees this guy, Kim Bum, as her brother? How? Why?...
"Yah!" I hear in the background. That must be Seunghyun.
"I'll go visit you very soon, maybe tomorrow. Gaheun, Oppa has some news for you. You can go home soon. An agreement has been made."
"Yeah?! When can I go home? I want to see him." her voice sounded strained towards the end. I couldn't help but wince at that.
"... Gaheun ah, oppa will have to talk to you about that later." he says, looking grim. This guy is really strange... He doesn't even seem like he's with the other side.
"Why-" she begins.
"I've got another surprise for you. You have to promise to be calm alright?" he asks. What's he up to?
"Mm." she answers, I can imagine her single nod with that answer.
Kim Bum hands the phone to me, the speaker facing up."Say something," he encourages me, whispering. Why is he doing this? Is it to make the separation worse?
"Kim Bum ah, what's-" Gaheun begins
"Have you been well?" I manage to say, I don't know why it was so hard for me to speak.
I heard a slight gasp on the other end of the line.
"Dong...Hae?" she almost whispers.
"You never answered me, Gaheun. Are you okay?" I ask her. Damn. Hold it together, Donghae. For her sake.
"I... Are... I never thought I'd be able to hear you ever again." she says, in the same broken, breathless voice. She's tearing right now, I can sense it.
"I miss you so much." she begins to cry a little. I clenched my jaw, to keep my own lips from trembling. Damn it, Donghae, hold it together. I take a deep breath.
"Everything will be okay soon. You'll be free soon. I promise." I struggle to say, my throats closing up.
"We'll be seeing each other... Very soon right?" she asks me, I can hear the tears that strain her voice.
"Yeah. Soon." I lie, we won't see each other again. But, I can't bring myself to tell her that. I look to Kim Bum, who is watching me, his looks like he was trying to figure something out. He looks down; he knows it won't happen either.
"Can you promise me?" she asks, her voice breaking towards the end. I clear my throat, to prevent my own sobs from escaping my mouth. I sigh, I don't know how to answer. I can lie... But do I want her to remember my last words were lies?
"... Can you please promise me we will? Please." she begs. My vision blurs, and warmth runs down my face.
"Gaheun ah, I don't... I'm not su-"
"Please. Donghae, please tell me we will. I don't think I can stand it anymore if you say we won't." she pleads again. At this moment, you have no idea how much I want to say yes. I almost begin to cry, but catch myself before I break loose.
"You won't have to stand anything much longer Gaheun, I promise." I tell her. I can hear her inhale deeply,
"That's not the answer I wanted to hear," She whispers. I see Kim Bum from the corner of my eye; he looks as though he's witnessed a murder. Sort of ironic, because he will. Soon.
"Gaheun, I'm sorr-"
"Don't say that. If you're sorry, you would stay alive. And find another way to get me. Donghae, I can wait another ten years for you. I can wait another fifty years for you. As long as you'll be there when I'm let go." she broke down again after this. "If you're not going to be there on the other side to take my hand when I'm let go, I don't want to be set free." the tears fall uncontrollably now. Damn it, Hae. Be a man. You can't cry. I think angrily. But no matter how much a scold and curse myself, I can't manage to stop. A hand rests on my shoulder, it's probably Kim Bum. I don't shake it off; I can't even think straight right now.
I manage to compose myself a little to speak.
"That's not how this works, Gaheun. I want to promise you that we'll see each other soon, I want to be there to take your hand at the end of all this... But it’s just not how it works." I say, almost breathless. The hand pats my back, trying to comfort me. This guy... Does he actually see Gaheun as his little sister? Why is he trying to comfort me?
"Don't talk like that! Don't ever say that! Why would you think that?!? Are you stupid?! Why are you so dumb?! I already told you I can wait! ... Don't give up. Please. Just don't..." she sobs angrily. I bet if she was here, she'd be slapping me, punching me, kicking me... No, Donghae, Don't think about if she was here. It'll only make things worse.
"I'm sorry." I choke.
Her breathing still heavy, she clears , as if she wants to say something.
"... You've told me this a thousand times already. But I realized... Maybe you tell me this so many times because I was scared to accept it to say it for myself. But I'll say this now... Lee Donghae, I love you." she cried again after she said this.
Me, I feel like a bullet just shot through my heart. I've always wanted to hear her say that to me, always. But I knew she couldn't bring herself to say it, she's right. That's why I told her I loved her so many times, to make up for it.
"I love you too. You'll be safe soon. I promise."
"You should hang up now." Kim Bum whispers, his voice sort of comforting. I nod once. This is it.
"Gaheun, four days. Just wait four days. And everything will be over. I've got to go now," I tell her.
"No... Just a couple more minutes..." she pleads.
"It's only going to be harder the longer we drag this on for." I conclude.
"... You're right." she says finally. Hmm, that was easier than I thought.
"Well... Goodbye."
"Bye... But… We will see each other. I promise." she says right before she hangs up.
I rest my head on my hands for a bit, to cool off before leaving. I forgot Kim Bum's hand was still on my shoulder until he patted it again.
"Let's go. I'll drive you back." he says.
"No. It's going to be suspicious," I answer. Has he forgotten who I am, who he is?
"Oh, right. Well I'll drive you part of the way then. It'll be just me in the car, it's the least I can do." he insists.
"Fine." I give in.
"Good. I have some things to tell you once we get into the car." he says as I follow him out of the club.
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