2 Years Ago (Age 33)

Hey, hey, can you hear me?

Yixing? Can you hear me? 

Chanyeol!! I can hear you!

Yixing? Can you hear me? I see your lips moving but no voice.

I hear you but I'm pretty sure you can't hear- oh why do I even bother.

::Check your mute settings::

I can't hear you-ohh okay. Hang on. Mute settings.. 

::I'm waiting...::

::Give me a sec::

Yeah yeah okay. Geez, when did you get so technology dumb-

Okay! Can you hear me!?

Chanyeol! Finally! Hey what's up. Did you finally decide my voice was too lovely to mute?

*heavy laughing*

Well, at first I think it might be too much of a temptation, but now that I hear you, it's just the same old Yixing.

Hey!

But I'm pretty happy anyways. 

I- Huh? Oh uhm. Hey, you room is pretty dark. Don't you have some lights in there?

Why? Do you need to see my face?

All I see is your big nose reflected abnormally large in the monitor light.

Oh really? Uhh, well I can just shut off the monitor or cancel this Skype call if it bothers you so much.

*chuckling*

I can't win with you tonight, can I?

Nope. But then, you never do.

Quit smiling like you own the world, you oaf. So tell me what's up with your life.

My life? Nothing. There's nothing ever to tell. How about you go first?

We're acting like I have anything cool to talk about? Chanyeol, I think you know me better. I wake up, I go to work, I come home. Sometimes I eat food and run into Joon in the bathroom or in front of the TV, and then I sneak into my man cave to answer extremely important e-mails to my worst kept secret a.k.a. best friend.

Well that's awkward for you. But then I don't have a hot boyfriend to run across in the bathrooms so... you've got me beat there in the 'interesting' department.

Yeah I'm way more inter- Wait, did you just call Joon hot? 

Uhhm. No? 

You did- Chanyeol, you . That's my boyfriend we're talking about here. Now I feel all confused about life.

Confused? Why, because I didn't say you were hot?

Well I know he lived with you for a short time and you probably accidentally saw him , but aren't I your best friend? Best internet friend? You're supposed to be biased.

Okay, then I can be biased.

You're supposed- wait, what? 

Well you said I was supposed to be your best friend so...

Chanyeol, wipe that smirk from your face. You're just trying to fluster me right now.

Mmmhmm

Chanyeol, quit it. I'm getting creeped out.

You love it.

I wish I could go right through this computer screen right now.

Because you love it.

Shut up, oh my God.  What if Joon came in here right now?

Well, he'll have to remember that I've accidentally come across him in the bathroom so...

I'm canceling this call right now.

Riiiight.

I'll do it...

So you say.

Nope. That's it. I'm really doing it.

You'll never- Hey... Hey, Yixing? Wait you didn't really shut me off you? Yixing? Yixing!? Are you really going to leave me here by myself talking to my reflection? Yixing! Man you . Worst best friend in the history of- Why am I talking to myself again? Maybe because this idiot- Oh whatever. 

To: Lay

Still_a_Layxingwriter@gmail .com

Ya!! Answer my call on Skype you bastard. Worst best friend ever. And here I was finally getting around to making a full and grand declaration of our best friend-ness and you cut me off. Sorry, I said Joon was hot. He's not hot actually. Really ugly. Totally unattractive. Never could figure out what you see in him. You're way hotter. Okay? Now get back on Skype so we can kiss and make up. Okay? Okay?

To: Chanyeol

Guitarman04@yahoo .com

I'm not answering your call unless you promise not to flirt with me. Not that I mind flirting as a rule, but you know... give a guy sec to respond okay!?! I mean, really Chanyeol, it's been so long! beautiful years our friendship has lasted. We should proceed cautiously. ;)

Anyways, ok fine I'll get back on Skype. Just give me 15 because I think I forgot to talk to Joon about some stupid party we're supposed to go to tomorrow and he's about to leave for work. 

P.S. Don't mute me this time. 

To: Chanyeol

Guitarman04@yahoo .com

Hey Chanyeol, sorry for cancelling our Skype date. Life happens, you know. Anyways, I wanted to formally apologize and hope you weren't sitting around for ages and ages because, what else are you supposed to do if not talk to me!

Actually, I should probably call you but something is kind of... not sitting well with me? I guess there's no real problem, because I talked to Joon and explained and of course he understands but... Well, I kind of left the computer sitting open when I got up earlier and as I say, life happened, and I got distracted and forgot. And instead, Joon came in to check an e-mail real quick and, read my last e-mail. To you. You know, the one where we 'flirted'. 

I guess it's hard to judge if you don't know us, but Joon definitely knows us. So it's not like anyone - my boyfriend - would read that and think I'm cheating, you know. On the other hand, I suppose it was kind of a shock and I'm not really sure he was prepared to see that. I feel almost guilty, because on one hand I'm 'blatantly' flirting with my best friend (even if it's all in jest) but on the other hand... I think I have more fun or more conversation with you than I've had with him in... a few years.  

I'm rambling now but it's because I feel so miserable. Like I betrayed him or something even though I really haven't. Unless I have, somehow, deep in my heart, by pretending like everything is fine, that it's always been fine. 

Anyways don't worry about me. This is my business to figure out and I will. We will, I guess. Joon and me. I'll chat with you later, ok?

Yixing

To: Lay

Still_a_Layxingwriter@gmail .com

Hey, Yixing. Don't worry. I mean, it will all figure itself out eventually. I feel bad too now, because yeah... it's all in jest. But that must hurt for him to see and... well I hope you two talk and decide what to do. Don't keep putting it off though okay? Let me know what's going on. Sorry if I made things awkward. :(

Chanyeol

To: Lay

Hey, haven't heard from you in a couple days. How's it going? Let me know. Miss you buddy.

To: Lay

Thinking about writing you an actual letter but as usual I'm too lazy to find paper and actually do it. Anyways my hand would probably fall off because who is used to writing with pens these days? Or worse, pencils! I should always write in pencil because then at least if I mess up or my handwriting becomes too illegible, I can erase and start over. Or just use pen and scrap the paper and start over. Not like I haven't done that before. Occasionally. Often. More than a couple times per letter (sometimes not all).

Anyways, miss you and give me a call sometime. Just to know you're alive or something. Remember the rule, somebody needs to call me if you die. You better not be dead. Just saying.

Chanyeol...

*phone ringing*                                       

Hello?                                       

Hello, Chanyeol?

Huh, yeah? This is him.                                       

Hey... Oh you probably don't know my number anymore.

This is-

Joon! Joon, hey!                                       

Sorry it took me a moment to recognize your voice.                                       

Hey, what's up. What's... is everything alright?                                       

Nah, everything's alright. I guess.

You... gu- Are you sure? How's Yixing?                                       

I mean, I haven't heard from him in about a week.                                       

Yixing? He's... fine. Or at least I guess he is.

He isn't talking much to me either right now so...

So...                                       

...                                       

...

...

I guess I wanted to talk to you about him a little.

Since, you know us both.

Hey, Joon... you know that e-mail didn't mean anything right?                                       

What e-mail? Oh, you mean the flirting one.

Yeah, I know. It's not that. I guess it's... deeper than that.

...                                       

...

Chanyeol, he's so distant from me. What happened...

...                                       

I don't-                                       

I know, I'm sorry. I know you talk to him a lot.

More than me probably, and I won't try to but into your friendship

or ask you to break anything in confidence.

I guess I just... I'm jealous because he has a friend like you,

and I... I'm just the third wheel. 

Hey man, you know you're my friend as well.                                       

We've dragged each other home drunk many times.                                       

That counts for something!                                       

*chuckles*

Yeah. It does. And I appreciate it. Then and now. Just...

...

Yeah?

Sometimes I...

Sometimes I wish I had a friend like you.

Like you and Yixing.

Or... how come I can't be like you to Yixing?

Dear Chanyeol,

Sorry for going MIA for a couple weeks. I guess I needed to gather myself and my thoughts together before talking to you anyway. I'm not going to lie and say everything is great and fine, but I suppose life will get there. It always seems to pull itself together. By now you'll have gotten my e-mail, because I know you'll have worried, and it will have been for nothing. Other than that, I'm okay. Joon broke up with me a few days ago. It's not a shock, not a surprise. I kind of expected it, and yeah- maybe I shouldn't have waited for him to do it. I should have manned up and broken up with him a long time ago because all we've been doing lately is stringing each other along. Me more than him. I think he truly, truly loves me and I wish I wasn't breaking his heart. But, well of course there's a but. And I suppose I don't need to elaborate on it because you've been trying to tell me for years that something wasn't right with us, me and Joon. 

Joon said he talked to you. I don't know what about, he didn't say. But whatever it was, thank you, because he seemed pretty calm and... well it's not my business anymore what he feels, but I can't help but worry about him. Anyways thank you. And, thank you for always being here for me as well. You mean a lot me. More than you know.

Yixing

This is unforgivably late. I'm so sorry! One more chapter/year though until they can finally meet. Who's excited!!!