" Ah- go ahead." Minjeong would put down her chopsticks and watch as Jimin, across the table, mumbled a prayer to herself before picking up her chopsticks herself.

"..amen...Now! Let's eat!" Finding herself zoning out on how Jimin's lips curled into a smile, Minjeong would shake herself back into focus before picking up her spoon and scooping a dumpling up and over to Jimin's bowl.

" Wanna go somewhere during the weekends?" Watching the older blow a kiss over for the dumpling, Minjeong would squint and pretend to hate the act before smiling to herself, looking back down to her own bowl and picking up a piece of pumpkin, eating.

" Where? When? " Minjeong looked back up, noticing the habit the older one always had, prefering to chew everything with her left cheek.

" Who, what,  why, how? Hahaha... ummm, there's the concert on saturday?" A pause, before Jimin pouts at the younger girl.

" I have mass. What time is the concert?" Minjeong puts another piece of vegetable in , pointing up a 7 sign towards the other girl and chewing on the green.

" Hmm~ I think I could make it honestly, you can wait outside for me and we can walk around a bit before going?" A nod from the younger girl before the conversation falls silent in favour of soft chewing sounds and the occasional clink  from the chopsticks contacting the bowls.

 

 

 

 

 

" Then, I'll see you saturday? I'll text you where to meet me." Waving to Minjeong, Jimin would simply smile and stare at the younger woman who was crouched over, tying her shoelaces. 

"Huh? Oh, uh- yea sure! I'll see you then, unnie. Sleep well?" Looking up at the older, Minjeong would send an attack to Jimin with puppy eyes, leaving the older with widened eyes as she watched the girl stand back up, just a forehead shorter than herself.

"I don't think I can sleep well after seeing the image of you looking up at me with stars in your eyes, unfair~" Whining with a sad face, Jimin burst out laughing, seeing Minjeong with a confused disgusted expression on her face.

"Ya, Kim Minjeong. Don't look at me like that." The two girls would laugh and giggle at each other for a few moments before finally silence would settle once again.

"Seriously, walk home safe, don't see random puppies and follow them, and if a guy asks for your number, kick them in the balls and run away." Scoffing, the younger girl would lean into the older girl's ears.

" Can I have your number then, unnie?" Not even a moment passes and a barrage of smacks comes from the older, leaving Minjeong running to the lift and blowing a kiss at the older as she presses the call button.

"CHEESY! CRINGE! I hate that so much?! Kim Minjeong, never do that again!??" A offended expression on the older and Kim Minjeong is left giggling to herself as the lift slowly opens its doors.

"Goodnight unnie~ Muah muah!" Giving in, Jimin would blow a kiss over before finally shutting the door, Minjeong walking into the lift at the same time. 

In the lift, Minjeong would scratch at her nose, when Jimin had flinched from the comment, her nose accidentally came into contact with the older's nape. A strange warmth now stayed at the tip of it, slowly spreading to the girl's chest.

" In love much? With a straight girl too, idiot." Breathing out, the girl would walk the long way home, just for the day to last a little longer, just for the memories of the day to stay in the present just a moment more. Before it would all come to an end, the moment her eyes shut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Min? Wake up, you said you had somewhere to go didn't you? Don't blame me if you're late to see Jimin...Just wake up already!! I HAVE TO GO SEE MINJU TOO YOU KNOW!? YAA KIM MINJEONG!! YOU TOLD ME TO DRIVE YOU THERE! WAKE UP!" Throwing a pillow and an empty trash can onto her sister, Chaewon would prepare herself to jump onto her sister when the younger would jump awake.

" DID YOU JUST THROW A BRICK AT ME?? WHAT WAS THAT!?"

"TRASH CAN! IT'S WHERE YOU BELONG"

"WHAT DID I DO!?"

" HURRY UP AND CHANGE AND DO WHATEVER! I HAVE 20 MINUTES BEFORE CLASS!"

" YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT BEING ON TIME! ALSO IT'S SATURDAY!?"

"MINJU'S WITH ME FOR ENGLISH! It's also extra credit."

" AH FINE, PICK UP MY TRASH CAN!"

" WHY SHOULD I!?"

" YOU THREW IT DIDN'T YOU!?" 

" Stop shouting. Now." Both girls would immediately shut up at the command of their mother, Minjeong scrambling for the bathroom as the older would unwillingly pick up the trash can, setting it beside the desk where it was.

" Chaewon, why don't you go check your phone? It's been buzzing this whole time you guys were being loud."

"Ah- Is it the frog emoji?" 

"JUST GO CHECK!?" 

"SHUT UP AND BATHE, MINJEONG!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Unnie, does this look good on me?" Looking up from the kakao messages from the aforementioned frog emoji, Chaewon would laugh at the sight of her sister dressed in a white patterned oversized T-shirt and a leather jacket, and...

"Those are my pants." Pointing an index finger at the jeans, Chaewon would glare at her sister, awaiting an explanation.

"Lend them to me??" Shaking her head, Minjeong would an eyebrow at her older sister.

"Why do I have to?" Chaewon would spread her arms, throwing her phone onto the couch.

" I'm going out with Jimin unnie today, just once?" Sighing, Minjeong would flash puppy eyes towards Chaewon.

" I get to borrow that one flannel you keep wearing then." A smirk.

"Ah- that's my favourite though."

"Too bad~ Or~ you could take off my pants." A single index finger pointed towards her pants would get Minjeong to roll her eyes, giving in.

"Deal. When are you wearing it?"

"Today, I think it'll go well with my croptop. You think?" A nod from her younger sister and Chaewon smugly smiles to herself.

"Of course, I look good in anything."

"Narcissist." 

"IC, my god I love it, oh and- let's not wear the hat, your face looks better when you just let your hair down. You wanna look cool anyway, you just look like a puppy when you wear hats, you know that, right?" A nod from Minjeong and Chaewon flicks the hat off her sister's head, accidentally flicking her forehead at the same time.

"You bi- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Turning around to pick up her hat with an angry face, Minjeong was greeted by the sight of the hat, perfectly landed on shiro's head.

" Shiro~ hahahahahahahahahahaha I'm sorry, but- hahahahahaha. This is seriously too good, I need a picture immediately." Taking a picture, the older Kim would send it to the frog, a buzz of responses coming a moment after.

 

Once the two Kim's had finally settled down, they hopped into Chaewon's car before finally driving off, music from the radio filling in the silence.

"Why are you going to a church anyway? I thought you didn't like how most of them couldn't practise what they preach." Flipping the stick for the turn signal, Chaewon would check her side mirrors before turning a corner from the street their apartment was at.

" It's not like I hate Christianity, I don't really hate the religion itself, it's just one person ruined it I guess, it's also just...there's a lot of rules, mistranslated, lost in translation, misogynistic, there's... a lot. But the point in religion is the community, it's having a way of life. There's no better, no right or wrong religion, it's just...how one wants to live. Besides, letting go of the hatred for such things and letting go of the suffering from hating is a Buddhist thing either way." Picking her nails, Minjeong would go on a little rant, before spotting the church Jimin goes to.

"Why so wise today?" Another turn single and the two were now a couple dozen metres away from the church.

" Unnie, good luck on confessing to Minju~" Sending a flying kiss over to the older sister, Minjeong would pull the door lever before jumping out.

"Aish- you crazy kid?? Good luck not getting roped into anything you don't like~ Don't you dare let them send you to conversion therapy! I ACTUALLY LIKE MY GAY SISTER!" Slowing down just to stick a tongue out at the younger, Chaewon would laugh to herself in the car.

 

" How would that work if the reason I'm gay is also right inside?" A mumble under Minjeong's breath, a sentence mixed with acceptance and bitterness

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking over to a bench that was just outside, Minjeong would pull her phone out as she took a seat.

text format 👍

m : m outside👍

J: Wanna come in?

m: nahh how much longer you think?

J: Uhh...20 minutes?

m: you eating the bread and wine yet?

J: No, not eating the bread and wine yet. Just come in~ I wanna see my puppy

m: not puppy 

J: Uh...huh. I'll go fetch you, don't worry, if anyone tries to bite you I'll bite them for you.

m: not comfortin- 

 

 

 

" Min, cmon." Looking up from her phone, Minjeong would be greeted by a smiley Jimin. Softly giggling at the way the wind had ruffled Minjeongs hair.

"See? You're like a puppy." Running her hand through Minjeongs hair, Jimin would hold the younger’s hand to pull her into the church, still smiling to herself.

"Not puppy... You sure I can even be in here?" Looking around and noticing some of the nuns and pastors looking over to Minjeong, Jimin tightened her grip on Minjeong's hand just a little more.

"I don't see why not, unless you're a sinner?" A smirk on her face, Jimin would bump into Minjeong's shoulder

"I'm not exactly innocent either."

" No one in here is." 

Sitting beside the older woman who had her hands interlaced infront of her chin, Minjeong would gaze upon her with a soft smile. 
 

Isn't being this pretty while praying a little unfair?

 

Spending the next hour and a half just in silence, well, excluding the organ playing in the background along with overall church ambience. Minjeong was peacefully watching the older, only for the bubble to be popped by the presence of a pastor beside her.

"What do you think about the mass today?" Looking over to the older woman, Minjeong only found her still praying.

"Uhh, I'm not actually attending- I'm just here for my friend-" Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Minjeong would visibly grimace at the pastor.

"Can I pray for you?" A shake of her head, ignored. Looking over to Jimin once again, Minjeong would find the older girl once again head down, praying. Can she not hear all this? What's going on with this guy anyway? Can he not see how uncomfortable I am??

" I'd really rather not... You're not even listening are you." As the man mumbled to himself, hand on Minjeongs shoulder, the girl could only bite her lip in silence, holding the hem of Jimin's shirt with the tips of her fingers, almost begging her to do something.

Once the man was done, he would smile unnervingly at the girl before walking away, and with him gone the older girl would finally look towards Minjeong.

" And now, would be the time for the bread and wine you kept talking about." A smile. As if nothing that happened right before even registered in the older girl's mind. Watching as the older girl came back from the front where other's attending were gathered, Minjeong figured it wouldn't do her any good to stay inside too long, standing up, she decides to tell Jimin that she would wait outside instead. 

" Unnie, I'll wait outsi- are you ing kidding me?" Looking down at the older girl's hand, two sets of bread and wine.

"Minjeong?" 

"Yu Jimin, you're kidding me right?" A tilt of the head from the older girl and Minjeong found her feet carrying herself out of the hall and back onto the street, finally able to breathe in and out fully again. 

A few moments pass before the older girl comes brisk walking out of the church herself.

"Minjeong, what's wrong? You didn't even-" Looking down once again, Minjeong would notice the now single set in Jimin's hand.

"Yu Jimin, what did you bring me here for? Why did you pull me inside there?" Minjeong would shake off the older’s hands. Preferring to take a step back for personal space.

"I just- wanted to-"

" Show me what being Christian was like? Why did you keep quiet when the priest started talking to me, even when he touched me? You've known me for years, you know what has happened." 

"No Minjeong, that's just praying for-"

"It doesn't matter Jimin, you know I'm not comfortable with ANYone touching me, you know it took even you a few years before I even let you hold my hand." Another extension of an arm to hold the younger, rejected.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry- it's just-"

"Then the bread, the wine? You know that I'm buddhist, don't you? Jimin, I'm sorry, but I'm just not Christian. No, I'm not overly religious, but I still refrain from alcohol and meat outside of special occasions, work or whenever I'm really stressed, I might not follow my religion like a rulebook but it doesn't mean I don't have one." Arms in the air, waving in anger, Minjeong would grind her teeth and take a breath.

"I didn't know you would be this adverse to-

"That's the problem isn't it? I didn't know anything either, I didn't know you had to pray before eating, but I learned. And now I actually wait for you so we could eat together. I didn't know on Saturday mornings sometimes afternoons you would be busy coming for service or mass but now I only ask to hangout on Saturdays if it's after 6pm."

"Minjeong, calm down."

"Yu Jimin, I'm sick of it. Not just of this slow probing and pressuring me to become Christian, teaching me bible verses, telling me to follow this and follow that, introducing me to your church friends, your mom sending me to a CHRISTIAN tuition centre. I get it, something something evangelize or was it spread the love of Jesus, I GET IT. But not to me, never to me. I've never pushed any boundaries you'd set, even if it wasn't clearly stated. Today wasn't the first time either, unnie what's wrong with you and your mom these past few months??" Watching the younger run her fingers through her hair, Jimin would blink twice before finally focusing back onto the words flowing out of Minjeong

"Minjeong, I got it, I'll stop okay?"

" Not just that. I'm sick of this uneven effort thing you keep doing to me! I'm sorry, but I want to feel cared for, I want to feel as if I'm just as important to you every once in a while too?? I'm sorry for being greedy but it !"

"Min-"

"Do you want to go to the concert? Do you want to go to the new cafe near the station? Do you want to go to the new aquarium? They have sharks! Do you want to go to this new restaurant? My sister started working there recently. Do you want to try the Halloween event at the theme park? Do you want to go to the arcade? Do you want to go mall hopping? What about you, Jimin? What have you ever started with? Oh, Do you want to meet my friends? They're my church friends. Do you want to go to the tuition centre my brother goes to? Oh but guess what? I refused because of how Christian it was, not a page went by without half a page of bible."

"You're unfair, Jimin. I hate that about you." Taking her phone out, Minjeong would use the edge of it to bump her head a couple of times, needing the slight pain to feel alive and calm down.

"Minjeong, let's go somewhere else to talk about this?"

" Sure! Let's just go to the concert then, I've already got the tickets. Besides, it'll answer your questions about me won't it? I'll show you who I am, I'll show you what I like," Silently calling for a grab, the two girls just sat in silence as they waited for the cab to arrive, whisking them off to a strip of shophouses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Just drop us off here, cars aren't allowed in the street itself. Thanks uncle~" The car ride was quiet, allowing Minjeong to think in silence and gather her thoughts, finally calming down.

At the end of the day, it's not Jimin's fault that she likes girls, it's not the older girls fault that she had spent the last 7 years with an invisible pressure on her shoulders that weighed her down.

It wasn't Jimin's fault she was still in the closet.

" Unnie, we have to walk for a bit. " Opening the door for the older woman who remained seated in the cab, seemingly zoned out, Minjeong had no choice but to grab her hand, pulling her out of the car gently.

" Jimin unnie, are you okay? I'm okay now, don't think about it too much." When Jimin's eyes finally met Minjeong's, the younger girl would crouch down, helping to tie the loose shoelace for Jimin.

" Follow behind me, you might get eaten since you're pretty." Looking around, Jimin's face immediately flushed red, seeing different flags hung on railings, women sitting on outdoor seats, hands around the shoulders of other women, men with drinks, men waltzing with men to whatever song the establishment they were at were playing.

Looking to the front, Jimin would see Minjeong with a relaxed grin on her face, looking at her as if Jimin held the stars in her eyes . Finally, she took a step forward and followed along. She would come to notice the way the moment they'd entered the warm toned bar, the lady behind the counter would wave to the younger. 'She comes often then.'

"Minjeong!! Brought someone today, that's a first. Who's this pretty lady?" Pouting at the owner, Minjeong would say a simple greeting before walking to the stairs, leading to the basement.

" Hi, I'm Yu-" With Jimin holding a hand out to the older woman, Minjeong would run back to the counter from the stairs and cut her off just in time.  

"Karina. She's Karina. The theme is girl in red today right? Who's performing tho?" The old lady would laugh to herself for a moment before pulling out two coke cans and two fanta grape cans before pouring each set into a beer mug.

" It's my daughter's friends, the school band I think. Her crush is the guitarist so she practically begged me to let them play today. Oh and yea, they only prepared red's songs. Now, ice cream for both?" The two girls nod and watch as the owner and barkeeper scooped two scoops of vanilla ice cream into the middle of the drink before shoving a straw and a tall spoon into the mug and serving it with a flower on the side.

"Have fun then." 

Plopping onto the sofa at the far back left corner of the basement, Minjeong would scoot in and gesture for Jimin to sit too.

"AH! KIM MINJEONG!" A tall girl would run over and hi five Minjeong while Jimin could only sit and watch in silence.

" Oh, Wonyoung! You're the daughter barkeep was talking about? I thought I was gonna see Yena's band today." The tall girl would take the seat on Minjeong's left, leaving Jimin to awkwardly look around taking in the interior design of the place. 

"Ayy, Yujin is cool too you know, Ryujin and Yeji are in her band too." At the familiar names, Jimin would turn her head to finally look at the two laughing girls to her left, noticing how Minjeong truly looked as if she was in her element.

Don't get her wrong, it wasn't as if Minjeong looked uncomfortable everywhere else. It was just- this aura of comfort as if she wasn't filtering anything, how her smiles weren't small or just for politeness but how she truly felt happy to be in this place. It just felt as if this was a side of the younger girl Jimin had never seen, and this side was just the most important side to the younger she should've known.

Leather jacket slowly falling off her shoulders, hair bending in weird directions from being squished between the sofa and her back, eyes with a certain sparkle behind them, this Minjeong was new, in a way that made Jimin finally wonder why her heart would quicken it's pace whenever her eyes would meet Minjeong's.

In a way that made Jimin's cheeks burn red, wondering why she looked in their direction in the first place.

Her thoughts interrupted by the tapping of drum sticks, Jimin would watch as Minjeong turned back forward, smile only widening as the band started to play. 

"Unnie, this song is serotonin. Nice right~" Turning to the older woman to see if she was enjoying the performance, Minjeong would fall silent, seeing the older girl simply looking at her, eyes blank.

The music and surroundings faded out, the memories of the two of them flowing behind her eyes, Minjeong would smile bitterly before snapping herself out of it and looking back forward, a new song had already begun.

"You should know better now, to it up and around~ See yourself through my eyes, you're so fake. It's all lies~" Singing along, Minjeong was determined to use this chance to just relax and de-stress from the whole day and situation.

Remembering how they met, the classes they used to share before they split ways after graduation, how Jimin never found someone she liked, how no matter how many girls she'd ended up dating Minjeong's heart would return to the older girl in the end. 

If there was a world record for longest one sided love Minjeong would be coming for that title as long as their friendship would last.

"Never listen to~ a monologue. Told by~ a lying fraud. I don't need~ to make sense, of all your bull reasons! Did you listen to her heartbeat like you did with me? Was it more than , pure physicality? Don't bother giving me any more bad apologies~"  Lord, wherever you are, if one was not meant to fall in love with one of the same gender, if one was truly never meant to think this way of another woman. Why did you make them so enticing, so hypnotically beautiful, why were their smiles and the way her eyes turned into crescents only making this disciple of your's heart seem to lose control of itself, why was one Kim Minjeong- why was she... just so- mesmerising?

"Tary happiness makes you feel alive. You had it all but you get easily seduced by~ The things that rip me apart~ I'm a safe bet but you get intrigued by uncertainty and mystique. Was I stupid enough to believe you would" Watching how the red haired girl would sway her body and arms along to the music, sometimes even looking over to Wonyoung to sing certain sentences together, Jimin could only feel the way her lips parted open, finding herself a little short on air.

"Change that for me~!!!" Seeing the way both Minjeong and the tall girl next to the both chanted out the last line before turning to each other and laughing, Jimin felt ink spreading within her chest. This was dangerous, it felt like this dimmed room was making her greed come out, it seemed as if the younger girl swaying to the rhythm and the way her sweat was flowing down her nape was making Jimin's judgement clouded.

For Jimin, it all felt wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the band on stage was packing up, a girl walks up stage and plugs her phone into the speakers, playing a song Jimin once again, couldn't recognise but found herself nodding along to.

"Won, know this song?" Looking at the two girls on the couch once again, Jimin could see Wonyoung shazaming the song.

" I love you but you make me cry. Seeing how unnie is playing it and staring in a certain direction~ Dare I say the duck has done something stupid again? I'll go talk to unnie, have fun Minjeong~ nice meeting you, Jimin unnie!" Standing up and off the couch, Wonyoung walked over to Jimin's side, holding a hand out for the older woman.

" How did you know me- nice to meet you too." Shaking the younger's hands for a moment, Jimin gets tugged forward before Wonyoung would lean to the side, whispering to her ear.

" The one sitting there bobbing to the music keeps talking about you, shut her up already." With a wink, the tall kid would walk down the steps to the lower floor, jumping on the aux cable dj.

 

 

 

Another period of silence, only accompanied by the sad music a certain hamster was playing. With the live performance finished, people slowly started walking up the stairs to go home, some bags accidentally bumping into Jimin's shoulders as they made their way up.

Scooching closer to the left of the couch, Minjeong tugged on the sleeves of the older, gesturing for her to scooch in too.

" Your shoulder is gonna end up bruised at this rate, and I'd rather not have to explain to your mom why her daughter came home with a bruised shoulder and looking like anpan man" Halfway through moving closer, Jimin stopped in her tracks and stared at Minjeong.

" Anpanman? What part of me looks like him??" Covering her face with her arm, the older woman would glare at the younger, shooting daggers with her eyes.

" Your cheeks are burning red, Jimin. Wait, does that mean I can eat your head?" Smacking Minjeong on her shoulder and moving close enough that their shoulders ended up touching, Jimin would lean into the others face with a frown and a pout.

" You don't even like red bean."

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?!" Jumping back and looking behind her, Jimin would notice the guitarist from before with her instrument case about to walk up the stairs.

"H-hi?" The puppy looking twin tower would slouch forward, slightly towering over Jimin as she let the people behind her walk out the door. 

"Oh. I'm Eugene, Yujin, whatever. Have a nice day~" Leaving the conversation as abruptly as she joined, Yujin simply walk out with Yeji and Ryujin following closely behind her. Both girls recognising Jimin and nodding to her before leaving.

"Unnie, have a nice talk. Just ignore my sister and her pet duck arguing down below~" Shutting the door behind her, Wonyoung waved goodbye to the two girls before making her way to her mom and pestering her for a drink of any kind. Receiving a lesson on drinking the drinks meant for customers and how it would be stealing money from her own mother in turn.

"Right..." Folding one leg onto the couch, Minjeong turned to face Jimin, who was still staring at her silently, the thoughts in her mind running at a speed she couldn't even fathom currently.

"How was it?" Picking up a spoonful of the now semi melted Ice cream, Minjeong would wrap her lips around it, a subtle action that sent another wave of inapropriate thoughts through Jimin's head. She's strange today. When was she so...wait she asked me a question.

"It?" 

"The performance, Jimin. And I guess, the bar itself? It's one of my favourite places, if I'm not hanging out with you or rotting at home this is usually where I am." Noticing the way the younger had overturned the spoon to lay on the tip of her tongue, Jimin couldn't help but look away, forward, onto the empty stage.

"It was cool, the vibe was really... comfortable, everyone seemed to be...having fun? There were also only- girls, like a girls only bar." Watching Jimin stutter to herself, Minjeong could only bend forward in laughter, sounding like a dolphin.

"Sorry sorry, I got a little petty and decided to step on your boundary in retaliation." Smacking the table to physically express how funny the situation was, Minjeongs eyes could barely see the way Jimin had become frozen at the sound of her laughter.

"Wait...what does that mean?" Minjeong would reach into the jacket's pocket and pull out the two tickets, flashing them to the older woman.

Looking closer, Jimins jaw dropped and her eyes widened at the mischievous puppy in front of her.

"It was meant for Coldplay- and at the stadium- we're in a bar listening to a school band covering someone else's songs- YOU!" Pointing an offended index finger at Kim Minjeong, Yu Jimin would scoff and look towards the other direction, sulking.

"I wouldn't have done it if you were a huge fan of Coldplay, besides, give the school band some props, they did well." Minjeong tried defending herself. And it would have worked, if a certain Yu Jimin wasn't too busy looking at a certain Kim Minjeong instead of looking at the aforementioned school band. 

"Aish, I still feel betrayed." Crossing her arms and feigning annoyance, Jimin took the opportunity to calm the blush on her cheeks down, breathing in and out to catch her breath and get her thoughts in order.

" But do you get it now? Who I am, what I like, did it answer the questions you had about me?" Fiddling with her fingers, Minjeong would sit in silence, worried at the answer, contemplating if this whole thing was a mistake.

"Huh? What was all this supposed to tell me?" Jimin furrowed her brows in confusion, thinking back on everything and trying to draw a conclusion, only to come to a blank.

" Hahaha, Jimin unnie, we're in a lesbian bar. Every song you just heard was by girl in red, a popular artist for lesbians. The little coloured tape on the mugs shows other people if you want to be approached." Looking down at the mug floats, Jimin now noticed that Wonyoung's had a different colour compared to the two of theirs. 

" Wait... this means-"

" I'm a woman lover, a lesbian, a sapphic, gay, whichever lets you understand it best. This is the side of me I've kept hidden from everyone in school, from you, from my father." A beat of silence before Jimin's hands found its way onto Minjeong's shin.

" Are you sure? What happened to you that time, when you suddenly started hating the church with a burning passion, was it because of this?" A slight grimace at the first comment and a soft chuckle at the second, Minjeong pulled out her phone and scrolled all the way back in her gallery and showed the first picture to Jimin.

"I'm sure, I've been sure since this day." A picture of a small Minjeong staring at (tbh I never had a gay awakening. I was just gay so I went looking in my shelf for the hottest woman😭 and we have 😭 drumroll🔥) Maleficent. 

(Ok but she really was really pretty in it, and she was literally MOTHER😭) 

" Angelina Jolie." Jimin would unconsciously compare herself to the actress, chewing on the inside of her lip in silent contemplation.

" Listen, I swear it wasn't the part about her being a hot monster demon thing-" Looking up from the phone and at Minjeong again, Jimin's jaw dropped.

" You like evil women."

"No I don't, you're more holy than anything I know of in the first- ...." Rolling her lips in with a shocked 'I ed up' face, Minjeong quickly looked away and stood up from the sofa before walking to the next couch.

"Ya, Kim Minjeong you can't run away like that- explain yourself." Standing up and walking over to the younger woman, Jimin takes a seat, an arms length away.

"Don't know if you can't tell but I don't really want to!" Jumping to her feet, the now red faced girl would run two seats over.

" Stop moving??" Standing up once again, Jimin starts walking towards the girl again.

" Your face is telling me there's no good news to stay seated for! No thanks!" Minjeong slowly stands back up and begins walking backwards, closer to the stage as she holds out two crossed index fingers towards the older woman.

"Begone demon!" 

"Kim Minjeong. I'm getting annoyed." Cornering the girl into a dead end, the 'demon' would cross her arms and tilt her head in annoyance, awaiting an explanation. 

"Ok listen, can we just ignore that? I wasn't planning to confess like this and I'd really rather not get my heart broken in what's practically one of my favourite places that I can relax in. Besides, I know you, I know the answer-" Holding out her palms in front of her to keep whatever small distance they still had between them, Minjeong would get cut off by a loud slam of a door. 

" WHAT DID YOU SAY TO JURI YOU STUPID DUCK!" With both girls looking down towards the stage, they're only able to watch as an angry Jo Yuri marches towards a cowering Choi Yena. Mirroring Minjeong's exact stance. 

"Listen, It was just a joke- Of course I didn't seriously mean it when I said that you were only for dating, It was just a joke~" Practically begging, Yena had no choice but to start climbing the stairs towards the bar.

"Shut up, I can't believe you've done this to me. Leave, seriously. There's lines you shouldn't cross even for jokes, Choi. " Shutting the door on the duck woman, Yuri would turn around and slide her body down the door with tears in her eyes.

A nod and a silent agreement to put whatever they have to say aside, the pair of best friends would slowly make their way over to the girl and sit down on each side.

" All good."

" Wanna get it out? Or just cry it out, we got you for both, just let the emotions out, don't coop it all up." Yuri would only cry harder, with both girls looking at her fingers, nails bitten unevenly, the skin surrounding picked apart, splitting off.

" It's...I've told her, I've told her I never felt good enough, that she was too good for me, that she was honestly just wasted on me. She knows exactly how I am, and after so long of reassuring me, she goes and does...that." Wiping her tears, Yuri would bite down on her lip, hard enough to tear the skin. With the sight in front of her, Minjeong would hurriedly look through her pockets for a napkin, pressing gently onto Yuri's lips. 

" Good enough huh? What does being good enough even mean? I'll never be good enough, neither will you or Minjeong. It will always, always, be too good for me? Not enough for you. I hate that, yet I still love you." A moment of silence, the short haired girl's eyes widening before falling back down.

"There is no perfect balance when it comes to love, to be fair I don't think any couple could love each other equally either. I mean of course, you'll love each other the most, that's the whole point, but I couldn't bring myself to jump in front of a bullet for the person I love, heck I don't think I'd even be brave enough to love someone if I were to be hated for it..." A blink and a pause, with moisture gathering behind her eyes, Minjeong would silently lower her head, letting her hair cover her eyes.

" But the two of you couldn't care less if the world were to gawk and curse at you every morning if it meant being beside the person you loved, that's courage, courage I still haven't been able to find. That's why for me, I'm not enough. But in her eyes, I'm too good for her." With trembling lips and anxious eyes, the short haired girl would glance to the side, foggy vision blurring the image of a certain christian girl biting her lips to keep herself calm. 

" In her eyes, I'm sure you're far beyond good enough, in her eyes, she would be the one thinking 'I'm not good enough'. That's human nature, to compare, to see all of your flaws, but be blind to theirs." Sniffling, Yuri would take a deep breath before looking back up towards the Jimin.

"Thanks, seriously. I'll...I'll go talk to her. You guys have more to talk about, right? I'll leave you to it..." Standing up and pulling the door open, Yuri would take another breath, her heart finally calming down enough for her to smile, even a little. Passing her the packet of napkins, Minjeong would make a fist, wishing the girl good luck.

"Thanks." With the door shut, the two girls would cover the gap left behind by Yuri, and a comfortable yet awkward silence settled between the two. 

"What you said before, I guess that would be my answer?" Unrestrained tears would flow from the younger of the two, a build up of emotions, of memories, remembering the past 5 years being in love. 

"Minjeong, it's not that I don't feel any semblance of what you feel towards me, for you. It's just..." Uneven breaths and welled up tears would stop Jimin from continuing her sentence, the girl trying to remember how to breathe properly, failing.

" I won't say anything that I know will hurt you, I know you've already heard it. You never told me, but honestly I think I can get the gist of why you started crying whenever I brought up the church 3 years ago. I know myself that you are one of the best people I know of, both in personality and action." Reaching out, trembling fingers would grasp and interlace itself with cold long ones.

"I know to myself that you of all people would reach heaven if there is one. I'm just a coward, I'm sorry, I'll forever be sorry, but I can't. I can't bear everyone around me frowning upon me because I decided to sin, I can't bear being hated by the ones I grew up with, by my mom, my dad, my relatives and even my friends. Minjeong, I'm not strong enough to go through that." Eyes interlocked, albeit blurry, the two girls seemed to communicate deeper than the words spoken, with Minjeong taking another breath before a small smile finally makes it's presence known.

" I know." Two words, yet they trigger the older woman to begin hyperventilating, unable to catch her breath, chest rising up and down in desperate attempts.

" Jimin, it's ok. I told you didn't I? I know you, I know your answer. You're not hurting me either, so breathe." With Minjeong's hand on her shoulder, Jimin finally found the rhythm to breathe in, finally clearing her eyes, finally Yu Jimin was seeing the expression the younger was making. A relieved smile. 

"Minjeong-" Before Jimin could speak, the younger woman would stand up, opening the door and taking half a step out.

"Thank you, for finally letting me go." A closed door. And Yu Jimin was left in a foreign place, surrounded by foreign sounds she's not sure she'd heard before. All alone. 

 

 

End.

Thanks for- uhm... reading. Comment for the uncliffhanged ending- hahaha (I'll end up writing it in a few weeks or months probably)

I know it's a bad cliffhanger. I swear I don't do cliffhangers often, this is literally the first I think. But writing anymore would stray from what this is based on, because right now , I too am stuck in that cliffhanger. If you do want a sequel, maybe from Jimin's perspective, having to deal with newfound emotions and attraction to something completely new, or from Minjeong's perspective, moving on, although I can't promise healthily or not.

Then, I'll write it.

It'll definitely...begin to be full fiction from there though. But, still, I hope you've enjoyed, and to once again explain, I do not hate the church or what it stands for, I might harbor tiny hatred for what the church goers have done to me, but I do not condemn the church. Religion is a way of life and a way to find community, there's nothing wrong, no better or worse, no right religion.

Ending Note/ textpost?:

I wished you had the courage to stay

I wished you had the courage to lay with me, without remorse.

I wished I was worth staying for, but in the end, I wasn't.

Every wish I had, I still pray for.

I won't blame you, I've known I would never be able to bring myself to hate you. 

I will simply remain stuck in time.

Wondering what we could've been, what we could've had.