Off's Point of View

"Ai'Gun!" I said irritatingly as I removed my arm from his small, veiny hands. This little devil never failed to tease me by being touchy. He keeps touching me jokingly even though he knows I never liked physical contacts especially holding hands. 

I smiled as I felt his hand held mine. He's been doing that for years that I got so used to it. I felt like his touch became one of my daily habit. Sometimes, I feel empty when he's not around. 

"Papi! Let's grab lunch na~" He rubbed his head on my shoulders sideways like a cat wanting to be pet by it's owner.

"I can't, I have a date with my girlfriend." he backed down a step away from me and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. 

"Oh, okay." He said in between of little laughs. 

I have been telling him that I have a girlfriend ever since we got close but he never did believe me. My long time girlfriend is also in my industry so we preferred to hide it but I can actually tell him her name but he didn't ask or believe me. 

I just shrugged it off since I thought that was normal, until that day, when he finally met her. 

"Papi! I have to go now, I figured out I still had one interview. Enjoy your meal, let's have a talk some other time." He said as he pertained to Cameron, my girlfriend, and smiled. They were actually friends. I was about to say something but he turned his back immediately.

I was confused as to why he said he had an interview when he just told me yesterday that he will be free the whole day today. Who will he be meeting? 

"Off?" I turned to Cameron as she snapped her hands in front of me. 

"Why?" I asked. 

"What were you thinking? I called you ample of times already." she said as she leaned closer to look at my face, obviously worried. 

"Nothing." I leaned back a bit. 

Why isn't he replying?

Me:

Are you home now?

That was sent half an hour ago but he only replied now with a simple "not yet". Not yet? I sent him another message immediately as to where he is but he never replied back. That went on for weeks that I can't even focus on my work now. I tried my best to approach him but he always had a reason to get away. I don't know what's wrong? I never did anything to disappoint him. 

Or did I?

I just can't get used to it.

He made me so comfortable with him. He made me destroy the wall that no one ever had the power to make it tremble. He made me get used to his care, his touch and he'll just disappear from me now? 

"Off! Why are you acting like this? This is our sixth take already, get your head over here and not on some other planet may it be!" The director scolded me. 

I can't blame him. For some reason, I can't have myself to be professional these days. 

"Let's break up." the first thing she said when we saw each other. 

"What? Why?" We've been together for years and I can say that she never uttered this words so seriously. 

"I can't do this anymore." She said while while shaking her head slowly. "I know you don't love me and I can't waste any more time for a man who doesn't even care for me."

"No, I still love you." I said. 

"I never said you don't love me anymore. I said you don't love me, in a romantic way." I looked at her with shock in my eyes. I couldn't utter a word. 

"Have you ever noticed, Off? That I was always the one who texts you first, I was always the one who sets up our dates, I was always the one comes to you when it should be the both of us." 

"I'm sorry." That is the only thing I can say. I am an . I won't make anymore excuses. 

She hugged me tight. 

"It's funny how our last hug was initiated by me, again." she laughed painfully.

"Sorry." I can only say that again. 

"But I at least want to say this to you, Off. Have you ever wondered about your real feelings for Gun?" I furrowed my eyebrow. "Listen, alright. We've been together for years but you have always treated my like a good friend."

Her eyes watered so she took a moment to calm herself and then continued after clearing .

"Since the start, you never really cared if I reply late. You're okay even if we don't see each other for a week. Remember when I told you that I wanted to keep us a secret? You just nodded, you never really wanted to show me to the world." 

She wiped her tears and continued. 

"I kept thinking that it's normal because when I started dating you, you were already like that but that thought changed over time. I saw how you have always showed Gun to the world and you can't tell me that was only fan service because I saw how you never cared with that kind of  stuffs before. You would never do anything if you don't like it. But you were playful with him, you always smile when you see him but I love you. I love you to the point that I was keeping quiet. I was turning a blind eye, even though I clearly knew how you felt."

I touched her shoulders to console her. I never knew I was such a jerk. 

"However I came back to my senses when you introduced me as your girlfriend in front of him, Off. I, too am a friend of Gun. I saw how he covered his real emotion with acting he learned ever since he was young. I saw how you had a hidden guilt in your eyes and how you were suddenly panicky and worried about him."

"No, it's not that. Gun and I are just friends, really. You are overthinking."  I denied.

"You are the one who's not even thinking. I want you to listen! This is hard for you, I know, but have you ever thought about how hard it is for me?" 

"Alright." I surrendered.

"I have noticed how much you disliked physical contacts, how you just let me hold your hand because you think  it i