(Daehyun's Perspective)

Why had he agreed to this?

Daehyun awkwardly sipped at his water as he leaned against the wall. In order to avoid physical contact with the many, many people who were at this party, he sunk into himself. The guests here ranged from the neighbours in the other apartments to classmates from Jongup's and Zelo's classes. But all of them had the same thing on their mind.

Partying the night away!

'Maybe I just didn't want to be alone on New Year's?' Then again, as he watched everyone else carrying on and having a good time, he was still alone around all these people. The apartment had been moved around for partying purposes, and the television was set up to stream music from some location Daehyun was unaware of. Every so often, some of the party goers would sing along.

There'd been a few times already that he'd caught himself humming along to the tunes, so close to singing before giving himself a mental slap. If there's anything he's learned over the years, it's that people were much happier when he was quiet. If people are happy, that means they won't yell, and being yelled at made Daehyun want to shrivel away into nothingness.

So even if he wanted to sing, he'd much rather hold it in so he wouldn't risk angering others.

Some people drunkenly stumbled around the buffet table, stuffing their faces with the various finger foods that had been prepared. Daehyun munched a bit on those earlier in the night, and they were pretty tasty! Zelo clearly knew what he was doing. But thoughts of being yelled at for eating so much kept Daehyun from having anymore than that.

His appetite never stayed for long when those sharp comments picked at his brain.

The few times he went into the kitchen to refill his drink tonight, he'd been offered various kinds of alcohol to add to it, schooled on what alcohol goes best with what. After all, who comes to a party like this and doesn't drink?

'Me, I guess,' Daehyun thought with a tired sigh.

Alcohol was something he'd prefer to keep his distance from. It loosens you up, makes you have no restraint in situations where there really should be, and in the end, you don't even remember anything that happened. Too many times he'd been told he was hated when he drank, hollered at for even sipping a glass of wine and ignored until the substance was out of his system.

Zelo checked in on Daehyun when he could, dressed up like a mythical ice queen with his favourite blonde wig and soft wintery blues over his lids. He'd asked to do Daehyun's makeup, too, but he'd declined with the excuse that Zelo should focus on getting himself ready for the party rather than worrying about doing a look for Daehyun.

That's all it was, though. An excuse. Despite wanting to dress up with him the way they used to, Daehyun's perception of being able to do so again was warped. He couldn't view himself in makeup with his best friend as a good thing due to the biting words that settled in his brain. Daehyun wasn't about to ruin Zelo's fun because of his internalizations.

Back when he and Sunhwa had first moved in together, Daehyun would sneak into her makeup sometimes when he felt like being pretty. It was a feeling he adopted from hanging around Zelo so much, just getting the urge every so often to dress up and pretend like he had no cares in the world. Mode, as they called it. Not that Sunhwa's clothes fit him, but that didn't stop him from dolling up his face every so often! Doing so reminded him of happier times back then, and it was an escape of sorts.

Then she found out one day while he was in the midst of it. A situation that ended up with forceful scrubs from a damp washcloth against his face and words that stung his soul.

That stopped him.

Daehyun finished off the last of his water and sighed dejectedly. There was no point in being here and subjecting himself to this sort of torture. At every turn, the things he wanted to do were halted by creeping thoughts that insisted they were looking out for him, and battling with himself like this was giving him a bit of a headache.

'I'll find Zelo and tell him I'm retiring for the night,' Daehyun decided. 'If he asks, I'll say I'm getting a headache and want to go lie down.'

He pushed himself off the wall and began to scan the area for his friend. He wouldn't have been hard to miss considering he was nearly a head taller than all the other guests there, but Daehyun's eyes didn't find him. No, they found someone he never wanted to see again, the very person whose actions had led to this very situation.

Over by the door, arms wrapped around the bicep of another man, was Han Sunhwa.

Panic gripped at Daehyun's chest and his mind as he continued the search for his friend, but now with the added task of not being seen by Sunhwa. 'Great, just great... What am I supposed to do now?'

He stumbled his way into the kitchen, ducking around people with the skill of a trained waiter. Leaving the party was out of the question because Sunhwa was stationed by the door and there's no way he'd slip by her unseen. But staying here would mean she'd definitely see him before the night was over! Then she'd inevitably talk down to him for existing in the same space as her, and he'd feel even worse than he already did...

This was the midst of a lose-lose situation.

It was also not something he wanted to put up with, to think about, to remember. The feeling of his lungs being crushed by the panic, of his breathing refusing to cooperate while his brain was too busy swimming in a pool of self deprecation to be concerned with making sure his lungs still worked.

An idea formed when Daehyun watched someone pour themselves a drink, and he was acting on it before his brain could come back to its senses. Pulling a beer from the fridge, he cracked open the bottle and chugged, tossing the empty bottle into the trash before pulling out another. That bottle didn't last long either, but Daehyun decided he needed something stronger. Something that'd pack a punch to his gut and wipe his brain clean...

Shots, a continuous stream of them until he couldn't think straight anymore. With the first one he downed, the alcohol burning his throat as he swallowed, Deahyun was focused on nothing but making it through the night. The second one, he wished to lose himself quicker. As he was downing his third, Zelo approached him.

“There you are,” he greeted, leaning against the counter and giving a concerned once over to his friend. “You were in that spot for a few hours, hyung, so I kind of panicked when you weren't there. I thought maybe you went to the bathroom, but I found some drunk who thought it'd be hilarious to use my makeup to write on the walls,” he rambled, rolling his eyes as he recounted the memory. “Gracefully kicked that out. Anyways. You good?”

“Um...” Daehyun brought his eyes from his best friend back down to the empty glass in his hand, then over to the bottle in the other. 'Yeah, this doesn't qualify as good.' He nervously his lips before quietly answering, “No, uh... Sunhwa's here?”

Zelo's eyes flashed darkly. “What?” he exclaimed, fuming. “I didn't invite that here! Where the is she? It's chicken time, hyung!” Motioning his hands in front of him in a strangling motion, his head bobbed around as he tried to find her likeness.

Carefully but quickly setting down the fragile things in his hands, Daehyun then pulled Zelo down by the shoulder. “No, no! Stop trying to make chicken time happen, Zelo!” he panicked. He grabbed Zelo by the arm and pulled him back a bit when he started to take a step forward.

He spun around and squinted down at Daehyun, the skirt he was wearing twirling rather beautifully with the motion. “She's on my turf now,” Zelo seethed. “I can't have that!”

“But going up to her and making a scene will only make things worse,” Daehyun pleaded, shoulders tensing and chest tightening from his friend's yelling. “Worse for me... I-I don't want my business being aired to all these people, Zelo... So, unless she does something, then please...”

Zelo took one of his glossed lips between his teeth and sighed. “Fine, hyung. Until then, though...” His eyes glanced over from Daehyun, who was doing his best to avoid eye contact, to the bottle that had been set on the counter. “We're both gonna need something to get through the night.”

“That's what I was doing before you stepped in,” he admitted quietly, turning to pour his fourth shot while Zelo got his own glass. He didn't need to know that Daehyun had more than just the one he'd been taking when he'd walk up earlier. “She was by the door, so I couldn't exactly leave without her seeing me...”

When Zelo's glass was next to his, Daehyun ran the liquor bottle over to fill it. “That's why you moved,” Zelo commented before clinking their glasses together. “We'll keep from over there then.” After they'd tipped their drinks down, he slammed his cup against the counter and breathed out an over exaggerated sigh. “Another.”

One impromptu shot competition later and Daehyun was clung onto his friend's arm with no care in the world. His amazing and tall friend that he'd been drinking with held onto him with just as much fervor as they stumbled out of the kitchen in a mess of giggles. They'd both been upset about something, but... What were they even upset about anymore?

“Okay, okay,” Daehyun started with a slight slur, calming himself from the giggling and gesturing his hand in a vague manner. “What should we do now?”

With a dramatic gasp, his friend began to pat Daehyun's back excitedly. “I know! We can sing, oppa-hyung!”

A boisterous laugh escaped Daehyun's lungs as he leaned his weight against him. “Did you just... Did you oppa me, Zelo?” While he'd said his friend's name, with the way he was slurring a bit, it came out sounding more like 'Jello' than it did 'Zelo'.

Daehyun squinted in amusement at the giggle that left his friend as he was pulled through the crowd and into the living room. “I can call you whatever I want!” he informed me with an aimless hand gesture. “Now, oppa-” Zelo laughed at himself, fanning his laughter with a frantic hand wave at his face. “We're gonna sing, oppa-hyung!”

“What're we gonna sing?” Daehyun asked as Zelo fumbled around on his phone.

“We're gonna sing our ing hearts out, oppa-hyung!” he declared, having some clear trouble with his typing.

“That doesn't answer my question!” Daehyun whined, latching onto his arm and pouting out his lips. “I meant what song...” When Zelo didn't give an answer, Daehyun tugged at his arm.

“Oppa-hyung, give me a second, I'm- Aha!” Happily, he slapped his free hand against his leg before he pulled his arm out of Daehyun's. “Found it! We need... We need...” He glanced around, eyes swimming all over the place to the point that it made Daehyun a bit dizzy to try and follow them. Then his hand clasped tighter around the device in his hand as he stared at it blankly. “Microphone.”

Daehyun thought about pulling his phone from his pocket but ultimately decided he'd just pretend he was holding a microphone with his fist rather than risk dropping his phone. He didn't trust his ability to hold things right now. After Zelo tapped against his phone screen a bit more, tongue sticking out cutely against his glossed lips, a familiar song began to blare through the speakers.

With a sparkle in his eyes, Zelo wiggled his eyebrows to the beat. “Karaoke time, !”

As the two of them belted out the song lyrics that were being displayed on the television screen, a bit off beat for songs they didn't know, they had no cares in the world. No worries of possible repercussions or complaints from everyone else. In this moment, they decided they were going to forget their troubles just like they'd probably forget this ever happened by tomorrow.

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A/N:

I do have my own headcanons on the karaoke songs in this chapter and next chapter, but as I said in the author's note last chapter, leaving it up to the imagination is what I plan on doing unless y'all ask.