Dear Mama Yen-Ling,

Papa is getting worse. He was talking to himself and wrote something in his notebook about haze and bringing you back. I'm scared...for him and for myself and my sisters. I saw my picture along with unnies being pin on the board. I feel like he was gonna do something to us,mama. Papa keep on looking at me like I was a subject for his experiment. He doesn't even acknowledge me nor my unnies as his own children. I think he cannot handle the things happen to his life anymore. I heard what Uncle Heechul said about papa’s previous wives and loved ones. It hurts to know that he was suffering such things all by himself.

One time, Auntie Jihyo (from Running Man ) told me when she came back from the hospital after visiting you, that the doctor who check and keeps you alive wanted Papa to pull the plug. I was confused at first but when Auntie Jihyo explain everything to me, I burst into tears and shut myself inside,crying all day and night. Even though I am still a kid,I know what will happen to you if they pull the plug. Such wisdom is a curse and at the same time,a gift. I wish that I wasn't that smart so that I can avoid experiencing this pain at a young age. 

When papa hears what the doctor said,he became angry and flip everything he saw,shouting and cursing in anger. It took Uncle Heechul,Uncle Lee Soo Man,Uncle Yang Hyung-Suk and Uncle Bang Si-Hyuk to stop him. I'm so scared,mama. Why did the doctor said that to us? Why did they lose