A/N : OKAY BEFORE YOU GO AHEAD AND READ THIS CHAP, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS????? IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE LIKES MY FIC ENOUGH TO CREATE A FANART FOR IT ASKJDFHK I LOVE YOU POMU SENPAI!!! THIS IS ME TYPING FROM THE GRAVE COZ IM FKIN DEAD

ok go ahead. this is half edited coz ya girl got too lazy to properly edit otl all mistakes are on me. weird english is on me

---

 

 

 

Monochromatic Hearts

 

 

"Did Kyungsoo say anything to you?" Jongin's manager asks.

 

Midnight is approaching, and after an extensive practice in the dance room with his choreographer for supervision, Jongin's jaded. Their driver stopped by a restaurant for late dinner and now they're on the way home.

 

"Is he supposed to say anything to me?" 

 

Junmyeon chooses to not mind the snarky tone. "He has his first appointment tomorrow."

 

Jongin regards him with mild disbelief. "Did Kyungsoo say that to you?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Why did he tell you that?"

 

"I asked him, Jongin." Junmyeon says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because clearly you wouldn't."

 

Jongin returns to staring out the window. "My MV filming and jacket shooting starts tomorrow."

 

"That I know. I'm about to ask him who he's going with." Junmyeon says, then turns to face him. "Or maybe you could ask him yourself."

 

Jongin turns to him and is just about to slide in a word or two about it when his manager cuts in again. "You'd think that after 6 weeks from your first meeting with him, you'd contact him by yourself and not through some middlemen like me or Jongdae."

 

Jongin frowns. "I have contacted him before, alright. I texted him."

 

"Then why don't you keep in touch?"

 

The van stops then, having arrived at Jongin's apartment. The driver is still jamming to a girl group song on the radio. Jongin sighs through his nose. "You know, with the way you say things, I'd actually find it a lot easier to believe that you guys are just trying to force a relationship onto us, which I, clearly don't want. So, I'd really like it for you to stop telling me what to do. Please."

 

Junmyeon offers him the longest stare ever, making the idol feel a tad bit uncomfortable, before he snorts, shaking his head. "We're not forcing a relationship onto you two. We're just making sure the baby is healthy along with Kyungsoo. But I guess since you're just going to continue being thick-headed like this, it seems that there's really no point in me updating you about him."

 

Pursing his lips, Jongin throws the door open and scoots to get out.

 

"And I guess the child will have to learn that their other parent does not want them, sadly."

 

Jongin slams the door close with more force than necessary.

 

-

 

After having slipped on some boxer shorts with nothing else, Jongin turns off his bluetooth speakers and shuffles over to his bed, the room casted in darkness with all the lights out except for a small mood light at a corner. 

 

He goes over to the ceiling to floor glass window overlooking the night cityscape, just to try and clear his head. His mind is clouded with uncertainty, and another feeling he can't quite shake off. Maybe he's just tired.

 

While lying on the too large of a bed, not even silk sheets can ease the tension in his muscles. He probably didn't do his stretching right today before and after gym. Running a hand over his abs, he revels in the tautness and hopes it will stay this way during his MV filming and all throughout promotions. Jongin can feel sleep crawling on his eyelids now, but he still fights them as he scrolls through his social media.

 

In the haze of sleep, however, he finds himself typing.

 

"who r u going with"

 

He doesn't bother waiting for a reply as sleep immediately washes over him. 

 

-

 

Winter wolfs down her tuna chunks heartily, happy to have been granted her favourite canned food instead of the usual dry kibbles. Her owner, though, is still scanning the fridge and deliberating on whether or not he should cook, considering their driver just recently dropped him off after work and he's still in his jeans.

 

The still full chilled section suggests he has not cooked for a while, and he guesses that would be the same for tonight. He doesn't bother checking the freezer, opting to not eat any kind of meat for the night. Not that he has much of a choice. Fish is really his best bet should he ever want some fleshy protein.

 

Instead, he cuts some vegetables into a bowl and adds some salt and sugar along with sesame oil and mixes them. He goes over to his room for a quick change into a pair of sweatpants before bringing his salad to the table. Winter is now seen herself clean after the meal, her bowl swept empty. He turns on the television and stabs on a cucumber.

 

The piece of veggie hasn't made itself into Kyungsoo's mouth yet as he halts, eyes trained on the screen as a very familiar face shows up on it. The idol seems so charming with the easygoing attitude he has with his co-actors and the interviewer, an adept front acquired through the years of being in the industry. 

 

Jongin has changed a lot, that Kyungsoo cannot deny.

 

He finally starts digging in, eyes never leaving the screen as they coolly explain about their roles and what to expect in the upcoming drama, breaking into laughter as they quip some comical remarks to each other. Kyungsoo can't help but crack into a smile.

 

When a trailer of said drama rolls in, Kyungsoo finds himself anticipating it even more although he knows he'll only be able to catch up through reruns. It isn't his first drama, and Kyungsoo can pick up the improvement in his acting with a swell of an emotion in his chest. Perhaps it comes with the years of devotion, but Kyungsoo has never been one to lose passion so easily and he has no shame in regards to that. 

 

But this time... maybe he should. He might have a hard time for it, and if it's for the best, maybe he can slowly diverge from the years of marvelling. Or is he too far gone? 

 

A hand subconsciously rubs at his abdomen as he watches the lead actor gleefully recites a wishful message to the viewers to watch the new drama. 

 

-

 

The bump is still almost non-existent if he were to just look at it. The little happy ball must be a small one if it only shows this much at 9 weeks. It can still be hidden underneath oversized shirts and sweaters, but it can only be for so long until people notice how 'fat' he's gotten. He hasn't had the time to think about what to do once the time comes. He might as well look for other jobs in the meantime and spend his free time resting at his apartment. His home. With Winter.

 

Something tugs at his heartstrings.

 

Maybe it just now hits him that he'll be dealing with it on his own. It doesn't matter that his friends keep saying that they'll be there for him in his time of need - in the end, the baby is none of their responsibility. They have lives. They have other commitments, other things to worry about, not some unborn child that isn't even related to them. 

 

Kyungsoo sighs as he removes his daily makeup, watching the transition from looking flawless and vibrantly alive to the pale translucency of his skin and tired eyes. Almost like half death, and he's only part of the makeup staff. He admires those who never cease to act all happy in front of the camera despite their hidden exhaustion.

 

Getting ready for bed, he can see Winter has made herself comfortable at the foot of the bed, looking like a little blob of black ink on the sheets. Kyungsoo carefully slips himself underneath the covers and lays on his side.

 

A piece of paper card sits on his nightstand, and he goes through it just to make sure he doesn't mix up the dates. His appointment starts at 2 in the afternoon tomorrow. Sehun has no schedule tomorrow. He places it back down and stares at the drawer instead.

 

He stares at it for too long, not sleepy enough but lacks the wakefulness to do anything else. He ends up not opening the said drawer and finds himself lying on his back, eyes up at the ceiling. Winter stirs and repositions herself before going back to sleep, making Kyungsoo lean up to check on her. 

 

His eyes eventually land on a shelf on the wall across, at the neat upright stack.

 

He takes his glasses off and places them on the nightstand and makes to sleep, until the buzzing of his phone soon interrupts it.

 

-

 

Jongin wakes up and the first thing he does is to search for his phone.

 

"A friend."

 

He convinces himself he doesn't care enough to ask who.

 

"Your passport?"

 

Jongin is struggling with his blue skinny jeans when Junmyeon barges into the apartment with a light breakfast. 

 

"In my closet, I think. Hold on, I'll look for it." He grunts as he accidentally stumbles on his last night's boxers. He pulls out a few drawers and finds what he's looking for, handing the passport to Junmyeon who slips it into his backpack, because clearly you can't trust a Kim Jongin with something as important as a passport.

 

"Come and have breakfast before we go. Your flight's in 4 hours."

 

Jongin opens the fridge and searches for his bottle of daily protein shake. "Yeah sure let me just--"

 

He stops himself at the sight of a familiar yogurt bottle. 

 

He remembers the way Kyungsoo looked so hesitant trying to give the bottle to him, as if the makeup artist was scared for offending him or some sort. It's just a yogurt. Frowning, he takes out the bottle and checks for the expiry date. It's 4 days past. He forgot to consume it. 

 

"Jongin?" Junmyeon calls out to him.

 

Shaking his head, Jongin goes to the dustbin and tosses it, mildly regretting for having forgotten about it.

 

-

 

Kyungsoo eyes the name DR. JO INSUNG on the nametag, the owner of it jotting something down on the notepad. His assistant has just recorded his blood pressure, height, weight and other details before the specialist comes.

 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Do." He smiles amicably at him, clicking his pen before tucking it into the pocket of his lab coat. "Did you have lunch?"

 

"I didn't have the appetite, doctor..."

 

Dr. Jo hums in slight disagreement. "You probably should have, Mr. Do. I'm afraid this visit might take some time. But I'm guessing your nausea is bad?"

 

"Pretty bad." Kyungsoo shrugs. "How- How long will it take?"

 

"Maybe as long as 2-3 hours, give or take." Dr. Jo says before moving his attention to the guy sitting in another chair. "Your husband?"

 

Baekhyun clears his throat. "No, doctor. I'm his friend."

 

Kyungsoo spares Baekhyun a thankful smile. He initially wanted to go alone, but Baekhyun insisted he has nothing planned for his day so he tagged along. 

 

The doctor returns to Kyungsoo, taking back the notepad of Kyungsoo's patient record. "Oh. You're unmarried. My bad for missing that." He puts it down and clasps his hands together, professionalism written all over his body gestures as Kyungsoo sinks further into his seat. "May I ask if you know who the father is?"

 

Kyungsoo looks at him uncomfortably. "Is it necessary?"

 

The doctor merely smiles. "It would make a few things easier but of course, I can understand if you're not willing to tell me about him. That's fine, too."

 

"Then I'd rather not tell, doctor." Kyungsoo admits. 

 

"If you wish. Do you remember the exact date you conceived? The last time you engaged yourself in penetrative , maybe?"

 

Kyungsoo colours profusely, pursing his lips and looking down at his lap. "Um, it's 30th of August, doctor."

 

"Is this your first pregnancy?"

 

"Yes..."

 

"Have you taken any form of birth control methods before?"

 

Kyungsoo thinks. "Do condoms count?" He hears Baekhyun snort in the background.

 

"They do, actually. Anything that can prevent pregnancy up to a certain percentage is considered a method."

 

Kyungsoo sends a glare at Baekhyun who pretends to read the charts behind him. 

 

Dr. Jo asks a few more questions and then gives him a sterile capped bottle to pee into. Kyungsoo then goes out to fill the bottle, grimacing at the golden colour of his piss. He must have not drank enough water today.

 

"You're terribly dehydrated." Baekhyun points out when Kyungsoo finally returns and places the bottle on the sterile tray. 

 

"Don't look at my piss." He half covers it in shame.

 

"It's just piss, Kyungsoo. Oh, the nurse came by and told me to tell you to strip. They're gonna do some physical exams on you."

 

-

 

After a thorough physical examinations, and other screening tests, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are left to wait for the overall result. Kyungsoo gently rubs at the piece of cotton over the puncture they made for having drawn some blood earlier from his cubital vein. 

 

"Does he know you're having your first visit today?" Baekhyun asks to alleviate the silence. He got bored from reading almost all the charts there while waiting for Kyungsoo's checkup.

 

Kyungsoo is reading a particular poster about the do's and don'ts in pregnancy, having been aware of most of them, though, back at home when he Googled on his own. "Yes. He has his MV filming today."

 

"Oh? Right, I forgot his comeback is soon." Baekhyun side-eyes him a bit cautiously. "Excited?"

 

Kyungsoo stares and traces a 3D embossed poster of a growing foetus in a womb, smiling softly. "You can't imagine."

 

-

 

The doctor finally returns with the notepad, flipping over some pages and squints at some of the information. Kyungsoo can feel himself being scrutinised despite knowing doctors never judge their own patients unless it involves their health.

 

"I'm a little concerned about your weight gain, Mr. Do." Dr. Jo says. "I'm aware that you're skinny, and there's morning sickness to consider, but for the sake of the baby, would you start increasing your food intake? You can take our brochure at the reception area. I believe there's one about a healthy prenatal diet. I can also prescribe you with some supplements."

 

Kyungsoo slowly nods. "Okay, doctor."

 

"Great. Everything else looks okay here. It's a little early to be able to hear the baby's heartbeat for now, so I suggest we do an ultrasound in your next visit?"

 

Obediently, Kyungsoo nods again. Dr. Jo smiles, making his posture relax against the doctor's chair as he leans forward and brings his hand up at face level. "Right now, your baby should be around the size of a strawberry." He crooks his thumb and index finger to the approximate size of the fruit, demonstrating. "This big."

 

Kyungsoo blinks at the doctor's fingers in awe, crooking his own fingers too in his lap. 

 

"It will definitely be a lot bigger in the next few weeks. You can start looking for maternity clothes now." Dr. Jo chirps. 

 

-

 

"Cut!"

 

Jongin waits for the woman to get off of him, certainly not missing the way she caresses her hand against his bicep. He flexes his arms around his head, the cool body chains brushing on his skin. Stretching after having been in the same posture for too long for the filming, he asks for a bottle of water from the staff.

 

With the bed scene done, they're moving him to a different set with a plain black backdrop. He's been told by the director that a few of the shots from here will be included in the album photobook. A staff hands him a glass of pomegranate juice as replacement for red wine, and Jongin sips at it a little, cringing at the intensity of both sour and sweet.

 

Minseok fixes his hair a little and applies another layer of lip stain on his lips while Luhan struggles to keep the body chains in place. He is ushered to a stool there and the cameraman gets up close to get a good shot of his face and neck. When there's the loud clap of the slates together, Jongin carefully drinks the beverage, taking note to drip some off his lips and down his chin. There's the hushed whispers of amazement at his iness in the background from all the staffs that watch him, and he revels in the attention even if they're not exclusively his fans.

 

Soon enough, the photoshoot starts and he adopts a few poses, sending bedroom stares at the lens now and then. Sensual, I want y casual, teasing. These were the words the director had told him. 

 

Their choreography shoot takes place at a rooftop helipad, having gone through so much trouble to get the permission to do so. Safety is prioritised, safe zones marked. Some people are in charge with camera drones as well.

 

The whole filming takes them as good as three days straight, and Jongin passes out as soon as his head meets the pillow.

 

-

 

"Here you go," Junmyeon says, handing the paper bag to Jongin as the idol hops into the car. "It's a girl, right?"

 

"Yeah, thanks."

 

"Jungah?"

 

"Yep. My eldest sister." Jongin shoves his hand inside the paper bag and brings the content out. "Oh, this is pretty."

 

"They don't have a lot of baby quilts with bee prints. I'm not sure why you couldn't just get it customized."

 

"You can do that?" 

 

"If you had asked me a month prior, maybe I could have gotten it done. I know a few people." Junmyeon says before giving instructions to the driver. "Why bees, though?"

 

"Because Jungah-noona likes bee prints."

 

Junmyeon makes a noise of appraisal. "Thoughtful brother you are."

 

Jongin ignores him as he carefully puts the quilt back.

 

-

 

His mother hugs him and steals a loving peck on his cheek, running back to the kitchen before Jongin can chide her for it. His father is apparently outstation, while Jungah's husband has yet to return from work. Jungah owns a cafe in town, and while she's on leave, her best friend temporarily takes care of it. Jungah's husband is a consultant. His mom used to be a nurse, and now she's a stay-at-home mom taking care of Jongin's overweight poodles.

 

Jungah dries her hands before half hugging Jongin, a child on her hip. She then turns to her baby and gently grabs her chubby arm, waving it at her brother. "Rahee, your uncle is here!"

 

Jongin smiles at his niece a little awkwardly, giving her a small wave in response. Jungah suddenly shoves her into his arms. "I need to help Mom. Don't make her cry."

 

And that is how Jongin ends up with a baby on his chest, not knowing how to properly hold one. But it doesn't seem to mind Rahee, for the little girl is busy chewing on Jongin's shoulder and effectively wetting it with her drool. His toy poodles keep on running around him and demanding for attention.

 

With one hand he holds Rahee carefully while another takes out the quilt and spreads it on the floor in front of the television. He then gently lays her down, a string of drool eventually breaks between Rahee's mouth and his shirt and Jongin fights a cringe. He crawls to the coffee table behind him and snatches a few tissues, wiping the wetness away before greeting his dogs jovially.

 

Rahee is babbling to herself until Jongin notices her and lies beside her. The little girl stares at him curiously, probably wondering who he is. Rahee has his eyes, but then again all of his siblings possess the same almond eyes and high brow bone from Jongin's mother. 

 

"It's me, your uncle." He whispers to her, smiling. "Your uncle is Kim Kai." She makes a happy gurgling noise, chewing on her fist sloppily. "You better boast about me to your friends later when you grow up." Jongin jokes, laughing when Rahee cracks into a huge toothless grin.

 

As he continues playing with her, he catches himself thinking of Kyungsoo; of whether it would be a boy or a girl. Of whether he would play with the child just like he plays with Rahee now. Of whether he would actually like the child at all.

 

He suddenly remembers Sehun telling him that Kyungsoo is an orphan. He wouldn't have someone to be happy for him to have a descendant, or young cousins that would play with the child. He wouldn't have aunts or uncles who would be willing to babysit the child if he's busy. He doesn't have anyone at all.

 

Jongin frowns to himself, letting Rahee grip and chew on his fingers happily while he drowns in his monologue. He suddenly can't stop thinking of Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo. And occasionally the baby. His baby.

 

He doesn't know what happened during the prenatal visit; wonders if he should ask. Wonders if it even matters to him. 

 

"Did you buy this?" Jongin hears a gasp followed by a squeal, his sister jogging over to where they're lying. "Gosh, it's adorable!"

 

Jongin snorts, watching his sister coo at the baby quilt. "Only you can squeal at bee prints."

 

"Mom, look what Jongin got me!" Jungah shouts gleefully. 

 

-

 

After having a homemade dinner together, Jongin lounges on the sofa with the television on while Jungah tries to make Rahee sleep. Their mother has long since retired to bed. Jongin finds that he's more focused on his niece than the actual show on the television.

 

"Did you notice she has all of our eyes?" Jungah giggles. Jongin nods in agreement. "Seongho has droopier eyes, but Rahee decided to take after my eyes."

 

"Does she take after anything from Seongho-hyung?" Jongin asks.

 

Jungah hums in thought, tilting her head to get a good look at Rahee's face. "I notice her lips are less fuller. Not like us. I guess that's from Seongho." She says, patting Rahee's bum as she slowly drifts into slumber. "You know, I actually had a dream about her."

 

"A dream?"

 

"You know what they say about pregnant mothers tending to have strange dreams? In my dream, I saw a little girl playing by a river. She looked excited at the prospect of being able to catch a fish, but cried when she couldn't do it with her tiny hands. And you know what happened? A grizzly bear came to her with a caught fish in its mouth, dropping it by the girl's feet. There were no other bears around, though, so it was weird how this bear even got to her in the first place."

 

Jungah eventually stops patting her once she's assured that Rahee has fallen into a deep sleep. Jongin patiently waits as she places her carefully on the quilt.

 

"So it turned out that the bear came to her from a different part of the woods, and it travelled along the river banks just to find her. There was a beehive hung on a tree across the river. It seemed that some of the bees told the bear about it, flew all the way to the other side of the river to find the bear and relay their worries for the little girl. The bees just wanted her to be happy."

 

Jungah smiles down at Rahee with adoration in her eyes. "That's how I found out it was going to be a girl. I was only 4 months along when I had that dream."

 

Jongin ponders. "Did you ever think that it was just reflecting your love for bees, though?"

 

"Maybe," Jungah says, grinning playfully at him. "Maybe not. Who knows? One thing for sure is that I was convinced it was going to be a girl while my husband firmly wanted a boy."

 

"Was he disappointed? When Rahee was first born?"

 

"A little I guess, but when you're excited to become a father, that little detail becomes insignificant. He was really happy. God, I remember how Seongho cried when he first saw her." His sister chuckles at the memory before sighing dreamily. "I think I would cry once she learns to call me mom."

 

Jongin stares at the sleeping toddler, at her full cheeks with a healthy redness to them. 

 

-

 

"Mom, if there's a scandal about me, would you believe it?" Jongin stops gutting the anchovies in his bowl, growing sick of it. He'd rather go back to sleep. He already woke up late but he still feels sleepy.

 

His mother looks at him calculatingly. "Would you not tell me beforehand? If it's real or not?"

 

"I might." Jongin shrugs, still looking at her for an answer. He can hear Rahee's crying in the background and his sister comforting her with some baby rhymes.

 

"Then I'd just sit it out and wait for you to tell me about it." His mother says, pushing her bowl of finished anchovies to the side and slides Jongin's bowl to her. "You told me how shady the industry can get."

 

"I did." Jongin chews on his lip thoughtfully. "I think the agency will release one about me."

 

"What makes you think so?"

 

Because I accidentally made someone pregnant. "They told me about it."

 

His mother smiles. "Then I trust you would tell me about it once it happens."

 

"Are you not worried about how it might affect my career? About how upset it might make me? "

 

His mother guts the anchovies smoothly and quickly. "I believe the agency knows what's best for you. But in terms of your happiness, only you can decide about it." 

 

His happiness? Jongin finds happiness on stage, finds happiness in the screams of his name, finds happiness in his fansites' gifts for him. Jongin finds happiness in attention and praises.

 

Will his happiness be shattered once they're all gone?

 

"Oh? Look!" His mother exclaims, pointing to the television. "Your new drama is showing next week!"

 

Jongin watches himself on the screen, pride swelling in his chest along with a thin layer of anxiety that creeps up to him and leaves him constantly restless.

 

-

 

The three days spent at his parents' house is really just him lazing around the house and occasionally babysitting Rahee as Jungah helps with the house chores. He slept in in all the three days, catching up on his much needed sleep after countless of hours of practicing at the agency. 

 

He finds himself thinking most of the time, too. Often about the possibility that some ambitious paparazzi follows him all the way to Kyungsoo's house and finds out he's meeting up with a pregnant male late at night. Of course, he trusts the agency will take it down if ever a journalist is to write an article about it, but rumours are not generally taken well by fans, and once such rumour springs up, they will definitely begin to doubt; and doubts are never good.

 

With Rahee on his chest and drooling on his shirt (again), he finds himself blushing a little when Rahee beams at him even though he does nothing. She squirms happily on top of him, limbs moving wildly and raining light punches on his chest. 

 

Jongin lifts her up and bounces her legs on his lap, earning even more happy squirms from the little Rahee. 

 

"Rahee-yah, don't tell anyone else but," Jongin whispers, feeling stupid for talking to a child who still babbles in baby language. He watches her tiny mouth yawn despite her current active nature. "You will actually have a cousin."

 

-

 

"Kim Kai to comeback with a y concept with 'BODY'"

Creative countdown in the form of slowly filled wine glass. Teaser to drop soon.

Mini album details will be released soon.

[Photo]

Source : Daily Entertainment via Naber

 

1.[+5,532 -476] 'y concept' wow... 

2. [+3,843, -340] It's about time!! He's in his mid twenties so of course one of his title tracks should be a y song

3. [+2,362, -210] I don't think it will be that explicit considering it's SM and SM still considers the general public... Maybe it's Dean kind of y rather than Jay Park y. But I'm definitely anticipating~

4. [+1150, -187] Kim Kai is out for blood... and by blood I meant from our noses...

5. [+768, -104] I wouldn't say the wine glass thing is creative, but I do agree that it kinda have a y vibe to it

 

-

 

After the short break, returning to the city spawns both excitement over the soon release of his new music as well as the dread of having a full plate for at least a month and a half of promotions. It's the same cycle of anticipation for the fans' and public feedback, the joy of performing and looking his best on camera as well as interacting with fans, and of course, the exhaustion of seemingly never ending schedules. It's been five years, and one would think that he's used to it already after having released over a dozen of albums - repackaged and mini albums included. But he as a contracted idol, knows better than to speak of his burnouts to someone who isn't close with him. Expectedly, Junmyeon knows him best, has seen him at his highs and lows, has given him one advice too many; and as much as he refuses to admit it, his manager is easily the closest thing he has to a brother figure. Sehun comes close to second.

 

A teaser is scheduled to be released a week from now. Hype is generated through his official website, a countdown in the form of a wine glass that is slowly filled up to the brim hour by hour. So far, the audience seems to like this change of image, considering he's never done a y concept as the title track, despite having many side tracks with a similar sound. 

 

After dance practice, one of the dancers, Kasper, suggests going for coffee at the cafe. Jongin sees nothing wrong with that as he tags along, having no schedule afterwards. He plans on staying in for self practice and gym until midnight, and might as well slide some energy before that. The two males discuss over their routines as they wait for the elevator and continue so even after having arrived at the ground floor.

 

The SUM cafe is, as always, packed with fans who sometimes spend their free time there for a chance of seeing their idols, filling up the tables with their laptops or photo card album for trading. As soon as they recognize the two guys who just exited the lift as Jongin and the well-known dancer Kasper, they instantaneously take out their phones and whisper among themselves, but some of them are bold enough to call out for their names and crowds closer, only having to be stopped by security before they reach Jongin within a 10-metre radius. There's no one manning the VIP lane, prompting them both to use one of the regular lanes, which is pretty okay since the lines are not as long.

 

His casual conversation with Kasper, however, is disrupted when Jongin's eyes settle on one of the two guys in front of them. Upon noticing the distracted idol, Kasper looks forth too, and makes a surprised noise as he exclaims. "Moonkyu, my guy!"

 

The taller male turns around at the call, his face breaking into a delighted recognition at the people behind him, landing a friendly punch against the dancer's chest. Moonkyu is one of Sehun's dancers. "Hey, Kasper! Oh? And Jongin!" He raises his hand up for a high five, and Jongin returns the gesture albeit a little less enthusiastic after knowing who the person beside him is.

 

It's evident that the smaller male is stunned to hear the name as Jongin watches him turn around to them with surprise written all over his face. Their eyes meet, and as if stuck in a standstill, they stay that way until Kyungsoo's the one to tear his gaze away first, bowing to them a little.

 

Moonkyu whips to Kyungsoo beside him, placing his hands on the latter's shoulders, effectively making Kyungsoo jerk in surprise at the action. "Oh, this is Kyungsoo, Sehun's makeup artis--"

 

"I know." Jongin cuts him off, and maybe Kasper is shooting him a strange look, maybe not. He doesn't care.

 

"Oh," Moonkyu glances at Kyungsoo. "So you know each other, then?"

 

"Not me," Kasper laughs as he holds his hand out for a handshake to which Kyungsoo gently reciprocates. "I'm Kasper, one of his dancers." He nudges Jongin's shoulder with his own, not knowing how troubled the idol feels right now.

 

Kyungsoo manages the guy a nervous smile, chancing a look at Jongin as he simply mutters a "Cool."

 

"Awesome. Hey, our turn now." Moonkyu quips as he braces his hands against the counter and cites his order to the staff. 

 

Jongin merely watches as they both casually discuss about their orders, observing how Moonkyu moves and changes positions too damn much compared to the still Kyungsoo while Kasper at the side eyes him oddly. From the back, Kyungsoo is awfully small, the width of his shoulders almost half as those of Moonkyu. 

 

And really, the image should've come with a warning but Jongin catches himself picturing a scene of one's clothed back holding himself upright against a divider with mild struggle. Jongin blinks it away, certain that it wasn't just an imagination. A fragment of a memory, perhaps?

 

Moonkyu and Kyungsoo soon receives their order number and step out of the line, and Jongin and Kasper move forward as the staff greets them a good afternoon. Jongin orders himself a latte, and while waiting for Kasper, he quickly takes his phone from his pocket and goes to his chat. 

 

"please see me for a bit. washroom beside aria lounge"

 

By the time he pockets his phone, the staff has already produced their order number and Kasper nudges him by the elbow so they can step aside. He steals a glimpse at the two other males, seemingly already receive their orders as they walk off. Jongin hopes Kyungsoo reads the text soon enough, and is reassured when Kyungsoo sneaks a fathomable glance at him. He's read it.

 

Their orders are handed to them, and he shoves his latte to a puzzled Kasper. "Gotta piss. 2 minutes."

 

"I'm timing you," Kasper jokingly says as he holds onto Jongin's latte. 

 

Without wasting time, Jongin power walks to the mentioned restroom, ignoring the fans' cries of his name as he turns a corner. He guesses he should've expected that there will be people using it, seeing as there are two men at the urinals. 

 

Kyungsoo looks up from his phone when the main door bursts open, leaning away from the row of sinks as he acknowledges Jongin's presence with an anxious look. Jongin feigns indifference for a while and waits it out, going over to the urinals and spends there long enough to wait for the two men to leave. He didn't think he wanted to actually piss before, so he's surprised when his leaks some.

 

When the strangers finally exit, he zips up and tells Kyungsoo to lock up while he washes his hands, faintly noticing how stiff the other male is as he avoids looking at him. Jongin thinks it's ridiculous since they both have anyway, but he guesses it's a matter of courtesy.

 

Soon enough, they're alone at last. Jongin snatches a few napkins to dry his hands while Kyungsoo remains stoic by the door, not facing Jongin. It's only when the idol goes over to the bin, which is near the door, does Kyungsoo turn around to face him. 

 

"You texted me."

 

Jongin blinks down at him. "I did." He wets his lips as he studies the nervous expression Kyungsoo's wearing. "I wanted to... talk."

 

"Okay." Kyungsoo says, fixing his bangs and only now does Jongin realize it's a nervous tick rather than the need to actually fix anything. "Moonkyu's waiting outside."

 

Jongin translates this to 'we need to be quick'. "Kasper too." He guesses he should really learn of the urgency to be quick but he can't do just that as he continues to stare at Kyungsoo who's fiddling with the hair on his nape next as he looks at Jongin expectantly.

 

He has his round glasses on, and Jongin finds it hard to believe the smaller male is older than him when he looks up at him with those doe eyes, accentuated by those glasses. "How was the appointment?" Jongin begins.

 

Kyungsoo is taken aback by the enquiry but soon regains his calm. "It... went okay. The baby's okay." Jongin doesn't miss the way Kyungsoo brushes his hand on his abdomen for a second. "As big as a strawberry, the doctor said."

 

"Strawberry?"

 

Kyungsoo nods, hesitantly curving his fingers like how the doctor demonstrated to him. Jongin regards the action a bit strangely before understanding what he's trying to show him. He returns to meeting the shorter male's eyes. "That's small." He blurts out.

 

And Jongin isn't prepared to see his eyes light up as Kyungsoo breaks into a small giggle. "It's considered big, though. It'll be even bigger."

 

This is the most animated Jongin has seen Kyungsoo talking to him, and maybe the latter realises it too as he suddenly feels the need to clear his throat and fiddles with his glasses. Jongin is sure the blush on Kyungsoo's cheeks isn't a mere artificial pigment.

 

"Who's the friend?"

 

"Huh? Oh, Baekhyun went with me." Jongin raises an eyebrow at the name. The way Kyungsoo texted him before made it sound like it's some person Jongin didn't know. He believes it'd be too much if he asks for an elaboration, so he doesn't.

 

"You could've just asked me through text, Jongin. I don't want to steal your time." Kyungsoo says. "You have a comeback to prepare."

 

Ouch. Maybe Kyungsoo doesn't want to be in his presence for too long. "Where are you heading?"

 

"Um, lunch outside."

 

"With Moonkyu?"

 

"With others..." Kyungsoo mutters. "We're just grabbing coffee for some of them. I'm- I'm not taking coffee, though." Kyungsoo adds, and Jongin isn't sure what to get from that. Maybe it's another prenatal thing.

 

Well, that makes sense. But then again, it shouldn't really come as a surprise if he's actually close with Moonkyu. Junmyeon has mentioned before that Kyungsoo befriends everyone. It's just that for someone as loud as Moonkyu, Jongin doesn't think he could click with a calm and reserved Kyungsoo.

 

A sudden thud on the door startles both of them, forcing them to exchange a look between the other. 

 

"The hell... Is it on maintenance..." They both hear the muffled voice from outside, and faded footsteps soon follow. 

 

"I think I better go." Kyungsoo says urgently in a hushed tone and he quickly turns to leave, but then stops himself and looks back.

 

"Good luck with your comeback, Jongin," There is a tiny hint of a smile on his lips as Kyungsoo says this, and it's the only thing Jongin sees before the makeup artist spins on his heels and unlocks the door, making his exit.

 

Jongin is then left alone in the men's room, watching his own fingers crook into a small circle until he foolishly realizes what he's doing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

 

A/N : im gonna take a short break from this fic so i can try to finish the continuation of stay gold from fko. u can try reading it if u're interested!

in the meantime, leave some comments? :3