As you all can see from the title of this chapter, this is the ANGST PART of the story :'D I apologize in advance if I make you cry on Christmas :'b Nonetheless, I love you guys and Merry Christmas!  

Days have passed so quickly that the event is just around the corner with only 2 more days ahead. Thankfully, the preparation is almost finished left with only printed labels to be placed on each booths. Sana and Dahyun is getting more friendly with each other than before. But Sana is still being careful like she always has, so there are times where she would shut Dahyun off all of a sudden. At first, it made the latter confused because Sana acted like nothing happened the next day when they meet again. However, Dahyun is now getting herself used to it despite not knowing the reason for it. Thus, this also made Dahyun to be unsure if she should ask the older girl the question that she has been meaning to ask.

Jihyo who secretly know everything about Dahyun decided to keep quiet when she realized that the two girls are just one step ahead from telling the truth to each other. She thought that she has been involved enough so she decided to laid low this time, letting her two beloved ones to solve it on their own.

And as expected, Park Jihyo is always right...

“It's almost time, Miss Minatozaki.” The doctor said on the other line of the phone-call. Sana's heart ache, almost stop beating after receiving the bad news. It's happening, she thought as the fear slowly engulf her body making her to feel so scared to the point that her legs trembled really hard. The fear that I've been trying to deny, she said on her mind with a blurry vision due to her tears that started to flood her eyes.

“He only have a few more days. If we're lucky, he will have a week.” The doctor continued only making Sana to start sobbing quietly inside the restroom. Thankfully, she is alone in the small room because it is during lecture hour which is just a few more minutes before lunch time. Sana was having her lecture when her phone distract her attention away from her lecturer as it vibrate constantly only to receive a call from Jaebum's doctor. When she saw the doctor's name appear on her small screen, her heart drop like a ball being pulled by the gravity. Nonetheless, she hoped for a good news from the doctor or at least just to tell her that Jaebum's state is maintaining fine. However, it was the other way round.

I'm sorry, Jaebum. Sana covered with her other free hand, trying her best not to scream. I knew it. I can't be too happy. She put her phone down to end the call. It was too soon to end it but because of her lost mind at this rate, she can't even utter a word to form from .

My happiness will only lead to sorrow. She fell on her knees hitting the floor with a 'thump', her head is facing down the floor with her still blurry vision. It's like a curse to Sana; she knew her life will never get better, not with this guilt eating her alive.

Too selfish. Her heart is still heavy as she grasp her trouser so tight while closing her eyes.

I'm too selfish for this world. Allowing her tears roll down her cheek when she let her eyes shut.

I shouldn't even live. Sana finally cried out loud without minding the world for once.

It's a coincidence but more like fate because Dahyun was on her way to the rest room to wash her sleepy face. Few more minutes, she thought to herself and sighed. Hang in there, Kim Dahyun.

When the girl is busy with her own little world, she then got distracted by the sound of crying. She noticed that the cry is coming from the place she wanted to be. As soon she is close by, she immediately enter to check the owner of the cry.

“Who is it?” She asked full of worried when she stepped inside.

Suddenly, her mind went blurry making her sleepiness wash away without even having to use water. Just like a broken glass, she can feel like her heart shattered at the sight of her crush, Sana crying on the floor. She recognized the girl at one glimpse and her heart drop at the scene of seeing her break.

Without wasting any time, Dahyun hurried toward the crying girl as she knelt in front of her. Her eyes filled with worried, Dahyun hold Sana by the shoulder while her other free hand is searching for the older girl's hand. She was kneeling close to her, closer like they had never been before.

“What's going on? Is everything okay?” Dahyun asked, her face turned pale which shows how much she worried.

Sana avoid eye contact with Dahyun; refuse to look her in the eye. She was too scared to face the younger girl or anyone at this moment. Part of her urge her to run away from Dahyun, but her heart feels heavy to leave the girl. Dahyun's touch is warm despite her pale-looking face and it made Sana's sob turn into a loud cry which cause the younger girl to worry even more.

“Sana, answer me!” Dahyun almost yelled in frustration, unresponsive Sana is only giving her more reasons to worry. She can feel Sana's grip on her hand tightened but she is still not looking at Dahyun. So the younger girl use both of her hands to cup Sana's face, forcing the older girl to turn her head to her.

She's a mess, Dahyun thought when their eyes finally meet. She's a beautiful mess.

She noticed that Sana's eyes and nose are red now, causing her face to wet by her tears which made her eyeliners to worn out too. Dahyun helped her wipe the tears away, caressing her cheek gently while she's at it.

“It's not okay Dahyun...” Sana finally spoke with weak eyes looking at Dahyun. Something about the way she gaze send a shooting sensation in the younger girl's heart.

“I-I'm not okay...” Her tears is streaming down her face again. Dahyun can feel her hand dampened by the tears. Their face is quite close that Dahyun can feel Sana's unsteady breathing just in front of her.

“I'm not fine.” Sana shook her head and it automatically removed Dahyun's hands on her face. It's a cry for help, Dahyun is sure of it.

She swore her tears almost fall at the sight of the crying Sana, but she force herself to hold it in because she knew it will only make the situation even worse. Dahyun bit her lower lip, fighting with her own self trying so hard not to break in front of Sana. She had to admit how much it hurt her to see the one that she love is now crying in pain. This time, Dahyun moved her hand to Sana's shoulder before she pulled the older girl into a tight hug, wrapping her arm around her.

“W-whatever happened to you, let me help you.” Dahyun pleaded. She can feel Sana's arm locking her small waist, replying the hug not even a second after. Dahyun pulled Sana gently by her head even closer to her until there is no more gap left between the two of them. Sana grasped the back of Dahyun's shirt, clutching on it so tight like her life depend on it as she cried continuously on the younger girl's shoulder.

She didn't say a word after that, she only bury her face on the younger girl's neck. The hug is still tight but it's comforting and warm that they decided to stay like that until Sana is finally okay again. Dahyun just closed her eyes where at some point during that moment, she failed battling with herself as she let a tear fall from her eyes.

When all classes is about to end and it's already time for lunch, Dahyun decided to bring Sana to the roof top to help the older girl calm down even better and to provide more privacy for her. She manage to bring Sana to her secret hangout place with no difficulty because the girl had calm down a little.

“Here.” Dahyun hand a bottle of water to Sana who is sitting close to her side. Dahyun never let go of her arm around Sana's shoulder, grabbing it to ensure the older girl that she is there with her.

Sana took the bottle and gulped in the water as she felt really thirsty after the crying. She wiped using her long sleeve before putting the bottle away. Then, she hugged her knees while leaning her chin on top of her arm. Dahyun decided to let go of her arm that has been wrapping around Sana all the way up here. She copy the same posture as the older girl but instead of putting her chin on her arm, she placed her cheek on it as she faced Sana with her reassurance smile on her face.

“Dahyun,” Sana turn her head slightly at the younger girl.

“Yes?” Dahyun never leave her eyes away from Sana.

“I want you to meet someone.” Sana told her when their eyes meet again. It took Dahyun a while to respond to her because at this rate, she didn't know what to expect anymore.

“Okay.” She only nodded.

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu was looking for Dahyun at the rest room right after their class, but she was already leaving with Sana when they came in. Of course they would be worried because Dahyun was in her sleepy state when she walked out from their class. She could be found sleeping anywhere, Chaeyoung shook her head at the thought; not knowing what is really going on with her friend.

Soon after, Nayeon came inside the rest room along with Mina. Their face turn into a worry expression when they found out that Sana is not in there. They too, had no idea where Sana's where-about is after their lecture.

“Did you guys see Sana in here?” She asked the two girls who were looking on the mirror; one is fixing her hair while the other one is applying lip balm on her lips. Nayeon only received a shook on the head from Tzuyu who is at the same time putting away her lip balm.

“We're looking for Dahyun too. She went missing as well.” Tzuyu said making Nayeon to raise her eyebrows, a little surprised to hear the news. It took Chaeyoung quite a moment to slowly pick up the situation. She nodded gently to herself, she hope that she is right about her two friends. Most importantly, she hope that they are safe together.

“I don't think we need to worry about it.” Chaeyoung finally voice out.

“What are you talking about? Sana is not in a good state at the moment. She's been laughing a lot more than usual as if she is about leave a good memory with us.” Nayeon is freaking out, the three of them can tell that.

“I- well, let's not go that far because I personally think the two of them are together right now.” Chaeyoung said again, not really convincing but at least it make sense.

“How do you know that?” Nayeon asked the bob-haired girl. She is still unsure of it.

“I just do.” The latter responded forming a reassuring smile to the older girl. Truthfully even for Chaeyoung, she is unsure of it too.

Sana and Dahyun is leaving the building just like the other students who went out for lunch except that the two girls is not going out for the same reason. Looking at the three group of friends passing by them made Dahyun remembered of Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. She forgot to let them know for her sudden disappearance, so she send a short text to Chaeyoung, just enough to let her know that she is with Sana and that they are going to be okay.

Chaeyoung sighed in relief as soon she received her friend's message. She was glad to know that her prayer and probably her friends too is being heard. So she share this good news with them when they were sitting together at the cafeteria. With less worry now, they decided to grab lunch together before going to the Core building to check their event place like the usual.

When Sana told Dahyun that she want her to meet someone, Dahyun had no idea that this someone is 2 kilometer away from their university. She is not complaining about it though, it just made her curious and feel nervous at the same time. Instead of asking Sana to fulfill her curiosity, Dahyun only stared outside the window from Sana's car to guess where they are going. That's when she saw a white small signboard with a red cross on it.

Hospital, Dahyun is familiar with this route as she used to come to this place a lot recently as a little kid when she got her first chicken pox. This will also be the place where she will have her first clinical placement next year. She peek at Sana who is driving the car with a serious look on her face. Then, she turn back to face the window only to be greeted by the security at the gate who waved at her with a smile. In front of them is a big white building, with large windows and spacious parking lot at the front, at the side and even under the building. Although the parking is big, it's still insufficient for the residents because all of the free parking lots in front of the building are now fully occupied. Sana drove down the basement where they have to pay fee for parking which she didn't mind at all since this isn't her first time.

The same environment greeted Sana, she is used to hearing the buzzing noise coming from the large store at the basement parking area. Dahyun followed Sana by walking beside her while her eyes wander around the dark steamy place. Suddenly, nervousness creep onto Dahyun's mind at the thought of meeting this someone that Sana had told her at the rooftop. Still, Dahyun didn't say anything and only gulp hard as she follow the older girl who is leading the way.

After walking for a quite some time with few turns before taking the lift, they finally arrived in front of the many people standing near to the opened door. Sana quickly grab Dahyun's hand to walk away from the place, exiting to the stairway at the right side near the elevator. They escaped way too soon that they didn't let the group of people in front of them to even have the chance to notice their presence.

Dahyun is confused, so she frown her eyebrows before she finally speak to Sana who is still holding her hand.

“What happened?” She asked curiously.

“I'm not ready for this.” Sana answered, forming crystal on her eyes. She didn't look at Dahyun when she answered. And that's when Dahyun realized that the girl is about to cry again.

“Okay.” Dahyun said with a soft voice. “But not ready for what?” She continued to hold hands with the latter. Sana took this chance to lean forward to place her forehead on the latter's chest. Dahyun let go of her hands to caress Sana's head carefully as she put her chin on top of her crown while wrapping her other arm around the older girl. Sana's height is taller than her so Dahyun had to tiptoed a little to make sure Sana is comfortable.

After a few moment of silence, Sana tilt her head to face Dahyun and stared on the younger girl's eyes. Their face is really close now that Dahyun can see how red and puffy the girl's eyes is after crying so much. Nevertheless, her eyes is still shinning and beautiful that made the younger girl's to be so absorbed by the beauty. Her eyes is not the only feature that disturbed the latter, but her small lips is grabbing her attention too. How can you so beautiful even when you cry? Dahyun asked herself in her head.

“For what I'm about to lose.” She uttered making the younger girl to snapped out from her thought. She is confused that her head is starting to ask a lot of question.

“What are you losing?” She don't understand, heck she had no single idea of what is actually happening at the moment. She become anxious due to her constant curiosity but she know if she could be patient to keep up with Sana, she will get her answer or at least that's what she hope for.

“My boyfriend.” Sana answered. Of course, Dahyun is more shock than feeling confuse after hearing the first sentence coming out from Sana's mouth. Honestly, she knew from the very beginning that she shouldn't be too surprised when she hear this news because Sana is beautiful, smart and kind that all males in the world would want to be with her. And Dahyun would be lying if she said that it didn't hurt the younger girl's heart to finally hear it from her.

“My dying boyfriend is in that room. He's been in coma for almost a year now after he got himself in a severe car accident. What's worse is, I am the cause of it.” Sana sniffed in between those sentences. She stopped talking when a horrified look can be seen from Dahyun's face.

“I'm sorry.” The only sentence she manage to uttered afterward. She started weeping on the younger girl's chest again with her hands grasping her shirt so hard in front of her.

Dahyun felt like her heart is stabbed by a sharp knife. It's like someone is poking her heart violently which made the girl to grunt at the idea of the pain. Her hands that were originally holding Sana is now hanging freely beneath them. She want to run away, the thought is urging her to push Sana away so she can escape from her hold. Dahyun want to cry without having Sana to see her, she want to break away and lose control to fulfill her anger and pain. She is tempted by the idea; holding Sana's hand one more time before she remove it from her chest to allowed her to leave. But how could she? She love this girl so much that all she want right now is to stay by her side. Dahyun let her tears fall in front of Sana, it was unintentional but Dahyun had already given up on trying to hold it in because the pain from her heart is killing her entirely. Thus, she break too like a fragile glass that is finally breaking after building walls to protect itself from being broken. Sadly, the glass break itself from a small scratch that was originally in there but was unnoticed.

I shouldn't have hope too much, now I pay the price. Dahyun sniffed while shutting her eyes closed with the thought; betrayed by her own feel, her own heart and her own self.

It's so unfair.

The girls share the same heartbreak, crying in front of each other like there is no tomorrow. Although Dahyun's cry is quieter than Sana but they both feel the same amount of pain in their hearts. Dahyun took a deep breath occasionally and let out deep sigh as she try to stop from crying. But whenever she tried, she failed to do so because Sana is grabbing her harder every single time which made the girl only to fist her own hands.

Hesitantly, Dahyun tried to hold Sana's arm again. The reason why she didn't in the first place is because she is afraid, just all of a sudden she felt like she is the cause for Sana's yet again wailing.

She said she is sorry. But what is it for? None other, all I can think of right now is that she must've known for my feelings.

Her shaky hands slowly approached the older girl's arms, pushing her gently to break the physical contact between them.

Because if it isn't, then why would she be sorry all of a sudden?

Dahyun gulped her own thought while taking a final deep breath before she spoke again.

“Sana,” She called with a weak voice.

Sana respond to the girl's call by lifting her head slowly to face her. She is sweating, Dahyun noticed despite knowing that most of it is from her tears. They have been by each other's grip for quite a long time now with less space making the two of them to sweat by the body contact, moreover with their teary eyes that only cause more wetness from their face. Dahyun bit her lower lip, feeling nervous with what she is about to say to the latter.

“I-I'm going to be by your side no matter what happen.” Dahyun gulped hard, “So you can always lean on me. Just don't shove me away when I'm trying to help you.” She manage to form a sweet smile for Sana.

How can I deserve someone this good? Sana cry at the thought. Her grip is getting loose as she let herself fall on her knees in front of Dahyun who is caught her, continue to grabbing her by her shoulder.

She deserve so much better. Sana palmed her face with both of her hands, trying to avoid Dahyun who happen to be so close to her face.

I don't deserve her. Dahyun's voice that is calling for her name is fading away as Sana felt like she is trapped in her cage of guilt, now drifting away from the world causing her to lose herself.

She is everyone's happy pill, but I made her cry. I broke her heart. I hurt her. I took advantage of her. I am... too selfish. Her constant self-hatred is killing herself, making her to shut the world as she indulge in her own misery.

“Sana, look at me!” Dahyun called again while shaking the older girl's body by her shoulders to get her attention. Another pull of force from her hand and a gentle shift from her face awakened Sana from her thought as Dahyun gently cupped Sana's face again after removing her hand from it.

“Please stop hurting yourself.” She told her, but more like a plead like she is begging for Sana to be happy again. She know it's not easy, but it doesn't matter if she is being desperate for it.

“Please?” She said again, now grabbing the older girl's hand. Sana nodded gently before she put her arm around Dahyun, embracing her again with a less heavy heart.