Shinhye…

Itaewon…

Shinhye lay flat on her stomach as she lifted her upper extremities by her palms. In her urdhva mukha svanasana pose, she concentrated on her inner peace, forgetting about what happened the other night. She wanted to bury her developing feelings for Yonghwa. But their conversation that night kept replaying in her head. She should’ve let him explain when he was about to. But her scared and hesitant self didn’t want to hear that the woman in the picture was his girlfriend. She deeply sighed before shifting her position into a dolphin pose.

The other night…

Shinhye felt Yonghwa’s warm yet sweaty hands softly grasp the picture from hers. She followed his hands as he placed the picture behind his back and looked at him. He was still tense and looked annoyed. She figured he was annoyed because she saw the picture. But he surprised her and gave her a comforting smile.

“I’m embarrassed.” He nervously chuckled. But she saw that he was thinking carefully what to say. “I don’t know why I still have this here. She’s my-“

“Aniya. Mianhada. You don’t have to explain. I was sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.” She gave him a nervous smile after cutting him off.

He still had the picture behind his back as if he was hiding it. “I should explain to you so there won’t be any misinterpretations. Sasileun, she’s my-”

Shinhye placed her left arm on his upper arm and gave him a light squeeze. “You really don’t have to explain. It’s not like we are entering a relationship or anything. You’re my friend.”

She felt a pang of sadness as she stressed the word friend. But how she said it wasn’t only to reassure Yonghwa but herself and her heart. She looked at him and thought she saw sadness in his eyes. But he wouldn’t be sad over her assurance. He had a girlfriend.

She thought to change the subject before their friendly dinner ruins more. “Waah… jinjja baegopa. Let’s have dinner before it gets cold.”

She quickly maneuvered herself around Yonghwa and headed back out his office door. She could hear him deeply sigh before he started following behind.

Shinhye stood up and balanced herself on one leg while holding her palms together over her chest. She closed her eyes and breathed hard. It didn’t matter to her when he tried to explain the picture. It wasn’t her place to hear his explanation so she brushed off the conversation and tried having a normal dinner with him but their night was just as awkward.

♦

Ring… ring… ring…

‘Halmeoni!’

Shinhye sat cross-legged on her mat and displayed a huge comforting grin on her face.

‘Aga! I haven’t heard from you in so long.’

‘Mianhe halmeoni. I’ve been busy and occupied with my thoughts.’

‘Wae? Did something happen? Gwenchaenha?’

Shinhye bit her lower lip, not sure whether to mention anything about Yonghwa and her feelings. But she also wanted to hear her grandmother’s comforting and wise advice.

‘Ani. I’ve just been busy with yoga.’ She couldn’t mention anything about Yonghwa. ‘Geundae halmeoni, my yoga classes are very popular! I have a full class every day and even have classes at night.’

She heard her grandmother laugh sweetly and it made her sadder wishing she was with her grandmother.

‘Aigoo nae aga is very cool. Jalhaesseo! I knew you would be very successful.’

‘Gomawo halmeoni.’ She sighed deeply.

‘Wae?’

‘Halmeoni, jinjja jinjja bogosipda.’

‘Nado. But I’m very proud and relieved you are enjoying life.’

‘I’m grateful for my life here now. I made really great friends with Semi and Yonghwa.’ She bit her lip again and lightly whacked her head for mentioning Yonghwa.

‘Yonghwa? Namja? I remember you mentioning Semi before. Waah… nae aga is already looking for a husband?’ Youngae teased.

‘Halmeoni!’ Shinhye pouted. ‘It’s not anything like that. We’re friends. And he already has a yeojachingu.’

‘I hear a hint of sadness in your voice.’ Youngae became worried when Shinhye’s sad tone registered a thought. ‘So, he’s a friend you have feelings for?’

She sighed and was always amazed with how well her grandmother knew her. ‘Am I so obvious all the time?’

‘I can see through that tight and thick bubble you try to surround yourself in. Geundae aga, it’s okay to let others in and show your true feelings. He has a girlfriend, you say, but there are plenty of well-suited men in Seoul you can share your feelings with. I will die happy knowing there’s a very good man to take care of you and share your life with you. You’ve been alone too long now. I’m grateful for Semi to be by your side as well. From now on, Shinhye,’ Shinhye smiled knowing her grandmother only calls her by her name when she needs to be lectured. ‘don’t hold back your feelings. Listen to your heart. You deserve every happiness and love life has to offer. Neoui eomma and appa would want you to live that way. In the arms and heart of the love of your life.’

Shinhye suddenly felt her eyes become watery but a tear never escaped. ‘Halmeoni…’

‘Oh aga, no more sad talk now. When will you come to visit?’

Shinhye smiled back her sadness. ‘This weekend.’

♦

Since the awkward dinner with Yonghwa a couple days ago, she had been trying to ignore him. She told him they were just friends but she knew she wasn’t being a friend by avoiding him. But luckily, he had to go to Tokyo for his newest coffee shop project. He had been gone for two days now and she can’t help herself for missing him.

In the two days of his absence, she had hung out with Semi but she always thought about Yonghwa. Of course, he tried contacting her, but she thought to put a little distance between them for her sake. She missed their TV drama binge watch and their shared dinner gatherings. His absence and her grandmother’s words opened the bubble she kept herself in.

She should be spending the happiest times, what 2 and a half weeks she had left, with her best friend. In her mind and heart, she knew he would always be her best friend. That’s what he rightfully felt like to her. She smiled to herself as she sat on her yoga mat after a full and great evening class.

“Should I call him?” She had her index finger over his contact, ready to press the green call icon. “Aish, but he might be asleep or in an important meeting.”

She removed her finger from hovering over his contact. But just as she was putting her phone down on the floor, it rang. Her heart paced rapidly and was amazed at the timing of the call. Only he could make her heart race hard.

‘Yeoboseyo?’ She tried to hide her shaky voice.

‘Look up.’ His masculine command caught her off guard.

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