"Sana-yah.." 

"Hm?" I drowsily mumbled. The constant  on my hair is lulling me to sleep. 

"What do you think about our 3 years of dating ban?"

"Huh?" I forcefully lifted my head up from her lap. My drowiness is long gone now. "What's with the sudden question, Mo?" I asked her in wonder. 

"Ani, i'm just curious about your opinion. That's all." She lied. I knew it. I know her too well.

"I know it's more than that. So you better spill." 

She just shrugged before she speaks again,

"I mean 3 years is not so long time but i think i may or may not liking someone."

I can't stop myself from letting out a loud gasp. 

"You what?!" 

"Geez calm down, Minatozaki Sana. I said i may or may not. I myself still not so sure about that. I just think she's cute and so lovable."

"She?"

"Oh ." Momo cursed lowly under her breath after realizing her mistake. But it's useless since i already heard it loud and clear.

Awkward silence ensued us for a minute or two. I really can't stand it anymore so i decided to break it.

"Momo.." I gently took her hand in mine since she still avoiding my eyes. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" She nodded. 

"Who is it? Do i know her?" I softly asked despite my throbbing heart. It hurts. God it hurts so much. I have fallen into Hirai Momo's charm and adoring her ever since i saw her in Japan when we both auditioned on the same day. Then i saw her again when we signed a contract with JYP Ent in Japan. And now that we debuted in the same group, i thought i couldn't be any happier than that. But i was wrong. Because the more i spent time with her, the more i saw her, the more i become greedier. I become so greedy of Hirai Momo. 

"You know her. But.." She paused and groaned. She looks so frustrated and i start to questioning why. What's so wrong in liking someone? Perhaps because it's a 'she' instead of a 'he'.

I can't stand seeing the frown on her face so i pulled her into a tight hug, trying to giving her comfort that she needs.

"It's okay, Mo. It's okay to liking someone."

"But it's so wrong, Sana-yah."

"Why? Because it's a she instead of a he?"

"That's one of the reason. The biggest problem here is because she's our member." If my heart was throbbing earlier, it's breaking into pieces now.

"O-our member? Who?"

"I don't think i'm ready to tell anyone about this. I'm sorry, Sana-yah." Momo likes one of our member in Twice? Who the hell it could be? Her roommate, Jungyeon? Our japanese maknae that she took care the most, Mina? Who? I don't think i can have a peaceful sleep tonight if i don't get the answer from her. I need to make her spill it out. No matter how, no matter what it takes, i'll make her spill the answer. For the sake of my closure.

"H-honestly, i also like one of our member. Y-you know, in that way." I nervously began.

"EEHHHHH??" 

"Y-yeah. So how about we exchange secret. You tell me yours, and i'll tell you mine." I bargained.

She eyed me suspiciously. As if trying to find out whether i'm lying or not. Well honestly i'm not lying to her. I do like one of my member, which is her.

"Fine. You first then." She said.

"Okay. But please don't tell to anyone, okay? It's just between us." I requested. I mean it's bad enough for me to lying to Momo, i don't want my other members to believe in the lie i made. 

"Okay. You can trust me." She smiles encouragingly.

"It's.." I was hesitant for a moment. I don't know what name should i mention. Mina is the only person who crossed my mind but i think Momo will know right away that i'm lying if i said Mina's name because it's obvious that the three of us, the J-line, look out for each other like sisters, we love each other so much but in platonic way. Except mine for Momo is a little bit over that boundary.

"It's.. Tzuyu."

"Smooth, yeah, real smooth Minatozaki Sana. You once admitted out loud to Momo that Tzuyu is the prettiest girl you've ever seen in 20 years of your life existence." I inwardly praised myself. Now my lie will look somehow more convincing.

"Ah.. i thought you’re just admiring her. Guess it grew into something else deeper huh?" She smiles.

"Yeah yeah whatever. Enough with my story. Now tell me yours. Ppalli."

"It's Dahyun."

*****

"Sana-yah.. Wake up you sleepyhead." I heard that familiar voice and soon followed by a melodious giggle that i won't get tired of if i have to listen to it over and over again everday in my life.

"Uhhnng, 5 more minutes." I groaned and pulled my blanket higher.

"I wish i can give that 5 minutes but sadly we need to leave in 15 minutes. So go brush your teeth and eat your breakfast. I won't let you to starve yourself. Eating is important." She gently patted my head.

Now how can i defy her when she's being so caring and sweet like this?

"Fine." I grumpily mumbled. "Help me up." I childishly whined. I said to myself that i will distancing myself from her to save me from any deeper heartbreak but guess it's just part of my habit or perhaps instinct? to acted like a spoiled kid when she's around. Don't blame me because ever since we came to Korea together 3 years ago, she always acted like an oneesan, an unnie to me when in fact she's just older than me by a month. She made me get too comfortable with her.

She holds my hands using her both hands and grabbed them before she pulled me up.

"There there.. be quick, okay? We'll see you outside, princess." She smiles at me one last time before she turned around and leave my room.

"Momo-yah.. why it must be her? Why it can't be me?"

*****

"Sana-yah.. i think she likes me too." One day Momo said to me with her all smiley face, in fact she's grinning so wide right now. She looks so happy while i tried my best to fight back my tears. I couldn't cry in front of her because she will surely ask me why and i wouldn't able to explain it to her. I'm glad that at least one of us is happy, Momo-yah.

"Ah.. you mean Dahyunie? Good for you then." I forced a smile. I hope my smile look genuine enough so she won't able to detect how insincere i am.

"Yeah, i mean she reciprocated all of my skinship toward her. Even though it was always me who initiated it first. God, that girl is such a cutie." She dreamily sighed.

"I know right." I lazily responded and guess she can tell it from the way i spoke.

"Oh, sorry Sana-yah. It must be boring to hear my story." She mistakenly took my reaction but i'll let her to think like that. "Now let's hear your story then." She playfully nudged me.

"Me? I don't have anything to share."

"Eyy, how about you and Tzuyu? You two looks extremely close nowadays. Even our fans are hardly shipping you two. You must be happy." She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned like a fool. Honestly speaking, i seem can't focus on her words because i found her so extremely distracting. She looks so damn cute right now.

But i know she's waiting for my answer so i gave her what she wants.

"Yeah, you have no idea." I faked another sm