3 years ago

“I… I’ve had enough of it Sana,” Nayeon said, “I’ve had enough of being hurt. It came to the point that sometimes, I blame myself so much I want to die. I’ve had suicidal thoughts so many times, whenever she outright rejects me. I am not Mina, I don’t make her smile like that. I’m not smart like her or can paint like her or can make any boy swoon over me.  I know, Jeongyeon doesn’t love me now… But how can I unlove her?”

Sana sighs, “You can’t unlove someone Nayeon-ah. Once you’ve loved them, you’ll always do which is why maybe Jeongyeon still treats you as someone important. You would always care for them, even if it changed into a different type of love. You can love them less but never unlove them.”

Tears came flooding in nayeon’s eyes as she realized this, as she realized how Sana is right. Jeongyeon doesn’t love her the same. Trying not her voice to crack she asked, “Then h-how? How can I love Jeongyeon less?”

Sana smiled, “by loving someone else more.”

XX---------------------------------------------------XX

A little more time before lunch, There was knock on Sana’s door and to her surprise, It’s Jeongyeon. Lately, they've been so many people visiting her. and it all ain't been good.

“Oh, Yoo Jeongyeon?” Sana smiles, “Why’re you here?”

“can I come in? I just want to ask you something,” Jeongyeon said.

“Alright,” Sana smiles, “Come in.”

Sana’s habit of serving food and coffee to her visitors never fails as she accommodates her long-time friend. Jeongyeon sat on the leather couch in the living room. 

“what is it Jeongyeon?” Sana starts as she sat next to jeongyeon.

“I..” Jeongyeon glanced at Sana, “I just want to ask you where Nayeon is.”

Sana shuts as Chaeyoung flashed into her mind. ‘Did chaeyoung told her?’

Jeongyeon sighs, “I saw Nayeon on Taeyeon’s wedding,”

It was then Sana couldn’t say anything anymore.

“I know she’s here again, “Jeongyeon said, “and I want you to help to reach her once again, to talk to her.”

Sana couldn’t say anything, she just bit her lip.

Jeongyeon puts her head down, “It kinda like a dejavu isn’t it? Sana?”

“remember when Nayeon disappeared 3 years ago I knocked on your door desperately.. looking for her? It felt like that again, nothing had changed.” Jeongyeon said.

Of course, Sana could never forget that. She had never seen almighty Jeongyeon like that before, desperately and pathetically looking for someone. She was wet with rain as she ask sana’s where’s nayeon, calling her name over and over again while crying.

“Nothing changed, even the way I feel,” Jeongyeon says, “so sana please, I know I’ve done wrong to Nayeon whom I promised to take care all my life but I just want another chance.”

Of course, Sana now realizes that she’ll probably break the promise she had with Nayeon.

XX------------------------------------------------------XX

“Hey,”

There was a smile on the person as Nayeon opened the door. It was rather someone, she always expected to come already.

“Oh Momo,” Nayeon smiles back, “What brought you here?”

“My love for you brought me here,” Momo winks.

Nayeon giggled as she slaps momo’s shoulder, “smooth.”

Momo pouted as she looked at Nayeon, “I’m not lying though.”

“Arasso, “Nayeon laughed it off as a joke, momo’s flirty nature had been something she had been hearing for years now.

“Can I come in?” Momo asked, and nayeon nodded.

She’s now staying on her old house, on her aunt’s house within Sana and Tzuyu’s neighbourhood. Nayeon nodded as she left her guest come in.

“here, some snacks.” Nayeon said and served momo.

“So what do you need?”

“Aigoo, “Momo pouted, “you make me sound like someone lending money,”

Nayeon chuckles, “You look more like a loan shark than someone who lends money though,”

“so how’s your stay in Korea?” The woman asked Nayeon, “been good?”

“yup.” Nayeon says, “anyway, want to go with a trip with me? We can relax and tour before I leave korea again,”

Without Nayeon noticing Momo turned beet red, “A trip? You’re asking me on a trip--- with just the two of us? Don’t you know what I might do to you?”

Momo can’t help ask why’s this girl so oblivious. She doesn’t know if she’s supposed to be so happy that Nayeon asked her, it’s a contradictory bittersweet feeling.

“what might do? What do you mean? Are you gonna salvage me or something,” Nayeon asked.

“sometimes, I just want to shut you up,” Momo sighs, “but you’re asking on a date trip? So fine I’ll go!”

Nayeon chuckles, “don’t get too ahead, it’s a friendly date”

It was then Momo is finally on her limit, she was pissed off—like a large throbbing vein appeared on her forehead.

“Oh I’ll show you how I can be so friendly!” Momo felt so ticked off. She couldn’t held her self back anyway as she looked how beautiful the woman is. Without a second, she planted a gentle sweet kiss on Nayeon’s lips.

“Listen Nayeon,” Momo starts as she looked at Nayeon.

Then there was something in momo’s eyes that sparked. It was the look Nayeon often sees every now and then.

“yes?”

“I know all this time, we’ve been friends right?” Momo asked.

Nayeon smiles, “Of course.”

“But..” Momo held Nayeon’s hand, “But Nayeon, I want to confess. There’s something I’ve been hiding all this time.”

Momo decided to confess now, after all these years, maybe it's the fact that she's scared Nayeon will be taken away soon or maybe the fact that she love Nayeon so much she can't help it anymore.

“What?” Nayeon laughed, “Is it the fact that you’re transgender?”

“Aish! Jinja, I’m not!” Momo pouted, “Don’t laugh or else---“

“Or else what?” Nayeon couldn’t help but laugh.

But her laughter stopped when Momo came towards her face, and bit Nayeon’s lower lips.  It was that moment when Nayeon felt her lower lip burning, all she can do it touched it gently as her eyes still wide from shock. Her heart is beating so fast she couldn’t think.

“I told you stop laughing, “Momo says.

“Momo!” nayeon glares as she starts to stand up and walk away but Momo grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

“you’re always messing with me,” Nayeon sighs.

Momo then looked at Nayeon, straight to her eyes—making Nayeon a bit more nervous than ever, “Nayeon, I may be like this, I may not be always serious or I may not be successful as any person out there, but I love you.”

Nayeon couldn’t blink, she felt as if her breathing had stopped, “w-what?”

Momo sighs, “I love you! I love you.. goddamn, I in love you I can't help it! and I’ll repeat it until you can hear it, just take me seriously just this time.”

Nayeon couldn’t talk. She doesn’t expect this—because in this 3 years they’ve been friends, she never once thought that Momo love her, that way and that much. 

Momo then pressed her lips on the back of Nayeon’s hand with a soft sigh.

She looked at Nayeon seriously, “I love you.”

“You don’t have to answer me now,”Momo said, “Please consider it Nayeon-ah.”

Then Momo left leaving Nayeon still with her beating hard in amidst of all the confusion. 

XX---------------------------------------------------------XX

“Hello Nayeon?” Sana called Nayeon, “I’m going to set up a small get away for us friends, you want to come?”

“oh sure, since I’m in korea and all”

“it’s on Jeju,” Sana said, “still wanna come?”

“of course.”

“and  a lot is coming”

“it’s fine, the more the merrier, right?”

“you’ll be comfortable?”

“yes of course.”

When Nayeon was informed that they’re going to jeju, no one told them that Yoo Jeongyeon is going to be there.  She blinked twice as she saw Jeongyeon standing on the airport, in front of her—walking towards her holding her bags.

“J-jeongyeon?” Nayeon’s eyes are widened. And yes, she felt scared so much her knees feel week, “y-you’re coming too?”

“Yes,” Jeongyeon said casually, “Sana  invited me”

Nayeon could only nod but She’s mentally cursing Sana already, calling her a traitor.

“I wonder why they’re so late?” Jeongyeon said, “Did they texted you?”

Why is she talking casually to me? Nayeon thought.

She felt awkward yet Jeongyeon looks so comfortable.

“let’s sit first?” Jeongyeon smiled.

Nayeon nodded and they sat together.

“I saw you on Taeyeon’s wedding, “Jeongyeon started, “I mean taeyeon’s cancelled wedding.”

“y-you did?” Nayeon’s eyes widened, “I didn’t see you there.”

“yeah, you looked pretty, “Jeongyeon smiled, “you’re with momo.”

Nayeon nodded, “Yeah, we’re both invited.”

“Oh.”

Then there’s the awkward silence once again.

“You look great,” jeongyeon spurt out, “Beautiful I mean,”

As Jeongyeon said that, Nayeon doesn’t know how to react. She doesn’t know what to say.

“thank you,” she managed to say.

“you changed.” Jeongyeon commented.

“you used to doesn’t take praises well, you deny them. But now, you look more confident and bright.”

Maybe it was the fact that she had always had low self-confidence before—because her father used to tell her that she isn’t pretty or how she isn’t beautiful, but since 3 years had happened. A lot had changed, there are a lot of people who had helped her to get over this pain that had been pushing her down for a long time.

Nayeon smiled, “That means a lot.”

“Nayeon,” Jeongyeon said and looked at her, “I… “

“Nayeon-ah!” It was then Jeongyeon was cut off, when a familiar person appeared, smiling ear to ear as she ran towards Nayeon and put her hands on her shoulders.

“oh hi, Jeongyeon” momo smiles, but of course Jeongyeon knows that this person is challenging her.

“hey Momo, “Jeongyeon gladly faked a smile as well.

Nayeon looked down as she bit her lip and thought,  ‘Jeongyeon will come, Momo will come too. Great.’

XX--------------------------------------------------XX

                  It’s lunchtime when everyone arrived at Jeju island and finally settled on one of Kim family’s hotel. Apparently, Taeyeon’s mother couldn’t do anything at all so she finally accepted it. Taeyeon’s father liked Jessica for her. So for Taeyeon’s celebration, she planned the trip and their stay on the hotel is free.

Son Chaeyoung starts fixing her things on the hotel room.  She felt excited since it’s her first time on Jeju, and being with her good friends makes her happiest.

She was unpacking her luggage when she suddenly felt warm hands embracing on her waist, “Chaeyoungie~”

Chaeyoung giggled as she held the woman’s hands, “yes, Minari?”

“Just want to tell you how much I love you, “Mina giggled as she rest her chin on chaeyoung’s shoulder, of course at times like this, chaeyoung could only shut her eyes tightly—sometimes, she’s afraid she’ll cry because of too much happiness.

“I love you too, “ Chaeyoung smiles as she looked at Mina and gently caresses the older’s hair.

Mina smiles again too, slightly taking chaeyoung’s breath with that, “I’m glad we finally went to a trip this year,”

“I am too, since lately we’ve been too busy,” Chaeyoung sighs, “I’m sorry.”

“No it’s alright,” Mina says, “I understand, as long as we’re together.”

Chaeyoung hugged the older as she planted a soft kiss on her lips, “I’m glad to have you, I