The whole thing was actually Sana’s fault.

Momo was tentative, gentle and caring. She always there beside her through good and bad times. It always ended up with Sana’s smilling over something that Momo would do in attempt to make her crying fried cheer up. And if Sana felt sad, her best friend was always there to make her laugh.

Sana felt it was impossible to fall for her best friend every time.

It was late afternoon when they were walking home. Momo suddenly dragged her toward that old sycamore tree- their secret hideout.  Momo made Sana climb up, the eldest of the two immediately positioning herself beside her. The sat down in silence, swinging their legs back and forth, as the sunset took place. The gentle breeze caressing their face. Sana felt Momo watched her in great intensed as she tucks a strand of hair behind her. Sana’s blushed and pretended to play with her phone. Momo chuckled and just stared ahead at the sunset view. She felt Momo's pinky finger grazed her pinky's softly. Her heartbeat quicken. 

“No matter how hard you deny that you don’t care, it always shows that you are.” Momo whispers

Startled, Sana slowly looks at her friend. “W-What are you talking about?”

“Sana-tan.” Momo said and there was something about her tone that got Sana’s lips to quiver. “You miss home, don’t you?”

And for the first time in her life, Sana cried. Loneliness and all other negative emotions were all out.

Yes she missed home. She’s lived most of her life alone, moving out of parent’s home at a young age and seeking independence wherever she could find it to chase her dream. Solitude had been a fine state to live in for many years but once in awhile she broke down because loneliness engulfed her being but that is until she met Momo.

Sana knew it wasn’t okay but with Momo beside her, maybe she can do it.

She can survive this.

When the crying stopped and all that’s left was Sana’s soft sniffles, Momo reaches over to ruffle her hair and smiled. She freaking smiled and said. “Sana-tan, you’re not alone because I will always be there for you. Remember that, okay?”

That was the start of everything.

Ever since then, Sana has been harboring these feelings for Momo. There were a few times were she’s tempted on telling the latter but ended up cowering back because one: she might not feel the same; she doesn’t even know if she’s swinging that way and two: she doesn’t want to risk their friendship. Sana never consider herself as a hopeless romantic, flirty maybe, but not a romantic. But Momo brought out new feelings and longing within her. She gained many things from partnership with Momo.

Not only she have someone who understand the difficulties of trainee life but she also had found someone could understand her. Moved in together out of convenience. She loved being able to see that smile when she walked into their kitchen every morning. Watching her dances passionately as she tried to study hangul.  

It wasn’t easy to hide.

Whenever Momo hugs her she would blush. Whenever Momo would swing an arm around her shoulder, she would blush. Whenever she tousles her hair,she would blush. And the list goes on…

Before she knew it, she’s in love with her. And boy, she got it hard.

Sana’s life changed the most when she hit puberty.

Boys swooned and stared at her blossom and feminine appearances. Her fats were gone and her usual pudgy appearance was replaced with tall, curves and y-cuti girl, whose rounded pupil eye would twitch whenever she laughs. She would cringe upon knowing that but the boys well majority finds it cute, anyway.

But Momo… how can she describe her.

Though shorter than her, Momo suddenly looked a hundred – no, a thousand times attractive. Not only the girls, but also guys were caught in her best friend’s beauty. The only difference on both genders is that boys doesn’t mind when Sana with her while girls glare at her since she the best friend, ergo, the center of her attention, meaning, everyone’s rival in this y girl.

However their friendship grew apart and Sana can’t put her heart what when wrong. Momo wasn’t really around her anymore. They constantly talks but when Sana wanted to hang out with Momo, the latter always excused herself. She thought that maybe Momo grew tired of her and decided she should just bottled it up rather than confront the latter. She thought maybe this was good opportunity for her to realise maybe she should stop falling in love with the latter.

‘ at least we still talks’ Sana reasoned as she watched her best friend drifted back to her room.  

On her three year as trainee in Korea, Sana met someone in the bathroom.

Her name is Mina. She’s that transfer student from Japan that she shared a few classes in JYPE with. And because everyone doesn’t know how to interact with a foreign exchange student probably because of the language barrier but since she also from Japan, Sana pushed herself to befriend her.

It turns out, Mina is amazing. The best friend every girl could as for. They share the same interests, hobbies and even the same band. Their conversations would go on and on until Sana doesn’t feel that lonely anymore even when Momo wasn’t there. She swear if it wasn’t for Momo she could fall in love with Mina. Mina is so cool.

But Sana still misses her and that alone made her heart ache.

On a Friday, Momo decided to hang out her during lunch. Sana, of course, feels happy and smiled all the time. She swore she could feel herself glowing. It was back from the start. Whenever Momo would giggle, she blushes. Whenever she would steal a fry from her play, she pretends to be angry but then chuckles in the end.

It feels amazing.

Mina, came to their table, laughing as she told Sana that she heard that Jihyo another JYPE trainee got herself a nickname-Thomas.

“I swear when I heard that I can see the resemblance! This is too cute~!” Mina chuckled. Sana threw her head back and laughed, but it soon stopped when she realized that she was the only one laughing. Plus, something’s up with Momo. She seems to be staring intently at Mina, her eyes sparkling in delight at the latter. Mina, on the other hand, looked the same.

It clicked.

It freaking clicked.

Sana feel jealousy first time in her life.

hi paah