The Final Boss :: BTS
Twenty-One :: A JYP Survival Show
1
"Do it! Just do it for god's sake"
There is no word in any language to describe exactly how Doyeon feels when he hears Gosaeng's name called.
It's a mixture of disbelief, denial, terror, and emptiness.
It feels like the end of the world.
Honestly he isn't sure what happens next. His vision is blurry and his mind is racing. He can hear people talking and maybe he's replying but it's all shaky and indistinct around the pounding in his ears.
This can't be happening. This is his worst nightmare times ten. This was the one thing he needed, the one thing he trusted in this miserable show and it was gone and how the hell is any of this even vaguely fair-
Gosaeng's hand on his shoulder drags him down from the edge of hysteria and he realizes that the blurriness in his vision are tears.
Blinking hard he falls quiet, clinging to his friend's hand as the rest of the eliminations are made and the rescued contestants are announced. He keeps clinging desperately even when they have to leave, as if letting go would cause Gosaeng to vanish entirely.
But then he's gone, and Doyeon is alone in the whirlpool of emotions that he's been trapped in since the third episode. And now there's no Gosaeng to help keep him afloat in the mess that his life has become.
He sags against Hongsol, who's rubbing his back awkwardly in an attempt to be comforting. Maybe in another situation Doyeon would find it endearing, but right now it just makes him that much more aware of how utterly exhausted and miserable he is.
Hongsol eventually gives up and lets him wallow, and something in Doyeon is viciously glad to give someone else the feelings of failure that are weighing heavily on his shoulders.
But then he feels bad because it's Hongsol and he's a frigging angel sent to earth. He should apologize.
But then he hears his stagename called and realizes that the CEO has still been talking while his world has been crashing down around him, and now Danny is staring at him and says something that Doyeon can't quite make out.
And then he stops caring again because caring about anything is too much work right now. He can barely focus on keeping upright around the swirling in his head.
And then Danny comes into his line of sight, a cautious look of worry on his face, and Doyeon feels a bit more grounded. Just a bit.
"Hey, you alright? I'm not thrilled with all this crap right at the end either." Danny looks like he has no idea what he's doing, and Doyeon finds a moment to think that it's cute before he's back in the crumbling mess. Danny shifts slightly when he doesn't respond and continues. "I think... ugh I can't say I know how you feel since that's cliché and I don't really know if the stuff with Seongjun is the same but..." he trails off awkwardly, and Doyeon finally pulls himself up out of his mental chaos to formulate a response.
"Don't worry about me hyung, you have your own stuff to do. I'll... I'll figure something out."
Danny looks hesitant, but he nods and claps him on the shoulder briefly before retreating quickly.
A few months ago that sort of interaction would have made Doyeon's day. But now it feels hollow. It took all this to get that one friendship. It wasn't worth it.
But it's still a spark of good in the otherwise dark misery that blankets him, and he clings to it as he slowly makes his way out of the practice room.
He wanders aimlessly, vaguely making out the sound of the others practicing but unable to bring himself to enter his own sound booth to work.
It would feel too much like he was giving up. Or more accurately too much like he was letting the show win.
From almost the start this show has been a living nightmare. He didn't join JYP to be thrown violently through an emotional wringer five months after he began, and yet here he is.
And the one thing keeping him grounded through it all was Gosaeng.
They've known each other for four montsh total, but Doyeon can barely recall what life was like without his best friend. No doubt he'd have gone insane and fallen apart long ago if it wasn't for Gosaeng's presence.
And now he's gone. So what is he supposed to do now?
The pounding in his head is louder than ever, and when he glances up he realizes he's reached the dorms. He hadn't been walking anywhere in particular, but somehow arriving here doesn't surprise him.
He sits at the kitchen table and observes the room around him. He remembers sitting here with the group, joking around with Gosaeng until Xaris grumbled at them that is was too early for shenanigans. And then they'd giggle over the word "shenanigans" until they had to start the day.
He remembers playing Smash Bros all night just a week ago, mocking Byunjae and Na Sanghyun whenever Hongsol wasn't in earshot to guilt them into being nice to each other.
He remembers talking to Gosaeng after his chat with Danny, and how the other quietly listened to his confusion over the matter. He hadn't had any real suggestions but just him listening had been more than enough.
Then he thinks about the group. And he realizes that debuting doesn't really matter to him. Not if it means walking away from Gosaeng.
And all at once the blurriness is gone and he begins sobbing openly, burying his head into his hands and taking deep, lung-wracking breaths that have been pent up for weeks.
It feels good to finally let go. So he lets himself cry for what feels like it must be hours, but upon checking the clock was closer to thirty minutes. As he calms down, his mind clears and he realizes exactly what he's going to do.
Wiping his eyes and with new determination, he walks towards the rooms to start packing.
2
"Are you offering to forgo your immunity to keep him on the show?"
He knows what the right answer is. The right answer is yes. Because he doesn't deserve to be here over someone who didn't make bottom five.
The right answer is to be the bigger person, to be a martyr. The right answer is what a good person would give.
But Do Sanghyun isn't a good person. He knows that for sure now. So he remains silent.
He won't win. Ant might have won, but he won't. So why didn't he say anything? Is he so selfish that he'd rather make a desperate attempt than give someone else a fair shot?
Is he just bitter that he's never going to debut and is taking it out on someone else?
He can't even tell himself he's not. Because he honestly isn't sure. Maybe he did stay silent because he wanted someone else to feel his suffering. Wanted someone else's dreams ruined along with his own.
Years of practice, of dedication, of crying out of sheer exhaustion, all for nothing. All to find that no matter how talented he is, or how hard he's worked, all anyone cares about is a pretty face that says funny things.
He can't say funny things. He just wants to sing. How come he's not allowed to do that?
The world has gone numb around him. It must have to compensate for the intense, guilty pain that's bubbling just behind his eyes.
He has hundreds of songs that's he's perfected. Not just in training, but in the years before that, leading up to his long prepared for audition. But none of them are good enough. Each time he thinks he's made a decision, he changes his mind again.
Because what song is good enough to get someone in the bottom five, someone who's a horrible person who couldn't do the right thing when it counted, to somehow win out against Hongsol.
Of all the people to be paired off with. It fits though. If Sanghyun is a bad person, then Hongsol is a perfect foil. A complete sweetheart who only wants the best for everyone.
Never mind his years of training that never resulted in a debut. Never mind the fact that he wasn't even supposed to be on the show. People don't care about talent, or ability to survive in the idol world. If Hongsol wasn't doing so well in the rankings he'd be a mess. Sanghyun has seen it in the past.
But he's sweet and innocent and the viewers love him. Nothing else matters. Only the editing.
He almost throws his sheet music down in his frustration at it all but the camera staring at the back of his head, serving only to make his headache worse, stops him.
Maybe he doesn't have a shot in hell, but at the very least he's going to be proud in defeat.
If he's a bad person, so be it. He won't feel guilty at all then.
He won't.
3
"Does TJ even rap?"
Danny knows as soon as he hears his pairing for the final face off that there's a lot more to this than just assigning roles.
Though he thinks the two of them have been doing a good job of keeping their little rivalry quiet, he can't account for anything the others might have said, or how the editing may have skewed certain situations. It's frustrating that they aren't allowed to watch the show unless they've been eliminated already as they really have no idea how they're coming across to viewers.
But it's clear to him that this is some grand conclusion to his and Doyeon's friction, despite them having actually been working things out privately for a few weeks now. They aren't friends, but they aren't enemies, and slowly their two groups have been mingling more.
There's still certainly a divide, but Danny is happy knowing that they're at least trying to close it.
Because of the tentative agreement they've made it feels odd for them to be matched up like this now, but Danny is sure that the CEO doesn't know or doesn't care about the mending bridges. Something like this could put serious dents in the, admitedly minimal, progress they've managed to make so far, and Danny doesn't want that.
But at the same time TJ is more popular than he is. There's no denying that - ever since his near elimination he's ranked in the top five every voting round. Not to mention the fact Danny was in the bottom five in the past round.
Danny leans back in his chair, staring at the ceiling of the practice room he'd retired too after the pairings were announced.
He would have liked to be able to talk with Doyeon about the situation but the other was really in no state to think rationally at the moment. Danny didn't blame him, not at all, but it did make figuring out what the heck to do about their situation a bit harder.
He sighs loudly, more to differentiate between reality and his own thoughts than anything, and sits up again. He'll need to think of something eventually or he won't have a piece to perform at all. And so he begins rifling through the sheet music he'd grabbed from the dorms when they'd left that morning. You can never be too careful.
It's a mix of his own compositions and songs that he likes performing. He quickly rules out the hardest rap songs - he knows his own limits after all - and then sorts through the remaining pile.
This is where it gets complicated. He wants to show his full potential - it isn't something that's been shown yet. He's always in the back or has the shortest rap part available, and he's pretty sure there will be people watching the show who have no idea that he's even a rapper.
But... Doyeon isn't one. Danny knows that. Doyeon struggles to sing properly, Danny doubts he's even had time to think about the nuances of rapping techniques. So it wouldn't be fair to go in at one hundred percent either.
Eventually he compromises. Something that still lets him rap but is softer than he would normally do. It's only fair.
The CEO may want a brutal final battle, but Danny know that they're better than that. They'll end this as equals.
4
"Someone walks into the room and Na Sanghyun lights up."
It's been three hours and Sanghyun is still in panic mode.
He's not a dancer, not by a long shot. He figured he'd be paired up with TJ and they could do something together to make a fun and memorable final performance. But now he's up against someone who's practically main dancer material.
And he can barely follow choreography correctly.
He's doomed. Completely and absolutely doomed.
So he does the only thing he can think of - he goes to his friend.
Danny is working when he knocks on the practice room door, but he glances up and waves him in with a smile.
"Hey. Need anything?"
Sanghyun hesitates. Does he need anything? Ideally he needs to magically become an amazing dancer by tomorrow but he's pretty sure Danny isn't a genie. So why is he here?
Danny tilts his head. "Take a seat if you need. I get you must be pretty overwhelmed right now." He smiles again, and Sanghyun remembers why he came.
Because before all this, before the show tore them apart and stabbed at the softest parts of them, Danny had always been the leader of their little friend group. The one they could go to when they were tired or stressed or on the verge of giving up. He was a warm presence that Sanghyun only now realizes he's sorely missed these past few weeks.
So he sits and quietly listens to Danny working on what Sanghyun assumes is his own rap piece for the showdowns. The scratching of the pencil is occasionally interrupted by a few hummed notes, but otherwise the room is quiet.
After about ten minutes Sanghyun is starting to doze off when the scratching stops completely.
"Hey, I might be able to help you out. If you wanted."
Sanghyun looks up. "How? No offense hyung bu your dancing is barely better than mine."
Danny laughs. "I know, but I've got a friend who's offered to help me whenever I need for the show. I think she might be useful in this situation."
Sanghyun tilts his head slightly. She? He mentally tries to work out who Danny could be talking about as he responds. "Uh, sure. Any help would be appreciated honestly, Seongjun outclasses me by a lot."
Honestly he's not sure any kind of help will really do anything to somehow get him the win over the other trainee, but it's no good to give up without at least attempting a fair fight.
"Alright, I'll send her a message. Hopefully she isn't busy right now."
Sanghyun waits as Danny sends the text and then goes back to his own work. After a few minutes he decides to do some warm up stretches. he's passed the initial stages of panic now and he realizes that he probably should get to work.
About thirty minutes pass and he's flipping through his phone to find the best song to use when someone knocks on the practice room door before pushing it open.
Sanghyun immediately perks up when he sees exactly who Danny's "friend" is. If anyone can even the playing field, it's probably Momo.
Sanghyun definitely owes Danny big.
5
"For our grand finale we have a familiar pair vying for the main vocal position of the group"
He can't lose. Everything is riding on this one performance and he can't lose.
Logically of course, he could. He's lost before and this could easily be an exact repeat of that previous failure. But unlike last time there won't be another chance to redeem himself.
So Haesol gets straight to work. He's been practicing a few songs during his break from the show and it's just a matter of deciding which will best serve to showcase his vocal abilities.
The hardest part is his opponent. If he was against someone with lighter vocals it would be a cinch to select a moody ballad and blow them out of the water, but he and Jude have very similar styles of singing. Which means that overall popularity will be a much heavier factor than it might have been against anyone else.
And so maybe he is, just a little bit, panicking.
Jude has been either first or second place since the second round of rankings, while Haesol has been stuck training behind the scenes, desperately hoping to claw his way back into the competition through the rescue rounds.
And sure, he's succeeded, but against Doc and Byunjae. With no offense intended towards either he really doesn't think that's anything to write home about.
So how much of a chance does he really stand against Jude? None. None at all.
But he can't lose. And so he buckles down with one of his English songs - bilingualism should get him some popularity points - and pracitices like his life depends on it.
He can hear the others passing outside the room, getting food or rest, but he remains fully focused. This is his final chance and he can't waste it.
So he spends all twelve hours working, keeping his vocal chords warmed up and drilling the song until he can hear it echoing in his brain over and over.
Finally someone knocks on his door, and he realizes that time is up.
Jude peers into the room. "Hey, we're heading to the theatre."
Well that was the last person he wanted to see. But Haesol can be professional when it's called for, so he simply nods and slings his guitar across his back.
The two walk silently down the otherwise empty halls, awkward tensions looming between them. Finally Jude speaks.
"Good luck today."
"Yeah." The pause is a bit longer than it should be. "You too."
Jude hesitates and then looks at him directly. He opens his mouth to say something, hesitates, and then closes it, turning back towards the hallway.
Haesol blinks. Well that was odd. In the time he's known Jude the latter has always been annoyingly good at knowing exactly what to say in any situation no matter how strange or uncomfortable. But apparently even he isn't sure how to approach this.
It actually makes Haesol feel a bit better. If Jude is nervous about facing him, then maybe he has a shot after all.
And whatever happens, it will all be over soon. That at least is a bit of good news.
A thus I finally put down my pen and release this story as truly complete. Hope you guys enjoyed the BTS and that you'll check out my new apply Princess!
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