BIRTHNAME Kim Youju
BIRTHDATE November 20, 2000
BIRTHPLACE busan, south korea
HOMETOWN busan, south korea
ETHNICITY korean
LANGUAGES
▪ korean - native
▪ english - very basic, enough to sing lyrics without an absolutely atrocious accent, but nothing to be proud of.
FACE CLAIM Olivia Hye of Loona
BACKUP FACE CLAIM Eunbean of CLC, Chaeyoung of Fromis_9
HEIGHT 172cm
WEIGHT 55 kg
APPEARANCE
Youju is a tower of grins and winks and laughter. She towers over you with her long legs, and it would've been intimidating if it weren't the gummy smile and the wrinkled nose. She has a nonconventional beauty to her - enough to make people point out how pretty she is, but not enough to count as an actual visual.

She likes showing off her assets, mainly her toned stomach and slender legs. Crop tops, shorts, and tight pants are very prominent in her wardrobe (and in the clothes the stylists usually give her), a lot more than dresses and skirts that just don't look quite as good on her much to Youju's dismay. She is also a huge fan of earrings and rings, and has a huge collection of various items she bought over the years on display in her dorm. She wishes she was better at makeup, but she's never quite managed to master that elusive art, so she relies on the stylists and the other members to help her whenever she wants to do something that's harder than the basic eyebrows+mascara+lip tint combo.

TRAITS hesitant, team player, guilt-ridden, friendly, playful, insecure, shy

ELABORATION

Kim Youju doesn't know many things.

She doesn't really know herself, to begin with. Hesitant in her nature, with a tendency to be confused pretty much about anything, Youju suffers the oh-so-lovely #Confused state of mind regarding many a thing in her life. Making decisions, from the mundane "what shall I order at the restaurant", all the way to "what the do I want to do with my life!?", is a hard task for her, as she's constantly second-guessing herself and wonder if her decisions are the right decisions. In her mind, it's hard for her to understand that most decisions can be reversed, that if she doesn't know what she wants to do in her life, it's okay. She can try something, and then try something else. Going down one path doesn't mean the other paths are blocked forever. Being a trainee since she was 9 has made her feel like she has dedicated her entire life into the cause of becoming an idol, but she doesn't know if that's what she wants to do - but she has trained for 9 years, and giving up now would be like giving up her life's work, right? Out there, the outside, "real" world, that's the Great Unknown, and if Youju is confused about the things she knows, that is a goddamn mystery.

She's always been fascinated with the other side, the "normal" side that she has missed by being a trainee and entangling herself with the entertainment industry. She's never cared much for the fame part of it anyway, not as much as she cared for the glamour and aesthetics of performing in itself. But fame and preparations for it was the very thing that has ensured she couldn't see that other side she's always wondered about, and it has made it all the more foreign, exciting, and absolutely terrifying. She doesn't know what she wants to do, but what is there out there other than being an idol? Youju doesn't have the slightest idea, and it's an evil that's calling out to her, yet an evil she can't even begin to comprehend how to deal with.

On the contrary, Pledis is an evil she does know, one of the few things she does. And an evil she knows is an evil she can deal with. The outside world? That is an evil entire unknown, and Youju is much too cowardly for that. Being afraid, being hesitant, it drives Youju through her life like a car without brakes, and she the driver just can't do anything to make it stop. Fear is what mainly drove her to remain with Pledis (fear and Saeyool and fear), which is how that trait of hers goes hand in hand with how guilty she feels about... everything. She feels so ing guilty for not sticking to the rest of Pristin, and it doesn't matter that it's not like they were going to stay together after leaving Pledis, and it doesn't matter that Kyulkyung and Saeyool and Yehana and Seungyeon stayed. It doesn't help the guilt Youju feels towards the others, the feeling that they should've stuck together, one group or nothing, and the signature on the papers of her contract felt like a stab in her gut. But Pledis is an evil she knows, and the other companies are evils she doesn't. And out there, it's an evil entirely foreign.

she's never had a desire to outshine any of her teammates or get more spotlight than them. She's very much a team player, she knows how to act in a dynamic like that, training with people her entire life - and on the other hand, doing things alone is a weird concept. She's relied on others to be there with and for her all of her life, so I imagine doing something solo would not go smoothly, not just in idol-related aspects but in general. She's not a leader in any way, but she follows well and always puts the team above herself.

she's not the type of shy that's scared to meet new people - she does feel awkward and embarrassing but usually brushes it off with a laugh and "welp this is awkward" which tends to break the ice. But she's shy when it comes to embarrassing herself and will get red and chicken out of things if she thinks she'll be horrible at it (think Miyeon of g-idle). It can make for a hilarious watch, because she's all squeals and face palms and groans as she forces herself through something - because sure, she's shy, but it doesn't mean she's not going to try! She also gets very shy and embarrassed when receiving feedback, especially if it's good feedback - she's very insecure and doesn't really think of herself as anyone special and skilled, so receiving compliments always gets her shy and emotional.

Kim Youju's story starts as so many before her - a passion for performing and a fascination with the idol industry that just looks so awesome on tv. There isn't a day when seven-year-old Youju isn't jumping around the house, singing and dancing awkwardly to Wonder Girl's Irony, Girls Generation's Into the New World, and Big Bang's Haru Haru.  Her parents squeal with joy at how cute she is, and when Youju proclaims that what she wants to do in life is be an idol at the age of nine, they appease her and take her to audition for a few companies just for the heck of it. As they expect, they don't hear back from SM, JYP, and YG, but they do get a call from Pledis - they want Youju as a trainee. Her parents say no at first - moving from Busan to Seoul for a nine year old's obsession with being a singer is too much, but two months later her Youju's mother gets an opportunity for a job promotion that would require her to move to Seoul, and so they do. And nine-year-old Kim Youju becomes a trainee at Pledis Entertainment.

What follows is six long years of school and training and growing up from child to teen. School has always been a second priority to training, and her parents don't mind - they say it's her decision to make and if that's the path she's chosen then it's okay for her to commit fully to the task. She doesn't have a lot of friends at school - maybe one, and even then she wouldn't consider that true friendship - but that doesn't matter, because she has Lee Choyeon. They're thick as thieves, and it seems as if destiny has brought them together - auditioned around the same time, born in the same year, have the same interests and the same humor and this chemistry that makes them obvious friends around the company. Siyeon is labeled "Pledis' Princess" and is sent to all the activities, but it doesn't matter much - Youju gets her one or two child acting experiences, and other than that she doesn't need them: she has Choyeon and she has her training. She's going to be an idol.

And then she's preparing to be an idol. There are talks of forming a project group, and then eight of them are being prepared to be sent on a new and promising show by Mnet called Produce 101. This is it, Youju feels it in her gut, the final push before the finish line. But she's not the perfect idol she's always wanted to be - she's not as good as Saeyool or Eunwoo, not as beautiful as Kyulkyung. She needs to train harder, needs to give it her all if she wants to do this right. The school years is coming up, and Youju feels like it would just be a huge waste of time... So she doesn't go. Choyeon has dropped out of high school too, plenty other idols do too. Youju doesn't care, she's never focused on school anyway because idols don't need school. There's a pang in her heart when it's 9 o'clock and she's in the training studio and not in class for the first time, but training takes her mind off of it and next thing she knows she's on produce 101, and then she's not on Produce 101, and then she's debuting.

Without Choyeon.

It hurts. Youju doesn't know what to do.

There's nothing to do, really, but it doesn't mean she doesn't cry with Choyeon and scream about how unfair it is and then cry some more. But in the end, the contract is signed and Kim Youju is Pristin's Youju now, while Lee Choyeon is still just Lee Choyeon.

There are music shows and promotions and various idol activities now, and Youju and Choyeon just can't hang out like they used to. Instead, Youju spends more and more time with Saeyool, and if before they were pretty good friends, now they're inseparable. Youju feels guilty for Choyeon, but Choyeon doesn't get what she's going through now and Youju feels guilty for telling her about all the idol things. And Saeyool... Saeyool is there, and she understands everything perfectly. She encourages Youju and tells her that she's damn good, much better than other idols and she's totally worth it. Saeyool is fearless and awesome and she has this way about her that makes Youju want to follow her to a battle. They talk more and more, and Youju and Choyeon less and less... Youju never stops feeling guilty about it, but it doesn't change what's happened. At this point, it's Saeyool who's her best friend and her relationship with Choyeon is just not the same anymore.

And Pristin... oh Pristin. They win rookie of the year, and it's wonderful. Youju has never felt so happy in her entire life - she's achieved something so amazing, all of her hard work has finally paid off. All of those fears of not being good enough and wasting her time on this, gone, in a second. People like them, they like their debut song. They get promotions and variety appearances and even some brand deals! Then they get a comeback, and it's also great! Youju is tired all the time, and she still doesn't feel completely at east on stage the way Saeyool does, but it's fun and flattering and it finally feels like maybe the light at the end of the tunnel really was the exist. Pristin is doing well!

Only Pristin isn't doing well, if Pledis is to be believed. Youju doesn't know what happened, and what Pledis' criteria for "well" is, but We Like is their last comeback and then one by one all tv appearances, all cfs, everything is gone. They won rookie of the year and had millions of views for their music video, and yet in a moment's notice they're on hiatus and Youju doesn't know why. The light at the end of the tunnel was really just another train speeding towards her with nowhere to escape.

It makes Youju wonder. After she grew up, she's never been 100% sure about being an idol, but it has always seemed like the best outcome considering her circumstances and how much time and effort she's put into it. But now the outcome isn't sure at all, and once again Youju doesn't know what to do.

▪ has had the biggest crush on Seventeen's Dino since she was like 15.

▪ loves eating. During the "hiatus" it was like pandora's box, and Youju enjoyed maybe for the first time in her life the freedom of eating the things she wanted. It resulted in 4-5 kg worth of extra weight, which after learning she's going to be on Planet Idol, she's trying hard to erase. Back to starving, yay!

▪ has always been fascinated by many different topics, from history to music to art to science. She doesn't know as much as she would've liked about them, but she adores learning about everything and anything, and has major respect for people who do know.

▪ has a dog (well, her family has a dog), an 8-year-old mutt named Bing.

▪ used to be really into sports, but has gotten lazy during the hiatus. Wants to pick it up again.
▪ more to be added!

▪ LEE CHOYEON/ +
ten-year-old Youju thought that Choyeon and she would be forever. So did sixteen-year-old Youju. But then Pristin has ripped Choyeon out of Youju's grasp, and there was nothing she could do about it. They always thought they'd debut together, and when Youju became a part of Pristin and Choyeon didn't, it was yet another thing to feel guilty about. She misses her, naturally, but she feels like they can never go back to the way it used to be -

▪ SHIN SAEYOOL / +
- And in part it's because of Saeyool. She is Youju's best friend, there's no denying that. She's been there for her through thick and thin, and Youju adores her to pieces. She feels terribly bad for feeling guilty about staying with Saeyool, since Saeyool seems to have no problem with that, which makes Youju feel even worse about having a problem to begin with. She's always looked up to Saeyool, confident, talented Saeyool who took everything by storm and never wavered in front of anything. She went right back to training with her head held high and her eyes set on the next target. And what did Youju do? Have another existential crisis and go back to school? She's always wished she could be more like Saeyool, and it's more evident now than ever.

▪ ZHUANG JIAHUI/ +
Youju dropped out of high school, so she spent the later part of the hiatus going back to school and catching up on the year she's missed instead of training, and so she didn't get to meet the new trainees until the show. The first proper interaction between these two would be during the show. Youju's shy at first so she'll probably be partly in awe partly intimidated by Jiahui, because wow she is stunning but also kinda scary. And then after the initial introduction, Youju would be fascinated by her. They'll gradually have more conversations, and Youju would be like "I want to be her when I grow up", because Jiahui seems so smart and so sure about what she wants to do and there's so much of it! She wants to go to college, write a book, she wants to compose songs, she wants to be an idol... meanwhile Youju is so confused about her own life she doesn't even know what she should have for breakfast. So there'll definitely be a lot of admiration, and also the awe factor because "she moved to an entirely different country all by herself and that's so brave!!" (and Youju is just so very scared), and also curiosity about all the things Jiahui knows.

▪ PRISTIN/
Corny as it sounds, Youju has always thought the other girls of her group will be her sisters. And she thought so - she's always been close to the other girls to some degree, Choyeon/Saeyool more than most, but she truly loved each and every one of them. Which makes her feel even more guilty about staying with Pledis, despite them all agreeing to go on a different path in this specific matter (but is it really the case? With the rumors going around of a different debut, a debut with her and Saeyool, Youju can't be sure). They all still talk to each other, but guilt-ridden Youju feels bad and has been growing distant in the past few months, which for everyone involved.

COMPANY pledis
TRAINING PERIOD 7-9 years, 7 until Pristin, 9 including promotions+hiatus
TRAINEE LIFE

After the drought that followed We Like, Youju had nothing to do. She felt stupid for dropping out of high school for Pristin. She thought she wouldn't have time, that she would have to focus all of her mind into the debut and the group, but here she was, hanging around the dorm and the company most of the time with nothing to do. The fear starting eating her from inside out - nothing was sure about her career now, and here she was without even a high school diploma.

And for the first time in a while, Youju makes a decision and stand by it. She goes back to school. She missed a year, which means that she needs to be in a grade lower than she's supposed to be, not with Saeyool and Siyeon but on her own. But it's okay, especially considering that she's occupied and doesn't think about the fest that is the hiatus much. She should've. The disbandment wouldn't have been as shocking if she did.

Going to school during the hiatus was one thing. But it's not a hiatus anymore, the group is disbanding, and the first buds of guilt are blossoming. Youju keeps thinking that if she practiced instead, if she tried to do something that would help the group instead of thinking about herself... maybe it would've helped. She knows she's not special enough to have achieved anything, but she should've tried.

Contract negotiations come up - Pristin is done, that's for sure, and most of the girls want out, but the company still offers contracts. Youju doesn't know what to do. There it is, black ink on white paper, a guarantee for something, whatever that is. But outside... what does Youju even have outside? A high school dropout, a mediocre singer, what future is even out there for her? She doesn't even know if she still wants to be an idol, but what else is there for someone who's only ever trained to be one? Siyeon, Nayoung, Eunwoo... now those are idols. They have contracts lining up for them, but what other company other than Pledis would want Youju? And then there's Saeyool - Saeyool who could've had contracts lining up for her, yet has signed the Pledis one without so much of a hesitation. Youju doesn't know what to do.

She doesn't, and no one can tell her what to do either (Saeyool wants her to stay, Siyeon says there's nothing left for Youju at Pledis. Her parents shake their heads and raise their shoulders and tell her that it's her decision to make, has always been). And so she doesn't know what to do.

So of course she signs that contract, and her heart breaks into million pieces when she tells the rest of them.

They say it's fine, but Youju knows it isn't.

She doesn't know what to do.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
▪ PRODUCE 101 - finished rank 42

▪ PRISTIN - replacing Roa, position: lead rapper, lead dancer, vocalist
▪ PRISTIN V - replacing Roa, project canceled after pre-production.
TALENT TWIN olivia hye of loona
BACKUP TALENT TWIN gahyeon of dreamcatcher, chaeyoung of fromis_9

SKILLS
▪ vocal - 3/10
▪  rap - 4/10
▪ dance - 4/10 
▪ performance - 6/10
▪ variety - 5/10

Her skills, especially dancing and rapping, used to be a bit better, but due to her hiatus and lack of training during it, she's out of practice.

OTHER TALENTS fairly good at sports, though she used to be better

CONCEPTS 
▪ cute - She used to be a lot more comfortable with cute concepts when she was fifteen, back in produce101 and when Pristin debuted. Now, the guilt-ridden part of her brain doesn't believe she can do them very well anymore. The training she's done with Pristin is still stuck in her brain, so if she needs to do it she'll be professional and will utilize her performing techniques, but there's no joy to be found in it, just guilt. She would totally at GFriend level of cute, she knows the ins and outs of the quirky-cute of Twice/Pristin/fromis.
▪ y - she loves being y on stage. She never really had a proper chance - in Pristin she was the second youngest, and no one had any intentions of letting a sixteen-year-old her hips and shake her on stage. But Youju has always wanted to - she likes acting confident on stage, likes making the crowd go wild. She's not as good at it as she thinks, mostly because she never had the chance to practice.
▪ girl crush - Youju thinks it's essentially the same thing as y - the bedroom eyes and lip bites are still here, the choreo just has less hip s. She does it a little bit better than y, mostly because of Pristin V
▪ other - honestly, Youju thinks that every other concept out there is just a variation of cute and girl crush/y/whatever they want to call it. She doesn't quite get the difference between pure cute and dreamy cute, and she'll probably just act cute/confident/y.

In general, if Youju feels a song, she'll do very well (think Olivia Hye in loona's Cherry Bomb cover) and it wouldn't really matter what concept it is. If she doesn't feel a song she'll still be professional, but there's a palpable difference to when she's actually enjoying a song. There's no stopping her then.

COMMENTS here you go! Sorry it took me so long! And sorry if some sections seem rushed, I really wanted to get this done before the deadline
SCENE REQUESTS nothing that comes to mind, you got this~~
PASSWORD same password as nappuenge (crazy in love / question mark)