FULL NAME kim shani

❒ yeah, come on - the lights are dim on the stage, and the first notes of a piano arrangement of "Call Me Baby" fill the hall. Fans scream with excitement as Pledis' Jung Eunwoo begins her sultry rendition of the song. Then, the camera switches to independent trainee Kim Shani, who grips the mic and smirks. Kim Shani, the cute seventeen year old who has fit right into Apink's performance. Kim Shani, whose jaw hung open and cheeks reddened as the Hot Issue team did their legendary performance. That Kim Shani smirks into the camera with lazy bedroom eyes, and
says "yeah, come on" with so much appeal that the crowd goes wild and
every single girl in the waiting room bursts into loud exclaims of wonder. Needless to say that "yeah, come on" would get attached to Shani's name for the rest of the show, much to the girl's groans and embarrassed protests.

ETHNICITY korean

NATIONALITY korean

❒ korean native.

❒ japanese basic. Other than the occasional google translating during an online shopping session, before signing with 3D Shani hasn't been in contact with the language. A year of vigorous training later, and Shani can speak Japanese... kind of. She can read it, very very slowly, and given enough time she'll be able to memorize and sing lyrics in the language (though not without an accent, thank god it's less noticeable when singing). But other than a basic vocabulary fit for asking for directions and thanking people for coming to the concert (and, of course, the ordering process of an online shop), Shani is still far away from speaking freely.

FACE CLAIM arin of oh my girl

BACKUP yena of iz*one, chuu of loona

APPEARANCE the bangs follow Kim Shani wherever she goes. They've been a constant in her life since middle-school, even before the braces came and went, even before her nose was retouched by a surgeon and her thighs got two moles that are oh so common among idols who get carbon injections. The bangs have been with Shani through puberty, through acne and growth sprouts, through bad grades and parental scoldings. The bangs have never disappointed. The bangs have been there when her first crush broke her heart, and when she placed 25th on Produce 101 (so close, and yet so, so far), and when she had to wait and train and train and wait. The bangs have been with her for so long that her forehead is slightly whiter than her already white face. They are her curtain, her shield, her comfort. They are her. Sometimes, she lifts the locks, looks in the mirror, and sees another person. A stranger, mysterious and unknown. Sometimes she's afraid of this stranger. Sometimes she wants to find out just who exactly that stranger is. 

STYLE the best thing about being a girl is, without any doubt, the skirts. Periods and births may have been created by Satan, but pretty skirts and dresses and cute little bows and hair ties and shoes... those are the creations of angels. Shani adores them with a passion - everything that is pretty and cute and colorful has a soft spot in her heart, and boy is she glad she was born into the gender that can wear these freely without any prejudice tailing behind. The feeling of stepping outside with a flowy flowery skirt, a pretty blouse, some adorable doll shoes, and a pretty necklace around your neck... nothing would give you that much-needed energy and confidence boost quite like that. She has her fair share of jeans and shorts too, of course, and even the occasional printed t-shirt - they have their place in the circle of life too. But everything cute or pretty or adorable is where it's at. She spends an embarrassing amount of time shopping online for cute accessories from China and Japan, and if she spots a cute thing at the mall (like a hat! or a ring! or socks! or those cute Etude House lip tint cases!), you better bring out the big guns because that's the only way you're getting her out of there.

 

 

 

 

Shani comes exactly like the cute, useless things she orders online. There is the adorable packaging, with a diaphanous window at the center that showcases the product - perhaps a little battered, perhaps not exactly what they showed on the site, but it tries. Oh it tries so hard.

Girly, adorable, with a tendency to awkwardly laugh after doing something embarrassing, and an all-consuming passion for everything cute – That is Kim Shani, and that is really all you need to know (if the girl in question is to be believed). The kind of girl that squeals and rushes over to show you the new most adorable lip tint Etude House has ever produced, even if that's the exact thing she said last time they released a new product. There's not much to her other than that. Sure, she's a great listener and really fun to have around. She's a good friend and a good person. That's what everyone says. That's all they know.

Jokes and memes are her bread and butter, self-deprecating ones being the sweet strawberry jam you can't help but add even when you're on a diet. The awkward, loud laughter accompanied by a scratch of the head and a furious blush is practically a trademark (or at the very least the core of many, many crack compilations on youtube) of Shani, be it an awkward situation, tense moment, or really just a very funny joke. She is exactly the right combination of "oh sweetie no" and "awww" to spice up any company.

 

 

There is a cloak that envelops Shani like a protective shield - a thin, transparent coat of film that may seem like good protection, but in reality isn't all that hard to look through. She is a closed person, in theory. She doesn't like talking about herself nor does she like talking about her insecurities or any of her negative feelings. Even when tears of frustration streamed down Shani's face after an especially bad scolding by the vocal trainer, she shook her head and stuttered that she was alright. Talking about herself makes her uncomfortable, and painfully exposed. And it would've been all nice if it wasn't for the fact that Shani is practically an open book. In her naivety, she believes that she isn't all that bad at hiding her feelings, but they are written all over her face at all times. A protective shield that isn't protective at all. One look at Shani tells you everything you need to know - who she is, what she feels. Try to talk to her about it, and she wouldn't understand how you figured out she was upset.

But then she loves to listen. There is a kindness to her - the kind that makes her shake her head in horror after watching something bad happen on the news, and the kind that has created a list of potential charities she would like to donate and endorse when she is successful enough to afford it - and it drives Shani with a strong desire to help and make things better. She has big dreams (has always had them, for better or worse) but she starts small. She offers a sturdy shoulder and an open ear to anyone who seeks it, be it a friend or even just someone who's only talked to for a few times - though you don't need much to be considered a friend in her eyes. She sees someone in distress and immediately wants to help. While she's not always good at it - too naive to offer solid, practical advice, and too insecure to truly feel like her advice is any good - she tries, every time. Even if all you need is someone to provide the back vocals of Bohemian Rhapsody. She will belt the "Galileo" part for you.

Shani dreams big. In her dreams, there is a stage and there is her. And she is wonderful and beautiful and great. She is effortless, a true star, like the ones she had seen on tv as a little girl and all but idolized into godhood. But like all dreams, come morning they fade into wisps, and reality greets with a big smile full of sharp teeth.

She's never shied away from hard work. Shani has always believed that she was born to be a star, and has been determined to achieve her dream. She's surprisingly studious when it comes to the things she wants to learn: be it training at the dance academy or at 3D, hours on end at times, or researching the theory behind vocal techniques until her eyes hurt and her ears ache from the earphones and her tongue feels swollen from singing. The problem is, in Shani's head there is a straight line from hard work to success. There is no account for luck, connections, outside circumstances, and the simple truth of talent. So when her vocal technique gets scolded despite the years she's spent working on it, something is wrong in the code. She never blames others, only herself, but she never understands what can be done. She can't settle on "that's just the way things are" - there is supposed to be no limit to one's abilities but the sky, so how is it possible that she can't improve? It's her, it's all her, but there's nothing she can do it about, no matter how much she tries. That cycle is vicious and ruthless, and has won many a battle against Shani's ambitions and confidence. 

But the dreams remain. This image of the glamorous entertainment industry she imagined as a ten-year-old remains, the sterile glamour and the pristine shine of stardom. She knows right from wrong, and she knows about all these awful things that happen in the world, but it's all in theory. A girl who never had to ask for anything, it's hard for Shani to understand that there isn't a difference between the awful things she reads about online and real life. She doesn't think about consequences when doing something, not as thoroughly as one should - signing up with an unknown company so quickly and impulsively could've gone entirely different in the blink of an eye, but Shani doesn't think about it. Things like that don't happen to her or to those she knows, it's something reserved for sad newspapers and online articles.

In her mind, things just sort of work out, one way or another. It sure did for her, despite her long and tedious journey. If anything, that six-year long journey is the type of hardship Shani thinks happens, as it was the hardest thing she went through in her life. Debuting and experiencing what the "real" world is like will be a huge wakeup call for her - her ambition is as practical as her dreams, and faced before the things she might see in the industry, she might not have what it takes to overcome it all. Shani dreams of the stars, of people like SNSD and BTS, but she only sees the destination, not the road, and the road is the important part of this equation.

Determination and practice can only get you so far.

But she tries. She really tries so hard.

 

 

 

 

 

Suwon had done a wonderful job of preparing Shani for the wonders of Seoul. It had everything a growing girl with big dreams could ever have - a booming metropolis, large enough to get the Big City Experience but not so large as to feel overly crowded. Kim Shani grew among these concrete jungles that were almost yet not quite Seoul, and she had always felt like a big city girl. Appropriately, Kim Shani had big city dreams.

Dreams of stardom have not been rare among Shani's generation, the Girls' Generation made sure of that. Gee swept across the nation as quickly as the Plague, and ten-year-olds across the city danced to the moves and sang about the perfect Prince Charming and the innocent love they knew nothing about. Shani, of course, was among them. With Girls' Generation came SHINee, and then T-Ara and Beast and the entirety of the second and third generations of Kpop. And what a Big City Dream it was, to stand on stage in front of thousands and perform, to be the It Girl of Korea, to meet celebrities and be one. With stars in her eyes and the screams of her fans in her ears, Shani begged her parents to sign her up for singing and dancing classes, and when she first stepped into the studio, it felt as if she was just one step away from being a star.

 

Six years later, and she was still there. As a teenager, Shani's desire to be an idol hasn't disappeared, though she has met the harsh reality of how competitive the industry is. She has failed dozens of auditions - SM, JYP, YG, time and time again, Cube, Starship, Pledis, Source Music... She tried them all, again and again and again, and all of them had said no. She was sixteen and hopeful, yet the countless failures had left their mark on her confidence and ambitions. Six years is a long time to work for something and not see the light at the end of the tunnel. She enjoyed singing and dancing, a lot, but it was different - she was taking private lessons and attending a dancing academy. Those didn't create a pretty little path towards a project group and MAMA, an entertainment company did. Frustrating and disappointment and fear have festered in Shani as she entered high school and had to start thinking about her future - her real, actual future that was going to come sooner rather than later. A few months and Shani might've given up on her dream. Thankfully, Produce 101 happened.

 

It was one of her teachers at the dance academy who said that he knows someone in a production team of a new survival show that Mnet was going to do, and that they were recruiting participants. Mostly trainees from companies, but they are looking for some independent girls too. A bunch of girls decided that yet another trip to Seoul couldn't hurt, and Shani, never one to back down from an audition, decided to go. And for the first time in six years, someone looked at her and decided that Shani was exactly what they wanted.

 

Produce 101, despite all of its ups and hardships, was the best thing that happened to Shani in her life. For the first time in her life, Shani stood on a real stage. The competition was cutthroat and the shooting was long and exhausting and the screentime was total and utter bullcrap, but it could all be forgiven because Shani was performing. For the first time since she started her journey to idoldom, Shani felt like she was going somewhere. Being an independent trainee in a competition where your company is almost as important as you was tough, but with her adorable looks, dorky jokes and work ethic, and more importantly one viral performance, Shani managed to climb the ranks and reached 25th before being eliminated in the 10th episode. Only a few days after her elimination she was approached by a scout from a new company that was in the process of scouting trainees for a potential girl group. She didn't know much about 3D Entertainment, but the promises of a quick and sure debut were alluring, especially after tasting the forbidden fruit of standing on a stage.

 

In retrospect, she should've known it was a bit too good to be true. A "quick debut" turned into ten months of vigorous training to fix and improve the skills she had acquired on her own. Shani had to move to Seoul on her own (thank god for the 3D dorm) and change schools from the one she attended in Seoul to SOPA. It was hard and tiring and scary, but at least she was there. A trainee, on the way to becoming a proper idol. 

 

 

❒ got her nose done when she was sixteen, as a birthday present from her parents. It was still a tiiiiiiny bit swollen during the early episodes of Produce 101 but thankfully no one has commented on it.
❒ has a not so mild obsession with cute, mostly useless things - the kind you see on Wish and Aliexpress that cost less than a dollar so it's easy to go overboard and order like a hundred. Shani goes overboard, always.
❒ her room is filled with said cute useless things to the brim - the one back home and the one in her dorm. She is very strict about keeping them organized too, everything has a place, be it on the shelf or on her nightstand. And you bet her bed sheets are all ing adorable.
❒ contrary to what one might think, Shani is a curser. Don't let the girly fashion and obsession with everything adorable fool you - '', '' and '' are all regular words in her daily vocabulary. You can imagine how hard it was during Produce 101...
❒ despite not having much talent for it, Shani really wants to learn how to compose and produce music. She finds it absolutely fascinating and really wants to get good. She's been pestering 3D's producers for a while now, but so far there hasn't been much progress. Her problem is that while she has a lot of enthusiasm, she lacks in creativity and understanding of creating something deeper than a simple melody.
❒ Shani is short-sighted and has 3 pairs of different glasses. It's not that bad, she can still see without them, though everything gets a bit blurry. She usually wears glasses around the dorm and company building and wears contacts during various idol activities.

❒ you can bet your that once she gets her hands on Instagram (her own account or the group's, doesn't matter), she will post pictures of all the cute things she sees. Expect to see 15 pics of that one raccoon cafe in Itaewon. Cuteness like that has to be documented!
❒ gets embarrassed really easily, and gets all red and giddy when it happens. Usually laughs it off quickly (and very, very loudly)
❒ also gets scared extremely easily. Jumpscares, haunted houses, those Produce pranks and segments where you have to put your hand inside the box... Shani hates them with a passion. She'll scream and she might even cry, and will definitely curse to hell and back. Variety shows are going to be fun.
❒ calls herself a gamer, when in reality all she ever played is Sims. She's a ing pro in it, though, and has hundreds of hours across the 4 different games. Her favorite is Sims 3 - she isn't old enough to have that Sims 2 nostalgia, and Sims 3 was just so fantastic with its open city and gameplay and everything. Sims 4 is a downgrade for her, but she can't help loving it too. The Sims 3 graphics are... well they did not age nicely and Shani likes her pretty things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

PLOTLINE lead vocalist 1, lead dancer 2 (b/u: lead vocalist 2)

❒ vocal - Rose of Blackpink
❒ dance - Rose of Blackpink

Shani has taken dancing classes for six years, and while she doesn't have the silky smooth moves that a naturally gifted dancer might boast, her dancing is polished and good enough to count among kpop girl groups. She picks up choreographies with relative ease, thanks to the years of practice under her belt, and can even choreograph a simple enough routine if pressed.

Her vocal abilities, in contrast, are a lot more natural. She's been gifted with a strong voice, but years of bad technique didn't do much to elevate her skill into what it could've been. As a result, her voice is airy and nasaly. Her vocal cords strain when she tries to hit high notes with the technique she's learned, and 3D has been trying to do damage control during the year of her training. There's been progress, but it's still a long way until Shani's vocal cords will thank her vocal trainer for saving them from their upcoming doom.

TRAINEE YEARS ten months, march 2016-january 2017

TRAINEE LIFE Being a trainee at a proper company was perhaps even worse than participating in Produce 101 in terms of a sleeping schedule. Managing between school (and a new school at that! During Junior year of high school! If that wasn't the scariest thing Shani had done in her life...) and training, homework and workouts, Japanese lessons and dancing lessons and, perhaps the worst of all, vocal lessons... there wasn't much time to have a social life, talk to her parents, or just eat and sleep. It was a terribly lonely experience - though most of the trainees at 3D turned out to be nice to hang out with - and the fact that her vocal abilities had been basically deemed irreparable did not help at all.

 

Turns out that her vocal technique is absolutely horrendous, if the vocal trainer was to be believed. According to 3D, most of what she had been taught was wrong, and now Shani had to do damage control before debuting. The entire situation was ridiculous, considering her vocal performance in Produce 101 was what got her to her rank. Frustrated and ashamed, with her confidence plummeting just like in the days of her failed auditions, Shani had no choice but to try and "fix" her voice, even if everything they tried to make her do sounded wrong. Never one to back down from hard work, Shani took it upon herself to improve, but her voice was used to one way of singing for years now and struggled against her attempts to change. Ten months later, there is improvement if 3D is to be believed. Shani doesn't really know what to think - on one hand she does feel like her voice has gotten a tiny bit more powerful and she can understand that some of what she did before wasn't exactly by the book. On the other hand, who cares about the book? She has a style, a unique-sounding voice, and the fact that this very style has been criticized so much is yet another low blow to her self-esteem. At least her dancing didn't need much working, thank you dance academy!

 

PREDEBUT

ARTICLES

 

 

 

 

It's there.

All of the trembling nervousness evaporates from her body, because the pikachu statuette - topped with a red ribbon on each of its ears, for extra cuteness - is standing proudly on the edge of Songseon's desk, a valiant warrior amidst the organized clutter of the office. Holy ing , it's there.

"The pikachu I got you," She says dumbly.

"Hello to you too, Shani." Songseon chuckles warmly. "It's good to see you, have a seat. Yes, of course your gift is here. Where else would I put it?"

"Umm..." She doesn't have an answer for that, mouth still slightly agape, and so she plumps down on the plush chair and waits for further instruction.

"I haven't heard much from you ever since preparations for this debut started how have you been?" Songseon implores in that kind voice of hers, the kind that makes Shani want to melt.

She can't tell her it's been absolute ing hell. Absolutely not. Instead, she goes with, "Everything has been great!"

The look her boss gives her is that of mild skepticism.

So of course she rambles, a desperate attempt to justify her lie. "I can't believe our debut is finally here, Songseon-nim! Seriously, it feels like it was yesterday when you offered me to sign with the company, thank you so, so, so much for believing in me."

"You're very welcome." says Songseon slowly. "I don't know how reassuring it is, but, behind the scenes, we've been doing our best for you to debut well."

It is reassuring, actually. Very much so. It makes a grin spread over Shani's face, and a warm feeling erupts in the pit of her stomach. There is so much reassurance in the mere word 'debut' that it's almost embarrassing, but to hear that people are working hard to make them succeed, that people believe in them... Not even the pinch of dread of disappointing them cannot compete with the absolute and utter glee of it.

"I – yes. Yes, thank you." she says, because there is nothing she can say that would make Songseon comprehend.

"Now, can I ask you something personal?"

"Yes, anything."

"I'd like to know why you think I chose you to debut in Wonder."

The question catches her off guard, and Shani chokes on her own spit and coughs. Mercilessly, Songseon pretends not to notice.

.

"Well, um..." Unreasonable panic sends sparks down her stomach, such a stupid reaction to such a stupid question. Well, no - the question itself isn't stupid, certainly, Songseon has every right to ask it, but... oh god, did she really have to? As if Shani isn't awkward enough as it is. What is she even supposed to say? "Um... oh! Produce!" ing Bingo. "I've ranked pretty high on Produce 101, so there's hype, right? That would be good for the group?"

She wants to add something about her skills, but hesitates. The vocal trainer scolded her again just this morning.

By the way her boss raises her eyebrow, there was no Bingo, only Bin-no. "Yes, you and Ara will definitely help make our marketing a bit easier, at first. But that's not why you're here. I believe in you, and I expect a lot from you. I'm glad you're a member of 3D's first group."

The butterflies in her stomach start partying like it's the ing mating season. Shani fights the urge to giggle like a silly schoolgirl so hard that she almost misses Songseon's next question.

"What do you want to accomplish individually?"

She stares at her boss a second too long before her words register in her brain. "Individually?"

"Individually."

Taeyeon rushes to her mind in all of her 'I' glory. "Oh, well... uh, solo?" Shani squeaks, almost too quiet for Songseon to hear. "I– I mean a solo release, maybe? Like, a one-time thing, or... not a one-time thing? Whichever works for the company, it would be absolutely amazing either way, like even an SM-station style release would be so awesome...not... not that I'm greedy! Honestly I would be happy with everything! And the group comes first, of course! But yes, whatever the company wants, I would be happy – I would just be happy. I am happy. Thank you so much for debuting me."

Songseon is unreadable, but the corner of trembles as it fights the urge to move. "I see. I'm not making any promises, but I'll see how I can help you. Another similar question, what would you like to achieve as a group?"

And Taeyeon changes from the blonde hippie to a brunette in tight-fitting jeans, joined with the rest of Girl's Generation in an encore stage of Gee. But Shani has embarrassed herself enough for one sitting, so she tries to curb her enthusiasm. "I would really like our group to do well. We've all trained for so long, and we've all worked really hard... I feel like we deserve it. Everyone is so talented and so pretty and so hard-working. And we have you. I really want us to make you proud, Songseon-nim." she says, meaning every word.

"Thank you, I really want you to make me proud too. Now, one last question. I made it a point to ask this to all of you, is there anything you would like to try in the future?"

"Hm... let's see," says Shani, furrowing her brows in concentration. Then she exclaims, "Oh! Yes! I would really like to compose something for Wonder! I've been so interested in composing lately, I'm not really good at it, but I've been practicing! Yoomi-unnie and I have been working on it after training. And I promise I'll get better! I know - I know it's not something that you can guarantee, we need to think about the group and the album first, but... but if it'd be possible, in the future, I would like to try it. Oh and also MCing and variety shows and CFs and maybe a drama? - no, I'm never going to be good enough at acting for a drama, so just CFs and MCing and variety shows and maybe king of masked singer oooh and - I'll stop rambling now." she lowers her head and coughs when she notices the way Songseon looks at her phone. So much for not embarrassing herself anymore. 

"No, no, it's quite alright." says Songseon, "But I'm afraid it seems like I have to go now. Forgive me for interrupting your break from practice, but thank you for talking to me, Shani."

"No, no, thank you for having me, Songseon-nim!" Shani gets up and bows, low and deep and with as much respect she can muster.

The ribbon-eared pikachu stares at her with a judging expression as she closes the door behind her.

 

 

 

COMMENTS oh my god I am sorry for this monstrosity I honestly didn't think it'd turn out so long jesus.
and I'm just saying that Arin has bang-free pics now... FREE THE FOREHEAD

SCENE REQUESTS coughfreethebangscough

PASSWORD "Wonder-FULL! Hello we are Wonder!" sorry I tried rekt