Mirror, Mirror on the wall...
 Who is the fairest of them all? 

FACE CLAIM : yugyeom of got7 BACK-UP : jungkook of bts

HEIGHT : 182 centimeters WEIGHT : 67 kilograms

Am I a mirror?

Reflective glass instead of skin, metal hangers for bones. I look, and it's an illusion. Everything is an illusion. So tell me, am I a mirror? They can show, but they can't see, not really, not anything that is not the illusions of their own creation.

Sometimes I wonder if I even know what I look like. That shaggy hair, a messy curtain over slanted eyes, is it really black? When I scrunch my nose, is it real? When my lips move, are they really my lips? The moles, stars scattered across my body for lost sailors to wish upon, are they sirens imagined in a drunken haze? Am I really that tall? Would I be able to tell if I was looking not in the mirror but through it?

1) god damn it, that part about the moles and
the stars is way too melodramatic it's just ing moles,
gotta fix it. why was it so depressive jeez this is what
happens when you write before Hyojung-ssaem's class

2) Used metal hangers - could add a part about clothes
maybe?  Not that there's anything poetic to write about
my five pairs of jeans and t-shirts, but it feels lacking.
(?) school/prison uniform allegory?
(?) old sneakers gliding on the pavement, pirouettes
on crosswalks wait no I don't do ballet

3) Add more about appearance - * full lips? sharp nose?
                                                             * add something about muscles treat yourself
                                                             * snow white metaphors!!!!!! I'm pale as
                                                             * finally get a tattoo you whimp, that 
4 ) get money for tattoo

    But looks aren't anything...  
   WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE, TRUMPS ALL.   

creative, empathic,  open-minded 
poetic, philosophic, confused about life, emotional 
evasive, distrustful, stubborn, insecure 

Hyunsoo is a good kid.

I can't see how he's going to graduate this year, but he's a good kid. This session he showed me some of his written pieces, and I can't help thinking that if he wasn't gifted, if he wasn't here, he would've been an excellent author. Then again, most of his work is fueled by all the hardships he's gone through, so perhaps not. The irony of life. I think he said during one of our sessions something along the lines of "the greatest artists were born to live with pain". It was such a sad thing to say.

It makes sense that his creativity is fuelled by his powers, his imagination is where his true strength lies. His poems are beautiful, and things he told me he had seen are absolutely enthralling - paintings coming to life, creatures that have never walked the earth... he told me that his stories come to life, and his nightmares haunt him even when he's awake. Strictly professionally, the way Hyunsoo's brain operates is fascinating, and his psyche evaluation is one of the most interesting cases I've had so far. In reality, I pity him. His powers have seriously ed him over I would say that his powers are the main cause for his mental instability. Once again, I must stress that it is extremely important for students, especially those with powers prone to cause instability, to have proper guidance and training ↩ talk to the headmaster about this again! Changes must be implemented the government be damned

Even after years of sessions with me, there are things Hyunsoo evades in our conversations - it still hurts him to talk about his family (he still won't write letters to his mother, that stubborn little - he keeps telling me that he doesn't know which of his childhood memories are real and he doesn't want to open that can of worms), and in general his childhood is a dismissing handwave and a vague "oh you know noona, this and that, you generic childhood trauma that everyone here has to some degree".  He did it again today. That's what he says to me, one of the few people he trusts. With his peers, it's even worse. I'm glad he at least has his "Outcast Quartet" to keep him company. All alone, I fear that he would lose his mind completely.

He's trying to create some form of contact with other people, which I guess is a good thing. Even though the way he does it... is not the most conventional. He got caught by Taehwan for casting an illusion on Lee Haesook during the dueling tournament - the poor girl got so relaxed that she fell asleep right where she was sitting. I asked him about it, and he said that he just wanted to help. She looked so tired to him, and he thought that if he made her feel like she was in the fluffiest, most comfortable bed, it would help. He said he does it from time to time, when he sees someone who he thinks he can help. I asked him if he did this on me before, and I think he understood that it was a bad thing. He looked shameful. He said that if he has to suffer because of his power, at least he can help others feel better with it. I guess I should be happy that he's at least trying to approach others. Three years ago, he would've never gone through such a bother. Now, I just need to teach him that most people don't take too kindly to things like that... more work. Always more work.

But he is such a good kid. His smile is gentle even if his gaze is opaque. And he takes it all with such stride, like he should be honored to carry this awful burden. A poet's life my . It's not his fault these ing higherups ed him over this way of thinking isn't healthy. He's way too philosophical for his own good, but I guess that's just one of his coping mechanisms. A way to make his life matter, or a way to make his life not utter - because "there's no good or bad, there just is" is a lot better than "I don't know how to be alive".

He keeps asking me what it's like... to live with a normal mind. And he does it in this voice, like he's desperately trying to figure out an impossible concept. It's... very hard to explain. He's very open-minded, bless him. and he tries to understand everything that I tell him. But I can see it in his eyes, he doesn't get it. Logically, he knows that most people don't see what he sees, but at this point, he doesn't remember what it's like without it. He imagines a regular mind the way I imagine everything that's going in his.

I'm going to have to write an evaluation about him soon, and I don't know what I'm going to do. He can't graduate, he just can't. But... But here, I don't know what will happen

He's a good kid.

 for future sessions:

- more sessions inside his illusions: he seems to like those
- cosplay?
- bring one of the mental power students too distrustful
- movie time, with enough time to discuss it afterward!!!
- buy more chocolate candy

Date: 20280224
entry #217

Once upon a time, there was a boy who locked himself in a tower because being poetic was all he had.

He would imagine shipwrecks in the cracks on his walls, and would see treasure maps in the cobwebs under his bed.  He would lock himself and throw the key away, and would use the ink of his pen as hot air balloons that would carry him away to grand adventures.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who could not see and could not tell.

His ears would whisper the seductive melodies of sirens, his fingertips would feel precious stones that he had never seen before. His feet would feel grass and sand through the floor of his bedroom, and his hair would ruffle at a nonexistent wind carried from a different world. And his eyes, they were the biggest liars. He could never believe them, and so he could not see and could not tell. They showed him truths and lies and half-hopeful maybes, they laughed at his dreams and the adventures he had given up on. So he locked himself in the tower and threw the key away. Being poetic was all he had.

Once upon a time,  there was a boy who wished upon the stars that he saw in the mirror. His eyes were liars, but the lies they told were sweet and promising, and not even locked doors and thrown away keys could stop him. Being poetic was all he had, and so he accepted his fate. Being poetic was all he had, and he knew that the greatest poets were born with the burden of loving their pain.

20280315
KANG, HYUNSOO
00295694
CODE: RED

First, before I begin my written evaluation, I must once again stress the importance of a good mental system implemented both in Ledrith and Nelore academies. Monitoring and helping students from their early days at the academy is extremely important in stabilizing them mentally. Everything that has happened with Kang Hyunsoo could've been prevented.

My professional evaluation is that Kang Hyunso is not ready to graduate. He is simply too unstable. He will not be able to lead a normal life in the outside society, nor will he be able to teach at the Academy. I also highly recommend to not employ him in the government, for risk of creating even more instability. 

While he has good control over the powers that he was trained to use, one must not forget that Hyunsoo's powers also affect his own mind, and to my bewilderment, that part has barely been trained by any person of authority in the Academy. If it wasn't for the regularly scheduled sessions between Kang Hyunsoo and I, his mental state would've deteriorated to the point of complete instability. As it is now, we are working on getting to a better place. I implore you not to hinder his progress.

Kang Hyunsoo doesn't know what the real world is. He has been sheltered at both Academies for most of his conscious life, and his powers (and his lack of control over them) have ensured that he doesn't remember what is life the way that we perceive it. He is extremely confused about concepts that you and I would've found trivial, and he doesn't trust himself, let alone others.

He has episodes in which he experiences illusions of various lengths and contexts: sometimes he knows that he's in one, other times he's completely oblivious. He has memories which he had never experienced in real life, and has different sets of memories of situations that he has experienced. He cannot trust his mind, and he cannot trust himself. It has made him extremely distrustful, evasive, confused, and insecure. To put him in any sort of combat, or IT, or any sort of field or research work would mean putting him through even more stress - stress that I doubt his brain would be able to take. Putting him in the outside world would mean danger both for him and everyone else.

But I have made progress with him, over the course of the three and a half years of sessions with him. We have made tremendous progress that even I have doubted we can achieve at first. But the progress has been made. Kang Hyunsoo was a social outcast by choice, with strong anger and distrust towards anyone else. Now, he has grown curious and empathic of other people. He has developed coping mechanisms that are fairly healthy. He is on his way to somewhere better.

I implore you to give me another year. I can make him better. I can reverse the mistakes that were done with his training, at least to some extent. But if you disregard my evaluation and decide that Kang Hyunsoo is fit for graduation, his mental state will deteriorate. He will become a danger to society, and I can't say what will need to be done to fix that. Please, do not let him suffer for your mistakes.

BACKGROUND : 

Hyunoo's first real friend was named Jongki. They were the greatest friends five-year-olds could be, practically inseparable. Everything they did, they did together. It seemed as if they could read each other's minds sometimes, that's inseparable they were. Hyunsoo adored Jongki with all of his heart. The only problem was, Jongki wasn't real.

It was hard to tell at first that there was something off about Hyunsoo. Many children claimed to see things that were not there, imagination wild and creativity overflowing out of their growing brains. To  Heeryeon and Jaewang Kang nothing seemed out of the ordinary - Hyunsoo was a healthy young boy, of course he would have an imaginary friend. Of course he would imagine all this beautiful fantasy creature in his room. Of course he would cry about the scary monsters under his bed.

It wasn't until his mother started seeing vines growing out of the fridge to the gleeful laughter of her son that she realized that perhaps her little boy was more special than it seemed. Both without any powers and experience dealing with it, Hyunsoo's parents turned to the most trusted source in that department - the government, and through them, Nelore Academy. A few evaluations later, and wow! Little Hyunsoo is, in fact, one of the people with power! And a Code Red at that! Even without proper connections to powers, Heeryeon and Jaewang knew the prestige that came with a Code Red ability, and blindly believing the representative sent to speak to them about "how powerful your boy is. Such an amazing power!  But dangerous, also potentially dangerous, to others but especially to Hyunsoo. He has to be protected, Mr. and Mrs. Kang, and he has to be trained, if only to help him control his remarkable abilities, such remarkable abilities!".  Nelore Academy is the place for your boy, they said, and the Kangs believed it.  Red Code meant Hyunsoo was set for life, his future was full of success and prestige and happiness. Hyunsoo was administered to Nelore Academy without a second thought.

In Nelore, slowly, Hyunsoo's training began. Everyone was oh so very fascinated with his ability to project his illusions on others, and since the very first day he was encouraged to focus on that aspect of his powers. Being a Code Red, even in Nelore, meant special treatment, with all of its focus being on Hyunsoo learning to project his illusions. The other side of his ability - the illusions he himself saw - was barely even touched other than during the basic classes. But with his power growing from the projection training, Hyunsoo's other power grew as well. It was already starting to get hard to be with people when he saw the world drastically different, but with his powers evolving (and his memories of what it was like before fading), Hyunsoo soon found himself in a peculiar situation. His peers wanted to be friends with him, but as much as he tried, Hyunsoo couldn't. It was always so weird, being with people and feeling like he was in a completely different world. Hyunsoo saw things, experienced things, but when he talked to his friends about that one annoying kid in class or that one time they played hide and seek, his friends would look at him with confusion. That was when Hyunsoo learned that his world was truly and completely different. He was living in an entirely different dimension, one where his eyes lied to him and his memories were fooled time and time again.

Pretty quickly, Hyunsoo was sent to Nelore's counselor, a kind old woman name Aeja who could talk to animals and thus had six different cats laying around in her office. She was kind and sweet, but at that age Hyunsoo was confused about his powers and the world, and too stubborn to admit it and seek out help. Aeja had never quite managed to penetrate his walls, and so by the time he was 14 and moving from Nelore to Ledrith, Hyunsoo was already an outcast, an unstable student, and a confused teenage boy whose mind was lying to him.

After the transition from child to teen, from Nelore to Ledrith, it became even harder for Hyunsoo to be a part of normal society, even sheltered and filled with people with powers like Ledrith. Now, he knew that it wasn't normal, what he was going through, and that there was no way to turn it off. He knew that his own mind was constantly lying to him (and embarrassing him, oh my god what were all these illusions he  had every time he saw one of the prettier girls at the academy, and oh my god when one of them had a cleavage oh god), and that he had no way of knowing what was real and what wasn't. What followed was a lot of trust issues.  It was even harder to make friends now, and while the students with mind abilities understood his struggle to some degree and were nice to hang out with from time to time, it was hard for Hyunsoo to get attached  - how could you get attached to someone when you didn't even know if what you had was real? Hell, at this point he wasn't even sure if his parents were real or not. He might as well been an orphan who returned to an empty house for two months every year, how could he know for sure?

If it wasn't for Youngran, Hyunsoo would've probably gone completely mad. The young nurse and counselor of Ledrith Academy was nothing like Aeja. Youngran was caring, Youngran was funny, Youngran was creative, and - well, Youngran was ing hot. Above all, Youngran knew her , and through hard work and a lot (a lot) of sessions, managed to penetrate the thick walls of distrust Hyunsoo had built for himself. During the four years the two had sessions together, Hyunsoo had grown to trust Youngran, really trust her, despite himself. Even if not everything was real, he knew that at least some of it was. And if even a fracture of what he remembered Youngran did for him mentally (and physically, god bless her excuse notes) was real, then she was a gift from god sent to him to deal with his ed up life. 

So now he's in his fifth year, and he's no longer angry like he used to be when he realized that he can never be normal. He has accepted the fact, and has grown apathetic to it. It's not a bad thing and neither is it good - it just is, and there's nothing he can do about it. Instead, he has come to accept his fate and the pain that comes with it. Being an outcast is his life. Youngran hatest this outlook he has adapted (the pained artist is awfully cliche and is almost as bad to your health as the anger), and she's trying to fix that, all while trying to help Hyunsoo get to a better place. He is still awfully unstable, and knows that he just can't be a part of society. He knows that he probably won't be able to graduate this year, and it terrifies him - because he won't get better, he doesn't think he can get better than what he already is, so that means he's just doomed to... this. After a few years, what will happen to him? He can't stay at the Academy forever. So, what will happen to him? He doubts even Youngran will be able to protect him for that long, and why should she? It's not her burden to carry. It's his.

LIKES: 
— beauty - living in a world in which he sees the impossible, Hyunsoo has come to appreciate the beautiful parts of the world: both real and the one that his illusions showed him. With poetry and writing, his appreciation for it grew even more, only now he had more words to describe it. That became beauty in its own right. He likes beautiful things, beautiful colors, beautiful people. It helps to cope with the fact that not all of it is real, at least he can enjoy it anyway.

— writing - Hyunsoo started writing when he was 15, and it quickly became his most favorite hobby and best coping mechanism. He writes about everything - his illusions, his feelings, his fantasies and dreams. He wants to publish a book one day, but for now, he sticks with poems and short prose. He writes both in his laptop and in his various journals.

— tattoos - Dude, tattoos are SO COOl. They are very beautiful, and Hyunsoo loves beauty with all of his heart. He really wants to get a tattoo, and has a lot of different ideas floating around his head, but he doesn't have money for it right now. One day, he'll get a tatooo. And it will be glorious.

— bananas - he doesn't know what there is about bananas, but he absolutely adores them. It's top fruit for sure, and it can be in so many things: shakes, pancakes, cake, muffins! All the things that he loves, and bananas make them even better!

— sweets - Hyunsoo adores sweet things in general, sweet is by far the superior flavor. Chocolate, candy, cake, pancakes... oftentimes whole meals would be solely sweet things.

DISLIKES:
— mushrooms - their texture is... just no. He has to agree with Yumi on this one. Sometimes they can be pretty to look at, but most times they're just ugh.

— alcohol - it makes the illusions even worse, to the point of Hyunsoo completely losing the ability to understand where he is and what's going on around him. He tried it once with Yumi, and he's not going to try it ever again. Ever.

— tests - because of his illusions, it's already very hard for Hyunsoo to concentrate during lessons and study. He can barely study for a test, and that's assuming he can even go through one without experiencing an illusion that will distract him. He has never gotten a grade above C+.

— not knowing what's real and what's not - he can try to make himself believe that he must endure it for that sweet sweet artistic pain, but if there's one thing that Hyunsoo hates about his power, is that he doesn't know what is real and what isn't. He's not even 100% sure his parents are real. That is ed up. How is that pain helpful?


HOBBIES:
— Writing - Hyunsoo writes practically every day, be it a few pages of prose or just a short haiku. He loves writing, loves expressing his thoughts through the paper. It helps him with the illusions, he feels like he's bringing everyone to his world when he's writing.

— Working out - it's one of these things that Hyunsoo doesn't like a lot, but he does it because he's an impressionable teen who, despite everything that's going on inside his head, just wants to be cool. 

— Reading - he especially likes nonfiction, but he will read anything that is given to him. It enriches his vocabulary, but more importantly, reading gives Hyunsoo an insight into someone else's mind. He is fascinated by the "other world", the one he will never experience. When he reads, oftentimes the illusions will bring to life the things he's reading about.

HABITS:
— Daydreaming - Hyunsoo often gets lost in thought because of his illusions. They are very distracting a lot of times, and also very fascinating. It's very hard to sit through a boring class when everything looks like a snowy wonderland that just waiting to be explored.

— Replaying life events in his illusions - one of the more unhealthy habits that Hyunsoo has. It is very addictive, to replay his life in his head, to see things the way the illusions want them to be rather than how they actually were. It's easier to fix his life in his head. It doesn't help to the feeling of living a dozen different lifes and never living a real one. He hates this habit, but the addiction is too strong.

— Philosophical Debates - He's a philosophical guy, he can't help it. Anything is an open conversation if you try hard enough, and Hyunsoo loves these conversations very much. It feeds into his poetic and philosophic sides, and it always provides him with a side that he couldn't have thought of himself.

FEARS:
— Becoming lost - Hyunsoo fears getting lost in an illusion, going so deep that he won't know how to get out. Sometimes he thinks that he's already lost, that he got lost long before and everything that he sees could be just his own mind.  He's also afraid of getting lost in real life, because he has been sheltered all of his life and doesn't know a lot about what's the outside world is really like.

— Becoming stuck - He also fears getting stuck in an illusion - knowing that he's in one, yet not being able to get out. He doesn't know if it can happen, and neither does anyone he has asked. It terrifies him. He already feels like he's not really living, but at least he knows that some of it is real.

— Becoming mad - Above all, Hyunsoo fears not knowing any of this. To him, madness is completely losing the ability to understand that none of it is real, to succumb to his illusions and stopping the fight that he's been fighting for years. It would be his greatest loss.

TRIVIA :

— Hyunsoo talks to Youngran a lot, even if it's not always the real Youngran. He imagines her a lot, especially when he needs to talk to someone or figure something out, because she has consistently been his mental support and he has grown to depend on her and their sessions together.
— He really wants a pet, but he's afraid that he'll forget to feed it or just forget all about it because of his illusions.
— will add more later! Right now finishng the app is more important REKT
—

 I Don't know any perfect person...          
 But I do know flawed people who are still worth loving.  

  

— counselor/nurse/friend: Won Youngran/ 25 / nurse and counselor at Ledrith

Dear Mrs. Kang,

I know you've asked me to call you by your name plenty of time before, but once again I will refrain from it. It feels too informal. And yes, I know we've been writing each other letters and discussing your son for four years now but we haven't met in person, so my point still stands. You'll have to bear with me.

Hyunsoo suspects something is up. I shouldn't have asked for a copy of the poem he showed me, or at least I should've been more subtle about it. I'm not sure I'll be able to do something like that again, I'm sorry. I can't have Hyunsoo not trust me, I care about him too much. I told you about his problems with trust in previous letters already, so I hope you'll understand. He... it is hard for him, he barely trusts himself. I suspect that I'm the only person he really trusts (though sometimes he has this look in his eyes; as if he's trying to figure out whether I'm really in front of him or not. I don't think he even fully realizes he's doing it. It breaks my heart), and so I cannot break that bond even for the sake of his mother.

I asked him to write you something - maybe that is why he got suspicious. I asked him, but you know how he is. Stubborn as a bull, but mostly so very confused. He told me he doesn't know you enough to write to you, that you're as real as the rest of the fantasies in his head. I'm sorry. I hope this will make you feel better: he is doing better. Not good, but better. I don't know if he'll be able to graduate this year, but I will continue to do everything that is in my power to help him. He is a good kid.

Youngran.

  

— mother: Kang Heeryeon / 47 / occupation / the Caregiver (conscientious, warmhearted, puts other's needs above hers)

Dear Youngran,

I will ask you to call me by name again, otherwise I would have to refer to you by your proper name and title. I, unlike others I know, follow my penpal's requests when they ask me of something.

If the poem he showed you is anything to go by, I'd say that my little boy has a crush on you. Jaewang, his father, used to do the exact same thing when he wanted to impress a lady, only he played the guitar. That's how he wooed me - singing about love while playing the guitar. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Hyunsoo has good taste. Try not to break his heart too badly.

I'm really thankful that you managed to sneak that poem, but I agree, if it hurts Hyunsoo we shouldn't do that again. He writes so beautifully, I didn't know he was capable of something like that. The way he describes things... His mind truly is unique.

I wonder if maybe you can convince him to stay over for the entire summer this time? I know staying in the house with us makes him uncomfortable, but maybe this time he'll stay that one extra week? It's just a week for him, but Jaewang and I only get to see him for these two months. I know that he doesn't know how to feel about us, I know that he feels like we're not real enough to him - I know that you think that we don't know, but we do. It's clear every time he looks at us... but he's our son. He is my son, Youngran. I miss him.


  

— friend: No Yumi/ 18 / student at Ledrith Academy/ rararasputin's character!

fire hair and big shields she
shoots fire, wide-smiled
listens to him speak of stars

"Youngran-noona, remember the girl I told you about? The weird one who keeps stalking me?"

"Making conversations isn't stalking, Hyunsoo."

"Well, we ate lunch together."

"HYUNSOO!!! Oh my god Hyunsoo, you did it!! You made a friend! How did it go??"

"I told her her hair was on fire."

"HYUNSOO."

"But it was! And what if it really was on fire? But she took it really well. Asked a million different questions about my illusions. She said I couldn't show her because she won't be able to see, but she'd be happy enough if I just told her. So we spent a few hours talking."

"What did you talk about?"

"Mostly about what I was seeing. She was on fire, but the fire did not burn her. It embraced her like an old friend, a shield of orange hair and rays of scarlet sunset across a black starry night. Sparks covered her cheeks like freckles, and everywhere she looked, her gaze healed and grew trees and flowers and life. The wind played with her hair, and the flames grew brighter, more reckless and dangerous. She smiled, and all around her orange whisps danced - she told me her favorite color is orange, I think that's where it came from."

"... And how did she react?"

"She smiled, again. Wide and wild. The stars sang with praise of her beauty."

"Aww, you think she's pretty?"

"What. No, I didn't say that."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"You just said, 'the stars sang with praise of her beauty'."

"Yes, Youngran-noona. The stars."


  

— friend : Miyuki Rantaro/ 19/ student at Ledrith Academy

boy who ran through time itself
came back to tell us
how the world keeps on living

"So today during lunch, one of the guys from class walked by us, stopped and told me that the sandwich I bought has mushrooms in it. Yumi almost flung the poor bread to the other side of the courtyard. And I guess he's my savior and we're eating lunch with us now."

"That... escalated quickly."

"We have a thing with mushrooms. Rantaro saved me from, as Yumi put it, 'impending doom', so he's earned a seat. Plus, he usually just hangs around by himself, and Yumi collects outcasts like strays. He's pretty cool. I talked to him a few times before, but he was really chill when he hung with us. He's also weird. I liked it."

"Woah! Look at you making friends! Aww I'm so proud!"

"Youngran-Noona..."

"This is great progress! You should invite him to hang out with you again! Maybe on Thursday, around twelve thirty during. You can sit in the backyard where Yumi always smokes and thinks no one notices!"

"...That is awfully specific of you."

"... Okay so maybe Rantaro told me about it a few hours ago. He wanted to tell you that he accepts your invitation! See? Making friends isn't as hard as it seems. You have no excuses now Hyunsoo, and I want to hear all about this in our next session. You're trapped now!"

  

— friend : Wang Seolhyun/ 18/ student at Ledrith Academy

must be hard to be the one
keeper of secrets
and hearts and souls and keys and

"Rantaro brought a fourth year to sit with us today."

"Oooh, is the Outcast Trinity becoming the Outcast Quartet?"

"No? Yes? ... I don't know. I don't think Yumi likes her very much."

"Well, do you like her? You don't have to have the same friends Yumi does. You can have more people to hang out with. Does she seem nice?"

"Um, yeah. Yeah I think she's nice. She told me that I don't have to explain anything to her, that she'll figure it out on her own. I don't think she will, but it's nice that she tries. She's also a like Yumi, so maybe they have this rivalry between them? Like those people who are way too similar but don't realize it?"

"Could very well be. Or could be that Yumi has her own reasons. You seem to have a type - chill, laidback guys and strong-willed, confident women. I approve."

"Noona, was that your way of complimenting yourself?"

"Shut up shrimp, have some respect for your strong-willed, confident noona."

"How am I a shrimp, I'm taller than you."

"That's it, no more candy for you."

"NOONA!"

   WITH GREAT POWER...  
 Comes great responsibility.   

PLOTLINE: Illusionist

BACKUP: Empathy

CODE: red, like a monkey's

TYPE: limited

THE ABILITY:

Hyunsoo's power is the ability to create illusions: to make people believe in things that aren't real. In a way, he controls the senses to create a picture that seems real. Though it doesn't have to be a realistic painting that his mind paints: he can create a realistic scene that will unfold in front of you, but he can also create illusions that are straight out of a fantasy/scifi movie.

The way it goes is: if Hyunsoo can imagine it, he can create an illusion of it. Because his power manifested when he was a child, when there is no such thing as a rational brain limiting your possibilities, Hyunsoo's imagination is his greatest weapon. He doesn't understand how he does it either, he just... does it. Be it muscle memory or something sub-conscious, but he controls it like he controls his own breath. And just like with breathing, there are times when he can will himself to create an illusion, while other (most) times it just something that he lives with.

It's easier for him to control the illusions he casts on other people to see since he was taught how to do that while the illusions his minds projects on him were neglected during his training.  It's easier for him to create an illusion for a single person or a small number of people - the larger the number of people he has to put under his illusion, the harder it will be for him and the more his life force will be affected. 

But a large part of Hyunsoo's powers is not the illusions he casts on other, but the illusions that he himself experiences. That part of his power has been neglected compared to the training he received on casting illusions on others, and so Hyunsoo has never learned how to properly control the illusions that his powers project for him.  These illusions are as natural for him as breathing, and just like breathing he can't turn them off. The way he sees the world is different from other people, simply because he has never seen the real world.

In his world, there have been skies that were painted in oils, and his imaginary friends have all been real.  When his powers first manifested, Hyunsoo didn't know that this was not how the real world was. As a child, he believed in everything that he imagined, so his fairy friends and all the adventures he went on seemed normal to him. As he grew up, he slowly realized that the actual world isn't like that, but the realization hasn't weakened his powers. He still sees things that shouldn't be there, people who shouldn't be there. He experiences situations that have happened before, and he imagines things that he thinks will happen in the future.

What makes Hyunsoo's illusions seem so real, be it the most realistic of illusions or something straight out of Salvator Dali's painting, is that all of the senses are affected by it. You don't only see the illusion, you hear it, smell it, feel it. Some people in the government and the academy theorize that his powers affect the brain of a person (hence why there is no need for him to have contact of any source, and why Hyunsoo's brain - the only one with the constant contact - is affected the most), though they don't know exactly how it works.

Hyunsoo's ability to control his powers highly depends on his emotions, especially when it comes to the illusions he himself experiences. It's not as bad when he casts illusions on others simply for the practice and training he's received, but the more calm and stable he is, the easier it will be to cast an illusion, and the easier it will be to create more complex illusions. But he barely has any control over the illusions he sees to begin with, and being emotional doesn't help. He is a confused, awkward teenager with his hormones running rampant, and his powers comply to his every whim, even if Hyunsoo... doesn't always appreciate it. Usually, when you experience an embarrassing situation, you think about it when you go home, maybe imagine how thing would go differently. Hyunsoo sees all of it. The illusion complies to him, he wants to change the situation and so the illusion does it for it: creates the situation, and Hyunsoo lives it. And it's perfect this time, he's the big hero and he has never embarrassed himself in the first place. If Hyunsoo has a crush on a girl, but is too chicken to ask her out, the illusion complies. Alone, in his room, he goes on a date with her and it's perfect. And when Youngran-ssaem's blouse shows an accidental cleavage and Hyunsoo's  mind runs a little wild... well. Things can get awkward. Most of the time he's the only one who sees the illusions of his head, but there have been a few instances when they were projected to an innocent bystander. Awkwardness aside, it can get addictive - fixing your life in your head, living various different lives to the point of not even knowing which one is real and which one isn't. What is real and what is an illusion? Hyunsoo doesn't know the answer to that.

STRENGTHS:

The obvious advantage of Hyunsoo's powers is his ability to influence other people, make them see whatever he wants to see. The Academy (and the government) were always interested in that part of his ability, and nurtured it to their satisfaction. He has fairly good control over the illusions he casts on others, but the more people he projects his illusions onto the harder it will be to control.

The only limit to an illusion is Hyunsoo's own imagination, which means that if Hyunsoo can imagine it, he can make an illusion of it. He can make you believe that a sea monster is chasing after you, but perhaps even more important to the government, he can make people believed that they talked to someone they have never before. He can make people see the people that they trust, he can make them believe that their loved ones are being killed in front of their eyes.


WEAKNESSES:

While Hyunsoo can create an illusion out of everything he can imagine, there are obvious setbacks to this. His imagination will work if you want something surrealistic created, but he won't be able to show you a person that you have seen and he hasn't. He can't make you hear their voice if he has never heard it before. He affects your mind, but he can't read it. He won't be able to create a believable illusion if he doesn't know the details that go into that illusion.

Another thing is that Hyunsoo can't create things he can't imagine. His illusions affect the senses, but he can't make you see new colors, smell new smells. The illusions he creates depend on his own senses, and while he can imagine how a weird new creature might look, if you touch it its fur would still feel like a dog. He can imagine a place where the skies are pink and the sea is orange, but the breeze would still smell salty and the sand under your feet would still feel like sand.

The main weakness, perhaps the most obvious one, is that Hyunsoo doesn't know what the real world is. His powers manifested long, long go, and ever since he hasn't been able to tell what is real and what isn't. He doesn't see the world the way others do, and so it is very hard to create something that will be believable to the average person. Hyunsoo has pieced together what the real world is supposed to look like from observations, as well as book/movies/other people, but he can never be sure if he's doing it right. And if you can tell that something is not real, you can tell that you're under an illusion and adapt accordingly.

The longer Hyunsoo sustains an illusion, and the more people he does it on, the harder it will be to keep the illusion. The longer he has ever kept an illusion on a different person is a little over four hours, and it has rendered him useless and stuck to a bed in the hospital wing for a week.

Hyunsoo's lack of control over the illusions that he sees is a huge weakness on its own. He doesn't know a life without illusions, and while he doesn't think it's necessarily good or bad ("how can I say for sure? I've never had anything else"), the fact that his inward illusion training has been neglected in favor of focusing on his ability to cast illusions on others has caused him a lot of damage. He can never be a normal teenage boy, because he's never seen the world the way a normal boy has. It makes it hard to integrate into society, even a society with other people with abilities. Hyunsoo can't tell whether something is real or not - there were times when he thought he was speaking with a real person when it was an illusion, and vice versa. He doesn't trust his own senses, and so he always doubts everything that is going with him. Over the years he has learned to accept this fate, and he's a lot more casual about it now. But it's still damaging, and could've been prevented if more training has been focused on stabilizing this side of his powers.

OTHER TALENTS:

Basic Strength - Hyunsoo works out, but it's mostly because he thinks muscles are cool and wants to impress people. In a physical situation, he would be able to run and maybe fight (he has been excused from martial arts classes after a rather unfortunate incident when he broke the teacher's teeth with a punch after seeing an illusion that the exercise has begun and the teacher was going to deflect his fist), but it's nothing too impressive.

Writing - creativity and imagination have always been a big part in Hyunsoo's life, and it was natural that at some point he picked up a pen and started writing. It was great at first (there were some gary stus and mary sues involved), but eventually he developed a very aesthetic and poetic style of writing. He uses a lot of beautiful words in his writing, and often writes about philosophical questions that plague his mind. He mostly writes poems and other short pieces, but his dream is to write a book someday. Writing is also a coping mechanism for him, a way to put all the oddities that he experiences on paper. On paper, pink skies, dragons, and velvet seas are normal. When it's written, no one looks at him weirdly because it's beautiful. He feels kind of normal when he's writing, like he's a part of the real world too.

MENTAL HEALTH:

It's safe to say that Hyunsoo is not stable at all. There isn't a specific mental disability that Hyunsoo experiences, rather than the fact that he cannot distinguish the real world from the one that he experiences. He has a lot of trust issues because of it, and the feeling of being an outcast follows him wherever he goes. He can't explain properly to people what he's seeing unless he shows them through an illusion. All of his memories have big question marks on them because he can't tell which ones are real and which ones are just illusions. He doesn't even know if the memories he has of his parents are just something that he's imagined. Nothing is real, but everything feels real. Hyunsoo has grown accustomed to it, but even now he still doesn't quite know how to live like that.

PHYSICAL HEALTH: Physically, Hyunsoo is a healthy lanky teenage boy who's trying very hard to gain some muscles to not be so lanky anymore.

DORM:

Hyunsoo's dorm, aside from being very messy, doesn't look much different than the standard dorm bedroom assigned when you first get a dorm. There are some posters that he has collected from various magazines stuck to the walls, and usually the closet is opened and there are a lot of jeans and shirts scattered all over the floor and furniture.

He has a shelf with a few books (mostly gifted to him by Youngran), and his desk is occupied by his laptop and various notebooks/journals where he does homework, and more importantly where he writes. He writes both in his laptop and his journals, since both medias provide different satisfactions and outlets. Some of his poems are hung up on the walls, but most are hidden away from prying eyes.

Overall, because of the size provided by the academy and Hyunsoo's lack of decorating, the room looks too big for him, and awfully messy.

DAILY LIFE:

Hyunsoo usually wakes on time, one hour before class begins, before hurriedly dressing up and rushing to the cafeteria to grab a quick breakfast to eat. Sometimes he thinks that he already ate when in fact it was an illusion induced by his hunger, so he has learned to have a snack in his backpack in case of emergencies like that.

He tries to listen in class, but it can't always be helped, just like he tries to get to classes on time (sometimes he's an hour early, sometimes he's a few hours late). If Yumi or Ran are with him, it's easier, but they're not always there to help him, and he has long since gave up on having a normal academic life.

Before, he usually ate lunch by himself or forgot about it, but now someone from the Outcast Quartet will be there with him (he gained a few much-needed pounds during the year of their friendship), and usually they have dinner together too.

Hyunsoo writes, every day, whenever he gets inspiration for it. He carries a notebook on him all the time, and the moment he's hit with inspiration, the notebook is out and he's scribbling in it. 

During free periods and classless days, Hyunsoo is most likely either hanging out at his room by himself, or (more often now) gets dragged by Yumi to do stuff. Sometimes Ran and Seolhyun join them.

He has sessions with Youngran at least two times a week, sometimes even more if he feels like he needs it.


  

 Nothing better than listening to a lie...   
 When you already know the Truth.                         

Hyunsoo, after having waited in a long line for a little under an hour, is finally led into a dimly lit room, a dog made of flowers lying in the back, tail waggling lazily in greeting. Red curtains swirl on the wall, and Hyunsoo can't help thinking that it's awfully dumb to put curtains if there is nothing to put them over. There is a bang behind him - the door slamming shut, and then he sees Youngran, sitting by the desk. But it's not really Youngran, he thinks. This Youngran has purple hair and he has seen Youngran just yesterday. She had black hair. Bleaching like that, it would take a few good sessions. He knows. Yumi told him all about it. And then, there is a man in front of him.

His face is obscured by a mask so dark it the light of the dimly-lit room right in. God damn it, of course he would have an illusion like that now. Of course. He seems familiar, the man, but Hyunsoo can't be sure because of that ing mask. Well, he can't really ask him who he is - that would be a great first impression at the start of this interview. He's just going to have to wing it. Great. Just great.

The interviewer might be smiling under his mask. Or frowning. Who knows? The man is sitting behind a large desk, holding a pen with a black clipboard in his hands. Youngran rolls her eyes and mutters something that sounds awfully like "drama queen". The masked man's face turns towards where Hyunsoo is looking. He probably can't see anything. Hyunsoo laughs awkwardly and rubs at the back of his head, sitting down.The man seems amused, judging by his body language. The man then leans back into his chair, with a soft squeak. The dog in the far back lets out a soft, playful whine.

"Shall we begin?"

Hyunsoo still isn't quite sure why Ledrith is holding an Interview for the students in the first place - it can't be about his graduation status, because there were so many other students outside too. The dimly lit room, the burly-looking bodyguard outside the door... if he is real, who were they trying to intimidate, and why? Oh man, if the bodyguard really was real, Yumi is going to get a real kick out of this one.

Please Introduce yourself... and whatever else you feel like adding about yourself. Be as brief, or as long as you would like.

"Um, how do these things usually go? Kang Hyunsoo, nineteen years old. Illusionist. Red Code."

What are you opinions about Ledrith Academy AS A WHOLE? Like how things are set up are separated. Do you think it's Good, Bad... maybe you don't care at all, and just want this interview to end as fast as possible. I wouldn't blame you.

He laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Sorry, am I that obvious?"

Youngran snorts, and he  send her a glare, unimpressed. Again, the masked man turns towards the place that is probably empty space to him, and Youngran smiles apologetically. At least his illusion knows it's ing him over.

"I think I would've liked things to be less separated." He says quickly. "I mean, some of it isn't exactly fair to the lower code students. My best - eh my friend, she really hates this system. But I do get why the system is in place. Some of the powers can be dangerous, and you can't really have them running around, can you? That wouldn't be fair either. But that's just a black hole of a statement. This isn't fair, and that isn't fair. So which one is less fair? There isn't really an answer there. So while I think there should be changes, I don't know what they should be. Honestly, I'm not really the guy you should be asking this."

How ABOUT YOUR CLASSES, YOUR TEACHERS, AND YOUR CLASSMATES. How do you feel about them?

"Yeah... I'm not really the guy you should be asking this, either." He says apologetically. "Illusionist, remember? Classes have never really been my thing. Truth be told, I don't know the teachers enough to have a proper opinion on them either. Like yeah, Hyojung-ssaem and Taehwan-ssaem are always on my , but I'm not exactly a stellar student. So I get it. And my classmates... I don't know them enough either. No Yumi and Ran- eh Miyuki Rantaro, they're cool. So is Wang Seolhyun from Grade 4. Oh! Youngran-noona is great!"

Youngran snorts again, this time louder. Her lips stretch into a wide smile. For a moment, the dimly-lit room is a bit brighter.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, OR ACCOMPLISH AFTER YOUR GRADUATE FROM LEDRITH? THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS YOU CAN TAKE. 

Oh boy, that question. "Um,  honestly, I don't really know. What even can I do? I mean, it's not like I'm fit to live in society, with my powers and all. I'm pretty sure I'd make a terrible teacher, and I doubt anyone would want me as their employee. I mean, who would want an employee that can't even tell what's real and what's not? Being stable enough to live in society is the dream, you know. It's not very realistic of me, but man, that would be... Realistically speaking, publishing a book would be great though. Yeah, publishing a book. I can do that. And getting better, always. As better as I can."

NOW ABOUT YOUR ABILITY. Tell me about it. How do you feel about being one of the magically gifted? 

These questions just keep getting better and better. From the corner of his eyes, Hyunsoo can see that Youngran's smile has turned apologetic. "Well, um, I'm an illusionist. Code Red. That should tell you about everything, right?" He says uncomfortably, trying his best to ignore the flower dog and the distracting mask. "It's not exactly a secret that I'm not really... well, stable. It's not always easy, but it's also not always hard. I could sit here and talk about how bad my life has been. But in reality, I don't know anything else. This isn't good or bad, it just is. Sometimes I see some really ty stuff - oh, sorry for my language. Sometimes I see some really beautiful things, things that no one else could ever see. I have seen pink oceans and green skies, and I have tasted flowers made of cotton candy and sand made of sugar. I've fought dragons in my head, and went on adventures with dwarves and elves. I've seen creatures that I can't even begin to describe to you. It's all very awfully poetic. I have witnessed beauty, and for that I need to pay the price. An artist's life is to embrace the burden of his pain, you know. I can't tell you that I wouldn't have loved to be stable enough to not be afraid to live in society, and not being afraid of not knowing what's real - hell, who knows if you really asked me that question or if it's just another episode. You get my point though. Some things are good, some things are bad. It's all grey. There is just is."

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE HERE? AT LEDRITH? Be honest, or you could lie. You won't be hurting my feelings. 

"Is there even a point in lying?" He asks, and Youngran shakes her head and winks. The masked man remains stoic, but Hyunsoo hasn't expected him to answer the question anyway. "Yeah, I think I do. Want to be here, that is. I don't know where I would've been without Ledrith. Nowhere good, I guess. Youngran-noona... she saved me." He doesn't look at the purple-haired Youngran. "I was in a really bad place, and I still am, but without her... Yeah, I really don't want to talk about it, if it's cool. You can probably read it in the file if you're curious. But yeah, I'm glad I'm here. I have friends, just a few but it's not something that I thought I'll ever have. I'm better. I'm glad I'm here."

That should be all. Unless you have anything else to say to me, the doors are right behind you. 

For a moment, Hyunsoo contemplates confessing about the entire mask thing, but a glance towards Youngran (playful as ever, but also with a hint of warning) convinces him to just keep his mouth shut. He's so close to freedom, it would be dumb to embarrass himself now. He already said too many things, more than he usually would've. That mask was damn deceptive, and Youngran being there didn't help. It almost felt like one of their sessions. Almost. "No , no. I'm good. Um, thanks? Have a good day!"

HAVE A NICE DAY!