A/N: Sorry in advance to all the Baekyeol shippers. And this is basically like a filler chapter OTL

 

"So tell me something, Byun," Jongdae suddenly says one day when they are, as usual, watching TV on their couch.

 

Baekhyun doesn't like Jongdae's tone, but nonetheless, he mumbles out a small "What?"

 

"So are you going to start embracing your gay side again now?"

 

"If by that you mean am I going to start dating or having with males again, then yeah. I guess."

 

"Why the sudden change of mind?"

 

Baekhyun sighs. "I don't know. Lately, I just don't care anymore."

 

--

 

Baekhyun sighs as he rests his head on top of the cashier counter.

 

Jongin and Sehun eye him warily before ignoring him and getting back to rearranging all the books.

 

Baekhyun sighs again.

 

Sehun drops a book. Jongin pats his shoulder comfortingly and hands him back the book.

 

Another sigh.

 

Sehun tightens his grip on the book until his knuckles turn white. Jongin gives Baekhyun a judging look.

 

Baekhyun turns his head over to the other side. He opens his mouth--

 

"If you sigh again, I will shove this hardcover book down your throat."

 

Baekhyun sits up and glares at Sehun. "Is that really how you talk to your elders, you brat?"

 

"If the elder in question acts like a love-struck pathetic pre-teen girl, then yes," Sehun shoots back.

 

"Though I think he acts more like an aging single mother sorting out the bills," Jongin adds in helpfully.

 

Baekhyun gives Jongin a betrayed look. "I trusted you," he whines. "You traitor."

 

Jongin grins at him sheepishly before going back to his work.

 

Sehun takes a seat on a nearby stool and yawns. "I can't do this anymore," he mutters.

 

Baekhyun scoffs. Sehun says that everyday (or night, since they always work the late shift), and the only one who does all the actual work is Jongin. And then he yawns too.

 

Jongin shakes his head at the both of them. "Both of you are hopeless," he mutters.

 

Baekhyun opens his mouth to reply when the shop door opens and Chanyeol comes in with a girl in tow. Baekhyun finds it weird because Chanyeol usually brings his conquests home or just go their houses. He never brings them to other places. He frowns when he sees that Chanyeol's hand is holding onto hers gently, almost as if he's--

 

"Hey, Baek."

 

Baekhyun blinks and looks at Chanyeol who's already standing in front of him, grinning widely. He's still holding the girl's hand.

 

Baekhyun smiles back with ease. "Hey," he says lightly. "Didn't expect to see you here, and with a pretty lady at that," he gives the girl a wink.

 

The girl blushes and giggles, and Baekhyun feels a strong pang of something he'd rather not name when Chanyeol gives her an adoring look. Baekhyun clenches his knuckles and continues smiling. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Jongin gesturing rather excitedly about the girl to Sehun who ignores him in favor of playing with his phone. The fact that Baekhyun didn't even notice her figure probably says something about how far he's fallen for his stupid, idiotic best friend.

 

"Oh, yeah. We're actually on a date right now, and I thought I'd pay the single bachelor a visit," Chanyeol chuckles.

 

Baekhyun scoffs. "Way to rub it in. Now go off," he makes a dismissive gesture with his hand, "how could you make your lovely date stand around in a dingy book store?"

 

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. "Fine, fine. Come on," he says to the girl and she bows down to the three of them before walking out of the store, both of them hand-in-hand. Baekhyun keeps his smile in place and waves at them from the window of the shop.

 

Once he's sure they're gone, Baekhyun drops the smile and walks over to Jongin who already has his arms open and he wraps his arms around Jongin's waist and rests his head on his shoulder, feeling Jongin's arms wrap around him. He sighs.

 

Jongin chuckles. "Ever considered becoming an actor?"

 

Baekhyun snorts before sighing again. "I need to get laid," he mumbles against Jongin's shoulder, causing him to chuckle again, patting Baekhyun's back.

 

Sehun looks up from his phone and frowns at them. "And how the hell did this happen?"

 

--

 

It wasn't his fault.

 

He was just minding his own business, walking home from the library after a late-night studying session when a stupid drunk picked a fight with him. And Baekhyun wasn't exactly in the best of moods (he hasn't been since the bookstore incident), so he punched him.

 

And now, three hours later, with Jongdae pressing an ice pack against his swollen cheek, his body hurting all over, Baekhyun still believes that it wasn't his fault. The police can go and themselves.

 

"You're lucky I was around," Jongdae mutters. "At least I managed to convince the officer that you only did it out of self-defence and didn't want to make a report. You idiot." He presses the pack against Baekhyun's cheek unnecessarily hard, causing Baekhyun to wince in pain.

 

"Still wasn't my fault," Baekhyun mumbles stubbornly.

 

Suddenly, there's a knock on their front door and Jongdae gets up from the couch to open it, bringing the ice pack with him. He sighs when he sees who it is and opens the door to let a concerned-looking Chanyeol in. Jongdae throws the ice pack at him, and muttering something along the lines of "I wash my hands of him", walks to his room and slams the door shut.

 

Baekhyun waves lazily at Chanyeol as he comes in, looking confused. It's adorable, really, because he has his large glasses on and his hair's not styled so it's sticking up in all directions and he's wearing his ugly green jacket that Baekhyun thought he threw out years ago. He looks like he used to when they were in their final year of high school, studying together at each other's houses until early in the morning with just two hours left before school starts because they could not  up the entrance exam.

 

Chanyeol sets down his bag by the couch and takes his place beside Baekhyun. "You hit a drunken man?" he asks as his eyes scan over Baekhyun's face.

 

"No, I was defending myself from his idiocy."

 

Chanyeol sighs and turns Baekhyun's face toward him by his chin. "You look like ," he frowns and gently pokes Baekhyun's cheek with the ice pack.

 

"You should've seen the other guy, then."

 

"I'm serious, Baekhyun."

 

"Me too. I'm always serious with stuff that matter. You're the one who won't take me seriously."

 

Baekhyun's not sure if he's talking about the drunken man anymore or something else entirely and why he suddenly feels so--

 

Chanyeol clears his throat and looks away.

 

Baekhyun takes Chanyeol's hand and grips it lightly. "You know," he mutters, "I have no idea what you want sometimes."

 

Chanyeol faces him and returns the grip. "I could say the same thing about you," he says, voice low. "You're confusing as hell."

 

Baekhyun swallows the lump in his throat. "Tell me what you want," he breathes out.

 

Chanyeol stares at him, eyes wide. 

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun tightens his grip. "Tell me what you want," he says, almost pleading.

 

Chanyeol, looking lost as ever, releases Baekhyun's hand and says, "I don't know."

 

Baekhyun sighs, suddenly feeling very tired.

 

He's so ing tired.

 

--

 

"You're right. You do need to get laid," Jongdae says decisively a week and a half later. "All this obsession over Park isn't healthy."

 

Baekhyun snorts. "And how do you propose I do that?"

 

Jongdae grins conspiratorially. "Well, seeing as it's Friday night and all," he leans in, "we're going clubbing."

 

--

 

Baekhyun looks around at the crowd of dancing people uncertainly from the bar and mutters a curse under his breath.

 

He can't do this. It's been ages since he actively seeked out a partner, and now it feels like the first time again. Even though the main point of it was to get himself laid, he couldn't just go to a random girl or guy and say get on your knees.

 

Goddammit, he even dressed up for this .

 

Jongdae pats his shoulder. "Go wild," he says loudly to get himself heard over the deafening ty club music playing. "Oh, and don't worry, the owner's a gay guy, so this club's gay friendly. You can screw all the gay guys that you want!" Jongdae practically announces to the whole club and Baekhyun facepalms in embarrassment when this earns interest from a few decidedly not-so-heteroual men. One of them is even winking at him.

 

Jongdae cackles and slithers away with a self-satisfied smile on his face.

 

He downs his glass of beer in one go. "One more," he mutters to the bartender who gives him a pitying smile.

 

"What the ," he suddenly hears someone behind him say. Frowning, he turns around and--

 

"Lu Han?"

 

His ex-boyfriend gives him a wry smile. "Hey."

 

--

 

They stand outside the club, wrapped up in their own coats, and talk.

 

"I didn't expect to see you here," Baekhyun says as he stares at Lu Han. "I thought you hated clubs. Said it was a breeding place for STD's and the number one cause for teen pregnancy."

 

Lu Han shrugs. "I wanted to get a drink after meeting a client, and this was the only place around."

 

"Huh," Baekhyun says and they stay silent for a while. "Oh, so you're already working?"

 

"Yeah," Lu Han gestures to his office attire underneath his coat. "Obviously. What, you think I'm not smart enough to graduate? Stupid kid."

 

Baekhyun chuckles. If there's one thing he misses about Lu Han, it's his contradictory face and actual personality. It's endearing because he only acts like an with people he's comfortable with. "This kid," he grins at Lu Han, "is already twenty-one years old, in case old age is affecting your memory."

 

Lu Han scoffs and flicks his forehead. "An increase in age obviously didn't improve your manners, you brat. And I'm only two years older than you."

 

Baekhyun puts a hand on his forehead and pouts exaggeratedly. "That hurt, Lu. Kiss it better?" He bats his eyelashes in a manner that he knows always annoys Lu Han. And it works, because Lu Han grabs both of his cheeks and pinches them really hard until Baekhyun is slapping his hands and laughing with joy while tears pool at his eyes from pain (because it really actually hurt, dammit the swelling just stopped a few days ago) at the same time. It's confusing.

 

Lu Han releases his cheeks and lets out a chuckle of his own, shaking his head. "Anyway, what about you?"

 

"Hmm?" Baekhyun rubs his bruised cheeks. "Oh, I'm trying to get over someone healthily so I came here to get laid." Baekhyun doesn't bother to hide anything from Lu Han, because he knows that Lu Han would take anything coming from him in stride.

 

Lu Han quirks a brow. "You got rejected?"

 

Baekhyun smiles wistfully. "Might as well be."

 

Lu Han tilts his head to the side, assessing Baekhyun. Baekhyun lets it be because it's Lu Han so it doesn't matter. And Lu Han knows him like the back of his hand.

 

"He hurt you," Lu Han finally says. "Your sidekick."

 

Baekhyun chuckles. "How do you know it's him?"

 

"Because," Lu Han leans in and presses his forehead against Baekhyun's, his hand cupping his cheek, "it's always been him, hasn't it?"

 

Baekhyun lets the words sink in and finally lets out a choked laugh.

 

Because he's right. Right from the beginning, it's always been Chanyeol. All this time. And Baekhyun realizes that he's build his world around Chanyeol for so long, and he can't even imagine a life without having him in the middle of it.

 

"I'm so ing screwed," he finally says, and Lu Han thumbs away tears that he didn't realize he shed.

 

Lu Han kisses his cheek. "Want me to help?"

 

Baekhyun pulls him in by the collar.

 

"Make me forget."

 

--

 

Once they step inside Lu Han's studio apartment, Lu Han presses him against the door and kisses him until they're both breathless. Baekhyun runs his hands over Lu Han's face, feeling his every feature, relearning all the contours and wrinkles, and he kisses the scar on Lu Han's upper lip, the wrinkles on the edge of his eyes, all the imperfections on his face because it's so familiar and it's Lu Han and he presses his lips to Lu Han's once more.

 

"I really did miss you," he says against Lu Han's lips and Lu Han doesn't say anything but he kisses Baekhyun harder and Baekhyun accepts that as I missed you too. He tangles his fingers in Lu Han's hair and Lu Han places a knee between his leg and Baekhyun shudders, pulling Lu Han impossibly closer.

 

They somehow make it to the bed, landing in a tangled mess of limbs and they undress each other, kissing on exposed skin, nipping and and running revering hands over each other and later, when Lu Han enters him and makes love to him until he's and screaming Lu Han's name, Baekhyun doesn't think of Chanyeol once.

 

--

 

Baekhyun throws an arm over his face, panting and trying to catch his breath, his chest moving up and down rapidly.

 

Lu Han places an arm around his waist, lying on his side and facing Baekhyun. "Now that we've got all those emotions out of the way, up for round two?"

 

Baekhyun laughs breathlessly and kisses Lu Han.

 

--

 

"So how have you been doing lately?" Baekhyun asks as they lay in bed, head resting on Lu Han's chest and fingertips tracing nonsensical patterns down his torso. He remembers doing this often last time when they were together. They didn't really talk much about their feelings, so one of the only times they could have an honest talk were after because both of them were too tired and satisfied to care. And they had . A lot.

 

"Like ," Lu Han grumbles. "I have to spend every single day smiling like an idiot at clients and acting unoffended when the female colleagues go oh Lu Han you're so pretty! and I have to tolerate all the guys calling me the resident Flower Boy." He sighs. "The amount of people I want to punch every day but can't is alarming. Not to mention frustrating."

 

"I feel sorry for your man-pride," Baekhyun pats his chest. "But you can't deny the fact that you're pretty," he snickers, "like the Chinese you are."

 

Lu Han flicks his forehead. "See if I ever have with you again, you ing brat."

 

"That's why they call it a one-night stand, Lu."

 

--

 

Baekhyun ends up staying over at Lu Han's for the whole weekend at Lu Han's suggestion, claiming that he 'needed a break'.

 

He gets by by borrowing Lu Han's clothes, and they spend most of their time indoor anyway. He called an alarmed Jongdae, reassuring him that he's safe, and then he called in sick from his job at the bookstore. They spend the whole weekend talking and catching up and then they always end up having . Baekhyun tells Lu Han everything, and on the final day, Lu Han, claiming it to be his goodbye present, makes love to him so hard that Baekhyun could barely walk by the time they finish.

 

Later, as Baekhyun, fresh from shower, dresses himself in the clothes he wore on the first night, he feels feels arms wrap around his waist and he smiles and leans back into Lu Han.

 

"At least let me put on my shirt first, Lu Han."

 

Lu Han nuzzles his head into the crook of Baekhyun's neck and mumbles something incoherent. And then he says, "Nope. I'm fine with this," before kissing Baekhyun's neck. He starts swaying the both of them from side-to-side and Baekhyun lets him.

 

Suddenly, Lu Han stops. "This is just a one-time thing, right? Because as much as I love you, there's a reason why we broke up."

 

Baekhyun chuckles. "Yes, Lu Han. This time, I literally came to you for your ual prowess. Happy?"

 

"Did it help any?"

 

Baekhyun contemplates for a moment. "Well, I think you ed all the fatigue out of me."

 

Lu Han kisses his shoulder. "Good. So now that you've got your head screwed on right, don't make anymore stupid decisions. Like rejecting the love of your life or something."

 

"Real funny, Lu Han." He shouldn't have told Lu Han. He's almost as bad as Jongdae.

 

--

 

"Is it weird that I still call all the we did this weekend making love?" Baekhyun asks later that evening as they climb up the stairs of Baekhyun's apartment building, Baekhyun still limping from Lu Han's 'goodbye present'.

 

"Well, you loved it, so I guess it's not that weird," Lu Han shrugs.

 

"Huh," Baekhyun says and they stay silent for the whole trip, walking slowly and hand-in-hand. When they reach his door, Baekhyun turns around to look at Lu Han. "Want to come in?"

 

"No. Unlike you students, I have work tomorrow." Lu Han makes a face.

 

Baekhyun chuckles. "Oh, the woes of a career man," he teases. He laughs when Lu Han glares at him, leaning up to peck him lightly on the lips. "You look like you're ten, Lu Han. How am I supposed to take you seriously?" He pats his cheek and turns around to unlock the door, taking out his keys from his pocket.

 

"You weren't complaining when I put my di--"

 

"Okay, it's open," Baekhyun interrupts hastily. He does not need to think about that at that moment. "See you around, Lu. Make sure to keep in contact."

 

Lu Han grins and kisses him. "Yeah, alright. And hey," he looks at Baekhyun with an honest smile, "good luck with your lover boy, you'll need it."

 

Baekhyun rubs his nose, embarrassed. He shouldn't have let Lu Han convince him to say he wouldn't give up. " Yeah, whatever. off already, would you?"

 

--

 

Baekhyun is going to kill Lu Han.

 

He's going to kill Lu Han and castrate him. Or do it the other way around, he doesn't care.

 

"I'm going to murder you and everything you love," he hisses into the phone the next morning, lying face-down on the bed. "I can't even ing walk, and when I had my shower just now, I almost fell many times because I couldn't even ing stand properly. And did I mention the bite marks?"

 

Lu Han cackles from the other side. "I told you, it's my goodbye present. And you weren't complaining yesterday."

 

"I was emotional yesterday, and it dulled the pain!"

 

"The amazing power of love, huh?" Lu Han says and he laughs again.

 

Baekhyun hangs up.

 

--

 

Baekhyun winces and tightens his grip on Jongdae's upper arm. "."

 

Jongdae sighs. "How the hell are we going to make it to class like this? We're barely halfway there and you look like you're about to give birth."

 

Baekhyun scowls and releases Jongdae's arm to hit him but instead trips and falls face-first onto the snow-covered ground.

 

"...you know what, Jongdae. I think I'm good here," Baekhyun pats the ground.

 

Jongdae sighs and helps Baekhyun up and Baekhyun leans heavily against him.

 

"One thing you need to know about gay , Jongdae: never ever bottom with a person who's good at it. Especially if they offer to use toys."

 

--

 

By the time they reach the usual crossroads, Baekhyun's only slightly limping and the pain has already dulled away into extreme soreness. Baekhyun figures he could get by.

 

Jongdae looks at him with an almost-concern on his face. "You'll be alright, then?"

 

Baekhyun waves him off. "I'll be fine. I've been through worst. Now scoot."

 

Jongdae stares at him for a moment more before nodding and walking off.

 

Baekhyun sighs, feeling warm despite the fact that it's winter. Jongdae looks almost human when he's worried.

 

With a shake of his head, Baekhyun snaps out of his trance and walks in the direction of his own class.

 

--

 

Later, at noon, Chanyeol corners him after lunch and haltingly says that they need to talk.

 

Baekhyun, with heart in his mouth, follows Chanyeol as they walk to the back of the building. He casually sips from his canned drink to calm his nerves. Once they arrive, Chanyeol stops walking and turns around to look at Baekhyun.

 

"I want to go steady."

 

Baekhyun drops his canned drink.