en·vy [énvee]

n

wanting what somebody else has: the resentful or unhappy feeling of wanting somebody else's success, good fortune, qualities, or possessions

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. ENVY .
… a Kikwang x YOU/OC fanfiction

PREFACE.

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"Welcome to the wonderful word of hate."

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»» fast forward. »»

Okay, so how exactly does this whole confession stuff work? I just explain why I did it or something, or do I answer some questions?

Oh.

Well, I’d rather not answer some questions and talk until I please you guys with my story, alright?

Okay, so first off, I like to write fan fiction — this doesn’t relate to what you want? Well, if you let me start from the very beginning you can put two and two together and then figure out your little murder case, okay?

Thank you.

Okay, so as I said, I like to write fan fictions. Why? Well, personally, I think it’s because of my stupid need to want to please people just as someone else did. I like to write fan fiction. You know it?

Great. Well, I don’t do it because it’s fun. I do it because I to see praise. I want to know people love what I write, and if I see someone who wrote something with more commenters on it than me,well…I automatically hate that person. In fact, I only read stories that are ty— oh, language, sorry. I meant ‘worse’ than my stories. Why? It makes me feel better about myself.

Same goes for idols. Why do you think I never listen to girl groups? Because I hate that people love them, and I hate that they look better than me. In fact, my jealousy problem is getting so bad that I’m starting to hate the success my favourite boy bands have, despite how good they look.

So, yes, I admit it I did it. I admit I did it all.

I’m selfish, overly jealous, and, I, was in fact was the cause of that idol’s death.

So you have the right arrest to me. No questions asked, go ahed. Hand-cuff me. Ship me off to whatever jail.

I'll stay there. I swear.　

«« rewind. ««

“So, can you go?” Kikwang asked me, holding the tickets to my face. He scored BoA tickets, and was in need of someone going with him. I don’t even know why he asked me. After knowing me since middle school, he should have figured out by now that I don’t hang around with anyone in our circle of friends unless it’s during school hours.

“Sorry,” I tell him, closing my locker door. Kids chattered mindlessly as they made their way to Period 1, and a few Teachers sped walked to ensure they arrived before their class did. “I can’t.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

I blinked at him. “What did you just say?”

“I asked why not,” he repeated looking as if I were the strange one. Which, I guess I was. But he threw me off guard. Whenever I told a friend I couldn’t join them anywhere, they left the matter at that. But…he was possible one of the firsts to ask me for a reason for why I couldn’t come.

“My…parents…” I slowly said. Right. My parents. They had a strange believe that until I graduate university, I can’t have a real social life. Social lives, they told me, are for when one is an adult and can do things on their own. The sad fact is due to our religion & how religious they are, I can’t move out until I’m married. And with my looks, that didn’t look it was happening too soon. “…are really strict. They don’t let me go places.”

“Oh, strict parents? Well, just give me your number, I’ll just get my mom to talk to them,” he said, opening his bag and pulling out a pen and then ripping a page from his note book. “Go own, I haven’t got all day. Period 1 starts in one minute!”

I hurried scribbled my number on the paper. “Why do you want to come with so much?” I ask, genuinely confused.

“Well, we’re friends aren’t we?” He snorted, as if the answer was obvious. I smile at that. “Also, with your painfully plain looks, you can be a ninja and keep stalkers from this gorgeous face,” he pointed at his face. “I’m going to be an idol someday, you know that right? That‘s why I want to see as many professionals as possible before I do to get a sense of what it feels like.”

My smile falls. If he were to gain any success…and live a happy life….….then the inevitable happens.

I’ll hate him.