Home. Such a short, simple word that holds such a deep meaning. One that is different for every person out there, one that defines different things for each person. For some people it's a place, a big, warm, comfortable building that keeps people safe, offers them a bed to sleep and a place to eat as well as many other amenities sometimes. For some other people, home isn't exactly a place, but it holds a deeper meaning. It's when and where you feel safe and sound, you feel that warmth and love you feel inside a house, wherein you feel comfortable or when you get that feeling that you return to something familiar. Home for some people is another building and not the one their families live in, or some other times it's not even a building but a specific person. 

For Zoa, home has always meant her parents’ house. The one house she's grown up to, that one that's warm and filled with all of her childhood and puberty memories, that one that has her own bedroom and belongings as well her her mom's, dad's and Clara’s. Home has always meant the people they live in this house too however. Home for Zoa has meant the house that mom and dad lives in, that Clara lives in. Home meant her parents and her loveable dog. 

Lately she has been calling home her dorm, however, which has made her a little confused at times. She's asked Monday before as to why she calls home her apartment with Soeun's and the older girl has explained that since she was living there for so long and has gotten used to the place and has grown to love it a lot, it felt as warm, safe and loving as the one back at her parents. Zoa has then asked her if it was ok to have more than one homes and Monday has laughed at that before she has agreed, assuring Zoa that it was more than ok. 

Now Zoa knows that home isn't just the one back in her hometown, but it's also the dorms, just like how she loves calling her unniesas her family too, without them being her actual family —blood related. 

She just never expected to return back at her parents’ house and miss her home back at the dorms this much as she is doing right now too. 

She’s not being ungrateful though. No. If anything she’s happy to be back. Her parents have welcomed her with tight and long hugs ⏤her mother literally hugged her for almost half an hour and even when her father have finally dragged her away from her mother her mother would keep walking around, hugging her loosely, not wanting to let go fully just yet⏤ while Clara has been hopping and barking happily around her for a long time, her black eyes shining brightly out of happiness while she shook her tail left and right excitedly. Then her mother followed her to her room to help her unpack and settle her things down while her father gave her her first gift just then, saying that he missed her too much and couldn’t stop himself from spoiling her and buying her well… a couple of weeks for this Christmas holidays. 

Their reactions and warm welcoming are a little too overwhelming but Zoa understands them because she’s missed them a lot too. She really did and she really missed the warmth of her bedroom and the comfortableness she would feel there. Once her mother has left her alone to rest a little while she would be cooking lunch in the kitchen Zoa realized that she’s missed having her privacy too. The dorm room was nice, big enough to fit two people comfortably enough and living with Soojin unnie has been safe and nice but… Zoa was never really left alone ever in the room. 

She hugs Clara as she lays down on her bed, looking around at her room, realizing that she’s even missed the colors of her room, her books that she’s been reading back in here, her own PlayStation 4 and the many games she’s had as well as the couple of clothes she’s left back here or other personal belongings like the countless plushies that she couldn’t bring with her at the dorms when she’s left home back in September. 

She caresses Clara’s white, soft, slightly curly fur for a while, playing with her and giggling softly as she ends up fully lying down with Clara on top of her her face. She’s truly missed her dog, the one she’s been with for so many years. Clara is a part of their family now and Zoa truly can’t live without her. 

Her phone in her pocket buzzes and she’s a little caught off guard, not having expected a text as soon as she’s reached home ⏤actually she must be back at her parents for about an hour or two by now. 

She takes it out of her pocket and back in her hands as she settles Clara on her lap, adjusting her position in a more convenient one, her head resting on the headboard of her bed. Her phone’s screen lights up with a new incoming text and once Zoa unlocks her phone she sees that it’s Jihan who’s texting her. 

Jihan: Hey. Have you arrived home safely? 

Zoa’s face immediately lights up as she nods her head to herself before she realizes that Jihan can’t see that so she immediately types down her reply. 

Zoa: Hi! Yes, I’m back home safe and sound! What about you? 

Her phone buzzes again in milliseconds and Zoa doesn’t even get the time to set it on her nightstand, meaning that Jihan has seen her text and has replied immediately. 

Jihan: Same as well. Back home to mom and dad. They’re acting a little weird, as if they haven’t seen me in ages. Are your parents like that too? 

Zoa chuckles, realizing for the millionth time she’s made that realization to herself that Jihan is a fun person to be with and talk to even through texts. 

Zoa: Yes. Pretty much. 

She then smiles to herself as an idea crosses her mind and she immediately exits the chatting app to enter the camera app and captures a selfie of herself and Clara, smiling widely. She immediately sends it to Jihan and smiles happily at herself before she types a new text. 

Zoa: Clara missed me too. She almost cried when she first saw me and now she can’t leave my side at all.

Jihan: Aw! She’s really cute! I want to see her one day, you know. 

Zoa: I know. I hope it happens one day. Soon.

She then quickly types a new reply as she hears her mom calling her for lunch. 

Zoa: I gotta go. Mom and dad want to have lunch and ditching them on my very first day back here doesn’t seem like it’s a possibility. I’ll talk to you later!

And with that she settles her phone back down on her nightstand before she sits up, looking at Clara with a bright smile on her lips. 

“Come on! Let’s go get some lunch!” She tells her dog before she stands up, Clara following her. 

She texted Jihan that they would talk later, which was no news for any of the two of them. They texted each other a lot even when they were back at the dorms, literally living right across from each other. So it’s pretty expectable to text a lot during Christmas holidays too. Just because they are apart for now doesn’t mean they would stop texting and getting to know news about one another. And that’s what Zoa loves a lot about her bond with Jihan. That they never stop talking or texting which somehow feels like they’re always together, by each other’s side. And she really adores being by Jihan’s side. 

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Zoa has always loved the family dinner at Christmas night a little more than the lunch a couple of hours earlier. And that’s simply because one of her friends and their family is joining her and her own family too. It’s even more fun to have a friend around, someone her age to talk to and have fun. Sure, Zoa enjoys seeing her relatives at Christmas and she loves them all no matter what and she surely talks to every each one of them but it’s different to have a friend around. 

“Damn, sometimes when I’m around you at times like this I feel like you’re more socializing than I am. We literally have to wait until you have talked to all of your relatives to finally be left alone!” Monday exclaims once the two crash onto her bed. Zoa usually helps her mom with dinner but tonight her mother wanted her to have fun and rest so she’s arranged everything with her grandma’s and aunt’s help, letting Zoa have fun with Monday. 

Zoa laughs at that, humming in agreement. They sit down on her bed and Monday immediately turns on Zoa’s PlayStation, wanting to play with her friend. Clara settles herself on Zoa’s lap comfortably while Zoa keeps on typing on her phone, waiting for Monday to settle the game. 

“Who are you even texting to? It’s Christmas, don’t they like have a family to spend this day with instead of bugging you with countless of texts?” Monday grumbles a little before she leans closer to Zoa’s side to see with whom the girl is talking to. Zoa smiles before she replies to Monday ⏤though she allows the girl to look at her texts anyway, not minding at all and not feeling like she has to hide anything from her anyway,

“It’s Jihan unnie.” 

“Oh! That explains a lot. Actually, that explains everything! Why did I even bother to ask? You ALWAYS text with Jihan!” Zoa laughs a little before she furrows her eyebrows, genuinely confused now. 

“Is it bad that I do?” Monday shakes her head, though she looks at her friend with a mischievous smile on. 

“You like her, don’t you?” She asks, playfully. Zoa smiles, nodding her head, not really understanding what kind of liking Monday is talking about. 

“Yes. I do. She’s an amazing friend and an amazing person overall.” Monday smiles a little awkwardly, parting her lips about to disagree or correct her but shakes her head to herself mumbling,

“I’ll let Soojin unnie break it to you once we’re back at campus again.”

“Mmm? Did you say anything?” Zoa asks, not having heard that clearly what Monday was mumbling to herself. 

“I said, let’s play dummy!” And immediately turns to face the TV screen in front of her. Zoa giggles, taking a joystick in her hands, totally adoring how she’s able to munch lots of homemade snacks that she’s missed while she was away and play with Monday for hours, not having to care about college classes or studying. For now. 

At some point Monday’s phone starts ringing and Monday curses upon seeing Jaehee calling her exclaiming,

“I’m playing what does she want now!?” to which Zoa laughed. 

“Hey! She’s your girlfriend! Go pick it up!” She scolds her unnie as she nudges her on her shoulder. Monday groans. 

“Fine. I won’t take long, I promise!” She says as she takes the phone in her hands and exits the room to get some privacy. Zoa smiles and nods her head. She has to say that she’s used to Monday and Jaehee dating each other. Sure, things aren’t exactly how they were before the two started dating. They’re not a group of six girls that are all friends and only to each other. Now they have a couple among them too and sometimes they do act all ivory dovey to each other. But Zoa doesn’t mind because they still remain her friends no matter what. After all, it explains a lot of weird behaviors they used to have around each other at the beginning so Zoa is glad they got over that weird flirting, pushing and pulling and are just loving each other now. She likes seeing them both happy and she’s really supporting them. And as a nice friend that she is, she knows that Jaehee would be really sulky for a long time if Monday wouldn’t pick up her call so no matter how Monday isn’t the clingy type ⏤and Zoa also knows that⏤ she had to push her friend to get that call immediately in order for the couple not to argue later on. 

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Something changes during the Christmas holidays. Something changes a lot and Zoa is about to find it out soon. At first she’s not sure if it truly happens or if it’s all in her head though she’s usually sure and pretty confident in what she believes or notices as she knows her friend a lot by now and can tell the difference in a few things easily sometimes. When they first hang out at Soeun’s house one day during Christmas Holidays she’s sure she saw Soojin and Soeun acting a little too warm and close around each other, but she thought it was all in her head and assured herself that it’s fine as long as they’re not awkward and bickering with sarcastic comments to one another. 

She quickly finds out though the next time they all gather in Soojin’s house to watch Christmas movies as they always did every single year ⏤yes they’re meeting in Soojin’s house this year. 

A few hours before Zoa is about to arrive with monday on Soojin’s house, Soeun has arrived first, knocking on the girl’s door. Soojin’s parents have decided to spend their night at Soojin’s aunt and uncle’s house and leave the girls alone have fun in peace. 

“I’m coming!” Soojin says loud and clear as she rushes towards the door, not entirely sure who of all of her friends could be at this time. Usually they’re all early and no one runs late though the person that could mostly fit the arriving early image would surely be Zoa because she’s a very organizing person and likes being on time ⏤if she hasn’t overslept and doesn’t take too long to get ready.

“Soeun?” She lets out a little surprised to find Soeun standing by her door. Soeun forms a wide smile, showing her teeth and gums, her eyes half closing as her cheeks almost disappear at the thick, big scarf she’s wearing. She looks a little too adorable in her beanie, scarf and long, thick coat and gloves to keep herself warm from the cold. 

“I believe that’s my name, yeah.” She replies back and Soojin forms a deadpan expression before she laughs softly. 

“Now if you would be kind enough to let me in because it’s pretty cold outside? that would be nice of you, thank you. Well, actually you know what? It’s not pretty cold outside. It’s ugly cold because it’s just too cold and it literally has no mercy on us poor human beings!” Soeun exclaims as the end as she enters Soojin’s house, the girl having already stepped aside so she would enter her house, opening the door wider. Soojin laughs at her comment, thinking that the funny and soft towards her Soeun is her favorite. 

“How come you’re here this early?” Soojin asks her as she closes the door behind her, helping Soeun to get rid of the many clothing she’s wearing and place them all by the hanger next to the door as the house inside is warm, obviously because of the heating. 

“Dad went to work a while ago and I didn’t want to be left alone for too long before our hang out so I thought it would be better to keep an also alone friend some company.” 

“That’s… nice of you.” Soojin replies softly, takes the girl's coat from her hands and hangs it on the hanger as Soeun takes off her shoes. Soojin bites the inside of her cheek as she observes Soeun. The girl doesn't show it now as she has that soft happy smile that she gives Soojin a lot lately, but Soojin knows how hard it's been for her to live with only her dad the past few years until college came and she fully left home to live with Monday. She wants to ask about the girl's mom and if she would visit her for Christmas holidays but the last time she tried interfering to Soeun's personal life Soeun had yelled at her claiming that Soojin is trying to be a mother Teresa or something and care for everyone and find solutions for everyone and Soeun really didn't want her care then so Soojin has stopped and haven't asked again ever since. It was an intense fight, one that has remained clearly in Soojin's memory even until now and wouldn't leave her mind for a very long time, one that has made her very careful on this topic from then and on. Soeun just had a really hard time so Soojin has been waiting for the girl to approach her herself about this specific topic. 

“Don't give me that look Soojin.” Soeun says as soon as she realizes Soojin is staring at her with that mother Teresa stare she's always given her friends whenever she would care too much for them. Soojin mumbles a low apology and quickly looks away. She clears , trying to collect herself, her feelings and thoughts and find a new topic to talk about before it gets too awkward and they end up fighting about the thing she's been avoiding to fight about the most. 

“I was thinking of making some popcorn for the movie later on. Do you want-” 

“Can we just go to your room and chill for a while?” Soeun says softly, cutting Soojin off who blinks confused a few times before she nods her head, still slightly confused. 

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah sure.” She says before she follows Soeun as they enter her bedroom. They take a seat on Soojin's bed before Soeun folds her legs and looks around the girl's room with a smile on her lips. Her eyes land on Soojin before she sighs softly and says,

“Why do you always want to talk about that specific topic whenever we're alone?” Soojin flinches before she starts tangling and untangling her fingers together nervously, looking around her, not being able to face Soeun. 

“Because I care? You can't stop me from caring.” Soeun sighs. 

“It's nice to know that you do, but it's a topic that still makes me uncomfortable. What do you expect me to say about it?” Soeun says calmly, trying to truly convey some of her thoughts to Soojin in order for the older to realize. 

“I'm sorry.” Soojin apologizes as she lowers her head. Soeun leans closer, raising the girl's head with her hand holding the girl's jaw so that way Soojin wouldn't face the floor but would look at Soeun instead. 

“I didn't say this for you to apologize. Just to understand me and stop asking about it. I promise you I'll talk to you about it once I'm ready. You'll be the first to know.” Soojin nods her head slowly before she moves the girl's hand away, trying to put some space between them.

“Do you really think I'm doing this because I'm this group's mother Teresa?” Soeun shrugs. 

“Doesn't every group have one?” She asks back. 

“No. No they don't. And no, I'm not the mother Teresa of our friend group. So if that's the way you're envisioning my care you've got it wrong Soeun.” Soeun frowns. 

“Well, it's not exactly how I see it. It's how it is.”

“It's not.”

“Really? So what do you call your care for all of us? It's so motherly-like sometimes it makes me want to puke, unnie.” Soeun says, now sounding sarcastic as she even called Soojin an unnie, which she never does whenever the two are alone. Especially when they're alone actually. Soojin flinches. She has all the signs there. Soeun's sarcastic tone, her comments, the unnie… she can sense the fight coming but she's not sure if she can stop herself and end this discussion now. 

“Why would it make you feel that? So you don't want me to care? Friends are supposed to care for-” Soeun bites her lips as she stares at Soojin intensely, seeming a little annoyed before she finally cuts her off by saying,

“I don't want you to care about me like that. I'm not your daughter, Soojin. You can treat Zoa that was because she's younger, you can treat Jaehee that way because she's so disorganized, you can treat Jihan that way because she's adorable and likes hearing you out though she's clumsy, you can treat Monday that way because she just badly needs a mom to tell her what to do but not to me. Especially not to me, when you know what I'm going through. This is just so wrong in any way I'm trying to think of it.” Soeun says, staring intensely and seriously at Soojin before she takes a breath. 

“I don't want you to replace my mom just because she left us. It was her choice and I don't want a second mother in my life. I don't want you to replace her just because she's irresponsible and can't do one thing right by being there for me.” 

“I'm not doing that!” Soojin clearly disagrees with Soeun. Soeun shakes her head, a bitter laughter coming out of her lips. 

“Really?” Soojin nods her head firmly. 

“This is just how I am and how I show my care to my friends!” Soeun chuckles bitterly again. 

“Then I guess I don't like it.” 

“Because it reminds you of a mother's type of care?” Soojin asks, trying to understand but Soeun shakes her head, replying loud and clear,

“Because I like you, Soojin. I'm in love with you. And the way you treat me just hurts me. It's straight up rejection! So cut it out already and just treat me like a casual friend. I like it way better than the way it is now.” 

Soojin's eyes widen as she stares at Soeun in shock, parting her lips for a couple of seconds not being able to say anything. Soeun laughs bitterly at her reaction. 

“Why is it that shocking? You've never thought about it? Never as a possibility or anything of the sort?” Soojin shakes her head. 

“Then I guess you're dumb. I don't think I've ever been subtle about it. Monday knew from the very beginning it started and I never told her face to face. She told me first and I just admitted it. Don't ask about Zoa, the girl is still clueless. But she's always been one of a kind.” 

“Soeun…”

“It's fine, unnie. Just treat me like a friend from now on, ok? I'll get over it.” Soeun says but Soojin shakes her head, holding Soeun's hands and leaning forward, pecking the girl's lips with her own and catching Soeun off guard who's eyes widen in shock. It ends as soon as it happens and Soojin looks like a blushing mess once it's over, shaking her hands and tangling her fingers nervously, not being able to face Soeun. 

“Uh… I… damn it Soeun, don't freeze up on me now. It's not the right time to act dumb you know.” She mumbles nervously. Soeun blinks hard as she places her own fingers over her lips, not believing what has just happened. 

“I must be dreaming. Yeah that has to be it.” Soeun lets out. 

“No. No you're not dreaming, idiot. But don't make me do it again, I don't think I have the courage to. It was a way too impulsive move from me and I don't think-”

“DID YOU REALLY JUST KISS ME?” Soeun asks loudly as she gasps, staring at Soojin with wide eyes, realization hitting her hard as she realizes it's not a dream but actual reality. 

“YES I DID WHY ARE YOU YELLING?” 

BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH YELLING THOUGH IT'S JUST US!”

“Soeun snap out of it please!” Soojin begs as she hides her face behind her hands, sighing heavily. 

“Do you like me back?” Soeun asks her. Soojin nods her head slowly. 

“I need to hear it.”

“I do.”

“Not like that~” Soeun grumbles. 

“Now you're just being cocky.” Soojin glares at her. 

“No! I swear! I just really need to hear it!” Soojin sighs as she looks at Soeun who has a defensive expression on, hands raised on her shoulders’ height in mock defense. It melts Soojin's heart somehow as she thinks Soeun looks a little too adorable and indeed has every right to hear her saying it. So she gives in. 

“I'