Have I gone mad?

Yeah I think I have and there's no one else to blame but An Yujin.

"Isn't it amazing though?" No it is not!

"Liz, no!" I pleaded followed by an exasperated whimper. "Oh sorry I didn't mean to shout but arrrgh."

"You're too cute when you complain, it's okay Wonyoung, you are really perfect for that," Liz assured. If she keeps calling me cute I might as well just give in.

But here's the problem: There will be a beauty contest in our campus in celebration of the university's anniversary and each college department must have one participant each. An Yujin recommended me out of the blue and everyone just collectively agreed without even holding any meetings or whatsoever.

The thing is, An Yujin isn't even in the same college department as me! But you can never underestimate a student council member for having many connections, so despite the course, program or department, she easily blends in and gets along well with them. 

Today is supposed to be a peaceful day not until our college department representative approached me telling me that the student council vice president recommended me to be the muse and the other professors somehow just agreed as well saying "We can definitely win if it is Wonyoung."

"What if I let them down and lost?" I started to overthink. 

Everyone believes in me so much that I can always do it if I try but what if I lose?

"Winning is surely fun, you can be greedy about it, but enjoying it is far more important just so you won't have any regrets regardless of the results," and when Liz said those words, something just hit me.

Despite always being at the top, I never enjoyed the process of getting there...

I feel so lonely and it's scary. I never want to be at school, I never look forward to going to school– I feel alone.

I do enjoy studying, but interacting with my classmates, why does it always feel like they're so distant from me? I feel so lonely. I am scared.

What is this sudden surge of fear and loneliness I am feeling–

"No one is telling you to win. Just vibe with it." 

She is right, no– hold on that's not Liz!

"A-an Y-yujin?" why the hell is she appearing like a mushroom in the woods.

"Heyo!" too bright, too bright, how does she do it?

She greeted me again with that unique smile of hers, and every time I see that smile it always feels like it lights up a gloomy rain that is me.

I noticed that Yujin has always been like this though. Whenever I am drowning in negativity and darkness, she comes around like a Sun appearing in the morning after a dark and lonely night, or a Sun appearing after the storm. She is so bright that I can't see anything around me but her unique smiles, those deep dimples and crescent moon eyes. 

She is like a Sun that you shouldn't be staring at in the first place, it will damage your retina, but it just captivates me more like a rat going to a cheese in a trap.

I'm stuck. I can't look away.

That was until Liz spoke up.

"Vice president, what brought you here?" Liz asked, she is being polite but I can sense that she doesn't like An Yujin's presence here. 

Has Liz always been this way though?

"If you need help with preparations, I'd be more willing to help, though I already told your department that, but I just wanted to tell you personally," she said while blushing– she is blushing?!

This day is definitely not normal. No one around me is being their usual self, not even Liz with her subtle death glares at An Yujin.

"Wouldn't it be bad for your image to help the Political Science Department? What would your classmates even say about that?" Liz brought up.

She does have a point. An Yujin belongs to the Accountancy Department, why is she willing to help us– or me... wait huh?

I just remembered something... does this have anything to do with what she asked 3 days ago?

"I don't think our department needs my help anyway and also, I am still waiting for your answer, Wonyoungie," and looks like it does really have anything to do with that. The way she rolls my nickname on her tongue though, playful.

Heat just rushed throughout my body up to my cheeks and I can't help but blush terribly right now. 

WHY IS SHE ALWAYS TEASING ME?!

I looked away and tried my best to hide how flustered I am but I am terribly bad at it, at least in front of her.

I looked at Liz to see her staring [read: glaring] at Yujin, puzzled and– wait what is this tension?

"A-an Yujin I-"

"-we appreciate your help, but I believe you're just making Wonyoung uncomfortable right now, so if you may excuse us. We still have to attend our class," Liz saved me once again.

She dragged my hand as we walked past Yujin with the latter watching me walk away. And for the first time, up close, it feels like I can read Yujin's eyes and she looks... hurt?

That was a lie, what Liz said, it was a lie because we don't really have a class right now. I wonder why she did that? Was it because I was terribly blushing and she is just trying to save me from more embarrassment?

Why was I even blushing in the first place? I am already crying hopelessly deep inside because An Yuj