*Excuse the curse words

Snow falls the day Sakura promised to visit her. It wasn’t the ever so romanticised first snow. It was the second, maybe third snowfall of the year.

Beeping sound from the microwave broke her trance and she rushed to shut it off. She always hates the beeping sounds as it is so annoying or maybe because she grew accustomed to Sakura’s Japanese microwave. All those soft cooing sounds that sometimes make her giggle alone.

Sakura was always amused whenever she saw Eunbi dancing around her kitchen to the tune of the microwave.

“What? We don’t have it in Korea,” Eunbi shrugged. 

Sakura took a seat at the counter and smiled, “I know baby, I know.”

The couple shared a kiss that later escalated to a deeper one and you know what it means when they ended up tangled in bed again.

Panting and heaving.

Fast forward 2 years later and they’re still together.

Difference is they’re not in the same group anymore. But at least they’re in the same city.

It’s their 666 days together and the couple planned to have a romantic dinner. They have been so caught up with their work that they are barely able to see each other.

It’s funny how distance works between them; when they breathe the same air they can’t seem to stand one another, and yet when they are 300 miles apart, they are ever so ready to drop everything just to be the other’s little spoon. 

“Wow..” Eunbi’s eyes bulged as soon as she opened the door revealing a y Sakura. 

.. She bought that dress for Sakura when she went to LA last year.

“Why… Why are you wearing that?” Eunbi stuttered. The reaction was interpreted differently on the receiving end. 

Sakura’s face lit up and she giggled before answering, “Because…. It's our special day and this is my special dress. Someone special bought it for me,” she twirled around in that little yellow dress and it hurt Eunbi more than it flattered her.

It was the air of happiness and love that got to Eunbi. And a feeling. 

‘Why you gotta make it hard for me Sakura?’

“You look beautiful” was the only response Eunbi could give.

And Sakura’s kiss on her cheek burned through her. Eunbi hates it. She hates how much she still loves Sakura that even a simple peck affects her a lot.
She crumpled the table cloth and reset her emotions in 3 seconds.

The dining table was decorated with candles and flowers though Eunbi herself doesn't know why she would do such a gesture given the circumstances.

Sakura was chewing the food with her smiley face.

“I got to tell you something..” Eunbi released the heavy breath she’s been keeping inside her chest.

“Oh. What is it? Do tell me babe,” Sakura smiled at her. 

, why does this never get easy? This is her third time trying to tell her yet those twinkles in her eyes always makes her feel guilty.

.

“Eun?” Eunbi felt a soft hand tapping hers lightly, bringing her back to reality.

“Are you okay?” Sakura asked.

“Oh. Yeah yeah I’m okay…” No, I'm not Sakura. You’re making things hard for me.

“What is it that you wanna tell me?”

Eunbi’s fire fortified. Should she confess now? Maybe not this time, not yet “Nothing.. Nothing..” She lied.

Sakura for sure knew she’s lying when she asked her twice “Are you sure?” Eunbi nodded. “Really?” Eunbi nodded again, clenching her dress.

“Okay then let’s finish this food and tune in the tv. Your favourite show is showing tonight,” Sakura sing-song.

‘No Sakura. I don’t like that show anymore. I won’t like it ever again. Cause it reminds me so much of you.’

Despite Eunbi’s audacious hoax, the dinner ended in light for Sakura but it was dark and stormy for Eunbi.

The younger was wiping her hands with the cloth when Eunbi stood behind her and dropped the bomb.

“Imbreakingupwithyou” Eunbi said, clenching her teeth and gripping the chopstick in her hand.

Sakura turned around to make sure she heard it correctly, “Pardon?”

The air was heavy and dry.

Taking a deep breath, Eunbi balled her fist and let it out her chest once again, tormenting the chopsticks and the sound of them breaking echoed. 

Eunbi lifted her head and bored into Sakura’s eyes, “I’m breaking up with you.”

Silence.

Sakura was not sure if she even knew how to breathe. This was not what she had in mind. Not when she just bought new lingerie and that cologne Eunbi loves so much. Dare to mention the bouquet coming on the way and few deliveries to Eunbi’s apartment.

“Are.. Are you serious?” She gulped before slowly turning to look at Eunbi straight in the eyes.

Eunbi squeezed her fists and nodded “Yes”.

“Oh…” Sakura muttered.

Did it hurt?

No. Of course it doesn’t hurt. It’s killing her. Hurt is a paradox of lying to the pain she’s feeling right now.  

Seriously, how would you respond to someone you love so much breaking up with you?
Do you cry or do you go and scream?

Do you beg or you let it be?

Do you play it cool or slap the person?

What should you do?

Because Sakura is not even sure if she can fake a smile or if she can just cry. She doesn't want to make it harder for Eunbi.

Eunbi fidgeted with her fingers and looked at her new ex. All the colours drained out of Sakura’s face and what’s left standing in front of Eunbi is an empty soul. Eunbi saw a stranger that she knew very well. 

“I’m sorry Sakura. I know it’s too sudden but these past months I’ve been thinking.. and I’ve been trying. But after feeling like this for three times I think I can see the clear choice for me. I– I never meant to break your heart. But we both know these past months we’ve been distant and with you’ve been busy, we never got the chance to really be together.. We couldn’t even call each other. I don’t want you to be burdened by me when you debut or whatever.”

‘You were never a burden for me Eun. I guess I’m really bad at showing you how much I love you’

Eunbi continues “I think.. No, I know it’s better for me to end it before it takes a toll on my mental health again.”

‘Again? . Have I been that bad all these times? But why haven’t you ever told me once?’

“I’m sorry but I need to be selfish and choose me for myself. I feel lighter and happier being distant. I just.. I don’t have to heal myself every time you went MIA or ignored me. I don’t have to worry a lot about you. I could just think of myself. And be happy,” she finished.

“Sakura... Please say something,” Eunbi gulped. The silence is killing her deeply too.

She lifted her head when she heard a chuckling sound “What do you want me to say? My heart hurts… But…” Sakura inhaled before continuing “But I guess.. I’ll make this easy for both of us… I.. It’s okay, Eun.. Unnie. It’s okay. I guess. All important now is that.. You’ll…. You’re feeling okay..”

It was such a crammed space - the room they’re standing in. There seems to be no rift for air. And all Sakura’s colourful visions of their future turned grey.

Coming back to half her senses, Sakura asked, “May, may I know why?”

Sakura would never in a hundred years imagined Eunbi exploding in anger at her. Until she finally witnessed it.

Eunbi’s hands trembled and she shook it violently.

“I’ve been holding on for so long Sakura. For so ing long!” Eunbi’s eyes welled up as she spoke so she quickly looked away.

Her jaw tightened and Sakura could Eunbi straightened her back, “When I needed you most, you were always not there. Everytime I turn around I can’t see you here.”

Sakura frowned, didn’t Eunbi say she understands? “But..You know why Eun”

“I know!” cried Eunbi, aghast.

“I know… but it hurts you know. I always, always have to tend to myself! Making excuses that you’re busy with your training or such. But is it that hard to pick up your phone for at least some goodnight or good morning texts?”

Eunbi’s words were inscrutable to Sakura. All these times Eunbi said that she’s okay, was it all a lie? 

“Eun you know I don’t really do that,” her frown deepened.

“Then try!” Eunbi's face reddened, the vein in her neck popped as she screamed her heart out.

It shocked Sakura as the older one had never shouted at her before, “I… I did”

“No, yeah you did. For a while. Then you go back to being busy and all that,” Eunbi rolled her eyes. She really wanna slam Sakura’s head on the kitchen counter so she could get some sense but it would be homicide.

God, how frustrating it is to get Sakura to understand. Why the is she being so hard? For someone so smart Sakura is really a tard.

“Eun… I told you I need some time to adjust and I need time to…”

“Isn’t 600 days enough for you to try?” Seriously Sakura, isn’t it enough to try?

Sakura shakes her head, “First, it’s 666 days. And second, for more than half of the days we were together, we always woke up next to each other or saw each other early in the morning. Do I have to text when I have you right next to me”

“Sakura!! Do you understand what I’m saying? I just need you to be serious with this relationship!” Eunbi grabbed her hair “ Sakura, you’re so ing impossible! Why can’t you understand that I need commitments, Not only affection!”

“I understood but..” Sakura tried to speak but Eunbi cut her again,

“No you’re not! You don’t understand! I bet it doesn't hurt you when I’m out and all alone, when I need someone to hold but you’re not there, when I’m at my worst I bet you don’t even care. When all our calls went from an hour to just a rain check.”

Sakura inched closer, “Eunbi, you on the first hand knows why..”

“Shut up Sakura I’m talking,” Eunbi pushed Sakura away and put her hands up, robbing away all the words from Sakura’s tongue.

“Why do I always have to be the one to understand? Why do I always have to be the one catering for the relationship? Why can’t you see how much I’m hurting and why can’t you ever show that you actually care? You’re always too busy with your career to care anyway. You only need me for and you don’t even care about me!”

“Eun! I care about you. A lot! You, are not just a tool for me! You are my whole heart!" She cried.

"But I told you I needed time,” Sakura tried to get closer to Eunbi but the girl pushed her away, “And I told you it’s fine!”

“Then what happened now? Eunbi, I love you so much and I am not using you just for fun! I am trying to build myself for our future! And I’m sorry I didn’t come to the phone when you needed me and I can’t even be there at your debut stage but you know if I could I wouldn’t miss any of those days.”

Eunbi grabbed her hair i