Two Months Later… 

 

In the bustling cafeteria, Minjoo sat by herself. Her classes had ended only moments ago, and she decided to make a stop at the cafeteria. Yuri and Yena demanded that Minjoo spend time with them, especially ever since Minjoo had started dating Yujin, her time with her two friends had become limited. While it was not extinct, Minjoo spent almost every other day with her girlfriend, the eccentric and love-stricken girl. She was happy that Yujin had confessed to her. She was happy, that for once in a long time, it seemed as if her feelings had been validated. 

She looked at the time on her phone, it was already noon, and Yena and Yuri’s classes were going to be over in about thirty minutes. She should have ordered her food, but at the same time, she did not want her food to get cold as she waited for her two friends. 

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she remembered what had happened the day after Yujin’s confession. 

 

************

Minjoo laid in bed with her new girlfriend, Yujin. The younger was curled up in the blanket. Their dark hair was messy from the usual bed hair. Minjoo looked over to her bedside, and the younger’s big round glasses remained on the nightstand. 

She didn’t have it in her heart to send the younger back home. It was late when the younger one came over. She lifted her hand up and her fingertips gently brushed the female’s hair behind their ear. She could feel her lips curl back into a bright smile. She wanted this moment to last forever, her first waking moment with Yujin as hers. She looked over at the time, it was already 8:17 AM, and it was a Thursday, which meant that Yuri had probably left for classes. For today, and today only, she was going to allow herself and Yujin to opt-out of school.  “Let me go and make breakfast for her…” that was the first thought that was on her mind. 

Minjoo carefully got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. Her first thought was to make ramen, but she remembered Yujin calling her old and strange for breaking the noodles before putting it into the broth. Then she recalled Yuri and Yena telling her that they can no longer be friends until after she moved away from that habit. She shook her head as she recalled the words of the others, “Yeah… No, I’m not going to do that.” 

The kitchen was small, it had a small stovetop, a fridge, and one or three cabinets. Being college students, it was a luxury to even have a kitchen with a stovetop that was not the small portable stove, much less with a full-size fridge. Minjoo looked at the rice pot, there was some rice left-over from the day before, in addition, there was an egg or two and some kimchi. 

That’s when she had decided, the first meal she would make for Yujin would be kimchi fried rice. It’s an easy recipe. How bad could it turn out anyways? 

 

She was wrong. 

 

Minutes had passed and she looked down at the finished product. The rice had an… orange color, the spam had a different variety of sizes and the fried egg? Well, it broke. Sort of, it’s more like a smiley face shape. How should she present the dish? Deconstructed maybe? Minjoo stared down at the food in front of her, should she just scrap the whole meal and make Yujin ramen instead? That was when she felt a pair of arms around her body and a familiar scent invading her nose, and it wasn’t the kimchi. Minjoo turned her head just slightly, only to see that the big puppy, named Ahn Yujin was hugging her. 

 

“Good morning Joojoo-buns…” the younger girl managed to mutter. The younger one was still obviously tired. A loud yawn escaped their lips as Yujin brought one of her hands up and rubbed her eyes in a circular morning. “What did you make?” 

“Kimchi fried rice…” Minjoo managed to mutter. Although she had paused for a moment, Joojoo-buns? She could feel her lips curl into a soft smile, it was indeed a name that Yujin would invent and call her. 

“Kimchi fried rice?” Yujin questioned as her eyes slowly parted. She stared at the breakfast the Minjoo had prepped for her. There was a small moment of silence between them. That was until moments later, Yujin had erupted into a fit of laughter, pulling away from Minjoo only to take a step back from them. The younger’s laughter filled the room, their deep dimple revealing itself once more. “How is that kimchi fried rice? That’s so weird!” 

Minjoo rolled her eyes, she could feel herself pouting as the younger made fun of the meal that she worked so hard to prepare for them. “Fine, if you don’t want it, I’ll just eat it all by myself, and you won’t get a single bite from your girlfriend’s first homemade meal!” 

That was when the female who was laughing profusely had stopped. Yujin’s gaze met Minjoo’s as she stared at them with almost pleading eyes. “Wait, pause, Kim Minjoo, let me eat your cooking!”

And as if it was a skit, Minjoo had already grabbed the plate of food and her feet led her to the living room with one spoon. Minjoo made herself comfortable on the floor and Yujin had followed soon after, making herself comfortable next to the female. Minjoo took the first bite of her meal and shoved it in . It needed salt, but it was still piping hot, the heat from the rice as it slid down Minjoo’s throat caused her to cough. 

 

“Look, even the rice knows that I’m the rightful owner! Let me take a bite of it, Minjoo!” Yujin claimed as she stared at the female. 
“Rightful owner…?” Minjoo let out a baffled laugh, staring at the younger and before she could make a rebuttal she felt the spoon that was in her hand go away, and then within seconds, she saw the younger take a bite of the meal she had prepared. Although she did not have any expectations she looked at Yujin’s expression, she wanted to be praised. 
“It’s… unique?” Yujin let out a soft laugh as she finished taking her first bite. Her eyes moved towards the older as she lifted her hand and gently patted the female’s shoulder. “It’s not bad for a first attempt.” 

 

Minjoo let out a soft scoff as she stared at the younger. “Whatever you say Ahn Yujin.” although, Minjoo couldn’t help but smile. She was happy. 

 

************

 

“Is anyone sitting here?” a voice called out, breaking Minjoo out of her trance. However, when she looked up, the person that she saw in front of her, she had never expected to see again, at least, not by the other’s will. It was Kim Chaewon, her ex-girlfriend, the one that she had spent six years together with. 
“N-No…” were the only words that could escape Minjoo’s lips. She was still processing the fact that the older female was in front of her. What was she supposed to say? Or more like, what was the other doing here? 
“How long has it been?” the other female questioned. Their face was still as small as ever, their voice soft and calming. 

Minjoo looked over at the older female and let out a soft and awkward laugh. She rubbed the nape of her neck. “How long…?” she tried to recount it. She met Yujin eight months after the break-up, talked to Yujin for about three months, then she was happily dating the younger for two months. “A little more than a year.” 

“Has it really?” Chaewon asked as she looked at the other female with a surprised expression on her face. “Sorry, I didn’t think it was that long.” 

But Minjoo did. She could remember the eight months of having false hopes, waiting for the older to call for her back. She remembered how much she missed her, how many tears she ended up shedding. How long and hard it had become to want to live until she met Yujin.

“What did you need, Chae?” 
“I just needed a friend, that’s all. Yuri and Yena haven’t spoken to me since the breakup.” 
“That’s because you were the one that cheated,” Minjoo responded almost immediately. “While I was suffering and crying, you were the one that left me first.” 
“I wanted to apologize for that.” the other interrupted Minjoo. “I wanted to say, I’m sorry that I cheated and left you for someone else.” 
“So let me ask you, why all of a sudden, you’re deciding to apologize to me?” 
“Because she left me.” 
“What?” 
“Hitomi left me because she did not know that during the time I was talking to her, I was also in a relationship with you. She said she couldn’t deal with the guilt of breaking up a couple.”  

 

Minjoo stared at the older with a dumbfounded look on her face. She let out a soft scoff and shook her head. “So what do you think apologizing to me will do? Do you think it’ll give Hitomi a reason to come back to you?” 

 

“Would I be an idiot if I say no?” Chaewon looked over at Minjoo. “I missed you, Min. Let’s get back together.” 

 

Minjoo stared at the older with a dumbfounded look. She let out a soft huff as she stood up from the table. Her eyes were filled with anger as she stared at Chaewon. Her hand raised up, but when her eyes met with Chaewon’s soft brown eyes, she could feel her lip quiver once more. Her hand fell down to the side. She couldn’t be angry with the other. Her heart wouldn’t allow it. 

 

“Don’t say those words to me. Don’t try and hurt me again…” Minjoo managed to mutter as she stared at Chaewon. 

 

Minjoo grabbed her backpack and her cell phone as she stormed out of the cafeteria. She felt an overwhelming sense of anger, but it wasn’t towards Chaewon but at herself. She could feel the pain in her heart, a part of it still longing to be the view of Chaewon’s eyes. 

 

************

 

Minjoo sat down in the cafe across from Yujin’s school. Her lips pursed in as she tried to recall some reason behind what she felt. Did she really want to hear those words from Chaewon? The tips of her fingers gently rubbed against the rim of the coffee cup. She messaged both Yena and Yuri to come to the cafe and the two were just grabbing their drinks. Minjoo looked at the time, it was already 1:30 PM, Yujin was going to get out in an hour and a half or so. What she needed was Yujin, not Chaewon. 

 

“So, what happened between you and Chaewon?” a voice called out, breaking Minjoo out of her train of thought. When she looked up the duck lipped female Yena was standing in front of her, and Yuri had accompanied them. Her lips curled into a soft smile as she saw her two friends sit down across from her. 

Minjoo’s lips pursed in, and a soft sigh escaped her lips as she stared at her friends who looked at her, explaining the story and situation to them. Recounting how the older said they had no friends, how apparently Chaewon and Hitomi had broken up, and how Chaewon told her that she missed her. 

 

“You can’t get back together with her, Min.” the blonde female stated as she stared at her best friend. “Under no circumstances, can you get back together with Chaewon.” 
“What?” Minjoo looked at her best friend Yuri, her lips pursed in as she stared at them. “Who said anything about getting back with her…?” 
“That’s just how you are, Min. Any time that Chaewon would ask for you back, you would come back crawling to her.” Yena interjected as she stared at the brunette with a serious expression on their face. “She’s not good for you.” 
“Don’t get us wrong, Min. Chaewon is a good girl, but the relationship the two of you had together was toxic and it wasn’t healthy,” Yuri added. 

 

Minjoo could see the genuine concern from her friends on their faces. She let out a soft laugh and gave them a nod. Indeed, she loved being with Yujin, but there was still a part of her that missed Chaewon. 

 

“What are you guys saying? I’m happy with Yujin, there’s no way I’d leave her for Chaewon.”
“Good, besides, Yujin is really in love with you, you know? She’s been crazy in love with you for the longest time,” Yena started with a big grin on her face. “When she and I started working and she saw you walk into the cafe, she kept bugging me for your name.” 

Minjoo stared at the female with a curious look on her face, her lips curled into a smile. “Oh did she?”

“Of course, she was always the one that insisted on taking your order, making your drinks, and then she had me take it to you. Said she was too shy because you were the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen,” the oldest of the group, Yena responded and continued to add in, “Although, I think she needs to get her eyes checked. Because obviously, I am the visuals in this group.”
“Choi Yena, if you’re the visuals, what does that make me?” Yuri interjected as she stared at the duck-lipped female with an intense glare. 

 

Minjoo let out a soft laugh and she shook her head, watching as her two best friends bickered among each other. Her lips curled into a soft smile. She was satisfied with her life as it was currently. Minjoo looked over at the time, it was already 3:30 PM, Yujin should have been out of class by now. Her eyes were glued at the school gates, she watched as the students walked out through the gates, and for a while none of them were Yujin. 

 

That was when she saw her. Yujin was walking out of the gates. Minjoo’s lips were curled into a bright smile. She took her phone off the table and unlocked it to call the younger. She watched the female reach for the phone in her pocket, but then she saw something that broke her, another girl walking beside Yujin and clinging to her arm. The girl was relatively the same height as Minjoo, they had long flowing black hair, and a small amount of baby fat on their cheeks. The two looked close, and Yujin was laughing. 

 

Yujin tucked the phone back into their pocket. Minjoo’s lips pursed in, her call had been pushed aside by Yujin. 

 

“Oh? I didn’t know the two of them were still close,” Yena stated in a surprising tone. 
“Who is she?” Minjoo questioned. She felt a pain in her heart. She felt like she knew who they were, but she wished that her assumptions weren’t true. 
“Her ex-girlfriend, Jang Wonyoung.”

 

************

 

One Month Later… 

 

Minjoo laid in the arms of Yujin. The two were watching a movie together. Midterms were coming up for Minjoo and college exams were coming up for Yujin, therefore, it was difficult for the two to spend time together, which was what Minjoo wanted to believe. She had yet to talk to Yujin about the girl that she saw Yujin with, much less talk about the situation with Chaewon. There were a lot of things she wanted to say, but she could feel the worry overcome her. Her lips had pursed in, unsure of what to say as she stared at the younger female. 

Yujin laughed at the film, revealing their deep dimples. Minjoo smiled to herself, there was no way that Yujin would leave her, right? 

Minjoo let out a soft sigh, making herself comfortable in Yujin’s arms as the two sat on the floor with a blanket wrapped around them to fight off the cold. She rested her head on the younger’s shoulder. Yujin’s arms were wrapped around Minjoo’s waist, as they always were. In between the scenes, Minjoo could feel their soft lips on her forehead. She wanted this moment to last forever. 

Then a soft vibration ended the silence. It was from Yujin’s phone and Minjoo took a glance at the screen, seeing Wonyo on the screen. Almost immediately, Yujin’s arms unwrapped around Minjoo’s waist and she grabbed her cell phone. Minjoo watched as Yujin answered the call and walked out to the balcony. But the words that hurt Minjoo the most were the following. 

 

“Am I busy? No, not really.” 

 

Minjoo felt an empty feeling once again, the pain of her heart, it hurt too much. She glanced on the balcony and felt another pang in her heart. Yujin’s eyes were full of happiness. 

She didn’t know what to feel, her heart hurt as if it was a sharp knife that went through her heart. She reached for her own phone and her fingers naturally typing a message. 

 

From: Minjoo
To: Chaewon
Timestamp: 8:05 PM 
Chae… what should I do? 

 

Minjoo paused as she realized what she had just done. It was as if it was an automatic response to when something bad would happen, her body had naturally messaged Chaewon. She looked at her phone. Was this a way that her body was telling her that she still wanted Chaewon? That she still wanted to be a part of the apple of her eye? Then she heard the familiar ringtone echo throughout the house. 

 

From: Chaewon
To: Minjoo
Timestamp: 8:06 PM
What happened, Min? Are you okay? Did something happen? Do you need me to come over? 

 

She shouldn’t respond, she shouldn’t reply. But… she needed someone to talk too. She messaged Chaewon everything, about her uncertainties, about how it seemed as if Yujin had someone else. About how she wasn’t even sure about what she wanted anymore. Everything seemed to just pour out. Everything had become so natural, it was comfortable, familiar. For Minjoo, maybe it was the six years of being together as a couple that made everything comfortable when it came to Chaewon, even after their breakup. Was she still in love with her? 

 

From: Chaewon
To: Minjoo
Timestamp: 8:45 PM 
I’m sorry that happened to you, Min… like I said, my offer still stands.
If you want to get back together again, I’ll wait for you. 

 

Minjoo stared at her cell phone. Her lips had pursed in. Her heart was happy with Yujin, but her mind had become accustomed to and comfortable with Chaewon. That’s when she realized, maybe Chaewon had never left her eyes. 

 

From: Minjoo
To: Chaewon
Timestamp: 8:47
I’m not sure, Chae… give me some time. 

 

After thirty-minutes or so from sending the text to Chaewon. Yujin had finally walked back into the apartment. She sat down beside Minjoo and tried to wrap her arms back around the older, but Minjoo had scooted off to the side. She was still conflicted, deciding in her own mind how she was supposed to react to these newfound revelations. 

 

“Joojoo-buns, what’s wrong?” Yujin’s voice was full of concern, but Minjoo was unsure of what to say. 

 

She had to talk about what was on her mind, the phone call, why Yujin was gone for almost an hour and a half on the phone with who she can only assume was Wonyoung, their ex-girlfriend. Why Yujin said that she wasn’t busy, even though they were watching a movie together. 

 

“Who was that on the phone?” Minjoo managed to push out of her lips. Her eyes observed Yujin’s reaction, but the younger remained stoic. 
“My best friend, Jang Wonyoung.” 
“Don’t you mean your ex-girlfriend?” 

 

There was a silence between the two. Their gaze directed towards each other. Yujin had stared at the female with a concerned look on their face.

 

“Who told you that?” 
“Yena.” 
“Does it matter that she’s my ex-girlfriend? Right now, you’re my girlfriend, and she’s my best friend, Minjoo.” 
“It does matter! I saw you on that day!” Minjoo retorted. She stood up and looked at Yujin. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. “I saw you ignore my call while she was clinging to your arm!”
“Minjoo we’re just close it’s nothing like that--” 
“Don’t lie to me, Yujin!” Minjoo stared at the younger female, seeing a mixture of confusion and concern on their face. 

 

Yujin stood up and looked at the older, she placed her hands on their shoulder as she stared at the older girl in concern. “Minjoo, I would never do anything to hurt you.” 

 

“But you did.” 
“What did I do? Let me fix it, Minjoo.” 
“You said you weren’t busy, but we were in the middle of a date, and then you disappeared for an hour!” 
“Minjoo, if you let me explain--” 
“Chaewon asked for me back.” 

 

There was an awkward silence between the two. Minjoo had stared at the younger, she felt a pain in her heart as she saw that Yujin’s deep and dark brown eyes had begun to well up in tears.

 

“What did you say?” Yujin managed to choke out of . The younger girl tried her best to fight back the tears. 
“I told her that I didn’t know.” 
“Did you tell her no?” 
“I told her I need some time.” 
“So you told her yes?” 

 

Minjoo watched as a single tear rolled down the younger’s cheek and then Yujin proceeded to rub the tears away with the sleeve of her shirt. 

 

“You can’t get back together with her, Minjoo.” 
“Why not?”
“She hurt you, Minjoo!” 
“You did too, you’ve been keeping secrets from me!” 
“What secrets, Minjoo? Tell me, and I’ll give you an answer for every single one of your doubts. Don’t do this.” 
“If you were so willing to give an answer, why would you keep a secret in the first place?” Minjoo retorted as she stared at the younger as she could feel her own lip quiver. 

 

The air had become tense, the two filled with anger as they stared at one another. Minjoo’s lips quivered. It was because of her indecisiveness, that she was hurting Yujin right now. The same indecisiveness that Chaewon had mentioned when they broke up. 

 

“Minjoo, are… are you going to go back to Chaewon because of love? Or is it because of hope?” 

 

Minjoo remained silent. 

 

“Joojoo-buns, Kim Minjoo, I love you.” 
“You should be the one rethinking that.” the words slipped out of Minjoo’s lips unintentionally from her anger, from how upset she was. 

 

Why did she say that? Her anger was overcoming her. 

 

“Are you sure that you didn’t hope that I was the one for you?” Minjoo added as she felt her eyes glued to the ground. She knew that if she looked up and met the eyes of the younger, she would have seen another image that would break her heart once more. 

 

The younger remained silent. All Minjoo could hear was the sound of the female’s footsteps as they began to grow farther and farther away. 

 

“Minjoo, it’s over.” 

 

And like that, their love story had been put on hold after six months, twenty-one days, fifteen hours, and twenty-eight minutes. 

 

************

 

 A Few Weeks Later… 

 

Minjoo absent-mindedly sat down in her chair in the cafe. Her fingers gently tapped on the table and her lips pursed in. Across from her was Chaewon. There was unexplainable loneliness in Minjoo’s heart. An empty void, she felt as if she had become an empty shell of what she was. Yujin did not message her at all the last few days. Her biggest regret was not stealing one more glance into Yujin’s eyes. If she did, she would have seen whether or not the younger was lying, she would have been able to see the meaning behind their words through their eyes. 

 

“So, did you think about it… my offer?” Chaewon questioned as she stared at Minjoo which brought Minjoo out of her trance. She stared at the older female and her lips had curled into a soft smile. 

 

Minjoo’s first action was to stare into Chaewon’s eyes. If the eyes are the window to the soul, then the truth will come undoubtedly. Before she made her decision before her mind would tell her that what she wanted in her life was Chaewon. She wanted to see if in Chaewon’s eyes she was going to be the only one for them. 

 

“Do you still love me, Chaewon?” 
“Of course.” 

She’s lying. 

 

“What about Hitomi?” 
“We ended our relationship a while ago.” 

 

In her eyes, it’s still Hitomi. Chaewon was still hurt, and she’s trying to replace that hurt with false love for Minjoo. 

 

“Then my answer is…” before Minjoo could finish her sentence there was a ring throughout the small cafe and a familiar tall girl had walked into a building. Minjoo had only seen the girl once before, but they walked beside a much shorter girl with long hair, round cheeks. The tall female was Jang Wonyoung, Yujin’s ex, and she was holding hands with the girl right next to her. The overall atmosphere between the two was as if they were a new couple head over heels with each other. “Give me a second Chae.” 

 

Minjoo stood up and made her way to the two girls. What was this overwhelming feeling that took over Minju’s body? Was it anger? She thought that Yujin and Wonyoung had gotten back together, taking into consideration that the younger had not responded to her in the last few days. Her body had moved on her own. She fought through the tears that had naturally formed in her eyes. Her hand raised up and within seconds, she watched as her hand made contact with the taller female and left a large red mark on their cheek. 

“How could you do this to her?” Minjoo almost yelled. 

The tall girl looked at Minjoo confused, her hand holding onto the red mark on their cheek. The shorter girl was in obvious shock and confusion. 

“Who are you?” the shorter female was the first one to speak up. Her eyes were obviously boiling up in anger. 

“Who am I? Kim Minjoo. My name is Kim Minjoo. And this girl that you’re with she has someone else.” Minjoo retorted as she gave a deathlike glare to the tall girl. “How can you do that to her?” 

“What are you saying? The only girl that I’m seeing is this girl! Nako!” Wonyoung had shouted as she stared at the female standing across from her. Minjoo’s eyes meet theirs. 

 

She’s not lying. 

 

“Ah. Kim Minjoo you said?” the taller girl named Wonyoung let out a soft scoff. She pulled her hand away from the hold of the shorter. “You’re the one that accused Yujin of cheating on you with me? Do you even know how broken Yujin is? How selfish and thick-headed are you?” 

 

Her eyes are telling the truth. Yujin is broken. She’s not lying. 

 

“You’re the one that broke Yujin?” the shorter girl, Nako, spoke up. “Do you even know what you did?” 
“But, I saw you! You were clinging to Yujin that day, you called her during our date and talked to each other for a long time. Yujin was spending less time with me during that time and she was probably hanging out with you!” Minjoo was confused, her brows were furrowing in. She was unsure of what was happening. Was she wrong this whole time? 

 

“Listen, Kim Minjoo. If you had only listened to her, you would have known the truth. Yes. Yujin and I are close. We practically grew up together, she’s like an older sister to me. Yes. We dated for a bit. But not once, did I ever think I was the one for her. Because I knew that she had a one-sided love with a girl she saw that she gave flowers to four years ago.” Wonyoung let out a deep sigh before she continued. “Yes, I called Yujin that day. We talked for a long time, but, it was because my parents found out about my uality and demanded I break up with Nako.” 

 

She’s not lying. She’s telling the truth.

 

She was wrong. She was wrong and it was all her fault that Yujin was suffering. Chaewon had become an afterthought because of her insecurities. It had become a natural reaction that when things went wrong, her mind had automatically associated Chaewon to be the one to turn to for comfort because it was accustomed to the pain of getting hurt by Chaewon, but not by Yujin. 

 

If Minjoo had only talked to Yujin rationally then maybe she would have understood everything. If she had only looked into the younger’s eyes, maybe then she would have seen she was the only one in their eyes, and in their reflection, Yujin was the only one in hers. 

 

“Where is she?” Minjoo questioned as she stared at the two females. “Where is Ahn Yujin?” 
“I’m not going to let you hurt her again,” Wonyoung stated as she let out a soft huff. “Not a single chance. Good luck.” 
“Tell me where she is!” Minjoo shouted once more. “I need to make it right!” 

 

The two younger girls looked shocked as they stared at the obviously angry girl, but that’s when they saw it. Tears rolling down Minjoo’s cheeks. Minjoo was not even aware of them. For the first time since she met Yujin, she cried. 

 

“She’s gone. She left yesterday.” Wonyoung stated firmly. “She said it was too unbearable to be in the same country as you, so she bought a one-way ticket to the United States. She said she was going to study there. You broke her.” 

 

************

 

Minjoo headed home, her feet dragging behind her. She could feel that her eyes were puffy and red. She did not expect to cry that much. Her lips had pursed in, thinking about how much she messed up. How much she missed Yujin and how much she loved her. Yes, she was in love with Yujin. The reason why Yujin was gone now, it was indeed her fault. 

 

She went home with a heavy heart and arrived at the apartment.  She looked at the counter as she entered the apartment. There were letters on the counter. Her lips pursed in as she went through them, spotting a familiar name, Yujin had written a letter to her. 

 

She quickly grabbed the letter and ripped it open. 

 

Minjoo. 

 

Kim Minjoo. 

 

How do I write a letter? I’m not even sure, it’s weird to write one that isn’t for an assignment for class. 

 

My Joojoo-buns. 

Are you okay? Have you eaten? Did you drink enough water? Are you holding up okay? I know in a situation like this, I should be angry, upset, or even hate you. But I can’t. I really can’t. I told you when we first met, love does not hurt. It really doesn’t Minjoo. I thought about what you said, did I hope you were the one for me? Did you hope that the one for you was still Chaewon? 

But, there’s something in this broken heart of mine, saying that the one for me is you. That the one I need to spend my life with is you. I’ve been in love with the same girl for four years, and she’s you. The girl who makes my heart believe that the impossible is possible. The girl whose eyes are full of naivety, kindness, and is constantly searching for an answer. 

I thought that maybe love would be enough. If we love each other strong enough. Then maybe, just maybe, we could stop your eyes from searching and wandering. And then, your eyes would only be focused on me. In your eyes, I wanted you to see that I was the one for you and that you could stop searching. 

If you’re reading this, I’m in the United States by now. I want you to know that I love you so much. My feelings for you have never changed. I’m crying as I write this letter. 

 

I know in my heart, that I do not hope that you’re the one for me. But that you are the one for me, the one that I love. In this lifetime or the next, the only one I want in my eyes is you. 

 

To the lost girl, who is always seeking for an answer.  Who is constantly and unconsciously staring into the eyes of others. To the girl, who had become so broken that she can’t trust her heart anymore and looks into the eyes of others to evaluate if they’re telling the truth. 

 

To the girl, who will remain the only one in my eyes. 

 

The girl whose eyes I’ve fallen so deeply in love with. 

 

The girl whose kimchi fried rice is questionable at best. 

 

The girl who takes pictures of her food close up. 

 

The girl named Kim Minjoo. 

 

I love you. And I’ll come back to you. Sometimes, love is not the only thing that matters. Timing matters too. When the time is right and if love is still there, I’ll come back to you. 

 

Ahn Yujin. 

 

Minjoo held onto the letter, she could feel the tears falling down once again. Her lips quivering and her heart aching. Indeed, the one that she truly loves was Ahn Yujin and now she was too late. 

 

************

 

5 years later… 

 

It was late at night a deep sigh had escaped Minjoo’s lips. Five years have passed since she last saw Yujin, the girl with the deep dimples and sweet smile. The girl who had only left her with a letter to tell her that she left her. 

She missed her. She missed her so much. Minjoo’s lips pursed in as she rubbed the nape of her neck. It was a long shift at the hospital and another sigh had escaped her lips. “Beer sounds good today…” were the only words that managed to slip through her lips as she looked up at the dark night sky. It was empty and only the moon accompanied it. “She’s probably looking at the same sky as me, right?” 

Minjoo’s lips pursed in as she could feel the tears welling up once more. It’s been five years, and whenever she thought about Yujin, she ended up crying. She missed her and she loved her still. Minjoo took a deep breath, patting her cheeks to calm herself down. Yujin was gone and they were probably not going to cross paths again. 

 

She walked down the road and let out a soft laugh as her feet took her to the cafe that Yena used to work. Her coffee always tasted a little bit too sweet. 

“Of course, she was always the one that insisted on taking your order, making your drinks, and then she had me take it to you. Said she was too shy because you were the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.”

Yujin made her coffee. And she couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. Today, for some reason, she had felt sentimental. Her feet lead her to the next location, and she soon arrives at the arcade where the two had spent their first blind date together. 

“Not really, but, I could get lost in her eyes. I wouldn’t mind it, especially if it meant that I would be the only one that she was searching for.”

Minjoo could hear the sound of the loud games being played on the inside. She could remember the competitiveness of Ahn Yujin. Minjoo passed by a restaurant, seeing a family eating through the window, one of the children had ordered kimchi fried rice. 

“Look, even the rice knows that I’m the rightful owner! Let me take a bite of it, Minjoo!”

Minjoo’s cooking had gotten better, she wished the younger was there to taste it. Her lips pursed in as she made her way to the final destination. Leading her to the garden where they first met. 

“Finding pretty girls who are crying by themselves. That’s my talent, or so I’ve heard.”

Minjoo sat down on the bench, and her lips had pursed into a soft smile. Her fingertips gently dragging along the armrest of the bench. She let out a soft laugh as she felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes again. She missed her, she missed Yujin. She missed the younger’s laugh. She missed their dimples that would calm her down. She missed their soft lips as they reassured her that everything was going to be okay. She could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks once more as she began to cry. 

 

“Are you crying?” a voice called out, causing Minjoo to look up and seeing a face she never thought she would see again. 

 

The female had a small smile and her dimples showed once again. Minjoo rubbed the tears away roughly from her eyes as she stared at the younger girl in front of her. Yujin had matured, her slight babyface had grown into an adult one. They were as beautiful as ever. Minjoo stood up, pulling the other into a tight hug, letting out a few quiet sobs. She could feel their arms wrap around her waist. In their hold, Minjoo felt safe, she felt loved again. The arms that she missed so much for the last five years. 

It was accompanied by a soft kiss on her forehead, and Minjoo’s lips curled into a bright smile as she felt the reassurance of the female’s lips on her forehead. She pulled away from the female’s embrace before she sat down on the bench and motioned for the younger to sit down beside her. 

Yujin sat down next to Minjoo, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she stretched out a bit. “Minjoo, are you okay?” 

 

“I missed you.” 

Yujin glanced at Minjoo with a soft smile, her hand reached over and gently patted the female’s hair. “I missed you too.” 
“Yujin…” Minjoo whispered softly as she looked at the girl with a gentle gaze. “I’d like to use my Yujin Question Coupon.” 

The younger girl looked surprised, especially since the two had just reunited only moments ago. Her lips curled into a soft smile and a laugh erupted from her lips. “Really? After five years, you’re going to finally use that coupon?” 

“Yes, of course I’m going to use it. It’s been five years,” the female let out a soft laugh before she stared at Yujin, “Is now the right time?” Minjoo asked as she looked at the younger with a serious gaze. Yujin’s lips curled into a soft smile and nodded firmly. 
“I told you that I’ll come to you when the time was right.” 

Minjoo gazed into Yujin’s eyes, her lips curled into a smile as she found the answer there once again. In Yujin’s eyes, their eyes telling her: 

 

I love you, Kim Minjoo. 

 

The insecurities of the past. Her indecisiveness, her fear of the uncertainty for the future that was to come. With just the gaze of Yujin’s eyes, she could feel them fade away once again. Her lips had curled into a soft smile. She knew that she no longer hoped that Yujin was the one for her. But rather, in return, Minjoo’s eyes no longer had to search, because the one that they were looking for was right in front of her. 

The words that she should have said five years ago, on the day they fought, finally escaped her lips. “I love you too, Ahn Yujin.”