Outsider
The Lie of the LightThe welcoming was cold, to say the least. It was also freezing in the camp. Everyone glowed in the camp, the light likely only used to warm their limbs. Vivi didn’t know how to control that yet. Already, she was ready to find some place warm to sit. There were plenty of fires all around. Her leg still hurt and she leaned on the other as best she could. She fought the urge to sit down.
They were all around her, watching her with intent gazes. Some looked distrustful, but a few were surprisingly welcoming.
“Viian, father an elf with magic of earth, mother a fairy with a hold over the air,” the elder said. Freya. Her voice was warm, but her gaze was just as cold as the air. Vivi had met vampires kinder than that. She was an elder with eyes of a solid gold. Her skin was pure white, almost blindingly so. “What did that leave you with?”
Vivi fought the urge to correct how vague ‘hold over the air’ was and tell her of the many complexities there were.
“Stone.” With her accent, she’d probably sound as if she only spoke a fraction of what she did. Her crosesh wasn’t great, but she understood almost everything. Until several people talked at once or had accents like these elves did. Her head started to hurt when she tried to distinguish between all of them.
The elves around her exchanged glances. They’d gathered in a large circle. Vivi felt as if she was on display. If they wanted to make her feel uncomfortable, it was very effective.
“And the moon has chosen you, giving you the gift of light,” another elder said. They called her Eline. When she looked at Vivi, it seemed she was looking through her. “So we welcome you as one of the Astra.” Only then did she meet her eyes.
Vivi doubted that they truly welcomed her. She'd met a fair amount of eyes that looked at her with outrage, others with disbelief. She wasn’t the first halfling in the world, but she was the first to have gotten the light of the moon. It seemed to be a miracle to some and an ugly joke to others. Vivi had already decided that this wasn't a gift.
“Your role has already been decided,” Freya continued. “The protection of the humans falls to you and those you join. It is a noble cause.”
Protection of those who’d die before Vivi would ever get close to calling this place a home? Definitely noble.
“But we still need someone to teach you, as light is nothing like stone," another elder said. Lyriil. "Rather than heavy, it is gentle. Rather than destruction, it will bring something of value.”
Vivi whipped her head to look at him, trying not to show him just how destructive stone could be. It would only prove his point.
Lyriil's brow rose. He knew Vivi wouldn’t defend herself. “So I ask the rest of you for volunteers.” His voice rose. Somehow, he glowed even brighter. Vivi kept her eyes on his, even though it was starting to strain her. “Who will teach the newest addition the ways of the light and a respect for the moon?”
A lump of rock far far away, Vivi thought. She wouldn’t dare say it aloud. These elves worshipped the pale orb in the sky just as Vivi held the stars in high regard, higher than the moon. Another thing she wouldn’t say. The stars weren’t made of stone. The moon was. If Vivi was stronger than she was, there was the chance she could summon a lump of that rock. What would these elves say then?
The elves exchanged glances again, murmuring as they did. Vivi was glad that she’d learned a few of the elven languages, specifically crosa. They had a strange accent, one that sounded as though a song could be found just below the words. She didn’t like it. It made dismissive words sound friendly and words of hate sound so similar to that of love.
And now, they were discussing their current duties, as well as 'the halfling'. It didn't help in making her feel at home.
No one raised a hand or stepped forward. It looked like they were waiting for someone to volunteer first. Vivi fought a sigh.
“I will,” a higher voice said. The words reached over the whispers and mutters, falling into Vivi’s ear immediately. Strange.
Her eyes were drawn to a cluster of people. They cleared for the speaker, some looking confused, while others looked at them with something close to distaste. Each of them watched the person with some sort of begrudging respect. Very strange.
Some might have said she had eyes like emeralds, but Vivi thought them like the sea beneath the sun. She had dark hair cut just above her shoulders.
“Are you certain?” Freya asked. Her expression neared distaste as well. Who was this girl to the elves? A leader? Or a particularly difficult person to handle?
“Naturally.” Her gaze was like that of a hawk: challenging and perhaps predatory. Definitely searching.
No one objected. They only stared at her.
Vivi looked for Jungeun and Jinsoul. They had smiles on their faces. That was at least reassuring. She hoped so at least. They hadn't stepped forward, but she was quite sure that was because they weren't fully Astra. Did they even have the authority for that sort of a thing?
There was also a girl beside the two, one who glowed as they did, but not like the Astra. She had brown hair and purple eyes. She met Vivi’s eyes and winked.
Vivi had to smile back.
“Very well,” Freya pursed her lips, “if no one else will speak up?” Her eyes fell somewhere else. Vivi didn’t know who she looked at in the vast crowd. “Then we're finished. Haseul will tell you what else you must know.” Her eyes went back to the green-eyed elf. Not Vivi.
You must know. The wording rubbed her the wrong way. So did the tone.
The elves dispersed very quickly, leaving eight. One of them had taken Haseul aside, while the others looked on with varying degrees of surprise. She was whispering something to her. The girl sounded angry. It was also too quick for Vivi to understand fully, but she could interpret some of it.
What were you thinking?
Fool.
Trap.
Outsider.
Haseul only shook her head. “She’s here now,” she whispered, but Vivi could hear it perfectly. “So accept it.”
The girl looked livid. She had pink eyes as well, but they were more vibrant than Vivi’s.
Then those eyes met hers and the anger was directed at her. It gave Vivi a painful warmth. Was that another way moonlight worked?
“You’ll get no help from me.” Then she was gone.
A yellow-eyed girl watched after her, shock evident on her face. Disappointment was coming in as well.
“Viian,” Haseul nodded at her, “I’m sorry you’ve had to have one of the worst greetings I’ve ever seen.” Her expression no longer looked threatening. Just tired. So she'd put up a front. One of strength and something close to indifference.
“It definitely reminded me of mine.” Jinsoul gave her a small smile. “But she couldn’t exactly tell me that water destroys since,” she patted the waterskin at her waist, “it’s too good to criticise.”
“She lays into fire a lot,” Jungeun chuckled, “had Nuala give me several lectures on how terrible burn wounds were.” She rolled her eyes. “Very enlightening.”
Vivi caught Jinsoul's eyes flicker to Jungeun then. It was as if she wanted to protest, but had immediately held back.
“Are you allowed to speak like that?” Vivi glanced to where the elders had gone. They were on the far side of camp, but there were others who could pass on the words they spoke now. They all had the ears for it.
Haseul snorted. “They’re not like mortal rulers who’ll rip your limbs from you for disrespect.”
“Or else she’d have lost everything by now.” The one with yellow eyes laughed.
“That,” Haseul conceded, “and there’s some sort of deep-rooted respect we have for anyone tied to the moon.” Her gaze softened further. “Even if they take a while to remember that.”
“I have to go,” Jungeun said. “I’m one of the leads for the protection of the humans,” she winked, “but that essentially includes the patrol of our home.”
Our home. A collection of tents, the occasional stone structure, and many fire pits scattered all throughout. The place they were in now was both a clearing and next to some sort of amphitheatre. The ground had been carved away with surprising care and precision. It made for seats, as well as another flatter part further down. Vivi was glad they hadn’t been there—where she would’ve really been on display.
“I’ll be finished with Nuala in an hour,” Jinsoul frowned, “then I’ll change over and join you.”
The red-eyed elf only shook her head. “New moon today. You’ll be spent by then.” Then she was off.
Jinsoul watched after her, confusion and concern in her eyes. Vivi had no way of knowing if this was normal. Were those two just lumped together because they weren't Astra? Had something happened in the past?
The purple-eyed girl looked up at Jinsoul. “I can follow her.”
“She’ll expect that,” Jinsoul shook her head, “and won’t let you come far.”
Vivi looked at Haseul then who mouthed, ‘I’ll explain later’.
Purple-eyes then smiled brightly at Vivi, but there was still some concern leftover. “I’m Choerry.” She bowed her head once. “Technically it’s Yerim, but we don’t consider names that important.” There was a sudden edge of anger to the otherwise cheerful-looking girl.
“Yeojin,” the orange-eyed girl said. She had a surprisingly deep voice. “We have to get to Iaran.” She smiled apologetically at Vivi. “Hunting training.” Her words dripped with feigned enthusiasm. Vivi found herself already taking a liking to her.
The two left.
“If we’re doing introductions,” the yellow-eyed girl stepped over, “I'm Hyunjin. The one who was just here is Heejin.” Her eyes flicked to where the girl had gone. She looked disappointed now. Was disdain not typical for this Heejin? She seemed to wear it easily. “When it comes to the initial learning, I’m not much help,” she said. “But once we pass the construction phase, I’ll be there to help with the rest as well.”
“The rest?” Vivi repeated. Just how much was there supposed to be?
“Combat training, focused on using moonlight, and some other things.” She smiled. “You’ll see.” Then she gave a small wave before going in the direction Heejin had gone.
That left Vivi with Haseul and Jinsoul.
“Hopefully she’ll figure out what’s wrong with her,” Jinsoul crossed her arms, “or I’ll do it myself.”
That was something to remember. This Heejin wasn’t normally like this. Then again, ‘normally’ didn’t include having a halfling be considered a part of your happy family. Maybe she’d had a poor encounter with fairies. Most of Vivi’s own people had hated elves as a result of the conflicts they’d had. That hatred faded over time. It had a variety of reasons. Maybe Heejin had something like that in her past.
Then, with a warm smile sent Vivi’s way, Jinsoul went off to whoever Nuala was supposed to be.
“How’s the leg?” Haseul asked. She spoke fae, her accent changing the circular patterns of the language to something lyrical. Though the words sounded strange, they were a comfort to hear. “Jinsoul always tries to take the pain away, but,” she trailed off, her brow furrowed.
Vivi was happy to speak in her language. “I can walk on it with a limp,” Vivi replied. And it also hurts like a mortal’s hell.
“We’ll go sit by the fire,” she said. “Today was a hard day.” Her arm rose, but she seemed to think better of it, letting it fall. She started walking, but slowly.
It was clear that Haseul had wanted to give her a hand. Vivi appreciated that she hadn't. She may not have had much of an idea of how moonlight worked, but she wasn’t weak. If the rest didn’t acknowledge that, she’d have to show it. Otherwise they’d truly believe she was incapable of acting on her own accord. And that’d open her up to more confrontation.
“So there’re different duties?” Vivi asked. She wanted to know how exactly Haseul knew their language so well. The obvious answer was that she’d learned it. But that said nothing about why. The elves cared little for them, but the fae relied on them when an issue with spirits came about.
She nodded. “Sometimes there’s a rotation, other times not at all. Patrol’s one of those.”
And from what she’d seen, those not born into the Astra were relegated there. What of the others? Would she see born-Astra as well? Or not at all?
“There’s also hunting, scavenging, healing—combat too.” She nodded to a place where some were sparring between tents and fires. A younger boy against one of the elders. The boy was slowly starting to hold his own, but he lacked a proper stance. The elder wasn’t attacking that weakness. Perhaps this round was for the boy’s self-confidence.
“Which are you?”
“Either combat or hunting,” Haseul replied. “Though that sort of hunting isn’t for animals.”
“You look for spirits to purify?”
She wrinkled her nose. “I’d say yes, but I’m not a fan of that word.”
That was interesting. “Others use it,” Vivi said. “Some say you negate the negative emotions, allowing the positive to overcome the spirit. Then they’re free of things like anger and fear.”
Her brow rose. “These the emotional fae talking?”
Vivi nodded. What did the elves know about them? What misconceptions were there? Did they think all mental fae were evil? That all elementals were aggressive?
“Makes better sense than purging the evil from them.” Haseul shook her head. “A ridiculous way to look at it.”
“Won’t others hear you?” Vivi looked around.
“Most won’t understand us as well as you do them,” she replied. “And the elders usually don’t care.”
Finally, they sat down by a fire. Vivi stretched out her leg. She couldn’t find anything about this fire pit that made it different from the rest. How would she find it again?
She didn’t ask about that. She had a different question. Now she could ask it. “Then why do you know it better than them?”
“Not how?”
Vivi shook her head. “You learned it.”
Haseul grinned. “Good point.” She stoked the flames with a white stick. The stick then vanished, absorbed back into her skin. “For one thing, I've got to be ready for almost all negotiations. Second, it’ll be something we’ll all need one day. When our groups actually coexist peacefully.”
She couldn’t help her disbelief. “That sounds a bit idealistic.”
“I know,” Haseul sighed, “but we’re immortal. One day could be in a thousand years.” Then she smiled again. “But at least you and I’re talking. And I’m going to hope my accent doesn’t sound terrible.”
Vivi smiled slightly. “It doesn’t.”
Haseul nodded. “You can understand everything we say, right?”
“Yes. When Heejin had been speaking, I hadn’t been able to understand everything,” she said. “But some.” Enough, she added silently.
“Right,” she bit her lip, “I don’t know what happened there.” She straightened. “But she’ll come around.”
“And how long until then?”
Haseul only shrugged. At least she wasn't being a blind optimist here.
Vivi knew outrage like that. She knew it simmered, even if she'd hardly done anything to deserve it. There was a part of her that wanted to trust the judgement of the rest. They were surprised at how Heejin acted. Was Vivi supposed to pay more attention to it?
She dismissed the thought. She wouldn’t give Heejin the benefit of the doubt. Whatever the case, Heejin would have to be the one to bridge whatever gaps there were. Vivi wouldn’t be a slave to hope. Not again.
_____
Hyunjin frowned at the girl in front of her.
“What was that?” Some would say she had little right questioning her, but Heejin wouldn't. She'd be frustrated, Hyunjin knew that, but there was still a good chance she'd listen. Or at least explain.
Heejin scowled. “They’ll doubt her being here, but wouldn’t doubt it before?”
“And you’re going to take that out on her?” Hyunjin raised a brow.
“I wasn’t allowed to take anything out on anyone!” Her pink eyes blazed. “The second this becomes too much for me, you’re going to tell me I can’t say anything?”
There was so much anger. Hyunjin had felt some of it earlier while they were fighting, but Heejin had controlled it better then. She knew it'd help her in a real fight.
But now that she wasn’t focusing on something else, Heejin was letting her anger run freely. Hyunjin wished it hadn’t been building up like this. Was it her fault for not talking about it more? She didn't know how to talk about this, especially not Hyejoo.
“I never said that.” Hyunjin held up her hands, resisting the urge to take hold of the other’s. “You can take it out all you want on me, but not on someone who’s come here alone, an outsider only because of the way she was born.” And if the rest had had problems with Jungeun and the others, just because they weren’t Astra, then Viian would face something even worse.
“She was never an outsider and look what they did,” Heejin spat. “They never doubted it, because it suited them to throw her away.”
And here, it didn’t suit them to accept someone who was half an elf. But Vivi didn't know this. She didn't know what had happened before. Not yet.
“And this's exactly when you’re not supposed to act like them.” Hyunjin didn’t say it, but Heejin was better than that.
In the next moment, pink eyes were just a few centimetres away.
Hyunjin didn’t step away. She maintained her ground as if she was in a fight, but her mind wasn't as steady. They hadn't been this close outside of training in—how long had it been?
“Don’t you dare tell me I’m acting like them,” Heejin hissed. “You saw it just as well as I did. You know how wrong it was.”
“Yes,” Hyunjin said. “But you’re making everyone think you’re rejecting her for a different reason.” She paused. “For the reason I thought you were rejecting her.” And she hadn’t wanted to believe it. She was glad she hadn’t.
“And that was?” Her brow rose a fraction. She was still so close. Too close.
“She’s half fae.”
Heejin drew her head back. “That makes no difference.”
“Then don’t act like it does,” Hyunjin replied. "Don't make her think it does."
She scoffed and pushed past her.
“Wait.”
“No.” Then Heejin was gone.
Hyunjin sighed. At least she knew what the problem was. Would it be solved any time soon? Was there anything she could do to help?
She hoped so.
_____
Author's Note
So we're in the camp now. In my head, the Astra are more of a society that bridge the gaps between a city and a camp, if that makes any sense. They're ready to be on the move if necessary, but they're not a nomadic people.
Regardless, the situation I've been alluding to with Olivia happened some time ago—a bit over fifty years, but due to immortality that hasn't quite led to there being massive changes in individuals. The wounds it left are still fresh for some and avoided by others (though some do just forget).
I'll be exploring that some more in the future chapters, but we're also following Vivi's story as she's introduced to the lunar elves. There's also going to be segments devoted to the other characters, as well as snippets from the past. Not large I don't think, save for one very important moment, but that part is still in the works.
Hope you're enjoying the story so far! Would love to know any thoughts you're having.
See you in the next chapter.
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