Hitomi wakes with a silent scream.

She jolts up to sit, breathing heavily as she runs her fingers through her hair, forehead damp with cold sweat—

A nightmare.

She desperately swallows down the images of the dream her mind inevitably drags up following the realization, wincing at the dryness painfully tells her upon the action. She carefully takes a peek at the bunk below hers, giving out a sigh when she sees it empty.

Chaeyeon must've been camping over in Sakura's gameroom again.

With a quiet intake of breath, she moves to come down from her bunk, the wooden stairs cold within her hold. It feels cold in her chest, too, she reflects, bringing her arms to wrap around herself the moment she touches the ground, regulating her breaths. The nightmare is burning coldly into her memory, as though trying to coax another reaction out of her, pieces of the dream lurking silently inside her mind, waiting for her to close her eyes again.

She presses her lips into a thin line and pads her way out of the room, heading for the kitchen, trying to focus her entire attention to a glass of water she has decided to get—

A rustle of movement reaches her ears at the same time she steps into the kitchen, eyes widening at the presence that has been there before her. Said presence pauses and turns, alerted by her dragged footsteps, and then there' a smile greeting her warmly like a cup of hot chocolate in the rain,

"Oh, hey, why are you awake?"

She exhales slowly, blinking out her surprise. She lets the question hang in the air, unanswered. Her arms loosen around her, falling to her sides as she takes the few footsteps needed to reach the kitchen intruder. She doesn't need to say anything, doesn't need to communicate her wants—the person has already opened her arms, knowing, inviting, and she simply moves into the embrace, pressing her face into the crook of neck warm with life.

"Hey," her hugger whispers, a light kiss grazing the side of her head, "what's wrong? A nightmare?"

She hesitates, grasping at the end of the other's shirt. "When did you trespass into our dorm, unnie?"

She doesn't want to talk about it yet, something Chaewon acknowledges by the simple hum she produces, arms tightening around Hitomi’s frame,

"Yuri's sleeping over at our dorm, so in exchange Chaeyeon-unnie asked me to come to keep Nako and Wonyoung company."

A disbelieving snort, "Why would they need you?"

"Horror movies marathon," comes the simple reply, tone holding an undercurrent of thin amusement. Another light kiss presses down the crown of her head, "You were already asleep by the time I arrived."

Hitomi mums, snuggling deeper into the hug. She lets silence take them, lets it envelop the kitchen. As Chaewon starts to her hair, she closes her eyes, letting herself to dwell in the moment for a bit, thinking to herself—

"I need water," she croaks, and the fingers in her hair halt.

"Do you want me to make you some tea?"

"No," she isn't in the mood for tea, isn't in the mood for the world, really, "just water."

Chaewon makes an agreeing sound, loosening her hold and smiling when Hitomi steps back to gaze up at her. The sight of that smile softens her mood a little, a fact she keeps to herself as she watches Chaewon turn and fetch two mugs from the dishwasher rack.

"Cold or warm or scorching hot?" Chaewon asks, her back facing Hitomi.

"Room temperature, please."

"The room is currently cold."

"Is it?" A smile tugs the corners of her lips, unseen by the person it's caused by, "Feels rather warm with you in here, Unnie."

An airy chuckle rewards her, the light sound filling up the kitchen and her heart. She lets the sound in, lets herself to be swept into the soft thrum of fondness coursing through her veins.

A beat spent dealing with the dispenser, and Chaewon finally turns towards her again, two mugs filled with water in each of her hands. Ripe water, Wonyoung would seriously advocate, explaining for the umpteenth time that water in the middle of the night is made of a special set of superior molecules that would benefit your health and make your tastebuds happy, whatever that means.

She accepts the offered mug, holds it preciously between her palms. Chaewon gives her a grin, clinking their mugs together, and takes a sip first.

She follows, lifting her mug up to her lips and slightly tilting it to begin drinking. She lets the fresh liquid to soothe her dry throat, running smoothly down her esophagus. Wonyoung isn’t entirely wrong; there's a certain quality to the night water that sets it apart from water during the day, Hitomi fleetingly acknowledges, ending her long sip with a contented exhale, pulling the half-empty mug down.

Chaewon has finished her entire glass before she does, a pair of starry eyes watching her without a word. Hitomi looks up to meet her gaze, curving a smile—

having it falter as the images of her nightmare creep back at that very moment.

Chaewon seems to sense it, because the mug is then taken out of Hitomi’s hands, the two cups being set aside on the counter. A pair of familiar warmth gently encircles her wrists,

"Hitomi—"

"I had a nightmare."

Chaewon pauses, producing a tilt of her head and a concerned narrow of eyebrows, prompting her to continue.

So she takes a deep breath,

"It's—well, it doesn't... feel as scary now, but. The world was ending. The Earth was collapsing and I had been building a spaceship with—don't laugh, but—it's some kind of metal with every lyrics I've ever sung inscribed upon them..."

Chaewon nods slowly, squeezing her hands.

"It's the only material I could use, for some reason. The very thing that limited the size of the spaceship, and I was trying my best to save—everyone. But I couldn't find you. I kept looking but I couldn't find you."

"I think your dream is homophobic," Chaewon comments, crinkling her nose.

She allows herself a snicker, looking down at the fingers curled around her wrists.

"When I finally found you, my spaceship was already full." She bites her lower lip, willing it to not waver, "It was—it hurt. Because you kept telling me to let you go. Eunbi-unnie offered to take your place and you got mad, asking me if I told her to do that, saying that it's my own fault the spaceship isn't bigger, and—I didn't get to refute you. The planet exploded. I couldn't save you. I lost you."

She doesn't realize that her face has fallen into an anguish frown until the warmth leaves her wrists, the hands gently going up to cup her cheeks instead, tilting her head until their eyes meet.

Chaewon doesn't tell her that it's silly, doesn't laugh at the ridiculous premises of the dream, doesn't snicker at her pain.

All she does is pulling her in to press a kiss onto her forehead and whispers, "You didn't lose me."

Hitomi breathes out, slowly grasping the warm hands around her.

"It felt like I did."

Chaewon pulls away slightly, warm palms falling away from Hitomi's cheeks, moving to rest upon her shoulders. Her eyes are serious when she asks, "Does your dream accept revisions?"

"I—" Hitomi would prefer to not have it a second time, to be honest, but. "Probably?"

"Then we're emailing our agency tomorrow," Chaewon whispers in a conspiratorial manner, the glint in her eyes a mix of mischief and complete seriousness. "Better give you more lines! Or they aren't getting a place in your spaceship."

The corners of her lips twitch up. "We can't do that—"

"Sure can," Chaewon firmly says, shaking her head, "you're more than capable to handle it." Then, in a softer tone as she leans in,

"You're more than capable to save me."

The words are whispered to her lips a second before Chaewon catches her in a kiss, and she melts into it, melts into her, the warm mouth on hers quietly chasing away the remnants of terror and desperation her nightmare has managed to imprint.

You’re more than capable to save me, she coils her fingers around that sentence, keeps it close to her chest.

For a long time, she has learned to keep her nightmares to herself, burying the thoughts and worries they evoked under the routines of her days. She kept them to herself, trying to pick apart the meanings behind every horror, trying to evaluate every insecurity they might have hinted at. She kept them to herself, because unloading them to someone else isn't fair, and there was rarely anything to say outside of it's just a dream, or you'll be fine, or relax yourself more, you're too stressed—and trying to explain more would only make herself a burden—

Chaewon deepens their kiss for a beat before finally pulling away, warm breath caressing Hitomi’s lips. There's an endearing triumph in her eyes at the sight of the smile Hitomi has, fingers brushing aside a tuft of hair from her forehead, replaced with a sweet, fleeting peck.

"How do we feel about me sleeping with you tonight?"

She has long learned to keep her nightmares to herself, until Chaewon comes knocking in, peering from the crack of the door, asking if she's okay, staying even when she begins to speak, begins to burden her with the tales of dreams, begins to seek for her after the restless sleeps.

"Are you sure?" she asks, voice quieter and more hesitant than she would have liked, "I'm probably going to be—I’ll be very clingy."

A pinch to her cheek, "Why do you make it sound like I'd hate it?” Chaewon smiles softly, “That's a win for me, you know."

She has long learned to keep her nightmares to herself, until Chaewon materializes in her life—bringing with her a quiet understanding, an appropriate humour, a steady reassurance, a whole world of comfort.

"Then I'd like that," she murmurs, smiling and feeling warm at the answering beam that lights up Chaewon's face.

"Your nightmare's going to get its kicked,"

"I doubt it," she softly says, smile widening at the shock crossing Chaewon’s expression. The notion that her presence won't be enough to fight off Hitomi's nightmare seems to offend her, so Hitomi kisses her, feeling the barrage of dismayed words dissipate along with a sigh, Chaewon softening into her kiss, hands on her hips pulling her closer as though to ward off the chilling air in the room.

She hopes that Chaewon would know then, that there would only be nice dreams whenever she’s with her, and that’s why she said it, the doubt.

You can't kick someone you never encounter.

Chaewon pulls away first, blinking at her with flush stealing across her cheeks. There's a smile—Chaewon never fails to smile for her, never seems to get tired of smiling around her—and a thick fondness as Chaewon murmurs, "We need to get you enough sleep, you early riser."

"Mmm," Hitomi glances at the untouched cups on the kitchen counter.

"We'll wash it first thing in the morning," Chaewon says, affectionately ruffling her hair. "Come on, I'll cuddle you to sleep."

So she nods, feeling Chaewon's fingers wrap around hers, letting herself to be tugged into the direction of her bedroom. She doesn't have any doubt that she will get to sleep—the thought of the last nightmare is rapidly fading, leaving only the barest trail of numb ache easily overpowered by Chaewon’s warmth. And with her so close, she feels safe, more than anything. Because she trusts her to hold her when she's shaken, trusts her to be the light amidst her darkness.

She has long learned to keep her nightmares to herself,

until Chaewon comes, and then she doesn't have to.

*

"I'm serious about petitioning to lengthen your parts, by the way."

"...goodnight, Unnie."

[ ♡ ]